Chapter Fourteen

SYDNEY

After breakfast with Brian followed by an even yummier dose of morning sex, including him eating me out from behind then taking me hard and fast up against a wall, a rough fucking that ended in me leading in orgasms for the day 3–1, Brian dropped me off at Tori’s with two minutes to spare and a promise of later.

I loved his laters. I’d loved them when they’d consisted only of phone calls or texts, but now his laters were different.

Better.

Because they consisted of him.

And knowing I’d get Brian with that later had me in one of the best moods of my life, two hours into my shift and smiling so much the patrons were starting to give me odd looks because who smiled when they lagged on getting refills for a table?

This girl.

I couldn’t help it and I didn’t care.

I was over the moon happy and nothing, not one thing, was ruining that.

Plus, I had put the signed separation papers in the mail before I left Tori’s house so I wouldn’t forget to do it tomorrow. Another reason for my elation.

Bacon. Multiple orgasms. Sweet kisses and legally freeing myself from Marcus.

This day just kept getting better and better.

I was in the middle of explaining the reason for my elation to Stitch through the window that separated us, figuring he’d want to know why I’d been absent from work and the amazing coincidental sequence of events that followed, not that he’d asked, and I’d just gotten past the part where I’d overheard Brian talking to Cole about me on the beach when Shay came up beside me and nudged my hip.

“You have someone requesting you,” she said in my ear, then turned her head, looked at Stitch through the window, which he must’ve sensed because he chose that exact moment to finally look up after I’d been talking his ear off for the past ten minutes and he didn’t so much as lift his head once.

He locked his hard gaze onto hers with so much heat, I felt it on my skin.

Shay broke that connection immediately, saying nothing before she quickly cut her eyes away.

Apparently she was a little upset at him for bailing on their plans last night.

A harsh banging noise turned both Shay’s and my heads again.

Stitch stalked out of the kitchen with a cigarette tucked in his mouth, lighter poised at the ready, but waited until he’d kicked the back door open with his black boot and stepped outside before he lit up.

The door slammed shut behind him.

Apparently he was a little pissed at Shay for being upset with him.

Shay muttered something but I didn’t hear it because I was busy turning around and scanning the restaurant with curious eyes now that I was remembering what she’d interrupted me for, looking for who was requesting me, then I stopped paying attention to everyone else in Whitecaps.

The flip and twist happened. It was quite possibly my favorite feeling in the entire world.

Brian sat at a booth next to the window by himself. He was smiling at me warmly in a teal blue shirt with a pair of sunglasses hanging on the collar, and he looked good, let me tell you, better than any other man I’d ever seen sitting at that booth.

Or in this restaurant.

Or walking around the state of North Carolina.

I was about to sprint across the room and launch myself into his arms like Baby from Dirty Dancing when Shay took a hold of my elbow.

“He’s, like, unfairly hot, Syd,” she commented appreciatively. “Who is he? He came in here looking for you yesterday but acted a little weird about it. Said you two weren’t friends when I asked.”

I looked from Brian to Shay.

That puzzled me but only for a moment. It was understandable he didn’t tell Shay we were friends. For two days we weren’t anything.

I gave Shay a reassuring smile.

“It was complicated but now it’s not. He’s…well, I guess he’s my boyfriend. We’re dating.” My brows pulled together while hers slid behind the bangs she had tickling her forehead. “At least I think we are. Hold that thought.”

I left Shay giggling, no doubt amused at my unsureness of this newly developed situation, which I couldn’t fault her for. I mean really, why I hadn’t taken a moment to ponder this myself was beyond me. Now I had no idea what to label us.

Brian was definitely my boyfriend. I just wasn’t sure what I was to him.

I stepped out from behind the bar and walked with determination across the room, weaving between tables before reaching the booth.

“Hey, Wild,” Brian said, all smooth and perfect boyfriend material like.

I needed to get to the bottom of this immediately.

“Trouble.” I crossed my arms under my chest. “Can I ask you something?”

“Is it what’ll I have to drink? ’Cause straight up, I think I need another coffee. This cute little ass kept rubbing against me all night and I barely got any sleep.” His eyes lowered to my breasts. “Those didn’t help.”

“Oh?” I flattened my hand on the table and leaned down, giving him a better view. “And who do these belong to?”

His eyes took their time lifting to my face, which was now only inches from his.

“You?” he asked unsurely. “Odd question, babe. You tired, too?”

“Nope. I feel very energized actually. Three orgasms will do that to a girl. I’m just wondering what this girl is to you exactly.”

His eyebrows lifted.

“You don’t know.”

I opened my mouth then closed it because I thought it was sweet how he made that sound, more as a statement than a question and one he couldn’t quite understand.

Brian thought it was obvious what I was to him and maybe it had been obvious for a while. That I was getting. However, the simple fact was, I didn’t want to risk any misinterpretations that would lead to my heart getting damaged, which was why I was being a smidge confrontational and wanting him to spell it out, right here and right now.

Before I went and got his coffee.

Brian pulled his sunglasses out of his shirt and set them on the table, then leaned forward, his face serious as he studied me.

“You don’t know,” he stated again, this time a little quieter and worry-filled, like he should’ve done better to make sure it was obvious for me, too.

God…

I was feeling his sweet all the way down to my toes.

“I’ve never been good at picking up on clues,” I explained quickly, figuring he should know the reason behind my foolishness.

He smiled.

“And how would you like me to spell this out for you?”

“I think we need to lock down a title.”

“Lock down a title?” he questioned.

“Yes. Like, what is this exactly? I know what you are to me. And if I’m being honest with myself I think I’ve known for a while, but I’m not sure what I am to you, which makes it incredibly difficult to answer questions about who you are because I can’t be telling close friends of mine that you’re my boyfriend if I’m not your girlfriend. The two go hand-in-hand. So I think before I introduce myself, run through the daily specials, and get you your coffee, we need to go ahead and lock something down.”

Brian smiled bigger. Then he quickly reached out and grabbed my arm, which was bracing me on the table, and pulled gently, twisting me until I fell into his lap with a squeak and my feet kicking out.

He ran his nose along my cheek as his arms wrapped tight around me.

Trouble had the best arms. Biggest and safest I’d ever felt.

“You wanna lock something down, Wild?” he asked playfully, the tone of his voice and the feel of his breath breaking goose bumps on my skin.

I dropped my head closer and nodded. Nerves pricked in my throat.

It was strange. I suddenly felt incredibly anxious and considered sliding off Brian’s lap and curling into a ball underneath the table. I wanted to hide.

Even in the safety of his arms I felt vulnerable.

What if he didn’t want to give me a title?

Or worse, what if he thought all this time I didn’t need one? That I was easy and didn’t see this as anything title-worthy?

