"I don't know what you're so bent about," she said a few minutes later, after she'd pocketed her eight ball winnings. "This'll pay for all the gas we need to drive around to the hospitals instead of—"
"It's a quarter a game," I told her. "You played one game."
"So far," she agreed. "But the day is young."
"So are you." I took her cue stick. "Your table," I told the eighty-something who was waiting on the side. He peered at me through thick bifocals. "I want to play her." He pointed a shaking finger in Maizy's direction.
"No problem," Maizy said cheerfully, making a move for the rack.
"Big problem," I snapped. "You are not playing any more pool. We have to go talk to the green man."
She pulled an exaggerated sigh and threw up her hands.
"You oughta let your daughter have a little fun once in awhile," the geezer told me.
Now, that cut it. I stormed over to the bar, dragging Maizy along with me, before I bonked the creep in the head with a billiard ball. I ordered two sodas, and we sat on the two stools nearest the door to the kitchen. "Here's the plan," I told her. "I'm going to sneak into the kitchen and see if I can ask the green man some questions. You be my lookout."
Maizy rolled her eyes. "Why do you have to make everything so complicated?"
Know-it-all. "I suppose you have a better idea?"
"Wait for it," she said, and turned a full-wattage smile on the bartender when he delivered our sodas. "Is it too early for me to get a burger and fries?"
"Course not." He wiped his hands on the towel draped over his shoulder. "I'll put it in right away. Does Mom want something?" And he looked at me.
If it wasn't for my bad ankle, I'd have run right behind that bar and kicked him in the shin. "What's with all this Mom crap?" I huffed. "I'm only thir—I'm too young to be her mother!"
He took a step back, his hands going up in apology.
"I'm sorry about that," Maizy told him. "Menopause."
He nodded, shrugged, ran the towel across his forehead, and fled into the kitchen in case it was catching.
Maizy turned to me. "That's how you do it."
I ignored her. Too busy stewing in my own non-menopausal juices. Sure, my jeans and sweatshirt were loose-fitting, but that's only because I was built like a cue stick. Spandex would have been loose-fitting on me. But clearly I was doing something wrong. After we found Jack, I was going to have to invest in a complete overhaul.
"I want you to know I'm having a really good time," she said, very softly.
Yeah, yeah. Whatever.
She tapped me on the forearm. "Did I do something wrong? Are you mad at me?"
I glanced at her. "No, you—well, yes, you did, but no, not really." I sighed. "I just don't see how this is going to help—"
The kitchen door swung open, and the green man scuttled through, carrying a plate loaded with Maizy's burger and fries. She lifted her hand, and he skidded to a stop in front of us. Maizy slid me a sideways grin. I had to hand it to her. The kid could think on her feet.
"Can I ask you something?" I said before he bolted.
He cut his eyes to me. He had deep brown eyes, nearly black, under dark eyebrows. He wasn't bad looking, except for that green thing. "You want to know why I'm green."
I blinked. "That's not what I was going to ask."
"Why are you green?" Maizy asked him, chomping on a fry. I probably shouldn't let her eat that food, considering it had marinated in a cloud of dust.
"It's an allergic reaction," he said.
Obviously not to other peoples' money.
"To what?" she asked.
"Well, that's rude," he told her. "Don't you know better than to ask strangers personal questions?" He turned to me. "Why don't you teach your—"
"Don't say it," I warned him. "I don't want to hear that word come out of your mouth."
"Why's that rude?" Maizy asked. "You're green, dude. Like nobody's supposed to notice?"
"Oh yeah?" He leaned his elbows on the bar. "Well, your hair's blue. Why's your hair blue?"
She smirked. "It's an allergic reaction. To jerks."
A red flush flowed up under all that green. He pushed himself upright. I stood up and stepped closer to Maizy. "I saw what you did," I told him, keeping my voice low. "At the mall. Stealing those people's money."
He turned those nearly black eyes on me. "What are you talking about?"
"You were wearing a green Morphsuit. With a Santa hat. And you were handing out candy canes." I took a breath. "And you stole that El Camino out in the parking lot, too."
"Did not," he shot back. "My brother Dino gave me that El Camino when I graduated from vo-tech." He snorted. "Some gift. It needed a new tranny. I just got it running."
Not sure that I believed in the incredible coincidence of two red El Caminos, but I let that slide for the moment. "What about stealing the money?"
"I never go to the mall. I'm a dude. Dudes hate malls." He clapped a hand to his heart. "And I would never steal anything from anyone, especially at Christmas time." He ran a finger under his eye. Another minute and he'd be whipping out a hanky.
Someone yelled from the kitchen "Algae!"
"Look, I gotta get back to work." He gave the bar two quick knuckle raps. "It's been charming. Hope you find what you're looking for." And he skittered back to the kitchen, trailing a nasty, little laugh.
Maizy and I looked at each other. "Algae?" she said.
I shrugged. "You gotta admit—it suits him."