Flashing my media/all-access pass at security, I double checked my ear plugs as the roar of the crowd fell over me.
Standing at the bottom of the stage with the rail and security behind me, I relished my new vantage point. Pulling out my camera, I took a few pictures of Exempty to get a feel of the atmosphere. The stadium was alive and pulsing. My fingers itched to capture it all.
I switched between cameras, making sure I could see the guys on the ego risers as well as the drummer behind his kit. The stage would change a little, but not drastically between acts.
Pleased with my scouting, I tried to enjoy the rest of Exempty’s set. But the guys were missing lyrics, tripping over nothing, and I was pretty sure the drummer was hiding vomit behind his bass drum. They were an unmitigated mess. I hadn’t been a fan before, and I sure as hell wasn’t one now.
I’d be surprised if they made the trip to Vegas with us in two days.
After their attempt at a bow, Exempty left the stage, and the roadies came out to clear the stage. They efficiently broke down the equipment and a crew hosed down the mess left behind. Towels were brought out to dry the floor before Noah’s kit was assembled. The whole process was done in less than five minutes.
Then all the lights went out.
The audience roared their approval. The roar died down. A few people hooted. Some laughed nervously. Anticipation hummed through the whole stadium.
Then came the driving chords of ‘Nowhere to Hide.’
I lifted my camera and tried to capture as much of the excitement as I could.
Spotlights lit up Noah behind his drumkit. His dark stubble shone in the lights as he slammed his sticks down on the drums with power.
Lights appeared over Jesse on the left side of the stage. I couldn’t deny that my heart might’ve skipped a beat. Despite all this time and exposure to his questionable charms, my body couldn’t deny his magnetism. His fingers raced up and down the neck of his bass guitar, and other parts of my body fluttered. I swayed with a stupid grin on my face. I had to take a breath and shake my head to get back on task. I was supposed to be taking pictures, not fawning over my lifelong crush.
Lights lit up Xander at the front of the stage.
Women screamed behind me.
“I LOVE YOU, XANDER!”
“I WANNA FUCK YOU!”
“I’LL HAVE YOUR BABIES!”
I snorted with laughter. If those women could see the way Xander drooled in his sleep… Nah, they’d still scream that stuff.
Just as Chase started to sing the opening line, spotlights lit him up. He stood at the very front of the stage, hands around the microphone, singing his heart out. My heart swelled with so much love for my brother. Despite our tussling and arguing, I was so freaking proud of him.
Then I snapped back into the present and got to work.
Switching between cameras, I tried to capture everything. How Jesse and Xander stood back-to-back on the ego risers during their duel. The intensity Noah used through his drum solo. The way Chase sung to the enraptured crowd.
But every time I let my mind wander, my camera would wander over the stage to Jesse. Something about his absolute concentration and devotion to his job made me tingle. Like maybe he’d be the same way in bed. Or up against the wall outside. His hard body pressing me into the brick at my back—
“I think some of you heard I got married a few months back,” Chase’s mellow voice broke through my very dirty mental fantasy like a slap to the face. Brothers were good at that kinda thing.
The crowd roared. A few women booed. I rolled my eyes.
“Well, my wonderful wife is kinda responsible for our latest album. When I saw her in Vegas, I swear to god, I heard this melody.” The rest of the guys had started to play the opening of ‘Can’t Tell Her’ while Chase spoke. “And I want to sing it to her in my hometown. I can’t think of anyone else I’d rather share this moment with than the awesome people of Los Angeles who’ve embraced our love story so much. So can you all help encourage her to come on out here?”
The crowd roared again while tears burned at the backs of my eyes. Gah, I loved their love.
The rest of the guys continued to play while Chase waved frantically at the side of the stage. “She’s a little shy,” Chase murmured into his mic.
“SHAY! SHAY! SHAY!” the crowd chanted.
I panned my camera across the stadium, capturing the moment.
Finally, after what felt like minutes, Shay cautiously walked across the stage. Her face might’ve been flaming red, but her grin and the love in her eyes said everything.
Chase grabbed her hand and said something to her that the mic didn’t pick up. Shay rolled her eyes and let him lead her to the stool in the middle of the stage.
