Sitting in the backseat of an SUV outside of my mom’s home, a sense of dread weighed down on me. This wasn’t going to be pretty. I could already hear the tears, sobs, and vows of never again. Unless she went the other route and blamed me. I could see either scenario happening. Neither would be fun.
But I had to do this.
It was clearly beyond time to do this.
“I’ll be quick, guys,” I called to the driver and security guard in the front seat. “No need to follow me in.”
That feeling of dread didn’t leave as I knocked on the door. If anything, it multiplied.
“Jesse! Oh, I wasn’t expecting you.” Mom looked flustered as she stood in the doorjamb. Her hair was rumpled, and it looked like she was still in her pajamas despite it being three in the afternoon.
“Yeah, well, this won’t take long. Then you can get back to…whatever you’re doing.”
“Um, okay.” She stepped back and gestured me inside.
It’d been a while since I’d been to her house. But I didn’t notice the furniture or paint choices she’d made as I stepped inside. It was the haphazard mess on literally every surface that grabbed my attention. Clothes, plates, trash, you name it littered tables, countertops, and even the sofa.
Mom might’ve been absent most of my childhood, but what I remembered the most about our apartment was how clean it always had to be. Something I think was a leftover from her marriage to dear ol’ dad. That man hated clutter and always used it as an excuse to beat on me or her.
“Everything okay, Mom?” The words fell out of my mouth without a thought. I wasn’t here for this. I didn’t know if I even cared if everything wasn’t okay.
“No, everything’s not okay! My whole life has imploded, and you’ve not once called me to check on me. Barrett is in jail. I have no one here to help me, and my own son can’t be bothered to even pick up his phone.”
“Kinda hard for me to do that, since the FBI is holding it as evidence.”
Mom turned around and narrowed her eyes at me. “Oh, here it comes. This is the part where you blame me for everything that’s gone wrong in your life, right? How it’s all my fault?”
“Are you shitting me? You do know that I’m the victim in this whole thing, right? Barrett—who you picked again by the way—was blackmailing me. With information you gave him access to.”
“It’s not my fault you left that disgusting video on your laptop. How was I supposed to know it was there?”
“You couldn’t have. But Barrett definitely shouldn’t have been looking into it either. You could’ve tried to protect me and my privacy just a little. You could’ve cared about the shit I’ve been going through. But you don’t. You only care about yourself.”
“Because I’m all alone. Who else is gonna give a shit?”
“I might have, Mom! I might’ve if you’d bothered to stick around when I was little. If you’d been there. Shown up to a baseball game or one of my concerts. But you didn’t. You couldn’t. It was always Derrick has the flu or John wants to go to Vegas. You never put me first, not once.”
“I did when I left your father! I put you first that time!”
“What about all the other times that came before that? When he was hitting me for not doing the dishes at six years old. Or after when I had a solo in marching band? Where were you then?”
She shook her head and refused to look at me. She clearly couldn’t admit she was wrong. Or see how much I’d needed her growing up. She’d been too busy trying to please her husbands or boyfriends.
She’d never given a single shit for me.
Even leaving my father had been more about her own survival than my own.
“I’m done, Mom. Done answering calls. Done sending money. Done supporting you and the deadbeats you let mooch off my largess. The gravy train is over.”
“But, you can’t—I don’t—what will I do?”
I shrugged. “Find a sugar daddy. Get a job. I don’t really give a shit. Tyler will be here in an hour with a moving company. They’re packing up anything that’s mine and hauling it away. I’m done giving you access to me and anything of mine.”
Tears welled in her eyes, but I could see through them and her act. She wouldn’t miss me. She’d only miss my money. “I can’t believe you’re doing this to me!”
I turned and headed for the door. “Tyler will have an ironclad NDA with a scheduled payout if you sign it. But believe me when I say you will not be invited to the wedding.”
Her eyes sparkled at the mention of potential money. “What wedding?”
I scoffed and headed out the door. The fact she hadn’t even bothered to ask me about Ella wasn’t surprising.
But I couldn’t lie, it did hurt just the tiniest amount.
I jumped into the SUV’s backseat and shut the door behind me. “Let’s roll, Walker.”
“Yes, sir.”
As we darted through traffic, I tried to leave the scene with my mom in the rearview. But it was easier said than done. That shit still burned. Why couldn’t she put me first? Even once? Clearly, if she hadn’t done it in thirty-six years, she was never gonna do it.
And I had to make peace with that.
As we turned into the parking lot for the Van Nuys Airport, the sight of my purple tipped blonde bombshell girlfriend pacing agitatedly had me grinning despite her obvious anxiety.
Fuck, I loved that girl.
When our SUV pulled up beside her, she swung around with wide eyes. And when I stepped out of the car, she jumped into my arms, wrapping her legs around my hips like she was never gonna let me go.
And I loved it. Her touch soothed my soul.
“Everything okay? How did it go?”
“About how I thought.” I groaned, burying my face in her sweet-smelling neck. “All my fault and none of hers.”
“I’m so sorry, Jesse.” Ella sighed as she untangled her legs from my torso, then she stood in front of me with her arms wrapped around my shoulders.
It pained me to lose that much of her contact, but I kept my arms around her too. I was never letting Ella go. “I’m not. Now I know. She’s never been there for me. Your mom has been more of a mom to me than my own. And she still is.”
“My mom is awesome.”
“She’ll be the one I dance with at our wedding. Your mom will be grandma to our kids. Not mine. I’m done with her bullshit.”
“Wedding? Kids? Do you know something I don’t?”
“I know I love you like hell, and all those things are definitely in our future, and I can’t fucking wait.”
“I love you too.”
And then I kissed her. Long and hard as all my tension and angst fell away.
I was exactly where I wanted to be.
With Ella.
“Hey! None of that now!” Chase hollered from the plane’s stairs. “And you definitely can’t be doing that shit around me.”
I rested my head against Ella’s with a groan. “Remind me again why we’re spending our break at a private resort with your dumbass brother?”
“Because he’s your best friend, and his wife is my best friend. And given there’s only so much sex you can have in a day, it’ll be nice to have some people around for conversations and things.”
“Conversations and things are overrated.” I grinned down at her. “And I think you’re way underestimating the amount of sex we can have in a day.”
“Promises, promises.” Ella danced away from me and ran to the private jet’s staircase where her brother was currently scowling at me.
My family.
Although if he was going to do that every time I kissed his sister, this was going to be a long three weeks.
I couldn’t fucking wait.