ALI SLEPT RESTLESSLY, wondering if Tom was reading Bobby’s book. What if he hated it, what if he thought all the facts were wrong, what if he thought it didn’t do his brother justice?
She’d stored up so many bits of information, from Tom and from Lily, and Bobby when he was alive. At first she’d been writing about fishing as a way of life, listening to the fishermen who went into the pub in the evenings. Each and every snippet of information she’d carefully stored up, either on bits of paper or just inside her head. By going through it all again and again she’d gradually formed a picture of Bobby as a boy and she’d tried to tell a truthful tale of a special young man.
Tom’s approval of her book, Bobby’s book, meant so much to her. They may not have a future together now but her feelings for him were as strong as ever. She needed to cling to her pride, though, so he would never know that.
Trying to put her apprehension about the book from her mind, Ali grabbed a piece of toast, drank down her cup of breakfast tea and reached for Freckles’s lead. “Come on, young lady,” she called.
The pup ran eagerly toward her, and after snapping on the lead she headed out of the front door into the fresh morning air. All traces of last night’s turbulent weather had disappeared. The sea was tranquil, sparkling in the summer sun, and the gentle, rhythmic swish of waves upon the shore brought Ali a whole new sense of peace. Inside her belly Daisy kicked, making her jump, and she laughed out loud, counting her blessings. For now at least she lived in an amazing place, she had no money worries and the baby she carried was healthy and strong. Her book was finished and it was time to focus on preparing for Daisy’s birth. At the moment she had only herself to take care of; but once Daisy arrived she’d be half of a “we” and she’d never really be alone again. She liked the idea, she decided, heading along the shore with the sea breeze in her face.
She’d walked only for a few minutes when she saw a man approach. At first glance her heart began to race; was it Tom? As he came closer she drew back. It was Ned, walking toward Cove Cottages. Her thoughts raced and her breathing quickened; should she say hi or should she just ignore him? Maybe she could simply nod and scuttle by.
As he came alongside her he hesitated. “Hi,” she said, hoping friendly was the best approach.
He glared at her. “I need to know the truth.”
Dismayed by his show of aggression but feeling that she owed him, Ali stopped. “What do you mean, Ned? The truth about what?”
He looked her up and down, focusing on her baby bump. “About the baby. It’s Bobby’s, isn’t it.”
Anger soaked up her initial alarm. “This baby is mine,” she insisted, wrapping her arm protectively around the familiar bump. “And it has nothing to do with your brother whatever you might like to think.”
As she tried to walk past him he stepped in front of her, blocking her path. “Well I think you’re lying,” he said determinedly.
The ferocity of his accusation brought a vague shiver of apprehension but her anger overrode it. “The trouble with you, Ned,” she announced, looking him straight in the eyes, “is that you can’t read people and you jump to conclusions without thinking things through. I don’t have to defend myself to you anyway. You’re just soaked up by bitterness and jealousy and that’s sad.”
“How can I not feel bitter when my brother died because of you?”
“And you’re saying that it was my fault?”
For a moment Ned hesitated. “Well you did make him bring you here—and you put us all against each other by insisting that you come out on the boat that day... He was in love with you. It was obvious.”
Seeing the pain in his face Ali hesitated, her anger draining away. “This baby isn’t Bobby’s, Ned,” she told him. “Maybe you’re right and he was in love with me, but if that’s true then I certainly didn’t know it. If that makes me selfish then I’m sorry, but Bobby and I were just friends as far as I was concerned...good friends.”
Ned frowned, going over their conversation in his head. “So why did you say I was jealous?”
His question shook her. When she’d blurted out the words it had been on impulse, to hurt him maybe. For a moment she thought about it. “Just an observation I suppose,” she eventually said. “I’m a journalist—it’s my job to notice things about people.”
“Pity you didn’t notice how Bobby felt then,” he snapped. “And who do you think I’m jealous of anyway?”
“Well, your brothers of course, but don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that you don’t love them. It’s just...”
“Just what?”
“Well,” she replied cautiously. “As the eldest son Tom has always been in charge, I suppose. It was obvious to me right from the start that you resented that slightly. You went against him that day on the boat remember and backed Jed and Bobby about me coming out with you.”
“I wish I hadn’t,” Ned muttered.
“Also,” Ali went on, ignoring his quip, “Tom has always been the one your dad listens to, despite the fact that you work with Search and Rescue. It was different for Bobby—he got away with anything he wanted because of his charm, but I think you sometimes felt left out.”
“Well you’re wrong about that,” Ned insisted, his face turning a dull red. “And I do love my brothers, always have.”
On impulse Ali reached out and touched his arm. “I know you do,” she said, softening toward him. “There’s always jealousy with siblings though, that’s just how it is. It doesn’t mean you don’t care about each other.”
“And did you care at all?” he asked quietly. “About Bobby. Or were you just using him?”
Ali drew back her hand. “Of course I cared about Bobby...just not in the way you think. And I wasn’t using him.”
