Blowing out a breath, I allow the hot water to run down my back as a wave ripples through me. I know it will soon pass, just like it has the other few times in the last hour.
Holding onto the wall of the shower, I try to distribute the pain by rocking back and forth between legs. A few more breaths and I feel the pain fade.
Perfect. I can get out of the shower, put on the outfit that I’ve had planned for weeks, curl my hair, and throw on some make-up.
Opening the door of the shower and there isn’t enough steam to hide me from Bennett who enters the bathroom that we now share. We moved into his father’s house three weeks ago and within a day everyone had it ready to go.
The last few weeks, I’ve enjoyed the comfort of the fact that Bennett and I are in this all together and committed. We know we will work, yet we keep learning new things about each other. It’s excitement mixed with security, and it feels perfectly right.
“What are you doing? It’s two in the morning.” He sounds groggy as he scratches his head and squints an eye.
Okay. Here. We. Go.
I’ve been pushing through not to freak him out. I’m calm, but I know in zero-point-three seconds that someone in this room won’t be.
He tosses me a towel and I reluctantly say the words. “It’s time.”
My eyes go wide as I patiently wait for my statement to register in his brain.
“As in…” he slurs out.
“The baby is coming.” An awkward smile forms on my mouth.
He nods blankly before blinking a few times. “Since when?”
“I mean, I guess what I was feeling last night after dinner was really the start, but it’s been maybe an hour since it’s clear that he wants to come out today, which is great as it’s a new moon which is perfect, isn’t it?” I ramble and smile in excitement.
“Were you planning to tell me about any of this or send me a birth announcement in the mail?” Bennett looks slightly scared.
“For sure. I was going to get ready, make a few snacks for the hospital, then wake you.” My chipper tone doesn’t fade.
He steps closer to me and takes the towel to help me pat my skin dry. “You didn’t want me to freak out, did you?”
My head tilts side to side. “I mean, what could you have done now anyway?” I avoid the answer.
“You are fucking amazing. You’re in labor but you literally let me sleep. Come on, let’s get our stuff and head to the hospital. I’m ready,” he assures me.
“Great. I need like maybe half an hour to get ready. I want to curl my hair.”
Now he looks at me oddly. “Do we have half an hour?”
“Yes, it’s still early stages. I want to look my best when we meet him.” Maybe that is crazy, but introductions are only done once, and I want it to be as perfect as can be.
His eyes run a line up and down my body before leaning over to kiss my forehead. “Fine. I’ll go along with this until I think you need a reality check.”
With a confirming smile, I get to work on dressing while Bennett gets ready and grabs a coffee. I have a few more contractions while I’m applying my make-up, but nothing too crazy. By the time that I’m satisfied with my look in the mirror and appreciate the black cotton dress, perfect for feeding and labor that I nabbed in a sale, I feel completely ready for the day ahead.
Walking through the hall, I stop at the door of the nursery and a spark lights in my heart. We kept it simple, with the crib and rocking chair taking center stage, plus gray accessories and a little teepee in the corner with a few stuffed animals. I notice the baby’s bag for the hospital is already gone. Bennett is taking his list of three responsibilities for the day seriously.
Pack the car, drive me in the car, and don’t freak out.
He has been amazing the last few weeks as we made final preparations and streamed a lot of pregnancy yoga videos. As much as he has calmed, I know today still scares him. So, I subconsciously decided that I need to be the one who tries to stay calm. Brooke thinks I’m maybe insane, but I feel completely ready and excited to bring a baby into the world.
Arriving in the kitchen, I grab a pot to boil some water.
“What are you doing now?” Bennett comes in from the garage.
“Boiling some eggs. I think it’s good to bring some protein snacks.”
He takes the pot from my hands, completely skeptical. “We have time for this?”
“Yea—ow, oh-ee-fuck.” Another contraction hits me, and I lean over to grip the edge of the sink, as this one is stronger than the others.
Bennett instantly rubs my lower back while I breathe out the pain for the next fifty seconds. “You’ve got this, baby.”
Suddenly, I feel completely normal again. Holding a finger up to stop Bennett about to lecture me, I say, “Okay, so maybe snack-making will have to wait. We have the granola bars and nuts in the hospital bag anyway. Why don’t we head on over there?” I keep my tone calm, but I’m struggling to breathe through it.
Bennett looks at me strangely. “Yeah, let’s.” He waves me off. “I’m just going to roll with this.”
The early-morning car ride to the hospital is smooth sailing, with soft music and calm breathing, except for the one contraction at a red light where I nearly ripped Bennett’s arm off because they’re getting stronger.
Arriving at the hospital and it seems to be a slow day, as not many people are around, and registering at the desk is a breeze. Before we enter our room for this adventure, I stop and turn to Bennett and grab his hand. He has bags hanging off his shoulders and the car seat hanging from his other hand.
“Remember what I said, okay? I will do everything in my power, but in the end, he will come into the world the way he needs to. Don’t freak out, we’ve got this.”
He flashes me a look of confidence mixed with nerves. “I’m ready, super Bennett at your service today.”
A smile breaks out on my lips. “Good. Let’s go meet our son.”
We enter the room, and the nurse begins to turn on machines as I look around.
“Can we dim the lights? I kind of want to create a sort of atmosphere,” I inquire to the nurse in scrubs, and Bennett knows that’s his cue to open the bag with everything I want for today. My journal, essential oils, my headphones for music, snacks… the list goes on.
