Confusion
Am I the only one who’s confused?
A thigh bone the size of Cleopatra’s Needle
unearthed in Patagonia. Novichok in Salisbury.
Scones and polonium tea in Mayfair.
In Duluth, a tattooist tattoos his initials
on the whites of his girlfriend’s eyes.
Another boat filled with migrants capsizes.
Shares soar, there’s a plummeting pound
(the morning after, the other way round).
If you’re not British, best get packing.
Build more runways, let’s get fracking.
‘HUNDREDS LOST ON CRUISE SHIP IN MEDITERRANEAN’
screams newspaper headline. Turns out there was
only one winner on the SS Saga Rose that night
when Mrs Beryl Crossley from Leeds won six bingo
games in succession. ‘I were reet chuffed,’ she said.
A swan in Suffolk swallows a hot coal.
In Duluth, partially sighted girl
seeks new boyfriend with initials M.W.
Have I been transgender all these years
and nobody had the decency to tell me?
Am I the only one who’s confused?