Leah, Sara and Ellie were clearing away the noon meal when Thomas drove his horse and open buggy into the yard. Hiram’s dog barked, and Leah turned away from the window, her heart suddenly thudding in her chest. “It’s Thomas,” she said. “I don’t want to see him.”
“Don’t want to see him?” Ellie repeated. “Have you two had a fight? I knew something was wrong.” She cast a knowing look at Sara. “Didn’t I tell you? Leah’s been moping around for days.”
Hiram jumped up from the table where he’d been finishing a second cup of coffee. “I got chores to do.” Grabbing his hat from a hook on the wall, he hurried outside.
Leah put the dishes she’d carried from the table into the sink and untied her apron before turning to Sara. “I was waiting for a chance to tell you.” She didn’t make eye contact. “We’ve broken off the courtship. I can’t marry Thomas.”
Sara uttered a sound of exasperation. “If this is serious, you should have come to me. Why didn’t you?”
“You aren’t my mother,” Leah said.
“No.” Sara’s mouth pursed in barely concealed pique. “I’m your matchmaker. You hired me to find the right husband for you. And if there is a problem—”
“I’m an adult. I don’t have to explain to someone else why—” Leah broke off, suddenly mortified by the realization of how rude she sounded. “I’m sorry, Sara,” she said, suddenly close to tears. “It’s just that the reason we can’t... It’s personal. I didn’t feel free to discuss it with anyone.” She glanced out the window again. “He’s coming. I can’t talk to him.” Running away might make her appear to be a foolish child, but she couldn’t face him. “Please, Sara, I just can’t—”
“Stuff and nonsense. Of course you’ll speak to him. Whatever went wrong, we’ll get to the bottom of it. Unless—” Sara’s dark eyes narrowed. “Thomas didn’t behave in—”
“Ne, nothing like that.” Leah felt her cheeks grow hot with embarrassment. “Thomas would never attempt anything that would damage my honor—or his. He’s a good man, the best, but—” She made a sound of distress. She didn’t want to talk about this. She didn’t want to think about it. “It’s not Thomas that’s the problem, Sara—it’s me.”
The screen door squeaked and Leah heard Thomas’s footsteps on the porch.
“I’ve got mending to do,” Ellie proclaimed before darting out of the kitchen.
Sara looked at Leah directly. “Sit down. Running away isn’t the answer.”
Leah felt light-headed. “I don’t want to talk to him. There’s nothing to say.”
“Courtship is serious. You have every right to break it off. And so does Thomas,” Sara said. “But there’s a proper way to do it.”
Leah slid into a kitchen chair. She had considered fleeing anyway, but she wasn’t certain her legs would carry her. She wanted to cry. She felt so bad. Breaking up with Thomas had been the right thing to do. He deserved better. She just wasn’t sure she could face him without bursting into tears again. This never would have happened if Sara had matched her with a settled older widower like she’d asked.
Leah heard footsteps and then Thomas’s tall frame filled the doorway. He snatched off his hat, gripping it so hard between his fingers that it crumpled. “Leah. We have to talk.” His dark eyes were bloodshot, as if he hadn’t slept. She could well understand that. She couldn’t sleep, either. She felt sick.
“Sit down, Thomas.” Sara rescued his hat and pushed a cup of coffee into his hands.
“Give me another chance,” he said, staring at Leah. “I love you, Leah. I’ll do whatever you want.”
“Sit!” Sara pointed to a chair across from her. “Look at the two of you. Miserable as hens in a puddle. Long faces. And all because of a silly quarrel.”
Thomas sat down hard. Leah felt his gaze on her, and she looked away and then down at her hands in her lap. Looking at him made it even harder to explain how she felt. She sat, hands laced together, knees trembling.
“I want to talk,” he said. “That’s all I was trying to do, to talk something out, but Leah thought I meant I’d made a decision and—”
“I overreacted,” Leah blurted. “I did. But that’s because...” She exhaled. “I can’t marry Thomas. I just can’t. I’m sorry I let it get this far. It was a mistake. I know that now.”
“Leah, please,” Thomas said. “You can’t just walk away from me. What we have...what we’ve done together means something. Whatever is wrong, we can fix it. I don’t understand—”
“Exactly,” she burst out. “You couldn’t.” She glanced at Sara, saw the disappointment and impatience in her eyes and found the strength to rise to her feet. “I respect you, Sara. You’ve been good to me, and I know you mean well, but I’m not right for Thomas and there’s no sense in us talking about this. Find someone else for him. He deserves a good wife. It just can’t be me.”
