Chapter 5

 

All was silent for a few moments as, I imagined, Reaper tried to think of a response.

Not that I care, but why didn’t they save Miko? Beverly asked Jimmy and me. I can’t believe they just let him burn like that.

Maybe it happened too fast. Jimmy looked at Beverly, then at me. Though that was pretty incredible. I have to admit, I never saw anything like it before.

Oh, it was nothing. And when I say “nothing,” dear reader, I’m lying through my aching teeth. But I’m not surprised they didn’t come to Miko’s aid. They knew the fire would kill them as well. Somehow, I suspect they’re not the types to go to pieces over someone else’s death.

Finally, we heard Reaper call out:

“All right, you got our attention, mage.” He sounded more irritated than anything else. “But this isn’t your fight. Walk away now, skinny boy. Don’t be a hero.”

“It just comes naturally to some of us,” I replied. Beverly shot me a dirty look, and Jimmy thrust his palms out as if to say, “What the hell?” But it wasn’t my fault their enemies were goading me.

“Why are you even here, Mr. Alderman?” Carly asked. “What’s your stake in all this?”

“What?” I said innocently. “Can’t a bloke just be nice?”

“Not in my experience, no,” said Carly.

“Ah, then you haven’t lived very long, have you?”

“No one risks their life unless they have something to gain,” said Reaper. “So we’ll ask you one more time: Why are you really here?”

“My, but you’re nosy.” I rubbed my temples in a fruitless effort to relieve my headache. “What are you, the PIA?”

“The what?” asked Carly.

“Oh, come now. Surely you’ve heard of the Paranormal Investigation Agency,” I said. “Careful—any more violent outbursts like the ones we’re having, and they’re likely to come running with their cameras and notebooks. Or laptops. Whatever they’re using these days.”

“You really think we’re afraid of a few snooping mortals?” Reaper said. “We’d tear them limb from limb if they so much as set foot in here.”

“Trust me,” I said drily. “I’ve had a few run-ins with them myself. They’re not exactly easy to dispatch.”

“Speaking of dispatching,” said Carly, “I’m not so sure we should let him go, Reaper.”

“You’re right,” I said. “I killed Miko. Well, Jimmy and I did. Surely you want revenge.”

Are you out of your mind? Jimmy said. Are you trying to get us tortured as well as killed?

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Carly scoffed. “He was just extra muscle. It’s not as if we cared about him.”

I gave Beverly and Jimmy a look. Told you so.

“But we can’t let you go because you might tell mortals about us,” Carly continued. “What if they find out what I am?”

“Oh, I think it’s already clear you’re a bitch,” I said pleasantly. Jimmy squeezed his eyes shut, but my words seemed to embolden Beverly.

“He’s right,” she said before Carly could think of a retort. “So why don’t you stop being a spiteful harpy for ten seconds and tell us where the statue is. This vindictive game has gone on long enough.”

“Exactly.” Jimmy regained his composure. “No one else has to die here tonight.” Though Beverly and Jimmy didn’t catch it, I saw Carly give Reaper a knowing smile.

“Oh, we’ll see about that,” she said. With inhuman speed, she drew something from Reaper’s pocket and threw it at us.

It happened so fast, I didn’t even see her pull the pin, no doubt with a perfectly manicured nail. I didn’t even hear the clink of it hitting the ground. All I saw was the grenade falling at our feet, and everyone’s eyes growing wide with horror. At that point, I did what any sensible mage would do.

I grabbed it and threw it back.

No sooner did it leave my hand than we heard a deafening explosion. Pieces of glass and metal flew toward us. We all ducked and covered our heads as the debris rained down. The grenade had hit the shelf of cars where Carly and Reaper were standing.

It took several long moments before the wreckage stopped falling, and we all coughed from the smoke that filled the air. Scratches covered our hands, arms, and faces, though the vampires’ wounds would heal in no time. Mine would take longer.

And Carly was still alive. The blast knocked her to the side of the room, where the back of her dress caught on a robot arm. The dress was shredded. Carly’s face and limbs were covered in dark smudges, her finely coiffed hair now like a wild dog’s. She was thrashing around furiously to tear herself away from the robot. At any moment, she would succeed.

“Quick!” cried Jimmy. “Don’t let her get away!” I stretched out my hand, and the robot arm swung out, sending her sprawling to the floor a few feet from us. I was about to hit her with a bolt of magic when she jumped up and tried to grab Jimmy, who was closer. She looked truly unhinged. She emitted hideous, angry shrieks, her bared fangs and broken nails almost at Jimmy’s throat.

