CHAPTER FIFTEEN

The Predacious Pool

Pickering waded through into the dark tunnel after his cousin. He focused on the pale fleshy back moving forward in front of him.

‘There’s another one of those grate things here,’ Humphrey said. ‘We’re going to have to go under the water to get past it.’

‘Get on with it, then.’ Pickering snapped.

Humphrey bobbed down, and there was a long pause before he resurfaced on the other side.

‘This grate goes down much deeper,’ he spluttered. ‘I almost didn’t get under.’

‘I hardly think that’s going to be a problem for me.’ Pickering gloated, holding his nose as he ducked under.

There was a gap of about a metre between the river bed and the bottom of the grate. Pickering smiled to himself as he bounced up on the other side, thinking of the panic Humphrey must have felt squeezing under.

‘There better be no more grates,’ Humphrey growled, uncertain about going forward. It was almost pitch black in this section of the tunnel and the water was up to their stomachs now.

‘I’ll go first if there’s another one.’ Pickering replied. ‘Come on, we’re here now. I thought you were hungry?’

‘I am,’ Humphrey agreed.

Pickering became aware of a rumbling sound as they moved through the tunnel. Humphrey held up his hand, but the current dragged Pickering forward. The floor dropped away and Pickering screamed. Humphrey grabbed him by his hair as Pickering threw his hands up, grabbing on to his cousin’s arm. He was hanging over the edge of a waterfall, and the only thing that was stopping him from being swept away was Humphrey’s weight. He clambered along Humphrey’s arm, wrapping his legs around his hefty torso. The pair looked down at the drop into darkness.

‘How far down do you think it goes?’ Pickering wondered. The tunnel walls were metal and the ceiling and sides were smooth.

‘Maybe we should find out.’ Humphrey said.

‘I’m not going down there!’ Pickering exclaimed. ‘I’ll break my neck!’

‘You might not,’ Humphrey reasoned.

‘But I might!’

‘Well, I’m not going back to the jungle,’ Humphrey said. ‘And if this is the way to get a decent meal,’ he pointed down into the darkness, ‘then that’s the way I’m going.’

‘Now who’s crazy?’ Pickering unhooked his legs from Humphrey’s waist and looked around in a panic.

‘I’ll sit on the edge and slide down.’ Humphrey looked at Pickering. ‘You can sit on my lap if you want.’

Pickering straightened his neck in shock. This was the kindest thing Humphrey had ever said to him. ‘Really?’

‘I’ve got enough padding for both of us,’ Humphrey grinned, lowering himself down till he was sitting with his legs hanging over the waterfall, his left hand flat against the wall of the tunnel, to stop from being swept over the edge. He slapped his knee. ‘C’mon then, Pickers.’

Pickering scrambled on to Humphrey’s lap and closed his eyes.

‘Are you ready?’ Humphrey asked.

Pickering nodded.

‘One, two, THREE!’

Pickering felt Humphrey shove him and he screamed as he tumbled – alone – down the waterfall. After a few seconds he realized the waterfall was sloped, like a slide, and then he shot out into a small lagoon in a dimly lit room.

‘Are you dead?’ Humphrey called down after him.

‘You hateful, traitorous, wretched OAF!’ screamed Pickering.

There was no reply, but a minute later Humphrey came thundering down the waterfall like a cannonball, belly-flopping into the pool with a thunderous slap. He surfaced a moment later, spluttering and rubbing his tummy.

‘You could have killed me!’ Pickering shouted at him.

‘You’re alive, aren’t you?’ Humphrey shrugged. ‘And we’re that little bit closer to dinner.’ He looked about. ‘Where are we?’

‘Look. Over there.’ Pickering swam towards the outline of a hexagonal door. ‘Oh, there’s a strong current here.’ He swam harder. ‘It’s dragging me down.’ He doggy-paddled frantically, fighting the current and focusing on getting to the door.

‘Ouch!’ Humphrey squealed. ‘Get off!’

‘I’m nowhere near you!’ Pickering shouted as his hands scooped at the water, pulling him forward.

‘Not you. Ow!’ Humphrey slapped at the surface of the water. ‘There’s something alive in here with us and it’s biting me.’

Pickering thrashed about in the water, kicking his legs faster in panic. He had to get to the door. ‘What is it?’ he cried. ‘A shark? A crocodile?’

‘No,’ Humphrey roared. ‘They’re little and there’s loads of them. Arggghhhhh!’ He half-waded, half-swam towards Pickering.

‘Stay away from me,’ Pickering screamed. ‘I don’t want to get bitten.’ There was a ledge at the foot of the hexagonal door, he was nearly there. He threw his long arms up in front of him, hurling his body forward and grabbing on. The current was weaker here, and he was no longer being dragged backwards. He felt his way up the door.

‘There’s no handle!’ he cried out in despair.

‘NNNNNNaaaarghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!’ Humphrey screamed. ‘HELP ME! GET ME OUT OF HERE!’

Pickering stared in panic at his cousin, who was thrashing about, half drowning in the water. Any second he expected a shark’s head to surge up out of the water and tear Humphrey apart. ‘What is it?’ The terror was rising so fast in his chest that he wanted to vomit.

‘They’re inside my pants!’ Humphrey shoved a hand into his underwear and pulled out a handful of black shapes. ‘They’re biting my peanuts!’

‘What are they?’ Pickering stared at the small black beasties, suddenly less frightened.

‘They’re blasted BEETLES!’ Humphrey flung them across the water and exploded into an incandescent rage. ‘Swimming beetles! Did you know beetles could swim?’

Pickering shook his head as Humphrey ranted.

‘I hate beetles more than any other horrible creature on this planet.’ He repeatedly punched the water. ‘DIE! DIE! DIE! ARGHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!’

‘Calm down, they’re only beetles,’ Pickering barked. ‘Someone will hear us.’ Now that he knew the biting monsters were insects, and not a massive shark, he felt a lot braver. ‘Ouch!’ Something pinched his elbow. He looked down at the surface of the water and in the dim orange light he could see the surface shimmering with dark brown spoon-sized shapes. He tried to push the water away, but the black shapes dived down, and a second later he felt a thousand tiny bites to his stomach and thighs. He thrashed around, trying to brush the insects away. ‘Aaarghhhh! My nipples!’ he howled as the beetles started biting on top of their bites. ‘WHAT KIND OF BEETLES ARE THESE?’ he cried as he slapped his chest, trying to kill the nasty nippers.

‘Predacious diving beetles,’ said a dopey voice above him.

Pickering looked up. The door was open. Dankish bent down and grabbed Pickering by the arms, lifting him out of the pool and tossing him on to the floor. The beetles retreated back into the water.

Humphrey flailed his way over, unbothered by the current, and Dankish helped him out, laughing as he danced about shaking his bottom and pulling at his pants, trying to get the last insects out.

Dankish took a small square black screen out of his pocket. He touched it, and a white hexagon appeared. ‘Craven? You’ll never guess who I’ve found in one of the beetle pools? It’s those two weird guys from the Emporium . . . Yeah! Them!’