CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

Humphrey’s Recital

‘Cooooeeeeeeeeeeee! Lucretia, darling. Where are you?’

Darkus looked up. Above him, on a mezzanine floor, were Pickering and Humphrey. They were standing beside a grand piano, looking out over the forest of Arcadia and calling for Lucretia Cutter.

‘DOWN HERE!’ Darkus shouted. ‘LUCRETIA CUTTER IS DOWN HERE!’

Humphrey turned but Pickering sprinted, almost tripping over his own feet. He leant over the railing and stared down into the laboratory. ‘Lucretia, my sweet, come out, come out, wherever you are. We need to talk,’ he called.

‘She’s there, Pickering.’ Darkus pointed at the giant hovering form of Lucretia Cutter. ‘That’s your darling Lucretia Cutter.’

Lucretia Cutter looked up at Pickering and he started screaming, backing away from the balustrade and grabbing at Humphrey, who was stumbling up behind him, blinking and looking dopey.

‘Humpty! Humpty!’ Pickering squawked. ‘It’s a giant beetle!’

‘What are you talking about?’ Humphrey pushed his hysterical cousin aside and strode forward only to stagger backwards when his eyes landed on the giant form of Lucretia Cutter swiping at Ling Ling, who, tired from sustained combat, stumbled.

‘Help us!’ Darkus called up to Humphrey.

‘That giant beetle has eaten my one true love!’ Pickering wailed. ‘The boy said she was in there! That nasty, disgusting, dirty, giant creepy-crawly has swallowed up my future wife and now we won’t get our money!’ He made a rasping choking noise, and Darkus realized he was crying. ‘Nasty, filthy, scrabbling, rancorous, loathsome beast.’ He beat on Humphrey’s back with his fists. ‘KILL IT, HUMPTY! That insect has eaten our money!’ He grabbed at Humphrey, who was staring at Lucretia Cutter. ‘Where will we live now? We have nothing.’

Humphrey turned and strode away. Darkus’s heart sank as the cousins disappeared from view. He looked at Ling Ling, who was on her knees, trying to defend herself, still not hitting back.

Lucretia Cutter was struggling too. She dropped to the ground, her heavy exoskeleton making her stumble forward. She raised her arms and Ling Ling, tired and accepting, brought her hands together in front of her chest and bowed her head, waiting for the killer blow.

‘NO!’ Darkus shouted.

There was a roar from above. Darkus threw himself backwards covering Novak just in time as a grand piano dropped from the balcony.

The vision of the falling piano was accompanied by a tuneless cacophony of music, hammers hitting strings, strings twanging and snapping, wood tearing.

Lucretia Cutter flew back as the weight of the piano hit her, crushing and flattening her. For a moment all that could be heard was the reverberation of the piano strings.

Lucretia Cutter’s beetly body spasmed three times and then fell still.

‘Ha ha ah aha ha ahahah ha ha!’ Pickering’s crazed laughter rang out. ‘You did it, Humpty! You crushed the bug.’ He flung his arms around his cousin. ‘It’s dead! Splat!’

Gerard ran into the room, and fell to his knees beside Darkus and Novak. ‘Are you OK?’

Darkus nodded at Gerard. ‘I’ve broken my wrist, and my hip hurts, but Novak’s bleeding.’ He looked down at her. Her eyes were closed.

‘Mademoiselle, it’s all over now.’ Gerard took Novak’s hand. ‘Please, for me, open your eyes.’

Novak’s eyes flickered open and she smiled at Gerard.

‘I’m hurt,’ she whispered.

‘It’s OK. I’m here now.’ Gerard took off his jacket and rolled her on to Darkus’s lap, taking a look at the cut on her back. ‘It’s just the skin that is cut, ma cherie.’ He laid his jacket under her and rolled her back into it. ‘I will carry you.’

‘My dad,’ Darkus said. ‘He’s trapped in the pupator. I don’t know how to open the door?’

Gerard pointed. ‘The silver switch on the end.’

Darkus, pulled himself on to his knees and, with Gerard’s help, stood up. He limped over to the console and flipped the switch. The door of the pupator slid open and his father lurched out of it.

‘Darkus! Are you OK?’

His father half ran, half stumbled down the steps and through the metal door into the lab, groggy from the sleeping gas that had been piped into the pupator.

Darkus turned to him and smiled. ‘It’s over. She’s gone, Dad. She’s dead.’

He took two steps towards his dad when he heard Novak scream.

He spun around as Lucretia Cutter rose up screeching like a hawk, throwing off the piano and grabbing him around the waist. He didn’t have time to cry out as he was dragged forward. Her jaws widened and he was engulfed by the smell of rotten bananas. He was going to die.

He heard his father shout. Lucretia Cutter’s head flew backwards, away from Darkus. He fell, the sharp spikes of her legs cutting his skin. He hit the floor and cried out. He tried to roll away, but gasped in pain. He saw Gerard’s face and felt the butler grab him under his armpits and drag him backwards. Darkus saw his father standing in front of him, feet astride, holding the harpoon gun. Bartholomew Cuttle reloaded it, pointed it at Lucretia Cutter’s chest and fired a second shot that catapulted her backwards, against the wall. She thrashed about, screaming, pinned to the wall by the harpoon. Her legs and arms jerked twice, then dropped, and she fell still, her head rolling forward.

Darkus stared at her, not daring to believe she was gone, expecting her to rise yet again.

His dad dropped the harpoon gun and stumbled down to his knees, taking hold of Darkus and gently hugging him. Darkus could feel his dad’s chest rising and falling and realized he was crying.

‘It’s OK, Dad. It’s all going to be OK now,’ he said.