Even while Maddie and Q killed each other playing Psycho Boxing, all Maddie could think about was Mom getting home. She felt like a kid, and then she wondered what it would feel like to not feel like a kid.
“Uncle Maddie, you’re not playing right,” Q whined after he’d killed her for the sixth time in a row.
“Sorry, Q, just got a lot on my mind.”
He walked to the window. “I’m gonna see Dad in his workshop.”
Again, that disturbing image of Bobby’s butt flashed in her mind. “Better not surprise him like that.”
“Why not?”
“If he’s sawing something, he could cut his finger off.”
“Then maybe he wouldn’t work so much.”
“Q, that’s terrible! Let me go first, and if I give you the OK sign, you can come over.”
The door was cracked open when she got there, so she figured it was all right to knock and enter.
Bobby looked up. “Hey, Baby. What’s up?”
“Your son wants to come see you.”
He looked behind Maddie. “Well, where is he?”
“I figured I’d check to make sure you weren’t otherwise occupied.”
He held out his hands. “See, I’m not.”
“Bobby, you can’t just ignore what happened last night.”
“I can if you can.”
“I can’t. We do that too much around here. Have you broken things off with Wendy yet?”
“I will.” When she narrowed her eyes at him, he said, “What’s got into you? Used to be you’d have slunk out of here and never said a thing.”
She thought of Chase admiring the way she’d handled Wendy. “I’m tough when it comes to Q. You screw up your marriage, and that boy suffers.”
“I’m just having fun. I’m not going to leave Colleen or anything.”
“Life isn’t about just having fun!”
“Whoa, this coming from the girl who did nothing but play?”
“But I played with my husband. There’s a difference.”
He ran his hand through his coppery curls. “You don’t understand. Your marriage was fun. You let Wayne do what he wanted, you didn’t worry about bills and saving money, you just lived. Colleen’s on me about every penny I spend for myself. Can’t even buy a six-pack without her muttering how that money could have gone for the pool.”
They’d had a good life, she and Wayne. They hadn’t worried about money. Sometimes she’d put some aside to deposit into their savings account, but Wayne would suggest going away for the weekend, and there it went.
“I should’a married you,” Bobby said, startling her back to the present. “You probably even like sex.”
She put her hands over her ears. “I don’t want to hear this.”
“Can’t you talk to her about giving me some slack?”
She remembered that sad look on Colleen’s face the other night and how she’d wanted to say something. “I don’t know how to talk to her.”
He sighed. “Send my son over. I ain’t meeting Wendy tonight.”
“Or ever. And you’re having dinner with us tonight, you hear?”
He started to protest but said, “I’ll be there.”
Victory was bittersweet. She still had to deal with Mom.
Maddie had put her nervous energy to good use. She’d dusted all the teapots, flowered plates, and dishes that lined the shelves of the cupboard. She’d even climbed up on a chair and shaken the dust out of the dried flowers twined around the drying rack. Now she leaned against the counter stirring chili in the crock-pot. When Mom pulled into the driveway, dread knotted her stomach.
Mom had her betrayed after all I’ve done for you look in place before she even walked into the kitchen. She shoved a bag at Maddie and walked to the counter. “I am so mad at you, I can’t even see straight.”
“I’m sorry, Mom.”
“Sorry? Sorry? Everyone in town knows my daughter lied to me. The daughter I devoted my whole life to. Look at my face and remember what you’ve done to me.” She removed her glasses and posed.
“Mom, I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. But I don’t want to stop seeing Chase. I feel good when I’m around him.”
“So, you don’t feel good when you’re around me, is that what you’re saying?”
“Of course, I do, but it’s a different kind of feeling good.”
Mom sucked in her breath with a whining sound. “You are in love with that man!”
“I am not.” She rubbed her nose, then thought it couldn’t mean the same thing as when Chase rubbed his. “I will never love another man besides Wayne. But I like Chase. He listens to me.”
“Oh, and I don’t?”
“Not really.” At her shocked look, Maddie added, “No one listens to anyone around here. We only hear what we want to hear. Chase listens, and he tells me things I don’t want to hear, but he’s right. He challenges me. When I’m with him, I feel alive. And yes, I feel alive here, but…not as alive.”
“I see. We give you everything you want, never challenge you or say things you don’t want to hear, and we’re wrong.”
Maddie touched Mom’s arm. “You’re not wrong. Maybe I need to be challenged, though. Maybe I’m ready to live again.”