I scan the room and spot the giant ball and locate where the shower is. Taking my coat off, the moment it hits the chair, another contraction overpowers me with force, and it feels like it is ripping through my spine, just as I swear I hear a popping of a balloon in my ears and feel the gush of water soaking through my leggings under my dress, forming a puddle at my feet.
Humming out my pain, the nurse and Bennett come to hold my arms for support, as I’m standing. Truthfully, the epidural is looking like a mighty fine option right now.
“Doing great, babe,” Bennett praises me, and I nod, my lips pursing out in a breath.
When the wave leaves me, I know I have only a few minutes before it comes back. “Maybe I shower again to help with the pain? I feel like I need to push or go to the bathroom, I don’t know. It’s getting more intense.”
The friendly nurse smiles at me. “Why don’t you wait on the shower, honey, until we check your vitals and the doctor comes to check on you. Should be only a few minutes,” she requests.
“Makes sense,” I say.
Bennett guides me to the bed, but I don’t lie down.
“Relationship test coming,” I warn him.
“Ready.”
“I’m covered in bodily fluids. Help me peel off everything from the waist down.”
He chortles at my request. “I’m a pro at that.”
Two minutes later, I’m naked from the waist down, but luckily have on a mid-thigh cotton dress, and I’m pacing a few steps, and Bennett is sitting on a chair in the corner. We both perk our heads up in attention as we hear the nurse and doctor come in.
Dr. Reynolds smiles at us. “Good morning, seems today is the day baby wants to come. Since it’s your first then it could be a while, so get comfortable. Let’s check everything—”
I cripple over in pain and take hold of the edge of the bed. “I really feel like I need to push, I can’t—ohhhh.”
My entire body feels like an exorcism is happening to me. I’m not sure I’m even in my body.
“I see a head,” the nurse calls out, crouched on the floor.
It’s then a blur what the hell exactly happens, but people are around me as I reach down, and the nurse helps me catch and pull out a baby boy in one swift movement. And the next thing I hear are the most beautiful screams of a baby, and looking down, I see the small naked bundle in our hands.
By the time they help me back onto the bed and lay him on my chest, I still can’t process.
Bennett is quickly by my side in awe as he looks down at the baby that somehow appeared from thin air.
“What just happened?” I breathe out, as my body is warm and I feel completely drained.
The doctor laughs. “You just had a baby.”
“Wait, we’re done already?” I question in confusion.
Bennett leans down and kisses my head. “You are amazing.”
Both our eyes fill with tears for so many different reasons, but looking down, and our son is the main purpose.
Blinking my eyes open, I wake from a sleep that didn’t feel deep. I’m aware that I’m not alone. Glancing to my side, I see the best view possible.
Bennett holding our baby in a tightly wrapped blue blanket.
“Hey there.” Bennett looks up at me but then returns his gaze to our son.
“Have I been sleeping long?” I attempt to sit up and admittedly feel a little sore from a few stitches and pushing out a nine-pound baby.
“An hour tops. You deserved it.”
Is Bennett cooing to the baby? Is he playing with the tiny little hands not even the size of his pinky? Fuck, is this dad Bennett? Absolutely smoldering to my eyes.
Everyone is healthy as can be, so all day we’ve been mixing sleep with staring at our little creation.
My hands reach out, as I want to hold our son, but a shiny rock on my finger catches me off guard.
“Uh, what is this?” I hold my hand up and see that my ring finger has some new sparkle on it.
Bennett hands me our son who instantly causes me to smile so much that it hurts, and his father’s grin tells me that he knows that, with a baby in my arms, I can’t debate what he is about to say.
Coming to sit on the mattress next to us, Bennett flashes his charming eyes in my direction. “I’m completing the picture, with a push present and an item on my list all in one.”
“Still going on about the marriage thing?”
“I figured that if the ring is already on your finger you can’t say no.” His knuckle comes to stroke our son’s pudgy cheek.
I give Bennett an impressed look. “Gutsy move, Blisswood.”
“You can think about it, and when you’re ready to answer one day, then we are already a step ahead.”
Raising a brow, I address the obvious point. “I think naming this little handsome dude is a more pressing matter at this moment.” I don’t recognize the sound of my voice; where the hell did this cute fluffy tone come from?
“I don’t even know how to sugar coat it, but it was an out-of-this-world experience, and you rock,” he states, and I couldn’t agree more.
My eyes meet Bennett’s, and my heart feels extra sensitive in this moment. “Good things do happen, Bennett, and sometimes the bad things lead to something more.” We both glance to our son before our eyes catch one another’s again. “I know what to name him.” Why I didn’t think of it sooner, I don’t know, but now it seems fitting. “We should name him after your father.”
Bennett’s eyes go wide and his mouth parts open. “Jack?”
“Jack Junior or J.J.” I smile because he looks like a J.J., and I feel like this kid is going to be full of mischief and hugs.
Bennett plants a kiss on my forehead with warm lips. “J.J. Blisswood. Are you sure?”
“Yeah, isn’t that how this all started? I brought you a casserole in mourning?”
“I like it.”
“Settled,” I proudly announce.
“Would be even better if you share our last name,” he cheekily throws in.
I smirk at his response. “Ask me again when I’m restocked on fuel and the adrenaline wears off. Now pass me a granola bar.”