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Gertie threw open the front door of the Sheriff's Department and announced, "We're here."
Carter wandered out of his office, his hair still wet from his shower. "So I see. Kyle, they're here."
Deputy Kyle Breaux nervously cleared his throat. "Uh, yeah. I see it too."
"Oh, for Pete's sake," Ida Belle said. "We're here..."
Gertie cut her off. "We're here to give our statements and to let you know you arrested the wrong woman."
Ida Belle scowled at Gertie and Carter chuckled. "You can't have it both ways, Gertie. I don't need your statements if she's innocent."
"Yes, you do. The woman you arrested assaulted you, but she didn't kill Tabby."
"Who said she murdered Tabby?" Carter asked.
Gertie's look was one a teacher would give a student who wasn't putting forth any effort. "Just how many murders are you handling right now?" she asked.
"You'd be surprised," he drawled.
"No, I wouldn't," Gertie said firmly. "We all heard you arrest her. Now are you going to hear what I have to say or will I have to call your mother?"
"My mother doesn't care if you tell on me."
"Who said anything about telling on you? I'm simply going to let her know you arrested the wrong person." Gertie smiled and even Ida Belle looked impressed at her devious arm twisting. Carter's mother was in the middle of the gossip cloud that hung over Sinful and Gertie had just threatened to seed that cloud with false information.
"Fine," Carter growled. He jumped back when they rushed for his office. "Kyle, would you like to take their statements?" he asked.
"Fat chance," Kyle snorted. Then his face turned red. "I mean..."
"I know." Carter took a deep breath and followed the ladies to his office. He leaned against the wall when Gertie smiled at him from his own chair. "Make yourselves at home."
"You were always a polite boy," Gertie told him.
"Gertie, stop lying just to get on his good side." Ida Belle barely restrained her sniff of indignation.
"Why are you here?" Carter asked. Gertie opened her mouth and he cut her off. "I know it's not to give statements about what happened at the country club because then you'd have to admit how you finagled your way in."
"We didn't finagle anything," Jo said. "Didn't you see our guest passes?"
"Keep working on that story," he suggested. "I talked to the receptionist and you might be interested to know she's giving me a statement later."
"Then you'll want our statements first," Gertie told him.
"Why?" Carter couldn't keep the arch grin off his face.
Ida Belle leaned back in her chair and propped her feet up on Carter's desk with an equally smug smile. "Why don't you make a pot of fresh coffee?"
That wiped the grin off his face. "You won't be here long enough to drink a cup, let alone a pot."
Jo tried to put her feet up as well, but her short legs made it harder so she propped them against the side of the desk. "I don't have plans for the rest of the day."
Carter shifted his eyes to Minnow. She shrugged and her feet went up as well.
"Gertie?" Carter waited to see if she'd tip over in his chair trying to put her feet on the desk.
"Have Kyle run down to Francine's for coffee cake," Gertie requested.
Carter's face turned red and he exploded. "I'm not taking food orders, ladies!"
Gertie's palm hit the desk. "Then why did you ask? Maybe you need a refresher course in manners after all."
"What I need is to know how these meetings always get out of hand," he said to himself as he rubbed his jaw.
Jo sat up. "We can make it fast and painless or long and..."
"Say what you came to say!" he hollered.
"How did you know to arrest Mrs. O'Hara?" Gertie demanded.
"That information is part of the ongoing investigation." Carter wore a stubborn look.
"I warned you," Ida Belle said to Jo. She stood and headed to the door.
"Where are you going?" Carter asked suspiciously.
"I'm having Kyle put on a fresh pot of coffee." Ida Belle paused in the doorway of Carter's office and bellowed out an order. "Anything else?" she asked the ladies in the office. Carter moved Ida Belle from the doorway and shot down her request for coffee with an even louder bellow to Kyle. He closed the door to his office because the women would soon be issuing orders to Kyle like they were his boss. Then he impatiently tapped his forefinger on the file cabinet while Gertie snickered and Jo elbowed Minnow with a grin.
"I sure hope you caught Tabby's real killer," Minnow sighed as she sent Carter a worried glance. "Is it okay if I call you in the middle of the night? In case I hear someone breaking into my apartment?"
"Maybe you should get a gun," Ida Belle advised.
"I'll give you shooting lessons," Gertie offered.
"Do you women fertilize those imaginations or does the BS just come naturally?" Carter asked. "And Minnow? Given your history I'd say Marc had better wear something other than boxers to bed. Like a flak suit."
"Ooh, does your husband wear boxers?" Gertie asked. "What does he prefer- stripes, plain, or something with a cute pattern? I'm trying to decide what to get George..."
Carter cleared his throat with a look of disbelief. "Do you really need me here for this?"
Gertie looked apologetic. "I'm sorry, Carter. That was rude. I should have asked you first. What's your preference? And is it Fortune's preference as well?"
Carter appeared ready to stroke out. "Mrs. O'Hara's husband gave us a tip that led to her arrest. He found her bleach spattered clothes buried in the trash can the morning after Tabby was murdered."
Gertie looked blank. "What does that have to do with your boxers?" The door crashed against the wall as Carter ran from his office and Gertie turned to the others. "Maybe he doesn't wear boxers. I've heard tidy whities can pinch and bind. I guess that's why he's so ill-tempered. We really need to have a talk with Fortune when she gets back."
Meanwhile, Jo hopped up and chased Carter to the main office. "Hey, sailor! You owe me a drink," she shouted as Carter raced for the front door. He escaped and Kyle peeked at Jo from the corner of his eyes. She gave him a broad smile. "When a man sees you without your clothes he should at least buy you a drink, right?" Kyle's eyes wandered south of Jo's neck and he wheezed as he nodded with a flaming red face.