Chapter Six

 

I didn’t sing along with the carolers, but Jesse sure did. He was tone deaf and off key, but clearly didn’t care. It was charming, if not a little hard to listen to, but I found myself entranced watching him feel the words and sing with all his heart.

He stepped back to me when the carolers closed their books and moved further down the street. “Sorry, I just love that song. Couldn’t help myself.”

Never again will I be able to hear ‘Deck the Halls’ without seeing Jesse giving it his all.

“How come you weren’t singing?”

“Too busy taking in the moment.”

His gaze roamed up and down, and he tipped his head to the side. “Hmm… Okay.” He checked his watch. “Oh, shoot. I need to go. See you back at my place in a bit?”

I understood the need to go, but if I was being honest, I didn’t want him to leave.

“Sure thing. I need to pick up a couple of items and then go pick up my car.” I shifted my bags into my other hand.

He paused and stepped closer. “What did Lenny say?”

“He’ll have a tire for me on the twenty-seventh.”

“Wow, although that’s expected. This isn’t a major city.”

“Yeah. He said he’s going to the mainland for the holiday, but he’ll be back on the twenty-sixth and will install a fresh set the next morning. After that, I’ll be good to go.”

It was only four days from now, and with Christmas and a wedding, no doubt the time would fly by anyway.

“Perfect.” Jesse stood there, rocking back and forth.

“I’m keeping you. Go.”

He rocked forward once again; mouth slightly parted as if he had something to say. Instead, he took off with a wave. “See you around two.”

He crossed the street and hustled down it, turning the corner.

So far, having lunch with Jesse counted as the best lunch date I’d had in months. Years even.

# # #

 

I pulled in front of Jesse’s house shortly after two and was just replying to a couple of emails when his red pickup came into sight.

He hopped out and did a double take at me sitting in my car, so I closed out of my phone and got out. “You know you’re welcome to go in. That’s why I gave you a spare.”

“And I did.” Earlier. “But I just got here and had to answer a few things.”

We walked to the steps and he unlocked the door, opening it for me to go into first. I hung back near the entrance, methodically hanging my jacket in the closet as he headed into the kitchen, unsure of what his true reaction would be to the groceries.

“Damn,” he drawled out and whistled as he took in the full pantry, fridge, and a giant bowl of fresh fruit. “This must’ve set you back a fortune.”

“It wasn’t that bad.” For a small-town grocery store. It was nuts though for city prices. “Besides, you’re going to get scurvy if you don’t get enough vitamin C, so there are plenty of oranges and apples and grapefruit to get you through the next few days.”

“I do love a good mandarin.” He grabbed a green tissue paper wrapped orange from the bowl on his island. “Care for one?”

“Sure.” I snatched it from the air with a perfect catch. Peeling it, the citrus smell bloomed in the air and put a spring in my step.

“You really didn’t have to do this, you know.”

I swallowed down a hearty bite. “I swear I didn’t mind. My dad did it once for me, and I know what it’s like to be down a little.”

“I’ll be paid at the end of the month. I had enough food.” His tone turned defensive as he leaned against the cupboards.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to overstep.” I backed away, wondering where I should go. Up to my room? Back out to the car? Maybe over to Lily’s?

“Hey, I’m the one who’s sorry.” He crossed his arms over his tight chest and a sadness creased the corners of his eyes. “I’m just not used to having someone do things like this. Not for me.”

A smile leaked out the edges of my lips. “Ditto.”

He inched his way toward me. “Business isn’t too busy these days, which really is a good thing. Means people are healthier and taking care of themselves.”

“That is a good thing.” Until I remembered his job. If no one was dying, then he wasn’t busy, and if he wasn’t busy, then the income was likely a reflection of that. “Ah,” I said in understanding.

“In the meantime, I’ve been working at the tree farm on the edge of town, but that’s starting to wrap up with the end of the season. Not too many people buying Christmas trees two days before the big day. But I swear I can pay you back.”

“Jesse,” I said, putting my proverbial foot down but my hand on his strong arm. “It was a gift, so no, you may not pay me back.”

Sincerity flowed out in my words and bounced back in the form of a warm smile stretching across Jesse’s face.

“Well…” He inhaled. “Thank you very much. I truly appreciate it.”

It was clear to see he did. “My pleasure.” My shoulders fell and my soul had an extra beat to it. I was happy to help him out. It felt good to return the favour. “So, since we have some time to kill before I whip you a fabulous supper, what are some fun things to do around here? I’m sure things have changed quite a bit since my teenage years.”

“Do you know how to skate?”

 

# # #

 

We parked his red pickup in the parking lot of the only school in town and exited. A small shack had been erected at the edge of the lot, along with dozens of benches. I rented some skates and pulled my toque down low enough to cover my ears, hopefully giving me a wee bit of cuteness before we pushed off from the bench.

