The drive home was silent. My family may be a lot of things, but they know when to shut their mouths when I need them to, Emily thought, thankful for the quiet. She opened her window slightly to air out the smoke filling up the car as Debbie and Charlie puffed on their cigarettes. Wondering if this would be one of the last times she would see it as a free woman, she leaned her head against her window and gazed at the city skyline. She felt nauseous again and decided that she’d been ignoring what was happening to her body for too long. Her period had always been irregular, heck, she didn’t even get it until she was fifteen. But the previous night when she was trying to fall asleep, she realized she hadn’t gotten her period in a couple of months. Maybe this isn’t just trial stress or teenage irregularity? Maybe this is all something else? she’d worried.
“Mom?” Emily blurted out, surprising even herself, as Charlie veered off the highway onto their exit.
“Yes, sweetie?” Debbie asked as she lowered the Steely Dan song playing from the front speakers.
“Can we stop at CVS on the way home?”
“Sure, hon,” Debbie said quietly. Emily could see her mom and Charlie glance at each other from the rearview mirror, but neither said anything. Charlie pulled up to the CVS, conveniently located next to a Herman’s liquor store, and Debbie and Charlie got out at the same time as Emily.
“Meet back here in ten minutes?” Debbie asked as she grabbed Charlie’s hand and pulled him toward the liquor store.
“Sure,” Emily said warily. She headed nervously toward the CVS as she heard Nate roll down his window.
“Want me to come in with you, Em? Are you okay?” he asked, his eyebrows furrowed. He didn’t ask what she was buying, and Emily wasn’t sure if he instinctually knew or not. He certainly was acting like whatever she was going in there for was serious. And as much as she loved having a twin brother, it was times like this it would’ve been nice to have a sister. Nate would never understand missing a period or the woes of having to buy a pregnancy test at sixteen.
“I’m okay, thanks,” she said, grateful for his offer, but needing to do this on her own.
She trudged inside and scanned the aisles until she came to the diapers, feminine products, and pregnancy test section. Searching through her choices, she tried to decide which one was best. There were digital ones, two-packs, and cheap-looking ones. I wonder if they all work the same? She grabbed the one that said it showed two blue lines if you were pregnant and one blue line if you weren’t pregnant. Seems clear enough, she thought as she headed toward the cashier.
As she approached, she saw a group of guys about her age buying cigarettes and she veered past them and marched into the makeup aisle. I need to stall until they leave. I can’t let them see what I’m buying. She scanned the Cover Girl display and grabbed some waterproof mascara; her mom and she could use some more for the trial. Surveying the guys as they left, she casually walked up to the cash register and put down the pregnancy test with the mascara balancing strategically on top of it. The cashier licked his greasy fingers as he opened a plastic bag and scanned both items, placing them in the bag without peering up at her. She mentally thanked him for not giving her a judgmental look for buying a pregnancy test and handed him the exact change due. As she headed out of the store, Debbie and Charlie were already outside the car smoking another cigarette, each holding a brown bag of liquor.
“You good?” Debbie asked, knowingly stepping lightly on the situation.
“Yeah,” Emily mumbled as she veered past her and got into the car. She sat next to Nate and could feel him watching her as she leaned her head back against the window. Her mom and Charlie sipped from their brown bags as Charlie drove them home, and finally they pulled into their neighborhood.
“Do you want me to come back to the house with you or do you want space?” Nate leaned over and whispered so quietly, Emily barely even heard him. She looked at the concern on his face, wondering what was going on in his mind. All of this couldn’t be easy for him.
“Space,” she mouthed, reaching over and placing her hand on top of his so he knew that she appreciated his act of kindness.
As they passed by The Pit, Nate asked to be dropped off.
“I’m meeting some classmates for a project,” he announced, hopping out of the car.
As soon as they pulled up to the house, Emily unbuckled her seatbelt and went straight to the bathroom. She ripped open the box and read the directions carefully, huddling over the toilet and peeing on the stick with her full bladder. She carefully put the stick back in the box, then placed it back in her purse. As she exited the bathroom, carefully making sure not to shake the test inside of her purse, she passed by her mom and Charlie sitting on the couch watching TV with their bottles in hand.
“You want us to order pizza for dinner, hon?” Debbie asked as she shuffled past her toward the bedroom.
“Yeah, sure, whatever,” Emily said quickly as she slipped past them and closed her door. She swiftly locked the door behind her and took the test out carefully, making sure not to look down at it yet. She placed the test on her dresser and counted: “One Mississippi, Two Mississippi, Three Mississippi . . .”