This was why people should have formal discussions before they fuck like wild animals on the beach and then slip into a sex-induced coma where bacon is cooked perfectly. Eliminate all confusion while you’re still of sound mind and there’s no distraction of hard bodies.

Brian moved his lips to my ear.

My hands tensed in my lap. I closed my eyes.

Please tell me I’m your girlfriend. It’s all I want.

“Never been this way for me,” he said in a low, gentle voice. “Had a lot of girls growing up. Some serious. Some I just had because they wanted to be something and I liked them enough they stuck around for a little while, but I never called one of them my girl, serious or not. Girlfriend? Yeah. But never my girl, and I’ve been calling you that since the beginning, Syd. Since before I probably should’ve. That puts you somewhere no one else has ever been. On top of that, done some things with you I’ve already explained were a first for me, so that should tell you how serious this is. You wanna lock something down? Say we’re seeing each other or dating or whatever? You don’t need to ask me, babe, ’cause I’m locked down. Whatever you wanna call us, I’m good with. Just know I’ll be saying you’re my girl ’cause that’s what you are. That’s yours.”

He pulled back, allowing me to turn my head and look at him through tear-soaked eyes.

I was no longer wanting to be his girlfriend. This was so much better.

“That spell it out for you?” he asked.

I didn’t get to do the Baby thing because I was already in his lap and the table wouldn’t allow for any launching, but I did throw my arms around Brian in an equally dramatic way, a sob catching in my throat and my chest quaking with broken breaths as I buried my face in his neck and hugged him with every ounce of strength I had.

“I love being your girl. I think it’s my favorite thing in the entire world,” I said, feeling his arms tighten around me. “And you’re my boy.”

“Your man,” he corrected.

I shook my head against his.

“Man doesn’t go with girl. If you’re my man, then I’m your woman.”

“I’m not changing what I’ve been calling you for weeks, Wild. You’re my girl.”

“Then you’re my boy.”

He leaned back, pushed the chunk of hair out of my face that had fallen out of my pretty jeweled clip and was now damp with tears, tucked it behind my ear, and held me there, fingers curling around the back of my head and neck.

Brian stared at me, looking ready to argue.

I stared back, feeling a million different things, but the predominant feeling was love and it was blooming so quick inside me, I was certain the word was going to start sprouting from underneath my skin.

I cleared my throat, prompting him to speak.

“Just told you some things that meant a lot to me so I don’t feel like fighting you on this and ruining the mood,” he started. “That being said, you call me your boy and I don’t answer to that, you know why. It’s not ’cause you don’t got a hold on me, Wild, so don’t go thinking that.”

I blinked away more tears.

“Okay,” I said.

“You wanna call me your man? I will always answer to that.”

I closed my eyes, loving the idea of Brian being my man, smiled, and probably did it looking all doped up on something but I didn’t care, then I looked at him with that same smile and said, “I’ll answer to anything you wanna call me. Just don’t call me late for dinner.”

Brian stared at me, face serious through several blinks, then breaking into his own slow smile and laughing quietly through a shake of his head.

“Jesus. How long you been wanting to use that, babe?” he asked, arms squeezing me. “Honest.”

“Forever,” I confessed, laughing a little. “But I swear, no one ever set me up for it. It’s torture having a joke cued up and never being able to use it.”

“It’s a really bad joke.”

My eyes narrowed.

“It is not,” I argued. “It’s hilarious. You totally laughed.”

“I was laughing at you for using it, nut.”

“Don’t call me nut. I’m your girl.” I tilted my head. “Or Wild or babe.”

“Nut,” he added.

Eyes narrowing again, I leaned in close to whisper, “You might not know this, but over the past month I’ve thought a lot about sucking you off, Brian.”

His brows lifted in interest.

Knowing I had his attention, I continued on just as quietly.

“And I’d love to make that a reality, maybe even later on tonight, but you should know, I can go from wanting to suck you off to not wanting to suck you off in a second if you keep calling me nut. There are women out there who aren’t into that, the sucking-off part, and I don’t think you want me to become one of those women.”

I was feeling powerful in my speech. My chest was even puffed out a little.

Too bad I forgot how badly I wanted to suck Brian off, that being something else I’d dreamed about frequently, and the urge to see it through being something Brian was apparently well aware of, giving the triumphant little gleam flickering in his eyes as he stared back.

It was possible he was a mind reader and was watching me work out this predicament in my head.

It was also quite possible I’d spilled the beans on this dream of mine one night when we’d been getting each other off over the phone and I was so far gone, I’d shared my deepest darkest desires with him.

Brian smiled, licked his full, soft lips, then uttered, “Only way you’re keeping that sweet mouth off my dick is if I keep you off it, babe. We both know you’re hard up for it.”

My shoulders slumped in defeat.

Damn. He knew.

“But I’ll drop the nut,” he continued. “Doesn’t have the same ring to it as the other shit I call you.”

My chest puffed out a little again.

“Thank you,” I said. “I appreciate your sensitivity on this matter.”

He smiled bigger.

“Anytime.”

A door shutting at my back had me craning my neck to see behind me.

Tori was coming from the direction of Nate’s office with Nate on her tail, her eyes finding me and filling with approval once she took in whose lap I was sitting on.

She headed in our direction, smiling at Shay, who was avoiding the kitchen window and hanging out at the bar instead, filling salt and pepper shakers by the looks of it.

Nate was headed for the coffeemaker behind the bar, it appeared. He wasn’t looking my way yet.

Probably not best for your boss to see you canoodling with patrons the way Brian and I were canoodling. His hand was currently squeezing my ass and his other was settled between my legs, holding firm to the inside of my thigh.

I really didn’t want to move.

I also really liked having a job, and I needed this one considering the awful luck I was having finding an x-ray position locally.

Before I could be spotted and possibly fired, I slid off Brian’s lap and stood, spun around to face the booth, smoothed out the tiny apron I was wearing, then pulled out my ticket book and clicked open my pen.

“Good afternoon, sir. My name is Sydney and I’ll be your waitress today. Our specials are lobster linguini and the smokehouse burger. They are both super yummy. I eat them all the time.”

I smiled pleasantly and professionally at Brian, who was leaning back casually in the booth with one hand resting on the table.

He grinned beautifully.

I fought off the urge to molest him with my lips and fingers.

“Afternoon, kids,” Tori greeted, stepping up beside me.

She smiled at Brian and wrapped her arm around my waist.

“Potential, you had my best girl floating on cloud nine this morning. I kinda love you for that.”

I love you, too, I thought, so loudly I swore the words broke out through my ears and floated around me in little hope-filled bubbles where he could read them.

Brian looked to me and kept his eyes on my face. It appeared the words hadn’t slipped free.

