Looking at the calendar on the desk in the salon, I’m relieved that it’s a slow day today. No amount of Bear Brew smoothies or Sally-Anne’s bagels are giving me an energy boost the last few days. I’m completely beat, and my body just wants to sleep.
The only logical reasoning is that my period is about to start a tiny bitsy late. But when I look at the calendar yet again today, I realize that even late, this is getting a little out of the window of comfort.
No. No. No.
Must be a mistake.
That quickening feeling around my heart returns and my brain jumps to the thought that it may have subconsciously been avoiding.
Glancing up to Amber who is finishing with a client, I know she can handle the rest of the day without me. “Hey, Amber, I need to head out for supplies. You’ll be fine to lock up?”
“No problem,” she says as she waves a comb in the air before turning back to her client.
Grabbing my keys, I head to my car and realize that I only have one option right now. I need to drive out of town.
I can’t afford someone seeing me buying a copious number of pregnancy tests then spreading the gossip around like wildfire.
It’s completely okay, though, because after I get that negative test, then I can check out the sales or something in Target, the place that I drive to, the place of my refuge.
It must be forty minutes later when I’m staring down at my empty red basket and then back up at the shelf with way too many options.
I’m lost and frozen in the moment.
Then I snap myself back into reality and begin to grab a test option.
“Kelsey?” The sound of Brooke’s voice surprises me and startles me enough that it causes me to drop the box in my hand.
“Fuck,” I mumble to myself and lean down. “What are you doing here? I came all the way here to avoid people who may recognize me.”
Brooke quickly bends down to help me and then we both stand slowly together. Her face is completely in shock. “I promised to take Lucy here after school.”
I scan the area around me in slight panic. “Shit, is she here?”
Brooke painfully nods her head yes. “Rosie too,” she squeaks out.
“You brought the whole crew?” I screech in a loud whisper.
“I didn’t know you would be here,” she loudly whispers back then leans closer to me so nobody else can hear. “Let alone buying pregnancy tests.”
“Great, now I’m a shitty influence to a sixteen-year-old.” I flop the box into my basket.
“And it might just be her niece or nephew too.” Brooke gives me a fake awkward smile as she grabs another box to throw in my basket.
I give her an unamused look. “How did you know?”
“You two are the worst-kept secret. Only Grayson hasn’t picked up on it, or maybe he has. Anyhow, Rosie is with Lucy in the toy section, so we have a solid twenty minutes. Try the digital one.” She indicates her head to another box.
“Maybe this is overboard. I probably only need one since it’s just a false-alarm-need-to-double-check kind of thing,” I try to justify my reasoning for my trip to this aisle.
Brooke looks at me with a mix of sympathy and humor. “That’s what I thought, then I had Rosie—and that was with birth control,” she quips.
My body stills and I silently curse to myself.
“You use birth control, right?” Brooke double-checks.
I shrug a shoulder and croak out some words. “I mean, most of the time.” I laugh nervously. “There was this one time in the barn, then another time in his car, and I think there may be a third time that we forgot.”
Her jaw drops, and I realize how this situation just entered code red.
We both have confirming eyes before we turn and begin to throw extra tests into the basket.
“Shit, shit, shit. I’m so screwed.”
“It will be fine. Are you going to take the tests now?”
“Might as well. I mean, if it’s positive then I’m already here to start the baby registry,” I attempt to joke, but it falls flat because I’m holding back tears.
Brooke takes my arm and the basket from me. “Come on, I’ll text Lucy to keep Rosie occupied and check out the clearance section or something.”
“Okay.” I let her lead the way.
She hands me another test to stick in the Big Gulp cup of pee.
“Are you sure?” I ask again.
“Kelsey, it’s the seventh test. You only have one more to take. By the way, what’s with the iced cookies the shape of footballs?”
I cap the stick and rest it on the toilet paper dispenser. “I figured I would need some comfort food on my ride back and those were the only option left in the bakery section.”
“Aww, that’s kind of cute. I mean, Bennett was a football player back in high school,” she coos.
“Seriously, this is why I didn’t tell you,” I admit and snap. “This isn’t a happy cutesy occasion. This is the baby daddy and I didn’t plan for this occasion.”
Brooke touches my arm. “I know, but speaking as someone who had an unplanned pregnancy, just know that it can turn out to be the best thing ever.”
“I can’t think about it right now. Sorry I snapped. Actually, I’m relieved you’re here.” I attempt to give her an appreciative look.
“Me too. You’re not alone, and I doubt Bennett will walk away from this.”
“One step at a time. Now, should I get more tests?” I wonder, because I need to be certain.
Brooke indicates her head to the line of tests next to the sink. “Between the double lines, plus signs, smiley face, and the actual word pregnant, I think you have your answer.” A weak smile stretches on her lips.
I shake my head in disbelief.
I’m pregnant.
All night I tossed and turned. This was not part of the plan, yet somehow I willingly rode the express train of stupidity and felt birth control wasn’t that crucial. Turns out, yeah, it is.
Driving along the road, I breathe to myself as I go over how I’m going to tell Bennett.
I honestly have no clue and I’m just going to wing it. I’ll just state the facts and tell him he is off the hook, even though on the inside I absolutely do not want to do this alone, but I will if I need to.
He can take his sizzling kisses and tender touches and shove it. Because it got me pregnant. I’m pregnant.
How many times can I repeat that statement?
Maybe I will just show him a test and say nothing. He’s smart, he can figure it out.
I bet he is now really going to regret kissing and confusing me. Because this baby wins the award for catching us off guard.
Considering I should feel numb and disappointed that my life is about to change in a way that I didn’t particularly want at this point, I’m charged up.
I’m a rollercoaster of emotions yet energized and ready to flip Bennett’s world upside down. He has to know, and he has to hear it from me.
Yep, I’ve got this.
Blowing out a breath, I continue mentally preparing myself as I make my way to Olive Owl. Once there, I park, but I can’t seem to leave my car.
Instead, nerves hit me, and I’m scared for his response. Staring at the paper bag on my front seat that houses the abundance of tests that I took, I know either way, my life is changing.
Is it so bad that I hope Bennett will be by my side?
I look up and notice his truck and the barn—two possible culprits of how this all happened.
Couldn’t Bennett Blisswood have lousy aim, instead of a direct bullseye?
Ugh, adrenaline is kicking in again, and I need to act on this.
Grabbing the bag, I open my door and stand tall as I walk in the direction of the inn to tell Bennett that he is going to be a father.