Chapter Thirteen

 

Lily wrapped me in a hug, something I was really starting to enjoy, until she pushed me away with a huge grin pushing up the corners of her eyes. “What are you waiting for? Go to him.”

What was I waiting for?

I had enjoyed that kiss and wanted more from Jesse, but how could we make it work? My home and work were six hours away. That alone should’ve put the brakes on anything, but yet, it was impossible to deny the connection between us, and the way it continued to grow in strength.

Still, my walk back to him was more of a run as I couldn’t wait to be in his arms.

“Hey,” I breathed out as soon as I was within kissing distance.

A sadness clouded his features. “I’m sorry. But I have to go.”

Damn. I had misjudged the situation and the growing interest between us.

He lifted his phone and repocketed it. “The hospital called. I have work to do.”

“Oh.” Work to do, code for mortician stuff. On Christmas Eve.

My heart spluttered in my chest as a wave of emotion washed over me. Someone that dreadful night had taken care of Mom.

He ran a finger down my cheek, leaving trails of heat. “Don’t do this to yourself, I can see what you’re worried about.”

What was I worried about? Someone, somewhere, was mourning the loss of a family member. On Christmas Eve. A heartache I was all too familiar with.

“Okay.” Smarter words would’ve been better.

“I need to go, but I can drop you off back home or Eric has offered to have you stay with them. I could be a while.”

I inhaled sharply and gazed around. It was amazing to see people carrying on and enjoying the festivities without a care in the world, and here I was, after having the most perfect day and kiss with a sweetheart of a guy, and a reconciliation of sorts with my sister, prepping to send him into the trenches. I wanted the magic to continue. Life wasn’t fair.

“You can take me back to your place.” I lifted my hand for him, and he grabbed onto it, walking us back over to Lily and Eric, who no doubt, was on the receiving end of Lily’s wagging tongue.

Eric gave us his full attention. “So?”

Jesse spoke. “I’m going to take her home.”

“Are you sure, Mo?” Lily’s face wore sympathy.

“I swear I’m okay. Besides, I have a few gifts to wrap.” And maybe, finally, it was time to open the little red box stored in the bottom of my suitcase. “I’ll see you in the morning, after you have a full night of beauty sleep.”

Lily gave my arm a squeeze. “Easier said than done as I have a toddler who doesn’t believe in sleeping through the night.” She winked and smiled, tossing a goodbye over her shoulder as she walked away.

“I really don’t want the day to end like this.” Jesse stopped on the passenger side and opened the door. “Not this way.”

But I didn’t know how to respond. I didn’t want the night to end either, and although it was still relatively early, it wasn’t even nine yet, it would be in the wee hours of morning before he returned.

The drive back down the lane to Jesse’s place was quick, but quiet, and he parked in front of his house. His hand was poised on the ignition as if he were going to turn the truck off.

“You go. I’ve got a key, remember?” I retrieved it and let it dangle under the glow of the multi-coloured lights hanging in his truck.

“But I…”

I inched my way across the bench seat and stared into his perfect face, leaning in close enough to smell his woodsy scent. “I’ll see you later.”

“In the morning. Don’t wait up.” He brushed his lips across mine, setting a roar of flaming embers alight.

With each breath he stole from me, I became more a part of him. Finally, I pulled back, desperate to continue this inside, but knowing full well someone else needed him. “Go.”

“I’ve never had such a hard time going to work. And I love my job.” A sadness settled over him. “I really want to stay.”

But I knew he couldn’t. As unfortunate as his job was, it helped to pay his bills and he needed the money. To make it easier on him, I inched back to the door and pushed it open.

“See you soon.” I blew him a kiss and hopped out.

He put the truck in gear and drove away, the Christmas lights on the box of his truck waving as he disappeared.

Entering Jesse’s home, I hung up my jacket and tidied up the place a bit, although Jesse was no slob. I prepped a breakfast of baked French toast and readied it for the oven for when we woke up. It was Mom’s old recipe, another Christmas favourite, but I hadn’t had it in years.

As I washed and dried the last of the dishes, I stared at the ceiling. Up there was the little red box. The last gift she’d given me.

After finding a bit of Christmas magic today, all thanks to Jesse, it was time to finally open it. I felt that deep in my soul.

I trudged up the stairs and popped the suitcase onto the bed, digging through the depths of the contents to retrieve the hand-sized boxed. The edges of the red ribbon had frayed over the years, but the bow was still intact. My finger outlined the edge of the tag, which had faded, however, the beautiful script Mom was famous for, still spelled out my name.

Somehow, the only place fitting to open it was in front of the tree. I held the box close to my heart as I descended the stairs and made my way back over to the shimmering tree, lighting it up with a touch of a button.

