SHOW AND TELL
The fourth annual office party was fast approaching. Crystal was running herself ragged trying to arrange everything. Their guests included clients, other attorneys and a judge or two. The first year Crystal suggested a party, Susan wasn’t too keen on it, saying, “We shouldn’t party with people we work with.”
“You’re acting like we’re having a street party. This is a professional party with professional people. It’s a time to relax and be ourselves. We’re a new firm, and it’s a good way to put us out there. Good PR, so to speak. Plus, when the suits come off, people are different,” Crystal responded.
Elsie was indifferent, as usual. She told them, “When you decide, let me know.”
Everyone had such a good time at the first party that it became a yearly event, something to look forward to. People were able to relax, if only for a night.
“Jewell, when you return from lunch, will you call the planners and see where everything stands with the party?”
“Yes,” Jewell responded. She was glad Crystal told her to do it after lunch. She and Elsie were stepping out. They had developed a friendship outside of the office. It had a lot to do with the fact that even in this day and age, to some, their relationships were considered taboo.
Earlier that day, Jewell was staring out the window, looking stressed. Elsie took notice and asked her if everything was okay.
“Not really,” Jewell told her.
“Want to talk about it?”
Jewell figured what the heck, might as well. “Let’s talk at lunchtime. It’s sort of private.”
Elsie wondered if she was the one Jewell should be talking to. Then again, she did offer, and you never know, the tables might be turned one day and she may need someone to talk to.
Lunchtime didn’t come soon enough. They decided to go to a little café around the corner
“So, what’s up?” Elsie leaned back on the booth.
“Well, I think I’m falling in love with Evan. I’m just not sure if it’s the right thing to do or if I’m even ready for it.”
“Why not? Is it because you’re afraid of what you feel or what other people might think?”
“I’m not sure. I always thought black should be with black, and white should be with white.”
“Yeah, I always thought men should be with women.”
Jewell decided to ask what she’d wanted to know all along. “Why do you like women? Are you attracted to men at all?”
Elsie didn’t answer for a while. No one had ever just come right out and asked her personal questions like that before. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to expose herself.
Sensing her discomfort, Jewell apologized. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to blurt that out. I was just curious. If I’m prying, excuse me. You don’t have to tell me shit.”
“No, you’re not prying,” Elsie told her. “It’s not that I’m not attracted to men. Occasionally I might find one appealing. It’s just that my preference is women. They are what makes me happy. There was a time when I wished I could change it, but I realized I couldn’t and I’ve decided to accept it.”
Jewell slammed her hand down on the table. “You know what we should do?”
“What?”
“You should bring your lover and I should bring Evan to the office party. It’ll be our coming out night.”
“I already invited Summer,” Elsie revealed.
“Get out!” Jewell was surprised.
“Now I’m wondering if I should renege on the invite.”
“Why would you do that?”
“Fear,” Elsie answered honestly.
Later that night, Elsie sat on the couch, looked at the phone and tried to figure out a way to uninvite Summer. What would she say? “The party has been canceled.” That would be too obviously untrue.
Elsie was nervous about coming out to friends and coworkers. As it was, Crystal and Susan were wondering why she rarely went on dates. In the past, Susan even tried to set her up with a couple of Timothy’s friends. Well, they were going to find out tonight if she didn’t come up with a plan.
She picked up the phone, dialed the number, hung up, dialed the number and hung up again. After the third hang up, she decided to get off the couch and try to keep busy until it was time to get dressed. As she stood up, the phone rang.
Elsie hesitated before answering the phone. “Hello?”
“Why do you keep calling and hanging up?” Summer wanted to know.
Duh. Elsie forgot about caller ID. Before she could answer, Summer said, “You’re nervous about the party, aren’t you?”
That was one of the reasons Elsie loved Summer. She knew her so well. “I’m a little nervous.”
“If you’ve changed your mind about me going as your date, I’ll understand.”
Elsie knew Summer meant what she was saying, and she appreciated it.
“Well?” Summer asked. She would do whatever Elsie decided, because she knew that Elsie’s coming out at the workplace was a big deal, not something to be rushed into.
Summer was offering her a way out. If she was smart she would take it, but she didn’t. “No, I haven’t changed my mind. I want you to come. I’m tired of hiding you. I’m tired of hiding us. I’m ready for this.”
“Are you sure?” Summer asked.
“Yes, I am.” Elsie had to admit she was tired of not being able to be herself, of hiding what was a big part of her. She couldn’t be in the shadows forever, this she knew. So, why keep putting it off? She was who she was and it was time for people to start dealing with it.
“Good. I was getting a little worried,” Summer told her. “Now, I’m going to go find something to wear. Love you.”
“Love you too,” Elsie responded before hanging up.
In a boutique downtown, Crystal was looking for an outfit to wear to the party. As usual, she was pissed because she’d waited until the last minute.
While in the dressing room, she heard a deep, sexy laugh. When she stepped out of the dressing room, she glanced around, being nosy. Crystal noticed that the woman who laughed looked extremely familiar, although she couldn’t place her. Normally something like that would not have bothered her, but this time it did. She wanted to ask her if they had met, but there was an intimacy between the woman and the man she was with, so Crystal thought it was best not to disturb them.
“I can’t see you tonight,” she heard the woman say. “I have other plans.”
“You always have other plans,” the man said.
“Well, you know my situation,” she told him, kissing him on the lips.
“That I do. Just try to make time for me soon. I miss you.” On that note, the lady walked away, glancing briefly at Crystal.
After choosing a white pantsuit and paying for her outfit, Crystal decided to go home and call Roger. When he had pulled her over, it was a shock seeing him. But once she’d had a chance to digest it, she had to admit it was nice, and the past was the past. Maybe it was time to let it go.
She and Roger had broken up a week after the rape when she told finally told him what happened. Instead of being there for her, he distanced himself. She was hurt by his response, which was to run the other way. Now she realized that it was because he was young and didn’t know how to handle it.
Before going home, Crystal decided to drop by the bookstore. She hadn’t read a good book in a long time. Reading used to be one of her passions, when she had time for it, and after hearing Elsie on the phone with one of her book club members, she’d decided to try to get back into it.
She pulled into the parking lot and wondered what was going on. It was packed. When she walked in, she read a sign announcing a book signing. Essence bestselling author Angel M. Hunter was signing her new book.
Might as well buy one of her books while I’m here, Crystal thought. Looking at the line and noticing how long it was, she decided to look around until the crowd thinned out.
She was glancing through magazines when she felt someone tap her on the shoulder. Lo and behold, it was Roger!
Crystal shook her head and laughed. “It’s just funny seeing you here.”
“What? A brother can’t read?” he joked with her.
“No, no, nothing like that. I was thinking about giving you a call when I got home.”
“Oh yeah?”
Boldly, Crystal told him, “I was going to ask you if you’d be interested in going out.”
“Really?”
“Yes.”
“When?”
“I know it’s last minute and all, but my firm—”
“Your firm?”
“Yes, I’m an attorney. My firm is having an office party, and I was wondering if you would be my date.”
“I’d be honored.”
Crystal opened her purse, pulled out her business card and handed it to him. “Give me a call and I’ll give you the details.”
Roger gladly took the card and told her, “I will do that.”
Suddenly Crystal felt uncomfortable and unsure of herself. “Um, well, I’ll talk to you later.” She left him standing there.