“Well if that is true and he really isn’t your baby’s dad then who is? Tom...is it Tom?”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Ali snapped.
Ned shrugged. “Or maybe you’re lying to all of us and it really is Bobby’s baby. After all he isn’t here to tell us the truth is he.”
“But why would I lie about that?” Ali insisted. “After all it would be quite convenient to have your family’s backing and you’d never know the truth, would you.”
“Have you never heard of DNA tests?” Ned said. “All you have to do is fill in a form online and send some money. They’ll supply the stuff you need to take a swab from the inside of your mouth and hey presto, it’s as simple as that. And it doesn’t even have to be you—anyone who has access to your baby could do it.”
Ali stiffened, biting her tongue to keep back an angry retort. “I don’t need a DNA test to know who my baby’s father is,” she said, holding her head high as she started to walk away. “And it’s no one else’s business so I suggest you just back off.”
Several yards on she couldn’t resist glancing back to see if Ned was still there. To her surprise he was standing motionless, watching her retreat. Did he believe her about Bobby? she wondered; somehow she didn’t think so. Someone had managed to make Tom doubt her credibility, no matter what he said, and she didn’t need to look very far to guess who that might be. Ned Roberts had a lot to answer for and he was obviously hurting more than anyone realized.
Ali walked to the headland, waiting patiently while Freckles investigated the scents and sights that surrounded them. As she headed back toward the row of cottages that sat at the very edge of the shore a dull, nagging pain settled across her back and she felt a wave of weariness wash over her.
“I think I’ve overdone it girl,” she said, reaching down to scratch the pup’s ears. Or was it just her unpleasant confrontation with Ned that had caused the dip in her spirits.
Reaching the front door of Number Three she pushed it open and went inside, heading straight into the sitting room to collapse on the sofa. She’d lie down for a bit she decided, that should sort her out. She just needed a rest.
* * *
EVER SINCE HE finished Ali’s book Tom hadn’t been able to put it out of his mind; it had really brought Bobby back to life for him and he couldn’t wait for his mother to read it. He needed to go and see Ali though, he knew that, for no matter what their differences were right now, the book united them and he wanted to tell her that.
When he stepped outside he saw her at once. She wore a blue floral dress that fluttered around her legs in the breeze as she walked along the shore with the pup on a lead. Someone was coming toward her, walking quickly with long purposeful strides. Ned—it was Ned. Whatever was he doing here? For a moment Tom froze, apprehension looming inside him. Was he planning to speak to Ali? Well if he was then it wouldn’t be to say anything pleasant; he’d been complaining about her for weeks, ever since he found out about the baby.
For several minutes Tom watched helplessly, not wanting to interfere. He could see that they were both animated and he was worried about Ned upsetting her, but then she just turned and walked away with her head held high; he admired her for that. Ned stood and watched her go; he looked angry, and Tom wondered if he should go over and speak to his brother. Ali walked slowly away from him, seemingly unperturbed by their confrontation, so Tom decided to keep a low profile and catch up with her about the book later.
She came back from her walk after just twenty minutes or so and Tom gave her time to go inside and get settled before heading over to see her, the manuscript tucked in the crook of his arm. He knocked on the door. “Hello... Ali!”
When he got no reply, alarm bells rang in his head. He pushed them aside; she’d probably gone for a shower or something. He’d come back later.
It was as he walked away that he heard the cry. At first he thought it was the scream of a gull but then it came again; it was human...a human cry.
“Ali!” he yelled again, more urgently now, running back to push open the front door. He burst through into the sitting room that overlooked the sea and stopped in the doorway, waves of panic rendering him helpless.
“Tom!” she called desperately, her eyes wide with panic. “The baby...it’s the baby. It’s coming...now.”
“Right.” He found his voice suddenly. “I’ll ring for an ambulance.”
“No,” she begged. “There’s no time. You have to help me now... I have to push.”
“My mother then,” he insisted. “I’ll ring her. She’ll know what to do.”
“No... Please, Tom, it’s...” she began and then she was gripped in a pain so intense that it took her totally in its grip. Her face contorted, tears squeezed from her eyes and she let out a loud cry of agony. Tom sank to his knees beside her, taking her hand as she started to pant.
“Breathe,” he urged. “Just breathe.”
As the contraction abated she let out a sigh. “You have to do it,” she begged, her voice breaking as another contraction took her in its grip. “Help me, Tom... Please.”
He raced up the stairs in a panic, desperately trying to think as he rifled through the cupboards until he found some towels. Rushing back downstairs two steps at a time, he spread the towels on the carpet beside the sofa and then carefully helped Ali ease herself down onto the floor and into a more comfortable position. As she lay back her pupils dilated and she clung to Tom’s arm, stifling a groan.
“I have to push,” she cried. “Now.”
“Then push,” Tom told her, adjusting her dress and calmly removing her panties. There was no time to think, no time for embarrassment; he acted on instinct, urging her again and again to push, watching and waiting while she gripped so hard onto his hand that her fingernails drew blood.
