“You ready?” I asked Keisha when I finally returned to the living room. She was slumped into the couch, texting on the phone John had picked up for her last week. Who was she texting?
Paige had already left while Ilana, Athena, and Olivia still talked at the far end of the living room.
“Sure,” Keisha said. She typed another few words before getting off the couch.
“Nice meeting you guys,” she said brightly, waving to the other women, who all echoed the same sentiment.
“I hope you’ll come next month,” Olivia said.
“Me too,” Keisha said. “This was really fun.”
Was it? I wondered. Was it really fun?
Once in the car, Keisha chatted about how nice Aunt Ruby’s house was and how the other women were dressed. I smiled and nodded politely. Eventually she went back to her texting, and a somewhat comfortable silence descended. The thought of leading the discussion next month made my stomach tighten even though it was weeks away. Gardening was sounding better by the minute.
Twenty minutes after leaving Aunt Ruby’s house in Newport, I pulled into the garage and shifted into park. John’s truck was there, and I wondered how Landon had done at his basketball game. He’d improved so much on his shooting these last few months, and I hoped he’d impressed the coach enough that he would get more playing time than he had at the start of the season.
“Hey, could I borrow the car?” Keisha asked as I turned off the ignition. “My friend Jessica invited me to go to coffee, but she lives in Aliso Viejo.”
“Who’s Jessica?”
“Just a girl I met in rehab. She’s really cool.”
“Uh, I don’t know,” I said evasively.
“She’s clean, Shannon,” Keisha said, almost with an exasperated tone. “She’s going to school to become a dental hygienist or something. So can I take the car?”
In the almost two weeks Keisha had been with us, she hadn’t borrowed the car except for a few job interviews. And never at night, and never to hang out with friends. She’d never talked about this Jessica person before. But she was twenty-one.
“It’s almost nine,” I said, hedging. “Isn’t it a little late for coffee?”
“It’s never too late for coffee,” Keisha said, smiling. She placed her clasped hands under her chin. “Plee-eease, Shannon. I just need to get out, ya know? Hang out with a friend. I can pay you back for the gas after I get a job.”
“It’s not about the gas,” I said, smarting a little that I wasn’t considered a “friend.” “It’s just . . . ”
“Please?” she said again, her big brown eyes turning all puppy-dog on me even as she dropped her hands. “I just want to hang out for a little while. I swear, Jessica’s a good friend.”
I thought back to what I’d said to John when he worried about getting her an unlimited texting plan for her cell phone: “We need to trust her, even if we don’t want to. She needs to be empowered by our faith in her.”
“Sure,” I said, forcing another smile as I decided to take my own advice. “Be home by eleven.”
“That’s, like, barely two hours,” Keisha said, pouting.
“Okay,” I said. “Midnight.”
“Awesome!” She reached across the seat and hugged me. “Thank you, thank you!”
Keisha scrambled out of the passenger seat and ran around the back of the car. I handed her the keys once she reached the driver’s side; she hugged me again and then jumped into the driver’s seat. I reminded her once more to be careful, and she promised she would be. I stood in the garage until the taillights disappeared around the corner; then I took a breath and headed into the house.
John and Landon were watching a basketball game on TV, and I let them have their time while I slipped into the kitchen, feeling the burdens of the day fall away now that I was finally home. I didn’t love working Saturdays, but I also hated turning down the chance to make some extra money. My willingness to work had saved us these last few years, but it wasn’t easy. I missed having actual weekends and didn’t like being at work when I knew John wasn’t. Not that he liked that I was the breadwinner any more than I did, but sometimes my resentment crept up on me.
I took a breath and pushed away those thoughts, which were always stronger at the end of a long week. I had much to be grateful for. All the anxiety from the book group was finished, and the pending discussion about the book I’d suggested was a month away. My two favorite men were in the other room, and life was just good and calm and peaceful here. That’s why I’d wanted Keisha to come stay with us. I wanted her to feel the warmth I felt in our home. I wanted her to know what it was like to be a part of a family so she could see a different, better future for herself.
I spent a few minutes cleaning up the kitchen before John came in for a soda.
“I didn’t hear you come in,” he said, leaning down to kiss me on his way to the fridge.
“I just got back,” I said, adding soap to the dishwasher.
