Chapter Five
Beth texted me a picture of a lovely panoramic for the living room that I just had to have, and I lifted my phone above the bookcase I was currently painting in the light of day. She had a gift, as from the tiny image, it appeared to match perfectly with the colour schemes. I approved her choice and without much else said, she mentioned it would be sent ASAP. She was also going to bring out some other staging materials and prep for a quick photo op, but only stay for one night.
I rolled my eyes since she hadn’t given me a date at all, but at least it would be a visit. I missed my friend.
I went back to painting the top inside of the bookcase when a knock sounded on my door.
“Just a second,” I hollered back, hopped down off the stepladder, and turned down the music. “Yes?”
A strange man from the hardware store stood at my door. “Lily Davies?” He read my name off the clipboard and ran his gaze up and down my body. After I stopped visiting Cheshire Bay, I changed my name to my mother’s maiden name.
“Yes.”
He tipped his head to the side and stared at me hard, a look of recognition blooming as it clicked. “Wait a sec, you’re Lily Baker. Miss Long Beach 2003. I used to have the calendar. Oh my god. The guys will go wild when they find out.”
Not one of my finest moments, but I refused to go there. At least the calendar raised money for a local charity, so it wasn’t a complete joke.
“Can I help you?”
“It’s me, Josh.”
The name didn’t ring a bell. At all. Even as I tried remembering if I’d ever seen his face before. The kid looked a few years younger than me.
“Josh Mulaney?” His voiced cracked with excitement. “I worked at Scoops.”
“Oh, hi.” The name, swirling with weak memories of him and his buddies around a campfire smoking weed floated into my brain, as did the other, more unpleasant ones. The dancing. The kissing. The sex. I shuddered.
His eyes settled on my bump, and suddenly he was all business, which admittedly, was perfectly okay by me. “I’m here to deliver your fridge and haul the old one away.”
“Finally. Wasn’t that supposed to arrive yesterday?”
Island time was a whole different ballgame, but still. I had been expecting this to arrive at least twenty-four hours ago.
I stepped aside. “I’ve cleared a path.”
Now it was time to make myself scarce, and I grabbed an apple to munch on the deck while Josh did his work.
When all was said and done, he passed me the work order and his card.
“If you’d like to join our Canada Day Bash, my number is on the back. The guys and I are always up for a good time.” The wink he gave me made me uncomfortable, and I took a step back.
I waved the card. “Well, thank you.”
He tipped his hat and headed back outside.
I closed and locked the door, gagging at the thought of being thirty and slutty. My past was in the past. Who I was at fifteen and sixteen was a far cry from who I am now. Maybe coming to the beach house was a bad idea.
Hours later, after verifying my new fridge was cooling properly, I went to the grocery store just off the strip and selected a wide variety of perishables and dairy products, while simultaneously trying to ignore the whispers, most of which came from people I didn’t recognise. Why hadn’t I physically changed as much as everyone else had? At the bare minimum, I should’ve dyed my hair to a dark brown instead of leaving it the sun-kissed blonde it had always been.
Every aisle, there was another snide remark.
I told you she was back.
Wonder what’s she doing here, thought we made it clear she wasn’t welcome.
Tramp.
Look at her, all knocked up. Getting what she deserves. Heard her husband left her. What trash.
I ignored them or at least didn’t give them any indication I’d been privy to their comments, even if some of it was inaccurate. He was my ex-boyfriend, not my ex-husband, but in the grand scheme of things, I was still on my own.
I set my groceries by the cashier, who looked at me as if I’d just sprouted two horns and spit all over my items.
“Thought it was you.” There was so much vitriol in her voice.
Her nametag read Kim, and all I pictured was Jordan’s older sister, but the ages didn’t seem to match up. That Kim was my age, a goodie-two-shoes like Mona, but the person before me seemed at least ten years older.
I continued to stack my items on one end and raced to the other side to bag them, since she was piling them up. Rather than make a scene, I loaded the three bags back into my cart and handed her my credit card.
“No credit. Cash only.” She rolled her eyes and turned her nose up like a putrid smell rolled off me.
Since when? I checked the sign hanging above to verify I hadn’t stepped into a cash only line. I hadn’t. “I don’t have that much cash.”
“Then put something back.”
A line formed behind me.
“Are you sure you won’t accept the credit card?” I lifted it again to show her.
“I said cash only.” She crossed her arms over her ample chest.
I dug through my purse, coming up with about half of what I needed.
The guy in line directly behind me sighed.
I apologised profusely and started pulling items out of my bag, things I didn’t need tonight at least. I’d come back later for them. One by one, Kim slowly deducted them off the bill, giving me a total I had the right cash for. I handed her the bills.
She took each and ran a blacklight over them. “Checking for counterfeit.”
For crying out loud.