Mom took her hand, and Maddie noticed her nails were stained with blueberries. “There’s nothing wrong with living. I want you to live. But you’re in a fragile emotional state, and I don’t want you hurt.” She smoothed Maddie’s hair back from her face, just like she’d always done. “Take things slow. Mom knows best, remember? If you push yourself too fast, you might slip and fall. Go visit the dogs. Take baby steps.”
Maddie nodded because that’s what she was expected to do.
“Good girl,” Mom said, kissing her on the forehead. “Let’s get dinner ready.”
Peace reigned in the kitchen again while they warmed up cornbread muffins and made lemonade. But Maddie didn’t feel peaceful. She’d survived her first big lie to her mother, yet she didn’t feel victorious. And not once had Mom mentioned her not seeing Chase again. She found out why when she and Colleen were washing the dishes.
“Did Mom give it to you when you got home?” Colleen asked without the least bit of sympathy.
“A little. And neither of you have the right to check up on me. I’m an adult.”
“Yeah, right,” Colleen said with a snort. “How can you be considered an adult when everyone calls you Baby?”
Chase didn’t call her Baby. She liked the way her name sounded when he said it. And she’d certainly felt like an adult when she’d been fantasizing about him. “Maybe I’ll tell everyone to stop calling me Baby.”
“Yeah, right. You’ll always be Baby.”
It was a grim thought. Yet, until she’d met Chase, she’d never thought about asking people to call her Maddie. “And thanks for telling everyone about Chase not knowing who he is. And that he kissed me.”
Colleen shrugged. “We’re just worried about you. You’re falling for this guy, and even if he isn’t a serial killer, he’s going to leave town and you’ll be crushed.”
“I am not in love with him,” she said, accentuating each word.
“Well, it won’t be a problem anymore.” Colleen hung up the towel covered in ducks.
Maddie grabbed her arm. “Why not?”
“Barnie’s going to fire him.”
Maddie nearly knocked Colleen over as she dashed out of the kitchen. She didn’t even feel the pain when she stubbed her toe on the cast iron duck in the living room. Mom was working on her clown puzzle.
“You told Barnie to fire Chase?”
“Yes. So did Carol. We don’t like the influence he has on you. He’s going to be leaving soon anyway, so what does it matter? Maddie, where are you going?”
She was already on the way out to her car.
It was dark, though two lights lit some of the dock. Just beyond the dock, the warehouse was closed for the night. Sugar’s Eats already had their deck furniture stacked up, and Maddie could only see a few tables with people inside. Creatures scurried out of the way as she walked down the dock, and she didn’t even want to know what they were. Her heart felt squeezed in her chest. She imagined the boat dark and silent, Chase gone. The breeze washed her hair in her face and made the waves slap against the dock pilings.
She couldn’t believe her relief when she saw the dim light inside the boat. Now she could admit how that thought hurt, that Chase would leave, and she’d never see him again. He couldn’t leave. He hadn’t done whatever it was he was supposed to do.
“Chase?” she said after searching the deck of the boat.
She heard splashing in the distance. Her gaze slid past the dock to where the shoreline curved back toward the open water. Between the warehouse and the Gulf was the picnic table she and Chase had lunch at. When the moon peeked out from beneath the clouds, she saw something moving in the water straight out from the table. Dolphins often played near the bay, and sometimes a manatee would swim in and everyone had to be careful not to hit him.
“Chase?”
“Maddie?” a distant voice answered.
She looked toward the dolphin. “Is that you?”
“Yep.”
She walked over to the side of the bay where Chase was swimming. Light played off the ripples in the water, highlighting his silhouette. She could barely see his features.
“Aren’t you afraid of what’s down there at night?”
“Same as what’s down there during the day, I’d guess.”
Maybe she shouldn’t mention the jellyfish that you could see during the day but not at night. She sat down on the bank and hugged her knees. “Is the water cool?”
“It’s about body temperature. Come in.”
Those two words teased her sensibilities, which told her that she should definitely not get in the water with him. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. For one thing, I don’t have a bathing suit on.”
“Neither do I.”
Her throat went dry. “You’re…naked?”
“I’m wearing briefs.” He swam sideways, and the splashing noises tickled down her spine. “Come in in your bra and underwear. Or leave your clothes on. I’m not going to try anything.”
“You’re not?” Was she relieved? Of course, she was.
“You’re like a sister to me.”
She shot to her feet. “A sister?”
“Yeah, just like a sister. I don’t know if I have one, but if I do, I’d feel about her the same as I do about you.”