My heart was pounding loudly, and it was nearly impossible to hear myself think over the rush. This was it. Once I opened it, I’d never have another gift from her again, and as I gently tugged on the bow, I stopped.

Maybe this wasn’t the right time to open it.

I set it on the table and stared at it in the glow of the Christmas tree.

Perhaps I should add Jesse’s gifts under there first?

Holding the little red box, I went back upstairs, got the couple of gifts I’d found, and wrapped them in paper decorated with little snowmen. First, a monthly subscription to a sock of the month club, as I’d noticed his socks were thread bare. I’d also enrolled him in a local treat box for six months, where he’d get a selection of snacks all made on the island. Added to that, were a couple of ornaments from Whimsical Whims and a gift card to Pete’s Pitas.

In my nicest handwriting, I penned out his name, although my penmanship needed work. It wasn’t nearly as scriptly beautiful as Mom’s had been. Still, once they were under the tree, it made it look less bare, and a smile spread across my face.

I sat on the springy couch and wiggled myself into place, staring at the box on the edge of the coffee table and the tree behind it. Why was I so nervous about undoing the knot and lifting the lid? Never had that problem any other year when it was there. In fact, it was the first gift I opened.

My hand shook as I reached for the box and held it in my hand, admiring it from all sides. Really, I was being ridiculous and the inner child in me undid the knot in a lightning-fast motion, while the hurting, grown adult slammed the brakes. I set the box back down, pushing it into the middle of the table. As much as I thought I was ready, I wasn’t. Not really.

Besides, it was Christmas Eve, not Christmas morning, and I only opened presents then. It was a hard and fast rule.

Relieved for having stopped myself from making a mistake, I hopped back into the kitchen and whipped up some muffins; a hearty variety that froze well and would fill Jesse with nutrition in my absence. It also helped to pass the time, and before I knew it, the clock struck twelve.

“It’s now Christmas Day,” I said to no one, putting the cooled muffins into a freezer-safe container and sliding them into a narrow vacant spot in his freezer.

The lights in the kitchen had just flicked off when a key rattled in the door and grabbed my full attention, cementing my feet to the floor.

Jesse slowly opened the door and stepped inside. Even in the shadows, his face lit when he spotted me. “Oh, hey. You’re still up.”

“Hey.” Was it wrong to ask how work was? Or would that be weird?

“It smells good in here.” He lifted his nose to take in the scents.

“Muffins and breakfast for the morning.” When he walked over, I pointed out the tray in the fridge, and the snacks in the freezer.

“You didn’t have to.”

“I didn’t mind. Wanted to make sure you had good food to eat when I wasn’t around.” And like always, I was an A+ mood killer as the smile fell right off his face.

“You didn’t need to stay up.”

“I was killing time. Remember the Christmas gift my mother left for me the morning she passed away? I started to open it.” I pointed to the coffee table where it sat untouched, the ribbon laying around the base.

“You opened it?” There was so much hope in his voice, I hated to disappoint him once again.

“No. But I got further with it than I ever had before, so it’s progress,” I said with as much conviction as I could muster.

“You were just waiting for me, weren’t you?” It came out in a tired giggle as he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me close.

Maybe a part of me had been waiting, needing the extra support. However, I pushed him away and wrinkled my nose as there was a strong odor in his clothing.

“Give me five?”

I nodded and he raced upstairs. The shower started, and I allowed my mind to wander into dirty little places I hadn’t ventured into for a while. While Jesse cleaned himself, I poured us a couple of glasses of red wine. Was it too late for a little drink? Nah, it was Christmas Eve, or rather, it was now Christmas Day. However, rather than fill to a normal amount, I halved it, just enough for a little toast, and set them on the coffee table.

A fresh Jesse fell in beside me on the couch and reached for his glass, lifting it for me.

I mirrored his action, and the gentle clink filled the air.

He took a sip and licked his lips. “Merry Christmas, Mona.”

“Same to you.” The words were right there on the tip of my tongue, but I just couldn’t let them slip out.

“Are you going to finish opening it?”

I stared at the pretty package. “Not sure.” It suddenly felt heavy as I lifted it back into my hands. “Maybe.”

“I can leave, if you’d prefer. I didn’t want to interrupt.”

But I didn’t want him to take off. After everything I’d shared with him, it was like he needed to be here when I finally lifted the lid. “No. Stay.”

I snuggled into the depths of the couch, and Jesse draped his arms over my shoulders. He smelled good, a sultry spicy scent. Whatever it was, the deeper I inhaled, the calmer I became.

For good measure, I took another sip of wine and swallowed down the fear. This was it. The last gift. My wine glass wobbled as I set it on the table, and my hand trembled as I pulled off the lid.