With that, she walked away from him, out of the kitchen, and ran up the stairs to her bedroom. She closed the door behind her and went to the window, fighting tears. She leaned her face against the windowpane as waves of emotion surged through her. The sense of loss she’d felt when Daniel had died returned in full. “Help me,” she prayed. “Please show me the way I should go.”
* * *
Downstairs, Thomas looked at Sara. “What do I do now?” he asked. He got to his feet. “How do I fix this between us if I don’t know what’s wrong? If she won’t even talk to me?” He shook his head. “The whole conversation was about whether or not we should consider being Mennonite instead of Amish. I never said that was what I wanted. I just wanted to talk to her about it. I wouldn’t have brought it up if I’d known this would happen.”
“I see.” Sara nodded. “All right. So, in your heart of hearts, what would you rather do with your life? Would you rather remain in the Amish church or become Mennonite?”
“Amish. If it were my choice alone, there would be no question. I was only thinking of Leah and what she would have to give up.” He gripped the back of a chair with one hand. “She’s right. I don’t understand.” He scowled. “Was it so wrong of me to bring the question up to her?”
Sara scoffed. “Of course not. It’s what couples do, certainly what married people should do. But I don’t know that this is about religion. I think it could be about something more.”
“That’s what Jakob said.” Thomas hung his head. “He said sometimes you think a woman is upset about one thing, when really it’s about something else.”
“Sounds likes Jakob knows something about women. At least relationships.” She considered and then went on. “Go home and come back tomorrow. Leah may be willing to talk to you when she’s calmed down.”
“And if she doesn’t?” he asked.
“I can’t make her marry you, Thomas. If you love her, if you truly believe that she is the one the Lord wants for you, then you have to have patience. You know that our Leah is headstrong. She likes to do things her way.” A hint of a smile played over her lips. “Not unlike you, Thomas. But I think we can bring her around and get her past whatever made her react so badly to your attempt to talk to her about the Mennonite church.” Her smile became a full one. “It wouldn’t hurt to pray, not for what you want, but for what He thinks is best.”
Thomas nodded and turned away. “I’m not going to give up on her,” he said, feeling a little better with Sara’s encouragement. Because he really did believe God meant Leah to be his wife. “Whatever I’ve done wrong, however I’ve hurt her, I’ll make it right.”
* * *
He carried that hope home with him and all the following day until he finished his work in the garden and returned to Sara’s house. But there, standing on the front porch, once again, he was disappointed. “Leah still won’t see me?” he asked Ellie.
“She isn’t here. She went out after breakfast, and we haven’t seen her all day.”
Thomas stood there, feeling awkward, unsure what to do next. He wondered if he should try to find Leah, go from one sister’s house to another asking for her. Anything was better than doing nothing.
“Thomas. I’ve been waiting for you.” Sara came out of the house, dressed in her best church bonnet and black dress and cape. “Good, you came with your horse and buggy?”
“Ya.”
Ellie stepped into the house.
“I have an idea, but I can’t do this on my own. I want you to drive me to Bishop Atlee’s house. But first we have to stop and pick up Hannah.”
“Why are we going to see the bishop? Is Leah at Hannah’s?”
“Grace picked her up this morning on her way to the veterinarian clinic. But I doubt she took Leah to work with her. She’s probably at Anna’s or maybe Rebecca’s. But before we can approach Leah, we have to get the bishop’s approval. And her mother’s.” She took a deep breath. “Well, Thomas, what are you waiting for? Bring the horse around. We want to catch Bishop Atlee before he retires for his evening prayers.”
Thomas held the door open for her. “I’ll take you wherever you want to go, but why won’t you tell me what you’re planning to do? Surely, you aren’t going to ask Bishop Atlee to try and convince her to marry me?”
“No sense in explaining my plan over and over,” Sara said. “You’ll find out soon enough.” She folded her arms and regarded him sternly. “Now, are you in or not? Because if you’ve changed your mind about wanting to make Leah your wife, then this is a waste of time.”
“Ne,” he stammered. “Ne. You know I do.”
Ellie came out of the house wearing her own black bonnet and dress cape. “Wait for me,” she called.
“You’re coming, too?” Thomas asked.
“Wouldn’t miss it,” Ellie said as she scrambled up into Thomas’s buggy. “When Sara gets an idea, it will be too good to hear about secondhand.” She looked at the dashboard. “I just hope you don’t intend to turn on all these flashing blue lights tonight. It may not put the bishop in the best frame of mind to listen to what Sara has to say.”
