Family Decisions

Partisans hid in the countryside

fighting against the Germans.

Iser wanted to join them.

Mama would hear none of it.

You are just a boy,

she said, cradling his face in her shaking hands.

But, Mama!

Iser’s voice cracked

his face flushed.

We must stay together,

Tata decided.

We must do as we are told.

We have done nothing wrong.

We have nothing to fear.

The Germans are not monsters.

I could not imagine Iser

a partisan,

fighting

in the woods

against the Germans.

He was just a boy,

my little brother,

even if he had grown taller

in the year since his bar mitzvah.

I could not imagine myself

a partisan,

fighting

in the woods

against the Germans.

I was just a girl

yet I wanted to go.

Wanted to fight,

do something other than

what I was told.

Little Lázaro played happily

oblivious

on the floor with his train.

Smiling when the wheels spun

round so fast they hummed.

Necha’s head bowed over a book

oblivious also,

though she was old enough

to know better,

her feet tucked under her

to keep them warm.

But, Tata,

Iser argued.

But, Tata,

I argued.

Tata cut us both off with

a stern look.

Enough, Iser.

Zlatka, mind yourself,

Tata’s voice harder than I had ever heard.

No more discussion.

I knew

even if he disagreed with Tata

Iser would do as he was told.

I wondered,

If I were a boy,

would I?