The band effortlessly flowed into the first verse, and Chase held Shay’s hand as he sang to her.
Can’t let her slip through my fingers
Can’t tell her, can’t let her know
Even while the taste of her lingers
Scared of how this’ll go
Tears flowed unashamedly down my cheeks. Afraid my wheezy breathing was audible, I switched from my GoPro to my Alpha 7. Chase would want some stills from this to blow up in his office anyhow.
At the end of the song, Chase kissed his wife, then swept her off the stool, and kissed her again while dipping her deep. I snapped every moment I could, grinning the whole time. After saying something to her off mic, Chase let Shay go.
Shay gave an adorably awkward wave to the audience then turned to head offstage. She got two steps away before Chase smacked her ass. Shay spun around and pointed a finger in his face. The audience howled louder.
“My wonderful wife!” Chase crowed to the audience who roared their approval.
Chase segued seamlessly into the next song and the concert blurred by again. Before I knew it, Chase was telling the audience, “Thank you, LA! We’ve had a blast. Goodnight!”
The whole band waved and walked off the stage.
The audience’s roar never wavered. They stamped their feet, screamed their heads off, and clapped so loud the stadium probably registered as an earthquake.
Not even two minutes passed before the guys ran back onto the stage for their encore. The opening chords of ‘Torn Up Heart’ ripped through the arena and fireworks exploded in the air.
I jumped and placed a hand over my heart to calm my racing pulse. But I couldn’t waste any time. I had to get back to work. I tried to capture the magic on the stage. Chase’s soulfulness. Xander’s passion. Jesse’s flow. Noah’s intensity. So much was happening on the stage. It was impossible to record it all.
“Thank you for worshipping with the Tin Gods tonight, LA! We love you!” Xander shouted, tossing his pick into the crowd.
Jesse’s pick flew through the air before he walked off the stage.
Noah stood behind his kit and flipped his sticks into the pit then followed Jesse.
“Goodnight, LA!” Chase shouted as he put an arm around Xander’s shoulders at the front of the stage.
The lights went out and a few more fireworks lit up the opposite end of the stage. The loud booms cracked through the stadium while the audience cheered.
Then all the lights flooded the arena as some elevator house music played through the speakers, signaling the end of the concert.
People flowed to the exits en masse, laughing and chattering about the concert.
“So how’d it go?” Suddenly Kiefer was standing at my side.
I blinked and shook my head. I’d almost forgot about this asshole. “Good, thanks.”
“I loved that bit with your brother and his wife. People are going to eat that up on social media. You might want to get your post on it out there before all the fans steal the moment.”
I wasn’t going to pretend that I knew everything about my job, but unsolicited advice was always fun. My smile probably looked as brittle as it felt. “Thanks for the tip. Well, I should probably get some shots of backstage. I guess I’ll see ya around.”
“Sure. And feel free to email me any questions you have on aperture, metering, or even about handling the band. They can be tough to work with on an average day.”
“Right.” I gave him my best fake smile, then slipped away to the backstage area. When I was a safe distance away, I muttered, “Ass,” under my breath.
His offer of help with my photos felt like a punch to the gut. Like he wanted me to know that he knew I wasn’t qualified for this job. I didn’t have the resume that he did. I hadn’t worked with countless bands. I’d only gotten this job because of my brother.
And don’t even get me started with his jab about dealing with the band. I’d known these guys longer than Kiefer. Hell, I knew most of them better than their own parents. Most of them had slept on my couch in high school. And they were still hanging around like annoying older brothers.
Help. Ha.
Ten feet later, I had to eat my mental pep talk. I entered the greenroom and a very different kind of chaos greeted me. Noah jumped on the only comfy sofa in the room, yelling something about purple unicorns. Xander stood in the far corner talking to fricking movie stars. I had no idea the Grier brothers were Tin Gods fans. I wanted to talk to them or at least take a few pictures, but my eyes couldn’t move away from the scene in the opposite corner. Jesse and Rowan were standing too close and talking so intently to each other. Like lovers.
It felt like another punch to my gut. Out of all the women here, he had to pick her? She’d been a bitch to me from the jump.
Jesse said something to her, and she threw her head back with a laugh.
Ugh.
