“Riley!” I said way too defensively. “You can’t tell anyone. She’s not out—”
“I didn’t even know she liked girls! I didn’t even know you guys talked.”
“Well, we do. We used to be best friends before she moved.”
The windows started to fog up. I put on the defroster, and Riley continued to act as if the world was ending. It was then that I got a sense of how upset she was that I was seeing someone else. That I’d slept with someone else. That I was probably in love with someone else.
She rubbed her face in disbelief, shaking her head and running her hands down her face.
“God, I’m so dumb. So, so dumb.”
“What? Why are you dumb?”
“For ever thinking I could get you back.”
When I heard her sniff, my stomach muscles tightened. The only other time I made her cry was when we broke up, and even that was painful to watch.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“I’m sorry too,” she said. “That Kennedy needs to hide you. That the only place you two can be open and free is some secret spot at school. If she realized how lucky she is to have you, she wouldn’t be hiding you.”
“Lucky to have me? Riley, you just told me you were too good for me at New Year’s. Fucking make up your mind about me already.”
“Okay, Quinn.” She gathered up her bag. “If you’re truly happy with her, then I’m glad.” She opened the door, and a gust of chilly air flew into the car as she got out. “Just know that I would never hide you. Not for a second.”
She slammed the door shut.
From the rearview mirror, I watched her get into her car directly behind me. The back lights turned on, and gas puffed out of the exhaust. I couldn’t leave the parking lot after that conversation—after all the conversations I had in one day that made me feel like the lowest of the low. And from watching Riley’s car sit there behind me, I sensed she felt the exact same way.
* * *
In the days following, Riley couldn’t talk to me or look me in the eye. It was especially awkward since we were on the same relay team getting ready to compete at states. I upheld my promise and made it to all my practices right on time. I explained to Kennedy about Leanne’s confrontation and how I really needed to focus on swimming for the next two weeks. She seemed to understand and even encouraged my focus.
But I avoided telling her that Riley found out about us. That was something I couldn’t deal with. Not on top of Riley and Liam ignoring me and my proving to Leanne that I still really cared about swimming. I thought I was already living and breathing swimming, but apparently, I’d done a good job allowing myself to get distracted by Kennedy, Liam, Cassandra, and Riley. For two weeks, I was going to forget it all and do whatever I needed to do to kick ass at states.
It wasn’t until Wednesday the following week—the day before we left for states—that Madison and Gia finally sensed the thick tension that hung between Riley and me.
“So, I know Leanne just lectured us about how she wants lights out at ten at the hotel both nights but…I think we should sneak into Alex and Steven’s room anyways,” Madison said as all four of us changed out of our suits. She had a huge crush on Alex and was determined that our two-night stay at the Holiday Inn near Ithaca College was going to be her first kiss with him. Real sexy times.
“Yes, I second this!” said Gia, who conveniently had a crush on Steven. Steven was definitely less interested in her than Alex was in Madison, but I don’t think he complained too much about getting female attention. “Give these two lovebirds some quality time.” Gia waggled her eyebrows up and down at Riley and me.
We both shot them a look, like God-please-don’t-do-that-to-us look. Riley had moved to the opposite corner just so she didn’t have to change right next to me. I think the fact that we couldn’t be on the same side of the locker room spoke volumes.
“Whoa, I thought you two wouldn’t mind,” Madison said.
“Why does everyone assume we want to get back together?” Riley said. “Just because we get along—sometimes—doesn’t mean we want alone time. It doesn’t mean we want to share a bed either. We’re broken up for a really good reason.”
“Wow, Riley, tell us how you really feel,” I said.
“Someone should,” she said. “I wouldn’t wanna lead you on or anything.”
Madison and Gia alternated glances back and forth to us. I just rolled my eyes and buttoned my jeans.
“I feel like that was an undertone,” Madison said, “and that Gia and I should really let you guys hash this out.”
“Please don’t,” I said.
“Can I just say that whatever it is needs to be resolved by Friday at nine a.m.?” Madison said. “Because that’s our prelim for the relay, and I really don’t wanna miss out on finals because of whatever you two are bickering about.”
“I think someone is leading someone on,” Gia said to Madison.
Then both of them looked at me.
“Why are we assuming it’s me?” I said.
“Because you’re a tease,” Gia said.
“And assertive,” Madison said.
“And Riley was madly in love with you.”
“Um, actually I wasn’t,” Riley said sharply and slung her duffle bag over her clothed body. “You guys keep acting like I kissed every inch of the ground Quinn’s ever walked on.”