She didn’t want Chase to, well, have those kinds of feelings for her. Despite her little spike on the sex meter that day, she wasn’t in the least bit interested in making love with anyone. This wasn’t about his being a man, and her being a woman who’d been fantasizing about this man.
“Like a sister, huh?” she said, kicking off her shoes.
“Yep. You’re perfectly safe with me.”
He didn’t get it. She flung off her shirt and tossed it aside. She didn’t want to be anybody’s sister. Then she shimmied out of her shorts. Before she could give it a second thought, which she knew she should, she jumped into the water.
After coming to the surface, she heard him say, “Geez, Maddie, you just about drowned me.”
She could see him better now, though his features were shadows and curves, his eyes dark. He was wiping water off his face.
“Sorry,” she said, not sounding sorry in the least. And in fact, she splashed him again.
He splashed her back, but she was the champion of splash fights, or at least she had been when she and Wayne had fought in the pool.
“I give!” he sputtered a minute later, but she couldn’t get that sister comment out of her head, so she kept splashing until he grabbed her wrists and held them up. And that action pulled her right up against him.
He hovered over her, dripping on her face. “Stop it. Now I’m sorry I invited you in.”
She was breathing heavily, but she wasn’t sure if it was because of her efforts in splashing or how close he was and the way his fingers felt closed around her wrists.
“You are?” she asked.
“No, I’m not. But I didn’t really think you’d come in.”
“You thought I was too chicken.”
“Yep.”
“You’re too honest, you know that?”
“Yep.”
Then he was probably being honest about the sister comment. She told herself to be relieved and ignored the disappointment.
But he hadn’t let her go.
She could see his mouth glistening in the dim moonlight and, as though he sensed her attention on him, he ran his tongue over his lips. She did the same. He was looking at her, that much she could tell. She wondered if it was in a brotherly way.
“Can you stand up here?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“Good.”
And then he fell backward, pulling her with him and dunking both of them under the water. He held her in place with his arms around her waist. As startled as she was that he’d dunked her, she was more startled at the feel of his arms around her bare skin. They were only underwater for a moment, and then he pushed them to the surface.
“What’d you do that for?” she sputtered through waterlogged lips.
“Same reason you splashed me.”
So, she splashed him again. They tangled in the inky black water until he subdued her by wrapping himself around her.
“Are you going to stop?” he asked.
Pressed up along the length of him, she could feel every inch of him. And that included every inch of…him. Forget her face; her whole body flushed. She nodded quickly, and he set her on her feet. She had to cover her mouth to contain the squeal of surprise that she’d made him come to attention. Sister, her foot.
She wasn’t sure if he knew that she knew, which made her feel awkward on top of everything else. Just that brief feel of him, not just that part but all of him, swiftly brought back her earlier hunger. She shivered from the assault of desire that felt foreign and right at the same time.
“You all right?” he asked. “Cold?”
“Fine,” she answered too quickly and in too high pitch of voice.
“Maddie…”
She didn’t know if he was going to address the, ahem, issue, but she didn’t want to talk about it. What could he have said, really? Maddie, sorry about the hard-on. Oh, no problem, it just reminded me how long it’s been since I’ve touched a man and how much I want to touch a man, and not just any man, but you.
“Did Barnie fire you?” she asked.
He ran his fingers back through his dark hair. “Not really.”
“How can you not really be fired?”
He chuckled, and the sound tickled through her. “He said your mother and the woman who runs the marina wanted me fired, but he wasn’t going to do it.”
She couldn’t help the grin that erupted over her face. “Kewl.”
“Is that why you came out here?”
“Yes. I didn’t want you to leave…without saying goodbye. You won’t do that, will you? Just disappear one day?”
“I won’t leave without saying goodbye,” he said in a soft voice that sounded delicious in the dark.
She took a ragged breath. “And how am I going to explain to my family that I came out here to talk to you and got wet?”
“You could say I threw you in.”
“They already don’t want me hanging around you.”
His hand brushed hers as he moved it around in the water. “But here you are.”
“See, you are a bad influence on me.”
This time his hands slid down hers, fingers tickling her skin. “And you’re a bad influence on me.”
“Me, a bad influence?” She would have laughed, but his hands settled on her waist and took her breath away.
He spread his fingers, and his thumbs grazed her stomach. In the distance she could hear the soft clang of a buoy’s bell.
“Yep, ‘cause I want to kiss you, and kissing you is a bad idea.”
“K-kissing…why?”
“Because I don’t know who I am, and you’re still in love with your husband.”
Her heart was pounding so loud, she was sure he could hear it. “And you’re going to be leaving soon.”
“That, too.”
