It’d been one of the longest nights on the tour so far. The backstage gladhanding took forever. The impromptu party Noah and Xander had arranged in the greenroom had just gone on and on. I mean, I got it—we had one of our shorter overnight drives to the next city—so they weren’t in a hurry. But I was exhausted and really wanted a cigarette. Nicotine gum just wasn’t cutting it on a night like this. All I wanted to do was smoke a cig and then roll into Ella’s bunk and hold her in my arms.
And of course the party didn’t end in the greenroom. Those fuckers brought like fifteen people—mostly women—onto the bus.
So it was almost 4 AM by the time I was able to escape into Ella’s bunk. I rolled into her bunk, pulled her into my arms, and was out like a light while an orgy raged on around us. She didn’t even flinch. Which we would be having a conversation about later. That shit so wasn’t safe. I was definitely on Team Chase when it came to strangers on the bus. Ella’s safety was so much more important than the guys’ sex lives.
Then I was out and snoring logs alongside my cute, drooling girl.
The next thing I knew, it was brighter in the bunk and something warm and wet was surrounding my dick.
Heaven. This had to be heaven.
A quick look down told me I was right. Ella was between my legs, sucking away at my dick. My head fell back against the pillow with a soft groan. Christ, that girl knew just how to wake me up right. She sucked and licked and squeezed my dick with her hands until I was just about ready to blow.
And then she wiggled her way back up my body with a naughty little grin.
“So, I took a quick peek around, and we’re the only ones on the bus. Everyone else—including Dallas— got off twenty minutes ago. I told him I’d wake you up, and we’d be along in a few minutes. So if you want…”
She didn’t need to draw me a picture.
I grabbed her hand, pulled her out of the bunk, and my eyes darted around the space. Chaos littered every available surface. I didn’t even want to think what’d happened last night. I knew more than most what the guys had been up to last night. And it was nothing I wanted Ella near. Christ.
So I did the only thing I could do. I pushed her back against the cabinets and dropped to my knees in front of her. In seconds, her fingers were laced in my hair as I lapped at my very favorite breakfast treat.
Ella moaned and held onto me. After the last few weeks together, I knew exactly what she liked. It took me only a few minutes to have her shaking and clutching my fingers with her wet cunt.
Leaving her leaning weakly against the cabinets, I hustled back to my bunk and grabbed a strip of condoms. I tore one off and had it on my dick in seconds.
Back in the tiny kitchen area, Ella reclined against the cabinets and watched me walk toward her with a predatory smile.
“Can I just tell you how freaking hot you look? All sculpted muscles and tats and holy shit, I forgot how big your dick is. Seriously. That thing should be registered as a lethal weapon or something.”
I laughed. “You’re kinda crazy. Do you know that?”
“Your dick bobs when you laugh.” Ella smiled up at me as I wrapped my arms around her. “Did you know that?”
I battled between the urge to smile at her and wanting to kiss her at the same time. All these feelings bubbled up inside me. I wanted to tell her how much she meant to me. How I thought about her all the fucking time. How for the first time in forever, I felt like I had someone who got me. And how much that meant to me. How I wanted her to have every fucking thing she wanted. Everything she needed. But I couldn’t seem to get the words from my brain to my mouth.
So I did the only thing I could. I leaned down and kissed her. I kissed her until I couldn’t remember where we were or why we should maybe hurry. I kissed her until I couldn’t remember anything aside from how much I wanted to be inside her.
Ella arched against me and groaned. “Please, Jesse. It’s been so freaking long. I need you.”
“I’ll give you anything you need, sweet girl.” I lined up my dick and slowly pushed inside her.
Ella’s head fell back as she moaned. “Holy shit. Your dick is too big.”
“We’re gonna go at your pace, sweetness. We’ve got all day.” Then I bent to her and kissed her slowly and thoroughly.
“…be asleep. I talked to Ella, and she said she was going to get Jesse.” Dallas’ voice sounded far away and the implication didn’t really register in my brain. “But I still locked them in since it’s New York. Can’t be too careful, you know? Oh shit.”
“Son of a bitch!” Chase yelled.
Ella shrieked, and I spun around to block her body from our intruders.
Make that Dallas and Chase.
Shit.
“Right.” Dallas’ eyes darted from me to Ella behind me, then he stared at the carpet. “I’m gonna just gonna, I’ll be…yeah.” He slipped past Chase and was gone.
“You son of a bitch!” Chase flew across the bus and slammed his fist into my face.
Then we went down in a tangle of arms and legs and flying fists.
“I told you watch over her, not put your dick in her!”
Punch.
Elbow.
Knee.
“Chase! Stop!” Ella hollered above us. “What the hell is wrong with you!”
I was just glad she was up there and not caught in the scrum.
I got in a few good swings of my own. “She’s a fucking adult.”
Uppercut.
Jab.
And then, for the second time in as many weeks, water poured down on me in the middle of a fight.
Blinking up blearily, I found Ella sprawled on the counter—her pajamas back to covering her body—with the kitchen faucet hose in her hands.
