I was really getting sick of Chase’s cockblocking ways. And the kicker was he didn’t even know he was doing it.
When we got back to the hotel last night, Chase had been waiting for the elevator on our floor when we arrived. Thank god I hadn’t been caught feeling Ella up in the elevator.
But instead of getting to know each other more in my suite, we’d ended up going in an awkward party of three to hunt for food at midnight because Chase had been sick of room service.
So it was safe to say that I was annoyed as we sat in the limo on our way to the venue for our last Vegas show. Tonight we’d be on the road to Phoenix where Shay would be available to distract Chase and keep him from cockblocking me again. Hopefully.
My phone rang in my pocket. I grumbled to myself, annoyed, because I’d thought I’d shut it down after I’d texted Harper about getting a new number. I cursed again as I read the caller ID label.
Mom
Should I reject her call? Fuck it. I was already in a bad mood. She couldn’t make it any worse.
“Hey, Ma. Can you make it quick? We’re pulling up to the venue.”
The guys gave me sideways looks since we were nowhere near the venue, but she didn’t need to know that. I wanted to get this over with as soon as possible.
“Nice to talk to you, too, Jesse. Did you get my texts?”
“I haven’t had time to read them, no. And I’m getting a new number today hopefully, so would you just give me the CliffNotes version?”
Her huff of annoyance matched my mental one. “I’m getting married. Barrett proposed a few days ago, and I said yes.”
Great. That would make him stepdad number…shit, I couldn’t keep track. I wanted to say five?
“Congrats,” I replied flatly.
Mom huffed again. “I thought you’d be more excited. I remember how much you liked Barrett.”
Meaning she’d gotten back together with one of the losers she’d shaken off? What the hell was she thinking? “Which ex-husband is he again? Honestly, I’ve lost track.”
The words flew out of my mouth without a thought. But judging by the winces Noah and Chase made, they were a mistake.
“Seriously, Jesse? That’s the attitude you’re going to take? I thought you’d at least pretend to be happy for me.”
I closed my eyes and banged my head against the regretfully soft headrest. “What do you want me to say, Mom? Just tell me, and I’ll regurgitate it back to you. I’m biting my tongue as it is. I can guarantee that you don’t want me to let my real feelings fly.”
“Whatever. It’s fine. I thought you’d be happy for me. I thought you’d want to reconnect with Barrett again. I thought you’d want to be there when we got married. But now I know better. You’re just as selfish as your father was. Thank god that asshole is out of our lives forever. It’s just too bad you’ve decided to do your best impersonation of him.”
“That’s me—a wife-beating asshole. Nice talking to you, Ma. Can’t wait for you to call again.” But I was talking to dead air.
With a flick of my wrist, I sent my phone flying across the limo. It landed on the floor near Noah’s feet.
The silence in the car was deafening.
I couldn’t look at any of the guys. I wanted to do something to release all this pent-up rage. My muscles twitched in frustration.
“So I’m guessing Tracy is getting married again?” Noah drawled as he picked up my phone.
“Really, asshole? What was your first clue? The fact that her last divorce went through six months ago? Honestly, she’s behind schedule. Usually she has the new one lined up before the papers are signed. A few times the new ones were the reason for the papers.”
Silence met my bitterness. I watched the guys exchange sidelong looks like I was a rabid wolf no one wanted to approach. Fuck.
I closed my eyes and cursed my stupid little vow to cut back on drinking. If there was any time to get blind drunk and lose myself, it was tonight.
Fuck it. Chase was on his own bus. He wouldn’t even notice, and I needed the oblivion. It was such a kick to the nuts that I had to wait until after the concert.
I just wanted this day to be over.
Everyone gave me a wide berth the rest of the night. But I showed up. I did my job. I faked it for the fans even though the whole time I was stewing over my mom’s bullshit.
I hated how she always did this. Always. And then to compare me to my sperm donor?
Fuck it. I just needed a day, and then I’d be over it. But for the record, this was why I usually didn’t answer her phone calls. It was always endless drama with her, and I was done. Husband number five slash three was the final nail in the coffin, or maybe it was that dig about him. Either way, I’d keep sending her money, but I was done letting her fuck with my head.
I signed a few autographs in the parking lot on my way to the bus. Ignoring all the chicks with their teased hair and low-cut tops, I tried to concentrate on the few kids scattered through the crowd. But that didn’t discourage the most conniving groupies.
One woman stepped in front of a little girl just as I was approaching her. “You didn’t take your shirt off tonight. Do you need some help?”
Another woman chimed in. “I’ve been told I’m especially helpful when it comes to disrobing. Maybe both of us can help you.”
I didn’t have the mental capacity to handle their bullshit right now. Hell, maybe ever.
“Can you get out of the way? I was just going to sign her shirt.”
“Mine?” The busty blonde pushed her chest out and batted her ridiculously exaggerated eyelashes at me. Seriously, there was no way those things were real. Either set.
“No. The little girl you stepped in front of.” I leaned past her. “What’s your name, darlin’?
“Tinsley,” the preteen girl chirped. Her mom beamed as she looked between me and her daughter.
“You want me to sign that for you?” I asked, pointing to the concert shirt in her hands.
“Oh! Yes, please.” Her cheeks turned red.