“I was going to clean up.” He scanned the clean counters and sinks. Tonight was his night to do dinner and dishes.
“I really didn’t mind.”
He leaned in and kissed me on the back of the neck, giving me chills and making me smile. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” I looked over my shoulder and gave him a flirty smile. “How was Lan’s game?”
“Great,” he said. “He was two for three with his shots and made both free throws. He’s come a long way.”
“I’m so glad.” I rummaged in the fridge for a yogurt cup. Keisha ate two a day, and I was having a hard time keeping up with the demand. “I wish I’d been there. That’s the second game I’ve missed.” I didn’t say “since Keisha has come,” but we both knew that’s what I meant.
“Where’s Keish?” John asked.
I paused for half a second, then kept any hesitation out of my voice when I spoke. “I let her borrow my car to meet up with a friend.”
“A friend?” John pulled up on the tab of his soda until it made the pop-hiss sound. He sipped the soda from the rim. “What friend?”
“Her name is Jessica. I guess they were in rehab together.”
Distrust pulled his eyebrows together. “She’s never said anything about Jessica.”
“I’m sure it’s fine. Jessica’s going to college; Keisha says she’s a good influence.” I turned my attention to pulling the foil top off the yogurt. “She’ll be back by eleven.” I said the lie before I even realized I was doing it. I knew why I’d lied though. John would be in bed before eleven, and I didn’t want him to know I’d allowed his daughter to stay out so late without consulting him. My face got warm. It wasn’t like me to be dishonest.
“Hmmm,” he said before taking another drink. He looked at the clock on the stove. “I’ll wait up for her and make sure everything’s okay when she comes in.”
“Don’t do that,” I said quickly, finding a spoon in the drawer. “You don’t want her to think we’re checking up on her.”
“Why not?” he said as I took my first bite. We were both leaning against opposite counters. “She needs to be accountable, and it’s good for her to know we’re paying attention.”
“She is accountable,” I said, waving my spoon through the air. “And this is the first time she’s asked for the car. We knew it would happen sooner or later. It’s okay. She needs to build herself a new life here, and that means we have to let go enough for her to do that. She’s with someone who’s clean and goal oriented. Let’s not make too big a deal out of this.”
He was contemplative for a few more seconds, but then he gave me a playful smile. He reached across the space between us to grab my waist and pull me closer. I offered no resistance even though I almost dropped my spoon as I crossed the floor. “It’s good you’re here,” he said, putting his soda down on the counter behind him and placing both hands at my waist, moving my hips as though we were dancing. It was kinda sexy. “I’m always thinking the worst, and you’re always willing to give her the benefit of the doubt.”
It felt good to have his compliments, or at least it would have felt good if I deserved them, but the lie I’d told sat heavy in my stomach. I did like seeing him softening toward this experience, though, and held on hard to that as justification for what I’d done. I reached up and tapped him on the nose with my spoon. “If we don’t give her a chance to prove herself, she’ll never feel successful or know how strong she can be.”
John arched one eyebrow. “You don’t think keeping her locked up in a tower will help her prove her strength?”
I laughed. “Probably not.”
He leaned in and kissed me. I put my arms around his neck even though I was still holding my yogurt and spoon and kissed him back. “Thanks for loving my girl,” he whispered against my lips before pulling me into a hug.
His girl? Wasn’t she our girl?
John held me against him for a few seconds until Landon came in and made gagging sounds. John dipped me and kissed me hard on the mouth, causing Landon to leave the room completely and me to drop my yogurt. He stood me back up, kissed me once more, and helped me clean up the mess before returning to watch the end of the game, leaving me with a smile and a reminder of why I’d married this wonderful man. He had always brought out the best in me, and I liked to think I did the same for him. Especially with Keisha. I could tell him over and over again that he’d done the best he could at the time, but her drug issues had really done a number on his confidence.
“It’s different this time,” I said to the cupboards and dishes hanging out with me in the kitchen. That was why I’d lied about the curfew, because I needed things to be different and I could see how easy it would be for John to lose all hope. I could think of nothing worse than John giving up on Keisha when she was unsteady on her new legs. So I would hold her hand through this, and John’s too, and one day we’d all raise our hands triumphantly over our heads and know we’d made it work. Keisha couldn’t do this without us, and John couldn’t support her without me. I would make this work. I had to.