I breathed a little easier and continued loving him quietly.

Tori gave me a squeeze. I turned to look at her.

“Schedule is up. Nate has you off on Tuesday, then on Sunday. He said depending on Kali, he might not need you on Saturday but to be prepared. She might not have a sitter that day.”

“Okay,” I replied, smiling.

That meant I could possibly have two days off in a row but I wouldn’t count on that. Normally if Kali wasn’t sure about a sitter, it meant she wouldn’t have one.

“You working with me any of those days?” I asked, sounding hopeful.

Tori nodded.

“All but Thursday. I’m on Tuesday.”

“Cool,” I replied.

Tori smiled, opened her mouth, and began echoing back a “cool,” but lost it when her eyes lifted and focused in on something behind me, then narrowed to tiny slits of fury at the same time as her mouth snapped shut and her lips curled in distaste.

Her “cool” came out sounding more like “crud.”

I turned my head and saw Jamie standing behind me.

Crud indeed.

His hair was damp and salt-water messy, and he was wearing tinted aviators.

Indoors.

Idiot.

I was still mad at him for screwing up his chances with Tori, especially after finding out exactly what happened this morning.

She walked in on him engaged in a threesome.

I almost threw up in my mouth hearing that. And even though I wanted to root for the best friend of my boy, I was having a hard time seeing any good side of Jamie to root for now that I knew he passed up an opportunity with my best friend to have a foursome.

Anyone who passed up spending any time with Tori was an idiot in my book. She was the best.

Jamie removed his sunglasses and tucked them in the front of his light gray tee, which I supposed was acceptable timing to remove sunglasses after entering a building, but I wasn’t admitting that, considering what I now knew, and went ahead thinking he was stupid for wearing them inside.

“Sunshine,” he greeted me, barely looking at me before he found Tori at my back. His hand lifted in question. “What the hell, Legs? You turn invisible or something last night? I looked all over for you.”

I turned to look at Tori.

She still had her eyes narrowed, but now had her hands on her hips and was leaning her weight on her right foot, looking sassy.

“Well, I’m not sure why you thought I’d be up some girl’s snatch, since that seemed to be the only place you were lookin’,” she tipped forward and hissed quietly, respectful of patrons but still delivering her cut with venom.

“Say again?” Jamie asked at my back.

“You heard me,” Tori replied with boredom.

“Yeah, I heard you, babe, but what I’m asking is for you to repeat it.” He stepped closer, forcing me to step back so I wouldn’t be squished between the two of them. “You come lookin’ for me?” he pressed.

I swore I heard hope in his voice.

Tori tilted her head back and held his eyes. Her shoulders lowered and the fingers at her hips eased their tension.

She was losing her fire. I could see it, but she wouldn’t let that on.

“I’d never come looking for you,” she whispered, then rolled up on her toes to add, “Not. Ever.”

“Right,” Jamie muttered. “You came lookin’ for me. That’s what this is about.”

“Nope. Sorry.”

“You did.”

“Didn’t.”

“Then how come you know I was buried in pussy?”

“Lucky guess,” Tori snapped. “It was between that or your own ass. I had a fifty-fifty shot.”

Jamie smiled and crossed his arms over his chest.

“That’s cute, Legs. Real cute, and I gotta be honest. I’m digging you being jealous.”

Tori scoffed.

“I am not jealous.”

“You are.”

“Am not.”

“Are.”

“God, are you that conceited? Seriously? Not everyone wants you, Jamie.”

He bent down, getting closer and forcing Tori to rock back onto her heels.

“You do,” he said, his voice dipping lower. “You’re hard up, babe. As bad as me. Admit it. How long’d you stand there watching last night, wishing you were one of them?”

Tori’s eyes rounded to the size of dinner plates.

I peered around Jamie to look at Brian, indicating with my head and knowing eyes for him to step in and break up this back and forth before it got any worse.

Brian shrugged casually.

“Told you before, Wild. Unless it’s getting pushed on me, I stay out of it,” he reminded me.

I glared at him to show my disapproval.

I could tell by the smile tugging at his mouth that Brian thought my glare was cute and not at all threatening.

That made me glare harder.

“Anyone working today?” Nate asked at my back with a tone that screamed unemployment for all of us.

I lost the glare, quickly spun around, and waved my ticket book in front of me.

“I am!” I said enthusiastically, grinning at his hardened face.

Nate was a good-looking guy even when he looked angry. It was the dark hair, dark eyes, dress shirt rolled at his forearms, and Clark Kent glasses.

Nerds were right behind hot boys who used to surf, in my book.

“I was just getting ready to take down orders,” I further explained when Nate looked unconvinced.

He kept his face hard as he cut his eyes to Tori, his coffee steaming in his hands.

She was already moving away and toward a table on the other side of the room, greeting a four-top with that small town girl charm she radiated and everyone fell in love with. The two couples ate it up, and if they’d been waiting long, they forgot all about that wait the second Tori started talking.

I looked back at Nate and saw his approval. His face was marginally less angry, and he turned that face on Jamie and relaxed it further to ask, “You being helped?”

Jamie nodded, choosing not to get Tori into trouble, which I could’ve seen as sweet but I chose not to because I was still holding on to the knowledge Tori shared last night, then he moved in front of me and took the seat across from Brian.

Nate stepped away and took his coffee to his office. The door shut loudly behind him.

“Dude is hurting,” Brian observed, pulling my eyes to his. He jerked his chin. “You can see it. That wasn’t just about you girls standing around and not getting to work.”

I thought it was sweet he noticed Nate’s pain, thinking most guys wouldn’t pick up on something like that and would only see a boss getting on his employees, and I chose to show my feelings about Brian being in tune to that by leaning over the table and kissing him quickly.

It was soft and sweet and tasted like spearmint gum.

I loved spearmint gum.

Then I pulled back, readied my ticket book, and looked between Brian and Jamie, asking, “Do ya’ll need time or are you ready to order?”

Brian chuckled.

Jamie slid the menu that was already set out on the table closer to me, keeping it closed.

“Not sure I should bother,” he said. “You seem to get some crazy idea of your own every time I come in here and bring me whatever you’re feelin’.”

“Well, you could always eat somewhere else if you’re unhappy with the service,” I suggested, forcing my lips into a smile that was one hundred percent fake.

The smile Jamie hit me with in return was one hundred percent genuine—heart-melting dimples and all.

“Nah. I like the view here,” he told me, winking. “Just bring me a Coke with grenadine if you feel like it.”

I looked at Brian.

His smile warmed my belly and melted other parts of me, not just my heart.

“Southern stuffed shrimp, Wild. And that coffee.”

“Got it.”