I wanted to scream, but instead, I bit my tongue to the point where I drew blood. She dropped the change into my hand, which I barely caught, and tossed my receipt. Even if I wanted to explain I wasn’t responsible for Jordan’s death, as his death had been ruled non-criminal and an accident, I held back. Swallowing the pity I had for her as she clearly wasn’t going to let it go, I simply picked up the paper and tucked it into my bag.
I wasn’t ten feet away when the guy behind me spoke. “Who the hell was that?”
“Lily Baker.”
“She’s back?”
“Bitch can go to hell.”
I froze for a heartbeat but kept walking out to my jeep. It wasn’t until I pulled in front of my house that I allowed the dam to break, and the tears to flood. A part of me wanted to call the manager and voice a complaint, but I wasn’t sure what that would accomplish, except put another target on my back. I rested my head against the steering wheel, giving into the feelings. As I reached for a tissue, I spotted Eric waving.
I sent a half-hearted wave back in his direction.
He pointed and gestured via sign language asking if I was okay.
Wiping my eyes, I hopped out. “Sorry, just having a girl moment. Pregnancy hormones and all.”
His brows pinched together, and he walked over. “Really? That’s some hormones.”
A glance at my reflection was enough to confirm and agree. My eyes were puffy and red. I was not one of those girls who cried pretty. Every cry turned me into an ugly disaster, and the raccoon eyes didn’t help. I ran my fingers under my eyes and wiped away the moisture and blackness. Walking to the back of the Jeep, I lifted the end gate and grabbed a bag. “I’m fine, honestly.”
“Where’d you go shopping?” He handled one of the reusable bags with a logo from a small Italian bakery four blocks from my apartment.
“Houseman’s.”
The name must’ve been explanation enough as he dropped his questions and brought the bags in behind me. I stopped and stared at the kind gesture, I hadn’t expected him to follow.
“Sorry. I maybe should’ve asked if you needed a hand.”
“It’s nice of you to help out.” I put the bags on the counter and started unloading. “When did they switch to a cash only system?”
Eric was checking out my paint job, but he stopped and spun around. “What? No one ever uses cash.”
I slammed the fridge after putting in a jug of milk, rattling a stack of Mom’s favourite dishes. I hadn’t thrown everything away. “For real?”
He stepped back. “Yeah. Who told you that?”
I shook my head, regretting my desire to get out of Houseman’s rather than speak to a manager. “It doesn’t matter.”
Next time, I’d go in armed with more cash just to have her think she’d caught me off guard. Even if it was more than that.
Eric handed me a bag of lettuce. “I’m going to have a few people over tonight and have a fire out on the beach. You’re welcome to come join me. Us, I mean.” The invite lingered in the air.
A fire would be great, and I certainly enjoyed Eric’s company, but there would be others, and after today… “I don’t know.” I searched his face for answers.
“If it helps, they’re friends of mine.”
“Will they remember me?” It was a terrible thing to ask because it sounded like I was self-centered.
Fifteen years ago, I was a horribly shallow bitch, but no one seemed to understand how that was a long time ago, and sometimes stupid people did selfish things and yet grow up to be decent adults.
“Unlikely, since most of them are relatively new, as in since we became adults.” He shrugged and passed me a bag of bagels. “Sylvia’s has much nicer, and larger, bagels.”
“I know, I just forgot.” I stared out my kitchen window, right into the side of Eric’s but I couldn’t bare to look at him.
“You okay?”
“Yeah. I’m just peachy.” I hung my head for a moment to catch my breath and ground myself. Shaking off the pity party building, I turned slowly and inhaled to a count of five. “What do you think of the paint job? Do you think the colour works?”
His gaze raked me in, but he refocused on the freshly painted wall. “Looks great. This the same colour you used upstairs?”
“All inside walls have this smoke colour, yep.”
“I like it.” He stepped around a pile of books and a table full of old knickknacks, nearly falling into the sofa to avoid it all. “What are you doing with this stuff?”
“Don’t know. I’ll probably pack up most of it since it doesn’t mean anything to me. I tend to be a minimalist and clutter hurts my soul on a level most wouldn’t understand.”
He laughed. “Don’t take too long a look at my place then.”
It hadn’t been that bad when I was there. Sure, it was a little cluttered, but it wasn’t overwhelming. Not like how I felt looking at my own living room in its current condition.
“I assure you, it was fine.”
A buzzer sounded from the back of his jean pocket. “Oops. I gotta run. I have a charter flight leaving in an hour for Seattle. I’ll be back for the bonfire tonight. While I’m gone, consider joining us?” His offer was so sweet, as was the gentle pleading tone he used. “We’re a tame bunch – too old to truly party it up.”
That alone tipped the scales in his favour, but I wasn’t about to give in yet. “I’ll think about it.”
“It’s a start.” He gave me a little wave and the screen door banged as he left.