“What the hell, El? Again?” Chase wiped at his face then glared up at his sister.
“You act like an ass, you get treated like an ass.” She glared back at her brother. “Now if the two of you are done, I’d like to go check into the hotel with my boyfriend.”
Chase’s glare turned glacial. “Boyfriend? Are you fucking kidding me? He sees you as nothing more than a piece of ass. I thought you were smarter than this. I’m so fucking disappointed in you, Ella.”
“Hey, you’re out of line.” I rolled to my knees and scowled at my former best friend. “You’re not gonna talk to my fucking woman like that. She’s a grown ass adult. And you need to start treating her like one.”
Chase’s eyes flicked to me and away, back to Ella. “I can’t even fucking look at you, Jesse. Cover your goddamn dick, for Christ’s sake.”
“We’re not twelve. Grow the fuck up.”
“Exactly. I can’t believe you were fucking my sister. My sister! What the fuck is wrong with you? I always knew you were an asshole. I just can’t believe you’re this big of an asshole.”
“I’m not the asshole here. You walked in on an intimate moment between me and my girl.” I jabbed my finger in his direction with every point I nailed him with. “You’re the one who started swinging. You’re the asshole.”
Chase raised his eyebrows. “Well, I can see your asshole, so how about you do all of us a favor and put some fucking pants on?”
Shaking my head, I stood and grabbed my pants out of Ella’s bunk. Waving my dick around Chase wasn’t exactly helping my case. Plus, there was something distinctly vulnerable about having your balls out around someone who was pissed off with you. The whole time I could hear Ella arguing with her brother.
“Don’t even start with me, Chase. After everything you’ve said and done on this tour, I don’t care what you think anymore.”
“How do you expect me to take you seriously when you do shit like this? I mean, it’s Jesse, Ella. You know he doesn’t date. He doesn’t do serious. He’s the fucking poster boy for a rock star fuck boy.”
“You mean like you were before Shay? Like how you slept with all of my friends in high school and after? How are you any different, Chase?”
“Because I am! I’m married now. I’m happy. I’m fucking monogamous. Shay is it for me. Can you seriously say the same for Jesse?”
“Isn’t that for us to decide?” I asked as I came down the aisle away from the bunks.
Chase’s top lip curled. “If anything, this has just proven how Ella still makes poor decisions.”
“So wait.” Ella waved a hand from her spot on the counter still. “He’s good enough to be your best friend, to be in your band, but he’s not good enough to be my boyfriend?”
“Exactly. You said it.” Chase stared contemptuously at me. “And for the record, you’re the one throwing that boyfriend label around here, Ella. Jesse hasn’t said it once.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” I laughed incredulously. “I called her my woman when you came in here. I’m defending her fucking honor against your assholerly. Ella is my girlfriend. I gave up cigarettes for her. I’m in this. One hundred percent. We’re together. She’s mine and I’m hers. Does that help you any? Can we please be together, Daddy?”
“Oh fuck that!” Ella yelled before Chase had a chance to say another asshole, condescending thing. She hopped off the counter and crossed the bus to stand at my side. “I don’t give a shit what you think, Chase. I pick him. I choose Jesse. Get over it. You don’t get a fucking vote.”
A muscle flexed in Chase’s jaw, and I could all but hear him grinding his teeth. “You’re making a mistake. He’s going to fuck up. He’s going to make you cry, and then you’ll come running to me to pick up the pieces. Like always.”
“Right.” Ella shook her head sadly. “’Like always,’ because I’m a fuckup. Nice to know everything you’ve said since Phoenix has been just placating bullshit. Fuck you, Chase. Fuck. You.”
My shoulders sagged. I knew this wasn’t going to go over well with her brother, but I hated that it was coming between them.
That I was standing between them.
Chase’s eyes swung to me, and he confirmed all my fears.
“You’re fucking dead to me. This—all this—is on you. Your decisions. You fucked up my family. You fucked up the band. There’s no coming back from this. You’re dead. To. Me.”
Then he turned and stomped to the bus’s doors.
“You’re wrong, Chase!” Ella hollered at his retreating back. “This is on you! This is all on you! So fuck you!”
I just stood there and stared blankly at the carpet. I’d known that my being with Ella wouldn’t go over well with Chase, but I never thought it’d be this bad.
I’d never seen Chase so pissed.
And he was right. I did that. This was on me.
All because of me.
“Don’t let him get into your head, Jesse. He’s wrong. You’re an awesome man, and he’ll come around once he gets used to seeing us together.” Ella’s arms came around me. “It’ll be okay. I promise.”
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered. “I can’t—I never thought… Fuck. Fuck!”
“Hey, hey. It’ll be okay. I meant every single word I said. I pick you. I choose you. You’re it for me. I love you, Jesse.”
“Christ.” I dropped my head and wrapped my arms around Ella. “Forgive me. Please.”
Ella went rigid in my arms.
Everything was so fucked up—my friendship with Chase, her relationship with her brother, the band, Xander and Noah would take sides. Nothing would ever be the same.
But there was no going back.
I kissed the top of her head. “I love you too.”