“You need anything else?” Mrs. Walters, the school librarian, asked as she scanned Emily’s books and placed them on the counter in front of her. Even though she wasn’t her teacher, Mrs. Walters was always checking in on Emily. Always asking what she was working on next and offering to read her essays, making comments in all the margins. She was one of Emily’s favorite people.
“Just these today, thanks,” Emily said as she grabbed her textbooks on US History and stuffed them into her backpack. She only had a few minutes before biology started and she couldn’t miss any second of it since she’d gotten a B on last week’s test.
“Any more papers for me to read?” Mrs. Walters’ eyes beamed up at her. Emily blushed thinking back to what Mrs. Walters wrote on her final paper last year after she’d received an A+ on it. You presented your ideas and thoughts really well. You have a talent, Emily. I encourage you to keep writing. Emily had chosen to write her paper on the reasons for the prevalence of poverty among women. Mrs. Walters had loved it so much, she’d submitted it to a national contest. Although Emily hadn’t won, Mrs. Walters was always asking her what she was writing next. Always encouraging her to write more.
“I promise I’ll bring you whatever I write next,” Emily assured her. As she veered out of the library, she caught sight of someone through the window. She squinted to see Hannah Patterson in the courtyard. She was sitting in a shadow between two brick walls so most people probably wouldn’t notice her, but Emily could spot that diamond nose stud from anywhere. Emily watched as Hannah put a vape pen to her mouth, and then closed her eyes as if she hadn’t a care in the world. Emily glanced around her to see if anyone else had noticed her. The library was as empty as the toilet paper section in a grocery store before a snowstorm. She was about to quietly creep out and head into the courtyard toward Hannah when she saw Mrs. Walters step out of a side door and beat her to it. She watched as Hannah stuffed the pen into her pocket and looked up at Mrs. Walters, her hands crossed in front of her chest as she spoke. She’s definitely getting in trouble, Emily thought. She hurriedly stepped outside toward the women, loudly opening a candy wrapper while she approached them. They both looked up toward her and stopped talking.
“Hey, Hannah, sorry I’m late for our study session,” she lied as she held out her backpack and pulled the US History textbook from it. “You ready to get started?”
Mrs. Walters’ eyes lit up in surprise as Emily approached them. “You were going to study with her out here?” she asked.
“Oh, hey, Amelia, what’s up?” Hannah looked relieved to see her.
“Emily,” she corrected her, embarrassed that this was the second time Hannah had gotten her name wrong, and she’d done it in front of Mrs. Walters. Maybe all the vaping is messing with her memory, Emily thought, hoping that was the case and not that Emily wasn’t memorable.
“I was just asking Miss Patterson what she’s doing out here instead of being in class,” Mrs. Walters said, looking at Emily with a stern look on her face she’d never seen before. “You say you’re studying?”
“Yes.” Emily chuckled. “I’m sorry I’m late, that’s my fault.” She could see Mrs. Walters raise her eyebrows in surprise and then relax her face. Emily was her soft spot.
“Well, it seems you’re so late, the two of you are now missing your next class.” Mrs. Walters glanced over at Hannah, whose eyes were now small slits of red.
“Thanks, good point, Mrs. Walters. You know what, Hannah? We better get to class,” Emily said, reaching for her arm and pulling her up. “I’m sorry about this. It really is all my fault.”
“Don’t forget I still want to speak with you about the debate team,” Mrs. Walters hollered at Emily as the two of them walked back through the library and into the hallway.
“I can’t believe you did that for me!” Hannah whispered as she squeezed Emily’s arm tightly. “Mrs. Walters must really love you since she didn’t bust me.”
Hannah’s touch warmed Emily’s face. I need this friendship, she thought as she imagined the two of them hanging out after school or shopping at the mall. They could do all the things she and Steph used to do together.
“I guess she just doesn’t hate me as much as her other students,” she lied as Hannah pulled her into the bathroom. She thought about her grade dropping in biology for skipping class, but the opportunity to hang out with Hannah couldn’t be missed. Hannah was her ticket to friendship and popularity. And Hannah made her feel good about herself—and she needed to feel good about herself for once.
“Here.” Hannah reached into her pocket and handed her pen over before Emily could respond. “A thank you for getting me out of trouble.”
Emily took the pen from her and sniffed it. She’d tried her mom’s cigarettes before, so she thought she knew how to inhale, but didn’t want to look stupid. She put the pen up to her mouth, took her best inhale, and handed it back to Hannah, feeling her lungs burn with aromatic skunk.
“You used one of these before?” Hannah asked as she put it to her lips and breathed in again.
“Nah, not one of these,” Emily responded, not wanting Hannah to think she was a goody two-shoes.
“It’s hash oil. My cousin has a medical marijuana card, so he gets me all the good, safe stuff.”
“Oh cool.” Emily pretended like she knew what hash oil was.
Hannah sucked at the pen some more as Emily sat down next to her, placing her bag down on the tile. Hannah handed her back the pen.
“It’s nice to have a little escape once in a while,” Hannah admitted, leaning her head back against the painted brick wall of the bathroom. “I’m so sick of feeling alone all the time. Do you ever feel that way? Like no one in the world understands you?”
Emily raised her eyebrows, thinking back to the first day of school when Hannah had been crying in the bathroom. She glanced over at her. “I know exactly how you feel,” she said honestly. She couldn’t comprehend how Hannah, someone who seemed so put together and popular, could feel the same way as she did. And for some strange reason, the fact that there was someone sitting next to her who also felt this way made Emily feel less alone.
“I usually drink a couple beers to take the edge off. It makes me feel better,” she lied, wanting to impress her new friend. She didn’t really like the idea of substances after what they’d done to her mom. But being with Hannah . . . doing this right now . . . it actually did make her feel better.
“Oh right, I saw your Insta-post the other week, beers and crabs, right?” Hannah asked. Emily tried not to show her delight that Hannah had remembered her Instagram post.
“Yeah, I was just having some beers and crabs with friends, no big deal,” she lied again, trying to act the part.
“Right on,” Hannah exclaimed. “I love crabs with a good Blue Moon. You ever try one of those?”
Emily hadn’t but knew a lot of beer brands from watching her mom serve them at the bar. “Of course, it’s the best,” she agreed.
“We should totally do that this weekend,” Hannah suddenly decided, sitting upright, and staring at Emily. “Maybe you could take me to that thrift store then we could get some crabs and beer? Are your parents cool?”
“Sure, that’d be awesome!” Emily responded, probably too quickly. “My mom is chill; she works all weekend so we can total hang at my place.” She already started to fret over how she could possibly come up with beer and crabs at her house with no money and no fake ID. I could always dip into my savings stowed away under my bed from tutoring some of the neighborhood kids. I could make it work. Hannah took her phone out of her pocket, pressed in her password, and handed it to Emily.
“Put in your number,” she directed her.
With shaky hands, Emily typed in her phone number. Hannah took her phone back and punched on the screen with the pads of her fingers. Her nails were purple acrylic with sharp points at the ends, and it baffled Emily how she could type so fast. A second later, Emily’s phone buzzed and she glanced at the screen. An unknown number had texted her, “What up bitch.” She glanced over at Hannah and smiled.
“Now you have mine too.” Hannah grinned. She stood up, put the pen back in her jeans pocket, threw her backpack around her shoulder, and sashayed out of the bathroom without saying goodbye. Emily stared at the closed door and then glanced down at her phone again, blinking her eyes repeatedly to assess what’d just happened.
She peered up to the sky and whispered, “Thank you, God.”