I scribbled down his order and my choice of the day for Jamie—a bucket of clams—swiped the menu off the table, and deposited it back at the hostess booth, then ripped the ticket off and carried it to the kitchen window.

“Is there a way to do the Loser Special on the bucket of clams, Stitch?” I asked, sliding the ticket across the cold steel. “Or is it a waste of time to drop clams on the floor?”

Stitch was standing at the grill with his back to me, stirring up something in a sauce pan.

He turned his head after hearing my question, registered it with a jerk of his chin, then went back to staring at the sauce pan.

I leaned my elbow on the steel.

“I have no idea what that little chin jerk means, you know that, right?” I asked.

Stitch said nothing.

I turned my head to look at Shay.

She had moved on from filling salt and pepper shakers at the bar and was now passing time between tending to her patrons by sitting at a vacant table and rolling extra sets of silverware.

No one ever volunteered to roll silverware. You only did it when Nate asked you to.

I looked once again at Stitch, rolled up on my toes, and added for only him to hear, “She’s upset with you and she has reason to be. You bailed on her. And when girls are excited about something and that one thing they’re excited about falls through, they get disappointed and sometimes get quiet.”

I watched the silent man, all messy edge and lawless looks, leave that sauce pan and turn to face me. His eyes were hard and his nostrils were flaring with irritation.

“Never said I’d go,” he clipped, saying more than he’d ever said to me at once before, and if that didn’t make me highly interested in listening, it was the topic and tone of his voice that kept me invested and not ducking behind the bar. “She just assumed ’cause I didn’t say different when she was talkin’ about it, and that’s on her. I got no business bein’ at a party like that and she knows it, just like she’s got no business invitin’ me to one. What the fuck would I do there?”

I was staring and I was doing it with my eyes wide and my mouth dropped open.

Whoa.

Stitch had an extremely sexy voice hiding behind that beard.

Nice.

“Uh,” I stammered, then stated as if it was obvious, “You could’ve hung out with Shay.”

He shook his head and looked down at the prep station.

“Got no business doin’ that either,” he muttered. “Girl like that with that kinda light…” His voice trailed off, then he lifted his eyes, tensed his jaw, and said curtly, “Not talkin’ about this.”

My brows shot up.

I absolutely wanted to keep talking about this. What Stitch was saying was incredibly interesting and something I would definitely share with Shay.

He thought she had light. He also thought he wasn’t good enough to touch that light. I was hearing that loud and clear.

Shay was right. Stitch was sweet.

I wanted to jump through that window and hug the crap out of him.

But before I could do that or urge him into further conversation, he reached out and slammed his hand down on the steel, swiped the ticket, read the order quickly, then tacked it up along with the others before he turned around and supervised the sauce pan.

“Not much I can do with the clams,” he informed, facing away. “Droppin’ them on the floor ain’t gonna do what you’re lookin’ for it to do.”

I nodded at his back, deciding to be generous and letting Jamie off easy today. Mainly because Stitch seemed in the mood to get creative if I asked and I was scared to think what he’d come up with while standing back there alone and pining over Shay.

“It’s okay, don’t worry about it,” I told him, rocking back onto my feet. “But if it’s not too much trouble, could you make those Southern stuffed shrimp extra yummy for my boy? He’s here.”

“Whatever,” he muttered, his arm moving as he stirred.

“With lots of love,” I added. “Not that I’m telling you how to cook, but maybe slip in an extra hush puppy?”

Stitch shook his head through a noisy exhale.

“Jesus Christ, I need a new fuckin’ job.”

I left that remark alone and stepped in front of the coffeemaker, grabbing a mug for Brian.

As long as Shay worked at Whitecaps, I had a feeling Stitch wasn’t going anywhere.

*  *  *

I was running my tongue along the underside of Brian’s cock as I knelt between his knees on the floor of his living room in front of the couch.

He’d dropped calling me “nut” so I was making good on my promise to suck him off, starting on that as soon as I got to his place after my shift ended.

I was moaning and taking him deep while fighting off the urge to press my fingers between my legs, knowing the second I did that I’d go off, enjoying the feel of his long, thick cock in my mouth so much that I was getting there without even trying. And Brian was fisting my hair and thrusting his hips, saying some of the hottest stuff to me as I worked him.

“Wild,” he groaned.

“Fuck,” he snarled.

“Jesus, babe. Never been sucked this good,” he confessed.

Hot.

We had the house to ourselves for the rest of the night because Jamie went to look at some bike he was interested in buying two hours away, an investment Brian found hilarious for some reason he hadn’t shared with me yet, which led to the fooling around on the couch instead of in the privacy of Brian’s bedroom.

I loved it. I wanted to be out in the open with Brian everywhere.

Let everyone see our crazy.

Rising up on my knees, I swallowed him until my lips touched the top of my hand squeezing his base, then I started sucking and jerking in slow, wet strokes, twisting my wrist and keeping pressure.

“Shit,” Brian muttered as his legs tensed. “Wild, get up here.”

“Un-mm.”

I shook my head a little and kept sucking and jerking as my other hand cupped his balls.

“Syd,” he growled.

Concentrating on the head, I swirled my tongue and flicked it as my hand pumped firmer and faster.

I wanted him to come. I wanted to taste Brian and I knew he was close, but before I could push him over the edge, hands gripped with impatience under my arms, lifting me off and then up until I was on my feet, standing in front of Brian and gripping his shoulders for stability as he tore savagely at my uniform shorts. He peeled them down my legs along with my panties, tossed them on the floor, then gripped the back of my thighs, took my weight, and somehow spread my legs and lowered me at the same time until I slid down onto his cock in one perfect, fluid, oh, my God, how am I this wet motion.

“Brian,” I gasped as he stretched me.

His hand slapped my ass and I yelped, lurching forward until our bellies and chests were touching and I could feel the rapid pounding of his heart against mine.

“Ride me ’til I come,” he ordered with fire in his eyes.

“I wanted you to come in my mouth,” I shared, leaning back and settling in his lap.

“I was getting that.” His lip twitched, then he held my hips and started shifting them, urging me to move with his hands and pressing me, “Come on, babe. Fuck me. Let me see what my girl can do.”

My skin tingled.

His girl.

No way was I saying no to that.

I started taking over, grinding down and forward while my hands gripped the back of the couch, going from slow to fast to slow again, then circling my hips instead of rocking them, pulling deeper, dirtier noises out of Brian.

“God, Wild.”

“So good,” I moaned, popping my booty and bouncing in his lap. “You feel…so good.”

His hips started driving off the couch as his fingers dug into my back under the white polo I was wearing and quickly peeling off so he could get to my breasts. The second the material hit the cushion beside us, Brian had my bra pushed down and his mouth latched around my nipple, sucking it hard and hungry when the doorbell sounded with a charming pitch.

