THE BLINKING CURSOR stared back at Gabby, taunting her as she searched for the right words for her college scholarship essay. After the long day working at the day care, her brain felt like mush, but the deadline loomed—forty-eight hours to be exact—so she grabbed a root beer, pulled up a chair at the office desktop, and tried to come up with something . . . anything.
As nice as it was being in the day care when screaming sticky kids weren’t all up in her face, it was eerie being in the church complex after hours, when it was so quiet and empty. This was how so many of those horror flicks she watched on Netflix started, after all. But she knew staying after hours was the only way she’d be able to write her essay in peace. Her mom, while a very pleasant houseguest, couldn’t stop talking or humming, bless her heart. Despite the quiet, Gabby had spent the last two hours staring at that screen, trying to come up with the perfect answer to the seemingly simple question: “Which experience in your own life has influenced you the most?”
A few things had come to mind. She started to write about her experience growing up in Section 8 housing. How she and Claire would play “Fancy House” and pretend they lived in mansions. But she wondered if that really influenced her life, other than teaching her to pretend things weren’t as desperate as they seemed. Then she tried talking about growing up with a single mother, and how she and Elaine had to be there for each other, but she didn’t want the scholarship committee to think she was trying to win with a sob story.
The cursor kept blinking. She kept thinking. Finally, she started to type:
Have you ever wanted something so bad but were told you couldn’t have it? I’ve often felt like I’m the poster child for this. Time and time again in my life, I’ve dreamed and worked toward something only to hit the big wall of “no.” One of the hardest moments of my life was when I was told I couldn’t go to college—not because I couldn’t get in, but because I couldn’t afford it.
I know you asked for one single experience, but I’d like to lump together all of the “no’s” and “you can’t do that’s” into one. They, as a whole, have influenced me more than anything else. Without these individual setbacks throughout the years, I don’t know if I would have finally gotten to the point where I am right now, saying, “Enough is enough! It’s time to make things happen.”
After twenty-one years of being told I can’t have these things I’ve wanted so badly, I’ve finally learned my lesson: I’m not going to take no for an answer anymore.
I am writing this essay in hopes of getting financial help so that I can finally go to college. Of course you can say no (and you might), but for the first time in my life, I’m happy to say that I plan on doing it even if someone tells me no—because in my heart, I believe that dreams should come true and some things are worth fighting for.
Gabby looked at the essay and took a deep breath, starting to edit bits and pieces of it. The day care’s doorbell rang, the shrill sound echoing through the empty room.
Her eyes shot toward the door, her heart beating fast. Who would be trying to get into the day care at 8:00 p.m.?
The doorbell rang again. Gabby grabbed a baseball bat from the sports closet and walked cautiously to the front door. She peered through the glass and her heart leaped into her throat. There, on the other side of the door, was the most unexpected sight of all: Tony.
She wanted to collect her thoughts, but it was too late—he’d already seen her. He raised a hand in greeting. She sighed in nervous anticipation and slowly opened the door. “What are you doing here?”
Tony stood there with a serious expression, his hands in the back pockets of his Levi’s. “Can we talk?”
“How did you find me?” Gabby crossed her arms over her chest, as if holding herself together.
“I have my ways,” he said, attempting a half-smile. “Can I come in?”
She nodded slowly and opened the door wider. They stood in the entrance, a small hallway covered with the kids’ drawings on one wall, and the other covered in chalkboard paint. She leaned her shoulder against the blackboard wall, the now familiar shame and embarrassment resurfacing. “Why are you here?” she tried again. It’d been a week since they ran into each other at the mall. Maybe he wanted to tell her off, or rub it in her face that he’d moved on.
Tony leaned his head against six-year-old Jacob Marston’s monster artwork. He had written the words “I smell” in big letters above it, an arrow pointing to the drawing, and it now appeared as though the arrow was pointing to Tony’s head. She bit back a small smile, then took a deep breath and braced herself for what he was about to say.
He shook his head angrily. “My dad told me everything. . . .”
Her heart stopped, not expecting to hear that. Why would Mr. Ford make such a big deal out of not telling Tony . . . and then tell him? Was it to hurt her even more? To prove that she was so devious that she would use him for a trade? To let Tony know just how trashy her family was? Anger festered inside her, making her palms sweat.
“I’m so ashamed, Gabby.” Tony lowered his eyes. “I’m so . . .” He paused. “I’m so sorry.”
She looked up in confusion. “Wait, what?”
“Can we sit down?” He started walking into the main playroom. “There’s a lot I have to say to you.”
Gabby led him to a small kids’ tea table in the middle of the room. “Have a seat,” she said, still thrown by his words. They both sat down, their knees bending so much they almost touched the floor.
“My dad did a horrible thing,” he said, fiddling with the tiny teacup in front of him.
She grabbed the other teacup, needing something to fidget with. “No, Tony, I did a horrible thing.”
“Okay, true,” he said with a soft smirk. “You both did horrible things, but I’m here to apologize to you on his behalf.”
“Why did he tell you what happened?” She leaned forward and put the teacup in the saucer.
“Seeing you at the mall the other day . . . man, that really screwed me up.” Tony rubbed his neck and glanced up at the ceiling.
