Many people have helped make this book a reality. I mention only some here by name, but I am very grateful to all who have helped me on this journey.
Foremost, I would like to express my heartfelt appreciation to the many survivors and intimate partners of survivors I have become acquainted with through counseling, research, conferences, and workshops. Their courage, persistence, and accomplishments have inspired me, professionally and personally. I am grateful that many of them chose to share their personal struggles and triumphs in this book. Their stories and words give the material emotional depth, immediacy, and rich meaning. This book is written in honor of them and of all people traveling on sexual healing journeys.
A special thank-you goes to Harriet Goldhor Lerner for recognizing the significance of my work and for providing me with valuable author-to-author counsel and affable support.
I am also grateful for the support of clinical colleagues who have been interfacing sexual abuse and sexuality. Their insights, knowledge, research, and writings have helped me in developing my own treatment strategies and techniques, which, in turn, generated material for this book. Several colleagues’ work has been of particular importance in this new field, namely, Derek Jehu, Judith Becker, Peter Dimock, Barry McCarthy, Patrick Carnes, Joe LoPiccolo, Christine Courtois, Jan Hindman, and Mark Schwartz.
I also thank Felicia Eth, my literary agent, for her friendly, enthusiastic, direct, and competent representation, and my brother-in-law, Richard Garzilli, for his expert contract review and legal advice.
During the course of the writing, I was blessed with help from some extremely bright and competent people. In particular, I thank my editor, Janet Goldstein, for her superb editorial guidance in planning and developing the book from its inception. Janet’s warmth, friendliness, intellect, and gifted editorial skills helped me realize my own ability as a writer who could produce a popular book. Her awareness of psychological processes and personal growth helped shape the book to be sensitive to the many different survivors for whom it is written. It was marvelous to have an editor who enthusiastically supported the project and believed in the social importance of my work.
In addition, I thank two very special, talented writers who provided “in the trenches” editorial consultation. Dean Baker, a Eugene writer, provided friendly and creative assistance in the early stages of preparing the manuscript. I am especially indebted to his keen ability to translate psychological jargon and concepts into everyday language. Suzie Boss, a Portland, Oregon, writer, provided essential help with the arduous task of revising the manuscript. Suzie’s consistent encouragement, compassionate understanding, and outstanding writing abilities helped me keep an active pace through numerous drafts and made a valuable contribution to the final shape of the book.
I am also indebted to a number of people who read the first draft of the manuscript and gave helpful feedback, specifically, Larry Maltz, Karla Baur, Peter Dimock, Ellen Bass, Laura Davis, Norma Ragsdale, Susan and Dale Goodman, Bryan McCrea, and my father, Joe Becker. Their knowledge, perceptive insights, and sensitivities helped me acknowledge areas in the book that needed improvement and further development.
I am deeply grateful to my family and friends for providing continual, loving encouragement and support during the nearly two years this book was being written. Friends Sandy Solomon and Lucia Hardy helped me brainstorm the outline and focus for the book. My parents, Joe and Arlene Becker, who taught me the value of persistence and determination, provided loving support. And I thank my siblings, Jane Garzilli, Sara Nielsen, and Bill Becker, for their understanding and enthusiasm for this project. My sister-in-law, Suzanne Jennings, was especially kind, sending me cards and writings to lift my spirits during those inevitable times when I felt bogged down by all the work.
Larry, my husband, spent countless days and evenings taking care of our children and household so that I could work on the book. He discussed theories and ideas with me and offered new insights. He cheered on my progress and comforted me when I felt discouraged. I do not believe I could have written this book were it not for his understanding, wisdom, tender reassurances, and nurturing love.
My children, Jules and Cara, showed tremendous support given how difficult it was for them, at times, to have their mother so preoccupied. They both helped me with the research: stamping envelopes, sorting mailers, and preparing the questionnaires. I was particularly moved by the sweet hugs, kisses, and words of encouragement they gave me after quietly entering the computer room when they missed me or wanted to show they cared. Given my family’s personal sacrifices, contributions, and enduring support, this book is best described as a Maltz family production.
A special thank-you goes to Jessica McGrady, Stephanie Meyers, and Calvert Morgan, editors at HarperCollins, for their friendly support and work on the third edition update of this book. And I wish to thank Larry, again, for help with another revision, and for spiriting me away from update work to join him on hikes, canoe trips, bike rides, sunset dinners, and more.