“Because you kind of did,” Gia said.
She really did, hence the whole breaking up with her because she was too much. At least Gia could admit it, even though I felt as if she took Riley’s side of the breakup. Everyone did, actually. The only person out of all of our mutual friends who was Team Quinn was me.
“No, I didn’t,” Riley said defensively. “And stop thinking that. It’s insulting.”
Gia threw her hands in the air to surrender.
If I was going to call Riley out on her bullshit, I sure as hell wasn’t going to do it in my bra and jeans. She would probably like that too much. So, I threw my crewneck sweatshirt on, and once my head popped out of the hole, I decided to fully engage in the conversation.
“What have I done in the last few months that has led Riley on? Huh? Anything? Weren’t you just accusing me of not hanging out with you? How could I have led you on if I wasn’t hanging out with you?”
Madison and Gia looked at Riley, who was halfway out of the locker room. She turned around to give me a hurt and defeated look. “Fuck you, Quinn.”
“It’s a legit question!” I said. “If this is going to be turned around on me, then tell me what I did to lead you on so I can stop it. I’m tired of always being the bad guy in this relationship.”
“Well, honestly, you’re not doing a good job right now being the good guy,” Gia said. Just when I thought she was on my side, she jumped right back to Riley’s.
“We never talked about getting back together. We haven’t kissed since homecoming. So, why am I the bad guy because I’ve moved on? That’s not my fault.”
“You know what, Quinn,” Riley said, “please don’t come to me when your heart gets broken, and it will get broken, by the sound of it. I really don’t give two shits if it does, so have fun in your closet.”
She walked out. Riley was one of the sweetest girls I’d ever met, but man, when you were on her bad side, her words could cut diamonds. I think I was the only one on her shit list, so she had all the time and energy to really sharpen the blades on her words. Maybe I deserved it, but she had no right to be mad at me for having a girlfriend. That wasn’t fair at all.
“Fix it,” Madison said to me. “I really don’t wanna miss out on a chance to do awesome at states because of whatever has gotten up both of your asses. If we suck or don’t even make it to the final heat, I’m blaming you two.”
* * *
The tension between me and Riley didn’t have any impact on our relay. I purposely tuned her out, and Madison insisted she and I share a bed in the hotel room so they could keep us separated.
If anything, ignoring Riley enhanced my performance. Our relay took first overall. And that wasn’t even the best part. Not only did I make the finals in my 200 and 500-yard freestyle, but I beat my state record in the 500-free by half a second in the prelims, I beat my school record in the 200 by a second in the finals, and then I beat my newest 500-free record in the finals by two seconds. I beat three school records in less than a day and even got a new state record in the 500.
Oh, and I won every single one of my events. So that was icing on the cake.
My times surpassed my goal times for the end of the season. I was so proud of myself, especially given my pretty crappy past couple of weeks. I’d triumphed—much to my surprise. I proved to myself that I could still come back after veering a little off track from my strict schedule. World champs, I’m ready for you, and I’m ready for a medal.
After my races, I talked to a few reporters from all over the state, even a reporter from Swimming World, the Sports Illustrated of swimming. What I just did at states put me on cloud nine. I felt invincible. I felt as if I could achieve anything. I didn’t even care if Riley was the only one who didn’t congratulate me on my accomplishments. Nothing could bring me down.
When I came home from Ithaca College, the happiness inside almost blew out of me when I spotted Kennedy’s red Jetta parked in our driveway. Liam’s bedroom was lit up behind the closed curtains. I had no idea why she was over at my house with him—who had given her the silent treatment ever since the Valentine’s Day Encounter™—but she’d texted me two hours before, asking what time I was going to be home, so I just assumed she wanted to see me.
Murmurs from his room carried down the hallway as I crept up the stairs, hoping the reason why Kennedy was over was so she and Liam could mend their broken friendship. Liam’s door was open, and when I popped my head in, I found Kennedy in his computer chair and Liam tossing a stress ball up and down while lying on his bed. Kennedy’s face lit up. Her smile was so contagious.
“Oh hey, swimming prodigy,” she said.
“What are you doing here?”
“I have my reasons. One of them is in your room; the other is right here.” She pointed to Liam. He saluted.
“Is he done being an ass?”
“For the most part,” she said. “We had a very much-needed chat. Right, Liam?”
