Nancy came to Jeff's office a little after lunch. Jeff asked her to clear the rest of her day, “just in case.” He knew the request might unnerve her since she didn't know the purpose of the meeting. But he decided it would be worth the temporary stress to have enough time to discern whether she was open to change and perhaps to get the process started.
Nancy sat down in one of the chairs facing Uncle Bob's big desk, and Jeff thought she seemed less than happy to be there.
“How are you, Nancy?” he asked, with considerable interest and kindness.
“I'm fine, Jeff.” Her response was just barely more than curt. “How do you like your new job?”
Though she didn't seem to be interested in an answer, Jeff responded as though she were dying to know. “It's a little more challenging than I thought, but I've got better people working with me than I could have imagined.”
Nancy nodded, as if to say good for you.
Jeff dove in, determined to be as confident as he was kind. “So, the reason I asked you to come see me is to talk to you about your career at VB and your development.”
She seemed confused and detached all at once.
Jeff thought about his conversation with Ted and went for broke. “Nancy, you know that teamwork is one of our values and that it's really important to Bob, right along with safety and quality.”
She nodded. Nothing else.
Jeff went on. “Well, we're going to continue that focus, and even step it up a little around teamwork, especially given the fact that we're going to be taking on a lot more work this year, with the hotel in St. Helena and the wing at Queen of the Valley Hospital.”
He continued. “The only way we're going to be able to staff those projects and get them done is if we make sure that everyone is working as a team.”
Jeff noticed that Nancy began to roll her eyes just briefly, which provoked him to address her objections. “Now, this isn't anything touchy-feely. You don't know me, Nancy, but I'm not a fan of hugging or holding hands or catching people falling out of a tree.”
For the first time, he saw the glimpse of a smile from Nancy. It was gone as fast as it appeared.
“Anyway, I want to make sure that all of the people we hire, and all the people who work here, understand what we mean by being a team player and that they really want to be one. And I'm starting with people in leadership positions.”
More nodding from Nancy, but no sign of interest. Jeff knew that was about to change.
“So, Clare and Bobby and I have been working hard lately to define exactly what we mean by a team player, and we've settled on three words.”
Jeff stood and went to the whiteboard. “Team players have three things in common. They are humble, hungry, and smart.” He wrote the words on the whiteboard and returned to his chair.
Nothing from Nancy, so Jeff pushed on.
“Humble is pretty obvious. We can't abide big egos. Hungry is all about working hard and being passionate about our work. And smart has to do with being aware of the people around you and dealing with them in a positive, functional way.”
It was clear that Nancy was beginning to process things in her mind, but she wasn't ready to make any comments. So Jeff asked the sixty-four-thousand-dollar question.
“How do you think you stack up against these qualities?”
Now Nancy moved in her chair.
To make it easier for her to loosen up, Jeff added, “And we all struggle in one or more of these areas from time to time.”
That seemed to be the impetus Nancy needed.
“Well, anyone that works with me for more than a few minutes will say I'm hungry. That would be my strongest area, I'm sure.” Nancy paused to check on Jeff's reaction.
He nodded and added, “I'd say that's obvious.”
“And though Craig might disagree, I don't think that being humble is a problem for me. I mean, that might sound arrogant, but I don't think I have a particularly big ego.”
“Actually,” Jeff replied, “Craig said the same thing about you.”
Nancy seemed genuinely surprised. “Really?”
“Absolutely. He told me himself.”
With a slightly but undeniably higher level of confidence, she began, “Well then, I'd have to say that I'm not that good at social interaction, which is the smart part, right?”
Jeff nodded. “That's right.” He decided not to say anything else, wanting Nancy to continue.
She did. “Frankly, I just don't spend a lot of energy on being nice all the time. I'd rather focus on getting things done. Some people don't like that, I guess.”
Jeff was slightly incredulous. “Let me get this straight, Nancy. You think it's a waste of energy to be nice to people?”
Nancy didn't answer him, so he continued.
“We're not talking about giving each other back rubs and hugs.”
Nancy laughed. “Okay, it's not that I don't want to be nice.” She seemed to be searching for a way to explain her way out of the situation. “I don't know.”
Jeff asked his next question gently. “Nancy, do you know how others receive the things you say to them?”
After considering the question for a moment, she responded. “The thing is, people who aren't socially smart probably aren't very good at knowing it. Otherwise, they'd be better at it.”
Jeff laughed. “I'd say you're right about that.”
Nancy went on. “So, as much as I'd like to say that I'm willing to work on that . . . ,”
She paused, and Jeff thought she was going to tell him that she wasn't interested in whatever he was offering.
And then she finished. “I'm going to need help from someone to get better.” She paused, and then said the three most important words of all: “But I'll try.”
Jeff wanted to jump up and hug Nancy, but figured she'd probably throw him to the floor.
“Nancy, that's all I can ask.”