But Beverly was faster. In what seemed like a single motion, she ripped the door off a car husk and slammed it over Carly. It pinned her arms to her sides in a sea of twisted metal. She screamed and writhed, the steel tearing into her flesh, rivers of blood running off the door. Beverly didn’t even hesitate before she grabbed Carly’s head and tore it from her shoulders.

Jimmy and I looked on, slack-jawed, as Carly’s body and the car door hit the ground with a thud and a screech. And no, vampires don’t turn into neat little piles of ash when they are killed, unless they’re burned like Miko. Though it would be very convenient if they did.

Panting hard, Beverly threw Carly’s head next to her body. She joined us back behind the van, blood soaking the front of her dress and legs.

“Well . . . damn.” There was a hint of pride in Jimmy’s voice. “You saved me. Ah, thank you.”

“No trouble.” Beverly wiped her hands over one another to rid them of blood and car grime. Then she turned to me. “Of course, I wouldn’t have had to if you hadn’t been crazy enough to pick up that grenade. What on earth were you thinking?”

“Isn’t it obvious, Bev?” said Jimmy. “Since vampires are known for exceptional speed—including when we throw grenades—it allowed Joshua a few precious seconds to throw the grenade back before it went off.”

“Hmmm . . . then I have to admit,” Beverly said to me reluctantly, “it was clever of you to think of that.”

“Ah, yes.” I nodded quickly. “Quite clever.” Because no one in their right mind would pick up a live grenade, now, would they?

“Though I have to say,” I jutted my chin at the now-headless Carly, “I wouldn’t have expected a bomb attack from someone dressed like a businesswoman.”

Jimmy stared at Carly’s body with me. “I guess she really did mean business.”

The smoke had completely cleared now, and we heard Reaper coughing at the other end of the room. Inwardly, I swore. I was hoping he hadn’t survived. Apparently, he was stubborn that way.

“As you can plainly see, Reaper, this isn’t like the other times,” Jimmy called, his voice a warning. “I think we’ve proven we’re serious. Now, tell us where the statue is.”

“Yes, please do,” I said. “Then we can go back to what we were doing, and you can go back to pillaging or plundering or however you spend your nights.”

Finally, Reaper caught his breath, and I peered around the side of the van. I saw he was in much the same state as Carly had been before we killed her. His hair was in disarray, and sooty smudges covered his face and chest. A good part of his clothing had been torn, burned, or both. Yet, for all that, Reaper was relatively unharmed—and in no mood to impart the statue’s location.

“Okay,” he rasped before his voice returned to normal. “So you’ve got a few tricks up your sleeve. Still, you’re not exactly the most magical creature I’ve ever seen. You look like a government clerk.” He walked closer to the van. I stepped in front of it, staring hard at him before Beverly and Jimmy joined me. There were only about thirty feet between us now. “When you said you were a mage,” he continued, “I expected a tall, pointy hat and a robe with stars.”

“That’s a wizard, you moron,” I said. “And only in fiction. Besides, I’m not one for accessories. Though I could say the same about you. Rather an awkward thing to carry around, that sword.” I raised my eyebrows at the weapon he’d managed to keep strapped to his back, despite the explosion. “Is there a Renaissance faire around here I don’t know about?”

“Not exactly.” Reaper grinned in that way I knew spelled trouble. “It’s just that I couldn’t help but go browsing when we got into town. After all, it was just sitting there among all those other lovely treasures on loan from the museum. Like this one.” He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a tiny statue on a pedestal.

A statue of a jade monkey.

Beverly gasped, Jimmy gave a cry of outrage, and I tried to keep my jaw from hitting the floor.

“You . . . you had it the whole time?” Beverly’s voice got higher and angrier with each word.

“You sneaky son of a—” Jimmy started.

“Oh, stop.” Reaper walked back and forth from shelf to shelf. “To be fair, I didn’t have it all the other times you asked. We only managed to get it tonight, before that mortal gallery opening started. Thanks for the floor show, by the way.” He laughed and shook his head. “It was hilarious watching you buffoons searching, panicking. And when you thought the mage and his friend had it . . .” He was laughing even harder now, almost doubled over. I was tempted to kill him right then, while he wasn’t paying attention. But he stood up too quickly.

“We stopped following you once you hit the alley,” he continued, “but we knew it was only a matter of time till you came here.”

“You were spying on us?” Jimmy said in disbelief.

“You’re really surprised?” Reaper cocked his head. “Does that make me a bad person?”

“No, being a sociopath makes you a bad person,” I said through gritted teeth. “Rather comes with the territory.”