I gasped and froze like a stone.

Brian froze, too, releasing my nipple but keeping his mouth against my flesh, his arms tight around me, waiting.

If we didn’t move or make a sound, they’d leave. This was apparently the train of thought we both shared.

Seconds passed.

“False alarm?” I guessed, then felt my spine tighten when the unmistakable sound of metal sliding against metal and unlocking alerted us of someone entering the house.

“Fuck,” Brian hissed, shifting me off his lap until I fell backward onto the cushion beside him.

He grabbed my shorts and panties off the floor and tossed them at me, both of us frantically pulling on and sliding up clothes, tucking and zipping and covering as best we could before the door pushed open and little excited voices filled the house.

“Uncle Brian!” a boy yelled.

“We’re here! We’re here!” another voice cried animatedly, this one sounding like a girl. “And we brought our iPads! Wait ’til you see my Minecraft now, Uncle Brian. It’s so awesome!”

Uncle Brian?

Panic raced through me.

“Oh, my God, your family is going to see me naked and know exactly what we were doing. My first impression is going to be horrible,” I whispered, pulling on my polo now that my shorts were fastened, which turned out to be a chore doing on my back but I had no other choice. It was the only way I could stay concealed.

This was so embarrassing!

“Did you know they were coming over?”

Brian stood to zip his shorts.

“I forgot,” he replied quietly, looking me over while pressing a hand to the front of his shorts. “Fuck, I was so close.”

“Get over it,” I snapped softly, struggling to get one arm through my shirt. “And hold them off from coming in here. I still have a boob out.”

Brian smirked, which I totally could’ve slapped him for but he looked really cute doing it so I let it go. He moved around the couch to hold off our company but halted only a couple of feet away when quick footsteps padded into the room.

“Uncle Brian!” the little girl shrieked. “Guess what? I chopped down Ollie’s tree!”

“Livvy! Why did you do that?” the boy asked, sounding angry. “I just put that up.”

“Because it was the only other tree I could find,” she replied meekly. “I’m sorry, Ollie. Don’t be mad. You can chop down my tree.”

“Would you both stop talking about Minecraft for five seconds and go give your uncle a hug?” a woman suggested.

Teeth clenching, I finally got my arm through the second hole and pulled my shirt down, double checking I was covered then sitting up slowly and stretching my hands above my head while forcing a yawn.

“Oh, wow. That was the best nap ever,” I lied, then rubbed my eyes and blinked fake sleepily between the two kids who were peering around Brian’s arms wrapped around them and the young woman standing a few feet away who I assumed was their mother.

She had Brian’s high cheekbones and full lips, which she was turning up into a knowing smile as she looked at me.

I didn’t think she was buying my nap story.

“Uncle Brian, who is that?” the boy asked.

The girl blinked with round eyes the color of melted chocolate.

Brian released them, stepped back, and turned his body halfway, giving them full view of me as I stood from the couch.

Both with blue-rimmed glasses and dark hair that looked playground messy, they were the same height and looked to be the same age.

Were they twins?

“This is Syd,” Brian said.

The girl took a step closer and tilted her head.

“Are you Uncle Brian’s girlfriend?” she asked, giving me a once-over and, when she was done, smiling big. “I know you are. He said you were super pretty and you are so super pretty. Your hair looks like Ariel.”

My cheeks warmed.

“Thank you,” I replied, moving around the couch and stopping in front of her. “I’m Sydney. I go by Syd, too. Is your name Livvy?”

She shrugged.

“That’s what Ollie calls me. It’s Olivia. You can call me Livvy or Olivia. Uncle Brian calls me Liv sometimes. He also said he loved you.”

My eyes widened. I turned them to Brian and watched him pinch his shut and drop his head, shaking it.

“Olivia,” the woman hissed behind her. “He didn’t say that, I said it.” She lifted her eyes to me and softened them, adding, “Not that it isn’t true. If my brother told you already, then I’m sure he means it.”

Brian groaned, clearly uncomfortable.

“Why did I give you a key?” he asked, turning his head to her.

The woman smiled, telling him, “Because I used to live here, remember?”

“Duh, Uncle Brian,” the boy, Oliver, added, looking up with tight brows.

Olivia spun around, her pretty dress fanning out as she giggled.

“Yeah, duh,” she echoed.

Brian’s sister turned back to me, keeping that smile but notching it up in brightness as she stepped forward and offered me her hand.

“I’m Jenna, by the way. It’s so good to meet you, Sydney.”

She knew about me, I was sure of that, but I didn’t know the extent and I really wanted to know what all had been said about me.

Especially the whole love business.

“It’s good to meet you, too,” I replied, dropping her hand and looking down at her shoes. “Cute booties.”

Really cute.

They were camel-colored leather with a chunky wooden heel that had to be four inches.

I wondered what size she wore.

“Thanks. I have a date tonight and he’s six-five. Needed some height.” Jenna turned her head and looked at Brian. “Did you forget?”

Brian shoved his hands in his pockets.

“Nope.”

“You forgot.” Jenna sighed. “It’s fine. I can reschedule.”

“No way!” Olivia cried, stomping her foot.

“Oh, man. This sucks.” Oliver crossed his arms over his chest and huffed out a breath. “I don’t wanna go back home. It’s boring there. I wanted to walk on the beach.”

“Oliver, don’t say sucks. That’s not nice,” Jenna scolded.

“Well, it does,” he whispered, ducking his head.

“I don’t care. You’re not allowed to say that word.”

“Fine. This is stupid.”

“You aren’t allowed to say that either,” she snapped, sounding on the verge of losing her temper. “Do I need to take away your iPad privileges?”

Oliver looked up at her, quickly shook his head, and muttered, “No, ma’am.”

I decided to cut in before the poor thing said something out of panic and got his iPad privileges taken away. I felt bad.

“You don’t have to reschedule. We didn’t have plans tonight. We’d be happy to watch them,” I told Jenna, seeing her smile then looking over at Brian to confirm and watching his brows lift in surprise. “Right?”

He stared at me, face stuck in that expression.

“Right?” I probed.

“We didn’t have plans?” Brian asked incredulously. “’Cause I thought we were sorta in the middle of somethin’—”

“That can be pushed back until later,” I cut in, bringing my hands to my hips. “Obviously.”

He cocked his head.

“Not sure it can, babe.”

“It totally can.”

“You understand what I’m dealing with right now?”

“Um, should we step out?” Jenna asked hesitantly.

“No. Please stay here,” I replied, eyes narrowed as they sliced back to Brian.

Brian narrowed his back.

This was so not the time or place to have this discussion, and seriously, how painful were blue balls anyway? I was certain men played that shit up.