My gaze bounced around the room, looking for something, anything else to focus on. A little hug from my posse would be awesome right now.
This was the part that I honestly hated. All the fakeness, ass-kissing, and women trying to sleep with my brother. Because despite his very public declaration of love, more than one woman was glued to his side, pressing their boobs into his side, flirting like crazy.
“Bleh, you want to go hang out in the private greenroom?” Shay groaned. “I can’t watch this.”
I jumped. I had no idea she was even next to me, let alone watching that ugly scene. “Yeah, sure. You know it doesn’t mean anything, right? It’s all just part of the job.”
The words felt dirty leaving my lips, but I knew they were true. And I wanted Chase and Shay to make it. They were an amazing couple and deserved happiness, especially Shay. She was awesome. And I knew my brother was stupid in love with her. He wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize that…again.
I followed Shay back to the band’s tiny, private greenroom. Shay stood next to the door and slammed it shut behind me. I winced. I guess I didn’t need to ask how she was feeling.
“I know, I know, it’s all part of the deal.” Shay moaned as she collapsed onto a questionable pleather sofa. “I just don’t like it. I don’t want to watch my husband take photo after photo with women who are all prettier than me, who are all throwing themselves at him. It screws with my head, ya know?”
“I know. And it’s not like you guys have the best history with that. But Chase has changed. He’s done the work. And he loves you so freaking much.”
Shay smiled softly. “Thanks. That does help.” Then she covered her face with her hands and gave a muffled scream. “I can’t stop thinking about it. Tell me something to keep my mind off of that. What’s going on with you? How do you feel about going on the road with the guys in a few days?”
“I mean, I think it’ll be an adventure. I don’t know whose bus I’ll be on yet, but there are already a few people I definitely don’t want to be stuck in a tiny tour bus with.” I quickly fill Shay in on my run-ins with Rowan and Kiefer and how awesome Harper is. “But she doesn’t travel on the buses. Knowing my luck, I’ll have Rowan for a bunk mate. Fuck my life.”
“Are there any guys you have your eye on?” Shay teased with a grin. “All those hours on tour, hanging out backstage, down time between shows… Is there anyone you could maybe see yourself…you know?”
Shay had been raised in such a religious house that—despite being married to a rock star now—she couldn’t even say the dirty words out loud.
I laughed. “Screwing? Boinking? Fucking?”
“Yes, that.” She rolled her eyes.
“Maybe.” My mind went to Jesse and his undeniable magnetism. If only.
“What put that look on your face?” Shay squealed. “Who are you thinking about right now?”
“Yeah, I’m not telling you that.”
“Please! Let an old married woman live vicariously through you. Tell me!”
“No, but have you met Wes yet? Talk about forbidden, hot—”
The door on the other side of the room ripped open, and my brother stood in the threshold. “Who’s hot?”
“You are!” Shay shrieked as she jumped up and ran across the room to him. They did that whole legs wrapped around hips thing as Chase held Shay. And they kissed. Long and hard. Tongues and all.
Awkward.
“Guys! Please!” I groaned. “No one wants to see this. Especially me.”
“Christ, do it in a dark corner like a normal couple.” Jesse grumbled as he stood behind them. “Or at least out of the doorway. Some of us want to grab our shit and get going.”
Chase broke the kiss with his wife and turned to confront his friend. “What? No afterparty for you? Since when?”
Jesse stepped into the room, pulling a very well-endowed brunette in his wake. My heart plummeted. It felt like a slap in the face, but really, it was just a reminder of who I was and who Jesse was.
And how the two of us would never be.
Still, I had to look away. I took a tiny bit of solace that at least it wasn’t Rowan.
“Oh there’s going to be an afterparty. Right, darlin’?” Jesse drawled suggestively before apparently spotting me. He cleared his throat and continued in his normal voice, “Hey, bug.”
Right. Bug. Because that was what I was. What I’d always been. The annoying little sister tagging along and bugging her older brother and his cool friend. A bug.
Tears burned my eyes, but I’d be damned if I let them fall. “Hey.”
I wasn’t going to look up at him. I was going to stay strong, ignore him, and fight the pull I always felt to watch him.
I made it exactly three seconds.
Just in time to see him grab the sexy brunette’s ass as they left.