She nodded. Seeing him again had haunted her, too. As much as she tried to put the relationship to bed, to be thankful to have Elaine by her side, she couldn’t stop thinking about him. When her car had gotten a flat the other day, her first thought had been to call him. And when she’d decided to go to college, she’d wanted to run to him and say, “Look, I can be the girl you fell in love with.” But then she’d remembered the withering look he’d given her and knew she’d never be anything but a liar in his eyes.
“I went home and told my parents I was gonna try to get you back. I didn’t know how I was gonna do it, but I was gonna fight for you, Gabs.” He held the teacup by the handle, moving it as he spoke, as if to punctuate his words.
She stared at him, disbelieving. “Why would you want me back after finding out that I lied to you? Aren’t you mad at me?”
“Of course.” He put the teacup down and grabbed her hand from across the table. “But I think I know you better than you realize. So, maybe I missed a couple of things. . . .” He chuckled quietly. “But I know that what we had was love and I don’t think you actually meant to deceive me. I remember those conversations with you at the beginning, and I remember making assumptions.” He pulled back his hands. “That doesn’t make what you did right.” He paused. “But I could understand why you might have done it.”
“I never meant to hurt you,” she said. “I hope you know that.”
Tony frowned. “When I was telling my parents I wanted you back, my dad ended up telling me about your deal.” He shook his head. “He refuses to admit that what he did was wrong, but it was . . . it was awful.” Tony’s brown eyes stared deeply into hers. “I’m so sorry that he put you in that position. I feel betrayed by him.”
She picked up the teacup to fiddle with. “It’s not his fault. It’s mine, Tony. He wouldn’t have done all of this if I hadn’t lied in the first place.” She lowered her head.
“Look, I don’t care whose fault it was.” He clenched his jaw and then softened his voice. “I got the facts wrong but the person right. Can we just start over? With honesty—the way we should have done in the first place?”
Gabby raised her head. Was he really saying what she thought he was saying? “But what about your new girlfriend?”
Tony’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Who?”
She bit her lip. “The girl you were with at the mall.”
He laughed. “That was my cousin, Mary-Anne.”
A knot of jealous tension unraveled in Gabby’s chest. She looked into his dark eyes and then at the nervous smile on his face. “So . . . you’re serious?”
“I’m very serious.” He stood up and reached for her hand, pulling her close to him between the tea party table and the jungle gym. “The girl I fell in love with is you.” He looked deep into her eyes. “I fell in love with your intelligence.” He touched her head. “It had nothing to do with you pretending to be enrolled in school. You didn’t fake your ideas or passion in our conversations.” He paused. “I fell in love with your heart.” He touched her chest. “The same one that chose to help her mom find a better life—and who could blame you for that? No other girl has made me feel the way that you do, and that is real.” He lifted her chin with his hand. “So what do you say? Can we just start fresh? I just want to be with you again. I love you, Gabby.”
Gabby’s heart fluttered, but questions kept popping into her mind. She wondered if Tony would be able to trust her moving forward, and whether this sense of embarrassment would fade or stay with her throughout the rest of their relationship? She also thought back to her college scholarship application on the desktop in the other room. She finally had plans—would her dreams fit into Tony’s life? But when she looked into his eyes, she knew what the answer was. They would figure it out . . . together. “I love you, too, Tony.”
His smile widened, and he kissed her. Gabby kissed him back, pouring all of the longing of the past two months into it. When he pulled away, she felt like she was standing on solid ground for the first time in months.
Tony’s eyes crinkled as he smiled at her. “You just make me so happy.” He kissed her again and lowered himself onto the ground, bending on one knee.
Gabby’s heart stopped. “When you said start over I thought—”
“Shhh,” he interrupted her, laughing. “I have a speech.”
Gabby blushed and nodded for him to continue.
“You’re the most important person in my life, and I don’t want to spend another day without you. I wanna try this again and do it right.” He pulled out the diamond engagement ring, the one she had given back to him at the café when they broke up. “Gabby Vaughn, will you marry me?”
Gabby put her hand on her heart. “Of course I’ll marry you!” She couldn’t say the words fast enough.
He slipped the ring on her finger. She looked down and admired it. Even though it was the same piece she had worn for six months, it looked different this time around. Somehow it was even more perfect. She wrapped her arms around Tony’s neck and held him close. “We should go celebrate.”
“Where do you want to go? For a drink? Out to dinner? You name it.”
Gabby pondered it for a second. “Actually, I’ve got a few people you need to meet.” She pulled her cell phone from her back pocket and texted her friends to meet them at the Sea Shack in thirty minutes. “And is it okay if we pick up my mom on the way there?”
He kissed her on the forehead. “That sounds perfect.”
“I’ll be right back!” Gabby ran into the office and saved her scholarship application essay to work on in the morning. She grabbed her bag, and they began walking out of the day care.
“So, there’s just one more thing . . .” Tony said as they reached the hallway.
Gabby stopped and looked nervously in his eyes. “What?”
“With my whole dad situation, I’m not asking my parents to help pay for the wedding anymore, so we can’t afford your dream wedding.”
She took a deep breath and then pulled him in closer for a kiss. “I don’t care about a stupid wedding anymore,” Gabby said. “All I want is you.”