* * *
“Bishop Atlee has company,” his wife said when Thomas knocked at his screen door. “But I’m sure he won’t mind if all of you come in.” She pushed open the door and welcomed them into her cheery kitchen.
Thomas waited for Sara, Hannah and Ellie to go first, then he entered, followed by gangly Irwin and his dog Jeremiah. Hannah had been just as puzzled and intrigued by Sara’s invitation as Thomas had been. He hadn’t expected Hannah’s teenage foster son Irwin to climb into the buggy, as well.
“Ne.” The bishop’s wife pointed to the dog and shook her head. “Dogs stay outside.”
Irwin, who’d been in the process of removing his straw hat, stopped short. “Jeremiah can’t come in?”
“Your dog can stay on the porch,” the woman said. “I’ll even give him a nice bone I have left from our roast. But in my house, ne. Let me see how long he’ll be.” She held up one finger and disappeared down the hall. A moment later she was back. “Go on through. You know the way. My Atlee will be pleased to see you.”
“If he has someone here, we can wait,” Hannah offered.
“Atlee says you’re to join him in the parlor,” the bishop’s wife insisted, stepping back to let them pass.
Irwin’s plain face fell. “Guess I’ll stay out here on the porch with Jeremiah,” he said.
“Maybe I can find you an apple dumpling and a glass of milk,” their hostess offered. “Growing boys are always hungry.”
“Ya.” Irwin nodded. “Goot. I like apple dumplings.”
Thomas followed the women into the front room and was surprised to see Leah there ahead of him. “Leah?”
She rose from the bench where she’d been sitting across from the bishop. “Thomas?” Her cheeks reddened and she averted her eyes. “I didn’t expect...” She glanced back at the church leader. “How did he know I was here?”
“We didn’t,” Sara said. “But it’s best that you are. This will make my task easier.” She nodded to the bishop. “Bishop Atlee.” The others exchanged greetings.
“What a nice surprise.” Atlee Borntrager chuckled and extended his arms. “Sit, sit, all of you. I’m very glad to have you in my home.” He slid his thumbs under his suspenders. “First comes our Leah and now her young man, Thomas, with mother, friend and matchmaker. Mother!” he called to his wife. “Bring something cold to drink for our guests.”
“I’ll help her with the glasses,” Ellie offered, slipping back out of the room.
Hannah and Sara settled themselves on a sofa that had seen better days. Thomas took a straight-backed wooden chair. He kept glancing at Leah, hoping she would favor him with a smile, but she didn’t. She remained cool and formal.
“I’ll get right to it, Bishop,” Sara said. “As you know, these two, Leah and Thomas, have been walking out together.”
He nodded and tugged unconsciously at his gray beard. “It’s no news to me, Sara Yoder.” He chuckled. “They’re both taking my baptismal classes. Have you come to discuss the wedding plans?” he asked Thomas.
“Ne,” Leah said. “There isn’t going to be a wedding. Not between me and Thomas.”
The older man looked at Leah thoughtfully. “Which is why you came to me, I suppose?”
She nodded.
“I think they’ve had a serious disagreement,” Hannah explained. “We’d like to take every opportunity to help them work it out.”
“Mam.” Leah’s eyes widened. “This is my affair. You shouldn’t be involved.”
“Why shouldn’t I?” Hannah asked. “Who cares for you more than I do? I want you to be happy, with or without Thomas.”
“Without,” Leah said. “Definitely without.”
“Is this a spiritual matter?” the bishop asked. “Something that I can be of help with?”
“What the two of them have is a lack of communication,” Sara said. “And ya, you can be of help. I’ve thought of a way that would improve their communication, but it will require your approval.”
“I’m all ears,” Bishop Atlee replied. He snapped one suspender against his dark blue shirt and crossed his ankles. Thomas noticed that he was in stockinged feet. One white sock had a neatly stitched patch on the heel.
The bishop’s wife returned with tall glasses of homemade root beer. Ellie came after her carrying a plate of oatmeal cookies.
“What none of you seem to understand is that I can’t marry Thomas,” Leah said. “He’s a good man. He’ll make some woman a fine husband, but it can’t be me. So there’s no need for us to have better communication. Any communication.”
“Did I tell you?” Hannah fussed. “Stubborn like her father. Always wanting to prove that she’s right and everyone else is wrong.”