“Really?” he asked.

I nodded hard. “Really.”

Brian looked to the ceiling and breathed in deep.

“Well, it was a good run. Sweet while it lasted.”

He was talking about our relationship.

“Very funny,” I quipped, catching the smile he was fighting before looking between the kids. “You two wanna hang out here for a while?”

“Yes!” Oliver punched his fist into the air and jumped off the floor. “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!”

Olivia shook her hips with a little dance, then cutely high-fived her brother.

“Are you sure?” Jenna asked, concern in her voice. “I don’t wanna put you two out.”

“You won’t be. Go enjoy yourself. We got this.”

She smiled again.

“I like your girlfriend, Uncle Brian. She’s cool,” Oliver said, taking the two small duffles out of his mother’s hand and giving the one decorated with pastel circles to Olivia. “And I guess she’s pretty.”

“She’s super pretty!” Olivia shouted, looking up at me and clutching her duffle against her chest. “Wanna play hair salon? I brought my accessories.”

I smiled big.

“Absolutely. I love accessories.”

“Awesome,” she whispered excitedly, then turned her head. “You hear that, Ollie? Syd is gonna play hair salon with me, and she loves accessories, too!”

“Yeah, whatever. Me and Uncle Brian are gonna play Road Blocks.”

Oliver rounded the couch with his duffle and climbed on, heaving the bag up on the cushion and unzipping it.

Olivia scrambled after him.

“I have my cell if you need me. We shouldn’t be that late so you won’t have to put them to bed,” Jenna said, stepping in front of Brian and laughing quietly at the frustrated expression he was still holding, then wrapping him up into a hug. “I love her,” she whispered, loud enough for me to hear. “Don’t mess this up.”

“Don’t you have a date to get to?”

She leaned away and stuck out her tongue, then gave me a wave, smiling.

“Have fun!” I said, waving back.

Her heels slapped against the wood floor as she exited the room, then the front door closed behind her.

I stepped in front of Brian and grinned up at him.

“Hey, Trouble.”

He didn’t grin back.

“Wild.”

I rolled up on my toes and whispered a promise. “I’ll make it good.”

His cheek twitched, then he wrapped his arms around my back and pulled me close.

“Countin’ on it, babe,” he said against my hair.

I gave him a quick squeeze, then turned my head to ask the kids, “Did you guys eat?”

Oliver looked up from his iPad.

“No. We weren’t hungry before we left. But I’m starving now.”

“Me, too,” Olivia said, keeping her eyes focused on what she was playing and not turning around. “Can we order pizza again, Uncle Brian?”

“Why don’t we make them instead?” I suggested, both pairs of eyes drawing to me with interest. “You can both make your own how you like it and we can even do a dessert one. It’s easy and super yummy.”

“A dessert one?” Olivia sat up taller and licked her lips.

“Yep. We can put chocolate or peanut butter sauce on it and chocolate chips, marshmallows, M&M’s—”

“Let’s do that!” she shrieked, cutting me off and spinning around completely so she was hanging over the back of the couch. “I love marshmallows and chocolate. We can do a s’mores one with graham crackers, right, Ollie?”

“Yeah, totally. Can we eat them on the beach?” he asked, mimicking his sister’s position and looking a milder form of excited.

I looked up at Brian.

He was staring down at me in a way that made my toes curl against the wood.

“Wanna have dinner with us on the beach?” I asked, pressing my hands to his chest. “I think the kids will really like the pizza. I make it all the time, and I don’t mind running out and getting ingredients.”

“Sweet of you,” he said.

I shrugged.

“I’ve been told I can be sweet sometimes.”

His eyes dropped to my mouth.

“Yeah,” he breathed.

“Are you guys gonna kiss like they do on TV?” Olivia questioned through a small, excited voice.

“That’s disgusting,” Oliver muttered. “I can’t watch this.”

Brian’s chest shook with a laugh, breaking him out of his fixation.

I tipped my chin back and waited with eyes closed and lips puckered.

He gave me a very G-rated kiss, sending Olivia into a fit of giggles while Oliver groaned uncomfortably, apparently he lied and totally watched it happen, then Brian pulled back only to press another kiss to my forehead.

I moaned and melted closer.

Forehead kisses from Brian were the best.

“Make a list for the store,” he ordered. “I’ll go.”

I smiled, then turned to Olivia, who was still watching us, and gave it to her.

“Ready to play hair salon?”

She was ready, and she showed that by dropping her iPad on the couch like it was on fire and trading it for a bubblegum pink case she pulled out of her duffle, holding it above her head with both hands and nodding frantically.

I wanted to eat her up. She was the cutest.

After making Brian a list of ingredients, I sat on the floor in front of the couch and let Olivia brush, twist, braid, pull, and tease my hair, accessorizing me with nearly every clip she had, all while listening to her gab about Minecraft, some show about a gumball, and her brother, who was older by ten minutes.

Then we switched places and I made her hair super pretty, as requested.

*  *  *

The kids loved making their own pizzas, which both ended up being extra sauce and two types of cheese after Olivia heard what Oliver wanted and changed her mind from her original plan, lots of pepperoni.

It was sweet how she wanted to keep with what he had, and according to Brian, it happened a lot and Oliver was the same with her.

I wanted to eat Oliver up, too.

Seriously, these kids were the sweetest things in the world.

We had our slices of pizza on the beach, picnic style on a blanket, then the two of them ran around for a bit and got in the water but only up to their knees, keeping their clothes dry.

When it was time for dessert, we headed back inside and I popped the s’mores pizza into the oven while Brian sat on the couch between the kids and cued up a movie on Netflix.

I could see the top of Olivia’s wildly accessorized head. It was resting on Brian’s shoulder. Oliver’s wasn’t but he was sitting close enough I knew he was leaning against him, too.

It looked natural. All three of them cozying together. The scene struck deeper than witnessing a doting uncle spending time with his niece and nephew. It warmed my heart so much more than I was expecting, blooming unfamiliar hopes and dreams and wishes inside me. I stood next to the island for long silent minutes, taking shallow breaths and staring at the three of them as fear and longing spread through my soul.

I wanted kids.

For the first time in my twenty-four years of life, I wanted kids.

I, Sydney Whittaker, wanted to be a mom.

Holy…shit.

I was either going to pass out right here, throw up, or start crying. One of those three things was bound to happen.

Brian turned his head and peered at me over the couch.

“Coming over?”

I sucked in breath through my nose, feeling it tingle as my eyes watered.

Option three. I was going to start crying.

Brian noticed my change in demeanor and craned his neck farther to question it.

“You all right?”

I needed to get a handle on my emotions. This was a happy night, and I didn’t want my newfound desire for kids bringing down the mood in the room.