It had been years since I’d donned a pair of skates, but like the proverbial saying – it was just like riding a bike. After a couple of glides and some wiggly arms to help me regain my balance, I found my groove.

Jesse, on the other hand, looked as if he was born on skates. Every push off seemed effortless, and he flipped from skating forward to gliding in reverse with ease.

“You’re good at this.” As my own glides lacked the strength to get me very far. I had to skate twice as hard as him to keep up.

“I come here all the time. It’s great exercise and it’s a good way to burn off the doldrums of the day.”

“I can only imagine. Seeing people in deep sadness and overwhelming grief must be draining.” I ran out of energy and plopped myself down on a bench.

Jesse sprayed ice to the edge of the rink as he came to a halt and joined me. “It can be. But I try not to take it personally. If I can work in the background and make sure everything is as perfect as can be, I call it a win. I don’t need to interact with the mourners, and only need to meet with the loved ones when we are making the arrangements.”

“With your compassion, I’m sure they appreciate all that you do.”

A faint blush reddened his cheeks, and he tugged on his mittens. “I just try to treat people how they deserve to be treated. With dignity and respect.”

A teenage boy skated by. “Hey, Mr. Lancaster.”

“Merry Christmas, Jordan.” He turned back to me. “He works at the grocer. Small town, right?”

“Very much so. I live in Vancouver, and I wouldn’t be able to guess the names of those who bag my groceries or pour my coffee.”

“Quite different though. Turnover is probably pretty high, but here, people tend to keep their jobs as job possibilities aren’t endless.” He waved at another skater.

“Where did you live before you moved here?”

“Richmond.”

“That’s pretty big. Lots of jobs there.”

He shrugged. “Maybe now. But not a few years ago. And definitely not in my field. What about you? Did you give up being a full-time homemaker and are now just starting out in accounting?”

Having rested, I patted his thigh and pushed myself back onto the two blades.

“C’mon. I’ll race you.” I scrambled to dig my toe pick in and go as fast as I could around the oval, but it wasn’t a few strides until I heard the telltale sound of blades scraping across the ice as Jesse caught up.

“I didn’t mean to offend you by asking.”

“You didn’t.” I forced a smile and found a nice easy rhythm to skate to as I buried down the nagging heartache. “I’m just not a homemaker.” And will never be. That implied children. Something I could never produce. “I’m actually a controller.”

Jesse’s sweet laugh was music to my ears. “I don’t know what that is, but it sounds like something I can see you doing. You do like to be in control.”

Laughing and skating at the same time were too much for me to handle, and I waved my arms rapidly to prevent a fall. Luckily though, Jesse was right there to steady me.

“Thanks.” I cast my gaze downward for a heartbeat before I explained. “I oversee the financial reports and help the company budget their money.”

It had been a hard fought for dream because after we got married, Charlie insisted I stop working full time. Thankfully, I had managed part time for a few years, and a year ago, after the devastating news I would never carry a child, I went full time. The title made it sound like a bigger deal than it really was.

“So, you’re really good with money?”

“I guess.”

We moved around the ice, and every once in a while, I flung my arms out for balance.

“You can hold my hand, if it helps?” He extended his mittened hand.

I stared with disbelief and excitement. It was a weird feeling, but I grasped his hand with a strong grip. A lap around while holding hands was nice. Too nice, and when I stopped to rest against a stack of hay bales, Jesse stood in front of me. His cheeks were red from the cool air, and his eyes had a warmth to them. There was a certain charm in his grin as his gaze danced over my face.

“You’re really something, you know?”

But I didn’t. All my married life, it wasn’t something I knew. Charlie wasn’t forthcoming with compliments, and only in recent months had I tried to figure out what it was about him I’d been so drawn to originally. Over time, the looks had faded, mainly because his true personality took over. He wasn’t mean or anything, but he wasn’t a classifiable sweetheart either. He used to be a fun seven, but over time fell to a meh five or six on his better days.

And Jesse? In the short time I’d know him, he was already a strong eight, maybe even a nine. He was…

I blinked and studied the man staring at me, wondering what those lips would taste like, and curious about how he kissed. Would they be strong or soft yet firm? Was he the type of kisser who could weaken my knees and light me on fire? I wanted to feel myself pressed into him, his arms wrapped around me, and have the world fade away. But I couldn’t. Wouldn’t.

It wasn’t … right? No, that’s wrong, because I hadn’t felt as comfortable with anyone as I have been with Jesse. Maybe it was the lack of knowledge to the outside world of my failings. Maybe it was shame that I couldn’t keep Charlie and I together, and no longer wanted to. The nagging doubt reminding me if I couldn’t make that work, how could I ever make something new work?