Leah looked at Thomas. “I can’t believe that you’d go along with this. You should know that what’s between us is personal.”
Bishop Atlee took a deep drink of his root beer and then set the mug down on the table beside his chair. “I, for one, would like to hear what Sara has to say. She’s had a lot of experience in arranging marriages. And since we’re all already here, I think we ought to listen to her.”
“So do I,” his wife agreed. “I think young couples are wise to listen to older heads. Marriage is a serious decision, not to be taken lightly.” She squeezed in on the sofa beside Hannah. Ellie perched on a stool.
“Leah, Thomas, will you listen to my suggestion?” Sara asked.
Thomas nodded. “I brought you here, didn’t I? I’m willing to try anything that will make things the way they were between me and Leah.”
Leah twisted her hands in her lap.
She looked small and vulnerable to him. He wanted to take her in his arms and hold her against him. He wanted to smell the clean fragrance of her hair and feel her warm skin pressed to his. But she no longer wanted him, and he had to sit there, unable to comfort her.
Vaguely, he was aware of Sara saying something, but he was concentrating so hard on Leah that he didn’t pay attention until he heard the bishop’s wife give a gasp of astonishment.
“...bundling was sometimes used in my community in Wisconsin. The couple—”
“Bundling?” Leah squeaked. “You want me and Thomas to sleep in the same bed?”
That got Thomas’s attention.
Sara spread her fingers in a calming motion. “Listen to me before you make up your mind. Bundling has always been a respected tradition among our people. True, you don’t hear so much of it today, but it was done for many years in previous generations. Successfully.”
“You’re suggesting that Leah and Thomas do this?” Hannah asked.
Leah crossed her arms over her chest. “Absolutely not.”
Bishop Atlee leaned forward in his chair. “Let’s hear her out, Leah. I’ve heard that this is done in parts of Kentucky in some conservative communities. The bundling is well chaperoned, isn’t it?”
“Usually by the girl’s mother,” Sara replied. “The couple is wrapped tightly and then sewn into separate blankets with a board between them so that they may not touch. A bed is set up in a common area, usually a parlor, and the prospective bride and groom spend the night together. A single candle lights the room, but the chaperone or chaperones remain awake. They keep a constant vigil to prevent any hint of impropriety.”
“You’re suggesting that you do this bundling at your home?” the bishop asked.
Sara shook her head. “I think her mother’s home would be more appropriate. That is, if Hannah agrees.”
Thomas swallowed. Spend the night in the same bed as Leah? Lie beside her in the darkness? He would agree to anything that would bring them together again, but there was no chance that Leah would do it.
“What would be the purpose?” Bishop Atlee asked. “In this instance? Wasn’t it done with arranged marriages when couples didn’t know each other?”
Sara nodded. “Sometimes. But the purpose is to provide a way for couples to get to know each other. It gives the man and woman privacy and the opportunity to talk in an intimate situation without the loss of reputation or morals.” She looked from Thomas to Leah and back to the bishop. “I honestly believe that these two are perfect for each other. But they’ve hit an impasse. I think that confining the two of them to a bundling bed will ease the tension and let them discover how to communicate. Only by communicating can they get to the bottom of their disagreement.”
The bishop looked at Hannah. “What would your husband think of such a proposal?”
“Albert?” Hannah considered. “He’s a sensible man. Usually, he agrees with me in matters of my children. But I’d have to ask him.”
Bishop Atlee nodded. “Do you approve of this scheme?” he asked Hannah.
“It doesn’t matter whether she approves or not,” Leah protested. She got to her feet. “I’m having no part of this. I can’t believe that you’d ask me to do such a thing. And I know Thomas wouldn’t—”
“Thomas wouldn’t what?” He rose and extended a hand to her. “I would, Leah. I’d do anything to have you consent to be my wife. But...if I can’t have you...then I think I deserve to know what I did wrong.”
Leah wiped at her eyes. When she spoke, her voice was choked. “You didn’t,” she answered. “It’s me. This is all my fault.”
“You’re scared,” Ellie said.
“Scared?” Leah repeated. “That’s not it at all.”
“It is,” Ellie insisted. “And Thomas is right. He deserves to know what went wrong between you.”
“Spending the night sewn up in a blanket couldn’t possibly change anything,” Leah began.
“Maybe not,” Thomas said. “But maybe it would. I think we should do it.”
“Ne,” she protested. “It’s a waste of time. Nothing will be resolved.”
Sara set her hands on her hips and met Leah’s gaze. “Then what have you got to lose?”