But seriously, this was life changing and warranted a minute of freak-out, at least.

Just not right now.

Needing to find my composure since I had eyes on me, I turned my head and looked at the wall by the slider, focusing my gaze on the eight-by-ten picture that hung there of Jamie on the beach, sun beaming down on him, board in hand and a shiny gold medal around his neck.

My nose stopped tingling and my eyes dried up.

Idiot.

“Syd?”

“Perfect,” I answered, calmed and confident, then walked across the room and rounded the couch. I smiled at Brian, gave a little of it to Oliver, then shined it all on Olivia as I sat down next to her. “I’m perfect.”

She smiled back and giggled when I shook my hair and made the clips clack against each other.

I hadn’t taken all of them out yet.

“Can you turn the fireplace on, Uncle Brian?” Olivia asked, tilting her head up. “My toes are cold.”

Brian stood from the couch, walked over to the wall next to the slider, and flipped a switch. The fireplace made a clicking noise like a burner on a stove, then roared to life seconds later.

Olivia hopped off the couch as Brian reclaimed his seat and moved to the floor so she was closer to the fire, stretched her legs out in front of her, and wiggled her feet. Then she looked over her shoulder at Oliver and pushed her glasses higher on her nose.

“Ollie, come down here and watch.”

He joined her without protest, sprawling out on his stomach and tilting his head back to watch the movie, knees bent and feet kicking the air.

I looked from them to Brian, holding on to a smile.

He patted the spot next to him.

“Hey,” I whispered, burrowing against his side and breathing him in.

He smelled like salt water and spring meadow detergent.

“Hey,” he whispered back, throwing his arm around me and holding on to my waist as I leaned on my left hip, dropped my head against his shoulder, and bent my knees, resting my bare feet on the couch.

Olivia giggled at the TV, looked at Oliver when he laughed at the same thing, then turned back and giggled some more.

“They used to live here with you?” I asked quietly.

The thought made me smile. I could picture tiny feet jumping on the bed in the morning and rousing Brian awake.

I felt his head turn and the heat of his mouth against my hair.

“Two years ago. Moved here from Denver and stayed with me until Jenna found them something. It was only for a couple months.”

“Denver? Jeez. That’s crazy far away,” I replied. “What were they doing out there?”

“My parents live there,” he said. “We grew up in Emerald Isle but my dad’s job took him to Denver when I was a senior in high school. Didn’t want to go so I moved in with Jamie and his family. Liked the idea of staying near the water. I’m not much for snow sports. Jenna was fifteen so she didn’t have a choice. My parents took her with them.”

Jenna looked young, maybe close to my age, and I knew the kids were seven.

“How old is Jenna?” I asked.

“Twenty-six.”

I did the math, then sat back to look at him, forcing his arm to slide to my back.

“She had the kids when she was nineteen?” I questioned with shock in my voice.

He nodded.

“Oh, my God. That had to be insane. I can’t imagine two babies at nineteen.” I looked to Oliver and Olivia, then turned back to Brian and leaned in to ask quietly, “Where’s the father?”

His face hardened.

Uh-oh.

“Asshole signed over rights when they were barely a year,” he spat. “Didn’t want Jenna to carry them. Told her to terminate the pregnancy.”

My eyes went round.

“What? Her boyfriend asked her to do that?”

“They weren’t together,” Brian clarified. “Hooked up at a party once and that was it. Jenna wanted something to come of it but Derek didn’t want anything to do with her. Couldn’t even man up and be a dad to those kids.” He shook his head with a clenched jaw. “Good thing I wasn’t living there. Probably would’ve killed him if I ever met the shithead. Know it was tough on her doing it alone but she didn’t have to for long. My parents stepped in and took some of the load off. Watched the kids while she finished school and got her degree. Once she was done, she wanted a fresh start, for her and the kids. Told her to come out here and I’d help out as much as I could.”

I placed my hand on his chest.

“That was sweet of you.”

Brian shrugged, then looked at the floor where they were sitting.

“Wanted to know them. Be someone they could rely on. They’re good kids who got dealt a shit hand.”

“That’s not true.”

He turned his head to me.

“You saying they aren’t good kids?” he asked.

“Of course not. They’re terrific kids. I love them so much already,” I replied, seeing his mouth twitch. “I’m saying they weren’t dealt a shit hand.”

He cocked his head.

“How’d you figure?”

I got close again, pressing against his side as my hand slid up his chest to his neck and jaw, where I held him there.

“They have a mom who loves them enough she knew she’d be facing a hard road and she took it anyway, doing it because she wanted them,” I explained. “She fought for those kids and she fought alone, and I have no doubt in my mind they aren’t missing out. I only had one parent.”

Brian’s eyes went soft and the hand holding me tensed at my side.

“Up until she couldn’t be a good one anymore, my mom was all the parent I needed,” I continued, sliding my hand down to his shirt. “That being said, I also had a nana who gave me the kind of love only a grandparent can give, which those kids also had, only they had both your parents. That’s a lot of love, Brian. Then they got you when they moved here. I see what you mean to them. The way Olivia smiles at you and Oliver absorbs what you’re doing and watches you closely. Their hearts are very full. In no way did they get dealt a shit hand.”

Brian reached out and snagged one of the butterfly clips dangling at the end of my hair and held it between his fingers.

“You act like you’ve been watching me with them for years,” he said, sliding his eyes to mine. “Only been a couple hours, Wild.”

I swallowed against nerves crawling up the back of my throat.

“It has,” I agreed softly. “But I could watch you with them for five minutes and still come to the same conclusion I’ve come to.”

“That we’re close?”

“Yes.”

He smiled.

“And that I’d very much like that someday.”

Brian chuckled softly.

“Pretty sure we’re close, too, babe.”

“No, not that.”

He released the clip, let his hand drop to my thigh to hold me there, and with eyes curious and calming, searched my face.

“What then,” he pried, dipping closer until his lips touched my temple. “What do you want, Syd? Name it. I’ll get it for you.”

God…

I sucked in a breath, mouth opening to answer just as the timer on the oven buzzed behind us.

I leaned away. “I should get that.” Then I scurried off the couch, moving quickly into the kitchen.

“Is it ready?” Olivia called at my back.

“Maybe,” I answered. “Let me make sure the marshmallows are all gooey.”

“Yummm. Gooey marshmallows,” she moaned, and smacked her lips.

After silencing the buzzer, I fitted my hands with oven mitts so I could grab the tray the pizza was cooking on.

“Here.”

Brian was at my back, easing me to the side so I was no longer standing in front of the oven.

He slipped one of the mitts off my hand and fitted it on his right, then opened the oven and pulled out the tray, holding it up for me to examine.

“Done?” he asked.