“Indeed,” said Rattler. Then he smiled at Beverly and Jimmy. “But speaking of sociopaths, shouldn’t you be more worried about the one waiting at the Drake? I hear he’s got nasty things in mind for both of you if you don’t deliver something tonight. Very nasty things.” He glanced at the statue in his hand. “I considered destroying it, of course. But then I thought, how much more fun would it be to torment you? To hold it just out of your grasp?”

What are we waiting for? Beverly asked Jimmy and me. It’s three against one. Why don’t we just take him?

Wait, don’t, I said. This feels off. He’s too confident. He might have something up his sleeve.

Reaper looked from one of us to the other. I knew my block prevented him from reading our minds. But apparently, he’d still gathered what we were thinking.

“Yeees, why don’t you come and get this little item?” He shook the statue back and forth between his fingers. I saw Beverly give a start, trying to resist the urge to run forward.

It’s so close! Jimmy’s whole body tensed, like a coil ready to spring.

“Don’t,” I said out loud, fixing my gaze on Reaper. “It’s just what he wants.”

Now Beverly turned to me, nostrils flaring. “Remember, mage, nothing’s changed no matter how much you’ve helped us so far. If we don’t get that statue, this night will be your lover’s last. He’ll die where we left him, tied up in that chair.”

“He?” Reaper hooted, his eyes widening. “Your lover’s a he? That’s who the other man at the gallery was?”

“It’s not as romantic as she’s making it sound.” I glared at Beverly. “And the he or she of it depends on my mood. But that doesn’t matter, because the only person left to die tonight is you.”

Reaper nodded, his face taking on a smug look. “Now we get to it. That’s why you’re here. They’ve got your sweetheart waiting in the wings. Well, don’t worry. I’m not as weak as Miko and Carly. I’ll not only dispense with your crew, I’ll find your little boyfriend and come after him as well.”

“You may want to reconsider that,” I said. “He’s got angry lawyers.”

Reaper chuckled again. “You have spirit, mage. I’ll give you that. But do you know how many people have come looking for this silly thing, even when I didn’t have it?” He held the statue up to the light, turning it round and round in his hand. “I’ve managed to do away with each and every one of them. What makes you think you won’t die like all the others?”

“Oh, I’m not one to follow trends,” I replied. Reaper put the statue back in his pocket.

“Do you want to know what I’m going to do next?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” I sighed, exasperated. “Twirl your moustache and tie a maiden to a set of train tracks?”

You’re wasting time! Jimmy said. You should be thinking of a plan. One look from Beverly and I could tell she agreed.

I am trying to think of a plan! I resisted the urge to rub my temples again. I was gathering as much magic as I could, not letting Reaper see. I’m also trying to determine what his plan is.

“Again with the whole playing-the-hero thing,” Reaper said. “You’re a mage, for whatever that’s worth. At least you’re not a mere mortal. You have powers. You could be off pursuing excitement in whatever way you like. With whomever you like. Look at our kind, for instance. We draw mortals to our sides like magnets. Then we take what we want and move on. Simple.”

It was difficult to listen to Reaper’s drivel, but at least now, I had enough magic to get a weapon. I turned around, reached out, and with a great deal of effort ripped one of the metal poles out of the wall. Yes, the same one I’d nearly been run through with earlier. I quickly turned back to face Reaper, holding the pole horizontally with both hands. Beverly and Jimmy cried out in surprise. Reaper barely blinked.

“Did it ever occur to you that apathy isn’t one of your more attractive traits?” I asked him. “That the whole been-there-done-that-got-the-T-shirt attitude is a real turnoff? Apathy typically denotes a lack of passion for life.” I shook my head. “Lack of passion. I can’t think of anything less sexy.”

“So you’re saying that caring is sexy?” Reaper started laughing again.

“Why, yes. I guess I am.”

Reaper’s laugh ended in a derisive snort. “Fine. So you care. You know what that makes you? A fool. A sucker, that’s what.”

I narrowed my eyes at him for a moment, then took a step back. “I suppose you’re right. I could be running from one hedonistic pleasure to the next instead of trying to do good in the world. Maybe that does make me a sucker. But you know what else it makes me? Unusual. Whereas you are about as mundane and . . . clichéd as it gets.”

The smile faded from Reaper’s face, and he fixed his mouth in a line. “Look, I’ve had enough of this whole philosophical conver—”

I didn’t let Reaper finish. Taking him by surprise, I surged forward and impaled him with the pole.

“So am I.” My voice was heavy with the effort it had taken to run him into the wall.

“Now give me that monkey!”

Really, dear reader. The things you never thought you’d say in your life.