I’ve accumulated many debts while writing this book. Kate Horsfield told me about her trip to South Florida, which sparked my interest in this project. Her tales of growing up as a boyish girl in Texas in the 1950s were always interesting and fun. Ben Shepherd graciously opened his life up to me, allowing me to accompany him on doctor visits and hang out with him before and after surgery and in Maine, and we Skyped and talked more times than either of us can remember over the course of nearly two years. He also read the entire manuscript and gave me feedback on it, helpfully debating with me at times about my take on things, including my interpretation of his life story. Throughout it all, he was always cheerful and wise. He also introduced me to Chrissy, Lindsey, Megan, and Allison, who spoke with me about their good friend, along with his brother, Chris. To Ben, I am eternally grateful.
I never really knew what Gail and Bob thought of the middle-aged college professor who landed, seemingly out of the blue, in their family. Was I being a pest by asking them lots of personal questions? Was I intruding upon their privacy? They said they hoped my book might “help other families going through this process.” When we spoke by phone the month before my trip to Maine, Ben thanked me for spending time with them in Florida. “I think it was really useful for my parents,” he said. Perhaps my presence offered a neutral listening space. In any event, I learned a great deal from them, for which I am very grateful.
Parker, Nadia, and Lucas were more than generous to share their stories. I am hugely thankful to them for putting up with my curiosity; for their openness, good humor, and thoughtfulness, and for their willingness to go public. Getting to know each of them over the course of a year was a highlight of researching and writing this book. Thanks are also due to those who accompanied them to surgery in Florida, for speaking with me.
Wendy Chapkis, Sonja Pei-Fen Dale, Steven Epstein, Joshua Gamson, Janice Irvine, Tey Meadow, Joanne Meyerowitz, Sharon Miller, Jodi O’Brien, Jenni Olson, Julee Raiskin, Susan Stryker, Polly Thistlethwaite, and Phil Zuckerman offered helpful comments, introductions, or conversations. I explored some of the ideas that eventually made their way into this book at a seminar at the Institute for Research on Women, with Yolanda Martínez-San Miguel and Sarah Tobias at the helm. Thanks to the seminar, I met JB Brager, who became a research assistant on this project, and whose knowledge and skills were invaluable. The Rutgers Research Council and the School of Arts and Sciences gave me several small grants that made it possible for me to conduct the research for this book. I am thankful to my colleagues in the Department of Sociology at Rutgers. I am especially grateful to Sarah Tobias for supporting my work and for making the Institute for Research on Women such a wonderful space for feminist collaboration; conversations with Ali Howell and Kyla Schuller were also helpful.
In Maine, Wendy Chapkis and Gabe Demaine opened up their home to me; Lisa Sette and Liz Bradfield did so on the Cape. Debbie Nadolney and Sue Goldberg made being there so much fun. Audiences at the Eastern Sociological Society, the International Sociological Association, and the University of Oregon gave me useful feedback, for which I am grateful. A special shout-out to Tom Linneman, Jennifer Putzi, and their students in the Gender, Sexuality, and Women’s Studies program at the College of William and Mary. Thanks are also due to Heather Love at Public Books, and to anonymous reviewers at Contexts magazine, where sections of this book previously appeared.
Many people shared their time and expertise with me. Arlene Lev, Margaret Nichols, Jack Pula, Marilyn Volker, and Katherine Rachlin helped me to better understand the therapeutic process as it plays out in the lives of transgender individuals. I am very grateful to each of them for their patience and generosity, though they do not necessarily agree with all of the conclusions I drew from our conversations. Likewise, Michael Brownstein, Charles Garramone, Sherman Leis, Russell Sassani, and Paul Weiss spoke with me about gender surgery and their experiences serving transgender men, and they were generous with their time. Jamison Green shared his personal and political history with me, as did Macauley DeVun, Chris Donovan, Kristin Pula, and Carson Terry. Ben Singer answered some of my questions about transgender health activism, and Henry Rubin helped me better understand the history of social research on transgender. Esther Newton and Deborah Edel talked with me at length about the history of butch lesbian subcultures and loaned me some documentary materials.
In Florida, guests and staffers at New Beginnings, including Daemon, Pete, Sally, Len, Rose, Tristan, James, and others, shared their stories with me. Leland Koble graciously offered his time and insights into Florida’s transgender community, as did Bishop S. F. Makalani-MaHee. Sadly, Bishop passed away unexpectedly as this book was nearing completion.
Raine Dozier, Sal Johnston, Ken Plummer, Elizabeth Reis, and stef shuster read the entire manuscript and gave me valuable feedback that helped make this a much better book. Their incisive comments are proof that intellectual work is a collective enterprise, even if it is not always acknowledged as such. I would also like to express gratitude for the work of many pioneering transgender scholars and authors, some of whom are listed in the bibliography. And big thanks to Ted Conover for helping me hone my storytelling skills.
Miriam Altshuler, my agent, found a wonderful home for this project. My editor, Maria Goldverg, offered feedback on multiple drafts and ably guided the manuscript to publication. Her sage advice was invaluable. Copyeditor Helen Maggie Carr navigated the complexities of gendered language with finesse and good humor.
Finally, Cynthia Chris talked through many of the ideas in this book, read a draft, walked our aging beagle, and cooked more than her share of meals. For that and much more, I am truly madly deeply grateful.