The chocolate was melted. The graham crackers looked toasted. And the marshmallows were definitely gooey.

It looked and smelled delicious.

“Done,” I answered.

Brian set the tray on top of the burners, turned off the oven, took his mitt and grabbed the one I was still wearing, and tossed them on the counter. Then grabbing my hips, he pulled me against him and stared intently into my eyes.

“What do you want?” he asked again, this time sounding more urgent.

“Uh.”

“What conclusion did you come to after watching me spend five minutes with Oliver and Liv?”

“Well, maybe a little longer than five minutes.”

“Syd.”

“Mm?”

He squeezed my hips and bent to get closer.

“You want somethin’ from me?”

I slowly released my breath and, on the last bit of that exhale, admitted a quiet, “Yes.” Then I went on to explain after hopefully pulling in a nerve-calming burst of air.

“I was with Marcus for seven years and I never thought about having kids with him.”

Brian didn’t say anything. I wasn’t sure if he was even breathing, but his fingers were definitely holding on to me a little tighter.

I swallowed down hesitation and went on.

“Never. And that’s what you do when you get married, you think about if you want a family or not, and you talk about it together, but that never happened. I never brought it up and neither did he. I spent practically every day with Marcus and not once did I look at him and want him to give me that. Not once. Then I see you sitting on that couch with Oliver and Olivia, and for the first time in my life I want it, and I want it in a way I know I’ll never go back to not wanting it, and that’s just after one actual day with you. One day, Brian. What am I gonna want in a week, or a month? What other hopes am I gonna have? I’ve missed so much of myself being with Marcus. Not just peanut butter and puppies. I wanted kids and I didn’t even know it. You showed me that.”

Brian was definitely breathing now. I felt it when he hauled me closer, moving his hands to my back and taking my weight until I was up on my toes and my legs and hips and belly and chest were all pressed against his and our faces were almost touching, lips almost kissing as we shared the same air.

I thought he was going to tell me I was crazy, because I was. This was.

I thought he was going to say we needed to slow down, get to that week or that month before we talked about stuff like this.

I thought he was going to say no.

But Brian didn’t say any of that.

He breathed, slow and steady, then uttered a stilling, “Okay.”

My eyes blinked wider.

Just okay.

That’s it. That’s all he said.

One word that held so much and sounded so loud, and if it was written, I could read it forever.

“Okay?” I asked.

“Yeah.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

Wow.

“Okay,” I whispered anxiously back. “This is crazy, Brian,” I pointed out, laughing a little. “We’re talking about kids and neither one of us has said…you know…it yet.”

Brian smiled, moved his hands to the top of my ass, and dropped his head until it was touching mine.

“It?”

“Yes.”

“What’s it?”

I fake glared at him.

“You know…”

“Does it count if I wrote it?” he asked.

Losing the glare, I blinked as he leaned away, then released me, watching him move to the kitchen table and pick up the crossword book I spotted in his room last night. He carried it over, head down as he flipped to a page near the front.

When he reached me, he kept hold of the pen and held out the book for me to take.

I took it and my eyes began scanning the page he indicated with a tap of his finger.

Most of the answers appeared to be filled in and there was nothing written along the margins. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to be looking at or what I was expecting.

Perhaps “I LOVE SYDNEY” in bold capital letters?

Or “Sydney and Brian forever”?

Yes. That’s what I was expecting.

I liked stuff spelled out for me, remember?

“Um. Sorry, where am I…”

“Sixteen across,” Brian stated.

Top-right corner. The word “WILD” was written in bold capital letters.

It was the only answer written that way.

I appreciated the tribute to his nickname for me, but I was still expecting something different.

“Um…”

“The clue, babe. Read it.”

I found the clue for 16-Across.

And I read it.

Zero, on a court.

“Love.” The answer was “love.” I knew this one. I played tennis in high school.

But Brian hadn’t put “love.” He’d put “WILD.”

“WILD” was his four letter word for “love.”

I slowly lifted my eyes.

“Filled that in two weeks ago,” Brian confessed, catching the tear that was falling down my cheek with his thumb. “Only puzzle in that book I can’t finish ’cause I wrote my answer and it ain’t the one they’re looking for, but it’s mine.”

I blinked up at him, trying to see through the emotions flooding my eyes.

“It is?” I whispered, pulling the book against my chest and holding it there.

He nodded, looking down at the book then back up at me.

“Never felt anything like this. Told you I didn’t care how crazy this was. Still don’t. I love you.”

“Brian,” I whispered.

He took my face between his hands.

“I love you, Syd,” he repeated, eyes serious. “Fuck it, all right? Fuck our crazy. I want it.”

A laugh bubbled in my throat.

“I love you, too,” I said. “You’re the best mistake I’ve ever made.”

Lazy smile and sweet eyes soft, Brian ran his thumb over my cheek and breathed easy.

“Feels good saying it.”

He had no idea.

“Yeah,” I agreed. “Really good. I’ve been whispering it in my head for weeks.”

Brian smiled bigger and caught another tear with his thumb.

“How many you want?”

I knew he was talking about kids. I tilted my head as Olivia giggled in the background and thought for all of two seconds.

“Two. A boy and a girl.” I pressed closer to ask, “You?”

“Whatever you want, babe.”

Whatever I want.

It didn’t matter to him either way. Brian was going to give it to me.

I had the best boy in the world.

He bent down, pressed his full lips against mine, and kissed me breathless.

It was not G-rated. There was a lot of tongue and gripping hands involved, mainly his since I wouldn’t let go of the book.

I had plans on getting it framed.

“Is the s’mores pizza ready yet?” Olivia called out impatiently from the living room. “What’s taking so long?”

“Gross,” Oliver muttered. “Don’t look. They’re doing it again.”

Olivia gasped.

“I wanna see,” she whispered excitedly.

I laughed inside our kiss.

Brian broke away laughing, too, then wrapped his arms around me and held tight, and even though I wasn’t holding him back, it felt like I was holding him tighter.

Turning my head and leaning, I peered around him to see the kids.

They were standing now. Olivia was staring at us with her fingers covering her mouth, looking so happy she could burst.

Oliver was shielding his eyes from the scene in front of him.

“It’s ready,” I proclaimed from the cloud I was floating around on. “We were just waiting for it to cool.”

Both kids came running into the room.

They told me about a hundred times how good that s’mores pizza was.

I liked hearing that, and I promised another pizza and movie night soon.

I also made good on my promise to Brian.

An hour later, after Jenna had picked up the kids, we were back at it on that couch, only this time I stayed on my knees.

I sucked him off like I wanted but I stopped when Brian got the impulse to take me from behind. I didn’t protest.

When you love someone, you compromise.

And boy, did I love him.