A chuckle rumbled in my chest as I pulled the shirt from her grasp. Stretching it out in my palm. I signed my name. “What’s your favorite Tin Gods song?”
“’Can’t Tell Her.’”
“Ah, you’re a Chase Robinson fan, huh? Where is he?” I looked around and spotted my friend trailing a little ways behind me, working the crowd. “Chase! Get over here!”
“Oh my god. Oh my god! Mom! Look! Oh my god!” Tinsley was legit having a panic attack as she held her hands over her mouth, squealing.
“What’s up?” Chase asked as he stopped next to me.
“Tinsley here loves all those ballads you got us to put on our latest album. Especially ‘Can’t Tell Her.’” I nodded to the girl in front of us.
“That hers?” Chase asked, tipping his head toward the shirt in my hands.
“Yup.”
“Awesome. Hand it over.” Chase grabbed the shirt and scrawled his signature on it.
“Thank you so much. You don’t know how much this means to her.” The mom smiled at us while Tinsley was now shaking, her hands still over her mouth.
“How about a picture?” Ella popped up behind her brother, camera in hand.
“Oh my god! Really?” Tinsley squealed.
I got a security guard’s attention and pointed at Tinsley. “We need her out for a picture.”
I didn’t lean over the railing separating us from the fans anymore. We learned that lesson in Spain. Fans’ loving attention could turn scary and dangerous quickly.
Security pulled Tinsley and her mom out of the crowd, and we assembled for the picture.
“Mom, you get in there too,” Ella called to Tinsley’s mom who stood off to the side.
“Yeah, come on, Mom!” Tinsley called, grinning ear to ear as she stood between me and Chase.
“Hey, can anyone get in on this?” Noah called from behind us.
“Oh my god!” Tinsley squealed.
We all laughed and took a few pictures. Then Ella pulled Tinsley’s mom aside, probably to get her info.
I waved at Tinsley and headed for the bus. My heart was lighter than it had been before, but the darkness wasn’t gone.
“Hey, Jesse!” Chase called. “Wait up.”
I cursed under my breath. All I wanted to do was hole up in the back room of the bus with a bottle of whiskey—actually make that tequila—and forget about this whole fucking nightmare of a day.
But it was Chase, so I turned around and waited next to the bus with my arms crossed over my chest.
“Hey, you doing okay, man? Anything you want to talk about?”
“Nope.”
Chase tilted his head and gave me one of those bullshit eyebrow raises. I stoically stared back.
He waited a few beats then sighed. “Fine. You sure you want to ride with the guys? I don’t have extra beds, but you can have the sofa to yourself, and I promise I’ll leave you alone.”
My shoulders slumped. “Nah, I’m just gonna hole up in the back room, and if the guys bug me, I’ll head to my bunk. I just want to be alone right now, ya know?”
“Yeah. If you need anything…”
A muscle in my face spasmed. It wasn’t a smile, but it was the closest I’d been to one all night. “Thanks, bro. I appreciate it.”
Chase gave me a chin jerk. “Anytime.”
I turned and headed into the bus.
Unfortunately for me, Xander and Noah had beaten me there. And they weren’t alone.
I eyeballed the four girls bouncing around the bus. Fucking perfect. “Nice to see that the whole no tail on the bus rule lasted for one whole stop.”
“Oh shit.” Noah groaned. “I forgot about that.”
Xander raised his palms. “Don’t look at me. Noah invited them.”
Considering one of the girls was sitting in his lap, Xander was full of shit.
Grabbing a bottle of Don Julio off the counter, I turned and headed for the back. “I’m gonna fuck up anyone who dares to come in here. FYI, that’s not an invitation to fuck. Stay the hell out!”
I slammed the door behind me.
Flopping down on the couch, I ripped the cork out of the bottle and took a few pulls. The tequila burned in that way I’d missed, but it also didn’t do anything to muffle the voices in my head. Or the annoying ones out there.
I heard squealing and laughter from the women. And I couldn’t make out the words, but Noah’s rumbly voice was distinct and fucking annoying.
Grabbing the remote for the stereo, I hit a few buttons and classic rock rolled through the small room. It almost obliterated the insanity, but not even the Boss could camouflage the endless loop that was my mom’s disappointed voice.
“Just like your father.”
“Too bad you’ve decided to do your best impersonation of him.”
How could she ever compare me to him? I might’ve only been nine when we left him, but dear ol’ Dad had left a lasting impression. Mom had been the target of most of his rage, but that didn’t mean he’d never come for me.
My finger unconsciously rubbed the scar bisecting my left eyebrow.
Nah, she was wrong. I was nothing like that asshole.
I took another pull of tequila.
My mouth felt raw from the combination of me chewing on the inside of my lip and the scorching burn of the tequila. So I knew this wasn’t a dream. She’d really said that to me.
Had it been so long that she forgot what’d happened that last night? Did she think I didn’t remember what that asshole had done to both of us? Or did she really think that about me?
I took another pull of Don Julio and let my head fall back against the couch.
I thought shit was supposed to get easier when I got rich. But somehow none of my problems had changed. My mom was still endlessly searching for love in all the wrong places and for some reason, I still gave a shit.
I took another pull of tequila and listened to Johnny Cash sing ‘Hurt.’