But those eyes of Jesse’s. They stared right into the depths of my soul. His head was tipped to the side and a shy grin tickled the left side of his lips, making it twitch. And I wanted to, wanted to give in to the racing pulse and the adrenaline coursing through me. I rolled in the side of my bottom lip, and heartbroken at my lack of courage, pushed away.

Even though I couldn’t, a smile crossed my face and my confidence blossomed from the way Jesse had raked me in. It had been too long since I’d felt like that, so bravely, I attempted to spin like Jesse had and tried skating backwards. Instead, my skates slipped out from under me, and my butt cracked against the surface of the ice. I tossed my head back in pain.

Jesse put his skate in front of mine and offered a strong hand, pulling me up effortlessly, the light in his gaze shining as brightly as a star. His charm oozed and once again, an overpowering urge to kiss him consumed me.

“Should we take these off now?”

Stabbing pain shot down my left leg reminding me I wasn’t in a Hallmark movie.

“Probably. I need to be able to walk my sister down the beach and give her away.” Like a child’s first time on skates, I shuffled towards the nearest bench. So much for romance and fun.

“You’re giving Lily away? That’s really cool.”

“I’m the only family she has left. Would be weird of Eric’s step-dad to do it.”

“I suppose.” Jesse helped me onto the bench and bent down to untie my skates.

“Speaking of my sister, I have a plus one going unused. Interested?”

A long, hardened stare back responded to my invite as he bore into my soul. “And you don’t think that would help your sister jump to conclusions?”

He was right. If I didn’t tell my sister what was up in my life, it would look really suspicious to bring a stunningly handsome guy to a wedding who was not my ex-husband, even if I really wanted him there. To dance in his arms. To take in the surf. To walk in the moonlight. To be wild and carefree for the first time in my adult life.

I hung my head and sighed with relief as the skates slipped off.

My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I checked on the caller ID. “It’s Lily.” Jesse sat beside me while I answered. “Hey.”

“Hey, Mo. Listen, I have bad news.”

My eyes went large, and my stomach tightened. “What’s wrong?”

“Oh, nothing. Nothing major, really.” She was stalling. “Umm… the furnace guy was here to look at the, well, the furnace. He says the motor’s shot.”

“That happens all the time.”

“Yeah, well, this isn’t YVR.” Speaking in airport code was something I wasn’t used to. “He can’t get the part in until after Christmas, and maybe not even until the new year.”

“Oh?”

“So, we’re going to clear the couch and make things as comfy as possible.” There was hesitation in her voice, a reluctance as if my being a guest in her living room was more than just an inconvenience.

“Lil, don’t worry about it. I can get a motel here.”

From the corner of my eyes, Jesse shook his head, so I turned in his direction.

He leaned his forearms on his thighs. “The motels here are gross. Tell Lily you’re staying at my place. As long as you need.” There was a finality in his voice, but it wasn’t one that scared me.

“I couldn’t impose on you like that,” I said to Jesse, tipping the phone away from my mouth.

“Trust me, it’s not an imposition.”

“Are you with Jesse?” A pitch at the end of her sentence had me back peddling. Fast.

“Well not with him with him. We’re just out and about.” I scrunched my face.

“I certainly wasn’t implying you were with him because that would be weird being married and all. And besides, it’s Jesse.” She said it like he was a tattered hand-me-down or something, and her wording and tone rubbed me the wrong way.

I sighed, stuck between a rock and hard place. Jesse wasn’t Charlie, not even close, and yet my sister who didn’t know any better, was taking the side of the guy I was no longer married to. Perhaps it would be better to come out and tell the truth. My mouth opened to speak, but words failed to emerge.

“Anyway, about your lodgings…”

“Lil, we’ll figure out something, but don’t worry, okay? I’m going to be the least of your concerns. You have a wedding in less than 48 hours. That deserves your full concentration, not my accommodations.”

A sigh breezed over the line. “Thanks. Mo. Tell Jesse he should come for the ceremony and party. It’ll be fun and he can take Charlie’s seat, since he’s not coming.”

I tipped my head to the side and smiled at my temporary roommate. “I’ll tell Jesse he’s been invited. Thanks.”

A self-assured grin stretched across my face. Having him there wouldn’t be weird at all anymore. But I still needed to tell my sister what was going on in my life at some point.

Lily interrupted my train of thought. “Are you coming for breakfast tomorrow?”

“Wouldn’t miss it.” I had placed an order with the bakery for a variety of pastries. After all, the whole wedding crew would be there.

“See you in the morning.”

I hung up and pocketed my phone, all the while unable to wipe the stupid grin on my face. “Problem solved. So, as I was asking before… Are you interested in coming to a beach wedding on Christmas Day?”