“I can see the head,” he cried, overcome by emotion. “Come on now, Ali...one really big push.”
With a huge surge of energy Ali pushed, her face turning beetroot red as she gave it her everything. “It’s coming,” he yelled as the baby slid into the world.
Picking the baby up in his arms, Tom reached for a towel. She needed to cry, that was one thing he knew, though where the knowledge had come from he had no idea. Acting purely on instinct he gently rubbed the little mite, massaging her chest until she started to scream; healthy lungs delivering life. With a powerful emotion he’d never experienced before, gently and carefully he wrapped Daisy in a clean towel and placed her in Ali’s arms, meeting her wide, proud, satisfied smile with one just as huge. “There you go, Mum,” he said, automatically leaning down to place a kiss on her forehead. “Well done...and now I am going to ring the hospital.”
* * *
TOM FOLLOWED THE ambulance to the hospital in his pickup, for who else was there to go, and anyway he told himself, he felt kind of responsible now.
When he saw Ali again she was sitting up in bed nursing Daisy. Her eyes were wide and soft and so filled with love that it made his heart hurt. “You okay?” he asked, wondering if she wanted him there.
She nodded, tears brimming. “Thank you,” she said. “I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t been there to help me.”
“You were amazing,” he said. “And now you’re a mum...awesome thought.”
When he looked down at the baby’s scrunched little face he found himself searching for Bobby’s likeness and hated himself for it. “I’ll come back tomorrow.” He hesitated. “If you want me to that is.”
She nodded shyly. What had seemed quite normal in the urgency of childbirth now made them feel awkward. “I’d like that, if you don’t mind, and I’m sorry you had to...you know.”
He shook his head, dispelling her regret. “I’m just glad I turned up at the right time... Is there anything you need by the way?” It felt like small talk, which seemed absurd given the situation.
“No...thanks.” She held his gaze. “My bag, the one you collected for me, was already packed with everything I might need... Please will you tell Lily.”
“Of course...” he agreed. “She’ll be so excited. Can I bring her to see you?”
Ali nodded enthusiastically. “You could come back tonight if you like. I’m not going to be in here long anyway.”
“What...you mean they might send you home already?”
“That’s what they told me, as long as the baby’s okay. To be honest...”
When a flush ran up her neck, coloring her cheeks, he frowned. “To be honest what?”
“Please don’t be annoyed but I think they presumed we were a couple and I didn’t put them right because I wanted to go home as soon as possible... It’s not as if I expect you to look out for me or anything so you don’t need to worry. They’ve checked Daisy over and they say that for a preterm baby she seems really healthy, and as long as I have support then I should be able to go home very soon.”
An unexpected smile flitted across Tom’s face as her information sank in. “Ah,” he said. “So they must think that as I delivered the baby, then I must know what I’m doing, when the reality is that I didn’t have a clue.”
“Now you tell me,” she said, smiling back.
It was only as Tom was driving home that he realized he hadn’t mentioned Bobby’s book, or asked her what Ned and she had been talking about. Both could wait until tomorrow when Lily wasn’t there, he decided, wondering why he was so looking forward to seeing Ali again. She’d just given birth to another man’s child and he was a long way from being ready to take on fatherhood; even if the baby had been his it would have been daunting. He needed to take a step back and think about this; he was prepared to help her out but he mustn’t let himself get sucked in.
He was attracted to Ali, he couldn’t deny that, but things were different now and he had to keep a strict control on his feelings. Ali and he had had their moments; moments when he really thought they had a future together despite the fact that the odds were stacked against them at every turn. Now though it felt as if way too much water had passed under their particular bridge for them ever to be more than just friends.
Parking outside the pub he hurried inside to find Lily. To his dismay the first person he bumped into was Ned.
“You look a bit stressed,” remarked his brother.
“So would you if you’d just helped a baby into the world,” Tom said with a ring of pride in his voice.
“Her baby?” Ned asked in surprise. “But I only saw her this afternoon and she seemed fine.”
“What did you say to her?” Tom’s voice held an accusing note.
“I asked her what everyone else is thinking.”
“And that is?”
“I asked her if the baby is Bobby’s...and don’t tell me you don’t want to know.”
Remembering that moment of birth when he’d looked at Daisy’s face for Bobby’s likeness, Tom froze.
“Everyone knows that when a child is first born it looks like its dad,” Ned went on. “It’s nature’s way of making sure that the father accepts it, so they say... So go on, what did you think?”
“I think you should just shut up,” said Tom coldly. “Anyway, I know for a fact that it’s not Bobby’s baby.”
“Told you that, did she?” Ned raised his eyebrows, smirking. “You need to wise up, Tom. Bobby’s gone so she’s sweet-talking you now.”
Without another word Tom pushed past his brother and went to look for Lily. He was shaking, he realized, holding out his hand. What was that all about? What was Ned’s problem? He was helping Ali out, that was all.