“Yeah. She practically dragged it out of me.” He tossed the ball to her. I wanted to spit up just a little bit because I knew that was his way of flirting, but like the top-notch goalkeeper she was, she snatched the ball in her right palm before it could hit her face, and she chucked it at his knee.
“Now, go to your room,” she told me.
“Am I being disciplined?”
Liam coughed a gagging noise. Kennedy just giggled and smacked his foot.
“More like being rewarded.” She batted her eyebrows.
Just to make Liam uncomfortable for my own entertainment, I continued, “It’s not much of a reward if you’re not in there.”
Liam chucked the stress ball at me. It hit my knee. “Oh my God, just go to your room, or I’m gonna call Mom and Dad and ruin their bar night because you brought a girl over.”
I knew his threat was a joke. I could sense fake anger in his voice.
So, I followed what I was told to do. When I flipped the lights on to my room, I found a bouquet of flowers in a glass vase—white lilies, baby pink roses, and lavender statice. Next to the vase was a Swensons to-go bag and large milkshake cup, scenting my room with a fried chicken sandwich and a large French fry, the very order I’d been craving since the night we talked at Swensons.
She really knew the way to my heart.
“Kennedy Renee Reed!” I shouted for her to come in my room as I buried my hand in the to-go bag, shoving a handful of French fries in my mouth. I think after breaking three school records in a weekend and pretty much signing myself to the finals in the world champs, shoving a large handful of fatty, salted fries in my mouth was the perfect award.
“Yes?”
Still chomping on the fries, I went over to her standing in my doorway and squeezed her. She was my other award. The million-dollar check to the golden trophy.
“Flowers and Swensons? This is so romantic,” I said and kissed her cheek.
“Well, you deserve all of it. Fat indulgences to celebrate swimming being over and all your records. And flowers because I thought they were pretty, and you’re kinda pretty, and I’m so proud of you.”
I swallowed the fries and yanked on her shirt to pull her in for an actual kiss. “Thank you,” I said. “Really. You didn’t have to do this.”
“I know, but I wanted to. Plus, it’s pretty hot that you broke your state record.”
“Oh yeah? Can you show me?”
She bit her lip, so I pushed her onto my bed, climbed on top of her, and kissed her. I snuck my hands up her shirt, feeling how my touch ignited the goose bumps on her skin. I loved so much knowing that I had the power to do that. She grabbed hold of the back of my hair, and when I nibbled on her bottom lip, she let out a soft moan, and I felt her mouth forming a grin.
“Oh my God, I’m dialing Mom’s number right now,” Liam shouted from the hallway as he headed downstairs, a slight teasing tone ringing in his voice.
“But I can’t help it,” I said softly to Kennedy. “Your lips are like crack.”
She wiggled her neatly shaped eyebrows up and down, and we repositioned ourselves so we could sit incredibly close to each other while sharing Swensons.
“You know what we really need to do?” she said as she stole some fries from the bag.
“Make out?”
She smiled. “I would like to resume that, yes, but I was thinking more of, like, a date.”
“A date?” My eyes widened. “Out in public?”
I felt as if I could explode in happiness. Was Kennedy finally ready to flaunt our love in public? Telling Jennifer had to be a sign. Reconciling with Liam had to be another. Of course I wanted to go on a date with her.
“No, sheltered in your room. Of course out in public. I wanna date you.”
“What about people finding out?”
“Well, I figured maybe we can go somewhere outside Aspen Grove. That might be a good step for me, I think. I already told my best friend; Liam seems to be okay with it now, and I really just wanna spend time with you that’s not trapped in my room. Going out in a neutral zone is just another step to being more honest and open about someone who I’m super crazy about.”
My cheeks warmed up. “You’re super crazy about me?”
“Is it really not obvious? I spent my lemonade money on you!”
I washed my mouth with a large gulp of the chocolate malt and pulled her cheek to my lips. “It’s obvious. I’m pretty crazy about you too. And this date idea? The most genius idea you’ve ever come up with!”
“I know! Why can’t that be considered my final exam?”
“I would love to date you. I think I know the perfect spot.”
“Really? Let’s do it next Saturday!”
“Okay, but I’m keeping it a surprise.”
“I’ll dress nicely. Be prepared for any scenario.”
I gave her a soft kiss on the lips. “You always look nice, even when you’re not trying.”
What she didn’t know was that she only needed to say, “I wanna date you,” and within thirty seconds, I already constructed the perfect date night to sweep her off her feet, and I couldn’t wait.