“Wait a minute. I thought you only considered me like a sister.”
He pulled her closer. “I lied.”
“Did you rub your nose when you were saying it?”
“Maybe.”
As bad an idea as it was, she wanted him to kiss her. The wanting filled her body with heat and made her light-headed, and that’s why she leaned forward.
They moved together instinctively, her legs gliding around his waist, his arms going around her and pulling her close. She ran her fingers up into his wet hair, and he tilted her head and deepened the kiss.
When his tongue slid into her mouth, her eyes rolled shut, and she gave into it. She’d forgotten how wonderful French kissing was and yet, this seemed different, slower, more sensual. Their tongues brushed together as he languidly explored her mouth. He ran his tongue along the edge of her teeth, then tickled the roof of her mouth.
She felt as liquid as the water around her. He tasted like the Dr. Pepper he liked to drink, sweet and intoxicating. She loved the way he felt, all of him, surrounding her. The water was ninety degrees, at least, and if they stayed there much longer, she could easily imagine it boiling.
“Maddie,” he whispered, pulling down on the strands of her hair. She thought his eyes were closed, and just the sound of her name on his lips, sounding breathy and dreamy, she thought she was in heaven.
She whispered his name, because she wanted him to know how wonderful it felt to hear it. His hands moved higher on her waist, and then his thumbs were brushing her nipples outside her bra, just barely, whisper-light touches that sent a jolt of fire through her. She kissed him again, feeling the evidence of desire and relishing that she was the cause of it. A growling sound came from his throat, and his kiss became more ardent.
There were only two thin pieces of fabric separating them. One of his hands slid down her back beneath the waistband of her panties, and then the other, and he cupped her behind and pulled her flush against his body. She wanted to grind against him and soothe this burning ache she’d never felt before.
Her heart jumped into her throat when his thumbs traced around her sides and tickled at the edge of her pubic area. How far would this go, and did she want to stop it even though it was wrong, it had to be wrong, didn’t it?
Yes, it was wrong, because she loved Wayne. Because this scared her, she’d never felt quite like this before, never wanted anyone’s hands on her the way she wanted Chase’s hands on her, and anyone meant Wayne, the love of her life, the only man she would ever want…
When she opened her eyes, she saw that the warehouse lights were on. Then a familiar voice that reminded her of being a teenager again, of sneaking kisses and more on the back porch and being alert of her parents coming out at any time.
Mom!
She wriggled out of Chase’s hold, feeling disappointed and embarrassed and ashamed all at once. “My mom’s here!”
Chase groaned, but was already helping her toward the shore. “Get your clothes on and tell them you fell in.”
Definite flashbacks of doing what she shouldn’t be with Wayne and nearly getting caught. Her heart was pounding for a different reason as she scrambled toward shore and fumbled with her clothes.
“She shot out of the house like a pistol when she found out I asked you to fire Chase. I thought she was coming to see you,” Mom said, “She must be talking to him.”
Maddie jerked up her pants and called out, “Mom?” as she headed toward the dock. She knew her smile was as phony as fat-free cream cheese, and her laugh that sheep-bleating kind. “I fell in the water.”
Her mom, still wearing her pink housecoat, squinted at Maddie. “What?”
“When I got here, I saw dolphins swimming over there.” Well, sort of the truth. “I lost my footing and fell in.”
She expected fear and concern over her well-being, but all she got was Mom’s narrowed-eyed look. “You’ve got that same guilty look on your face as you had when you were doing something you shouldn’t have been with Wayne.” She looked toward The Barnacle. “I’m going to talk to that man.” She pulled Maddie along as though she were a child.
Just minutes ago, she definitely had not felt like a child. For the first time she’d felt like a woman.
Colleen’s words came back to her. You’ll always be Baby.
How could she explain that she’d been in the water in the dark with Chase? Betraying her husband’s memory with the man he’d sent to help her?
“Excuse me! Hello!” Mom called out in a much-too-loud voice.
Several long minutes dragged by. It was going to look suspicious when he didn’t make an appearance. Just when Mom turned to Maddie with an accusatory expression, Chase climbed out the companionway looking puzzled and delicious—that word again—wearing only a towel. He was drying his hair.
“Sorry, I didn’t hear you. I was in the shower.” He took in her mother, then glanced at Maddie, keeping his expression perfectly bland. “Hey, Maddie. What’s wrong?”
Mom clearly didn’t know what to make of it. She drew a breath and puffed up her shoulders. “Didn’t you hear Maddie fall into the bay a few minutes earlier?”
“Sorry, I didn’t.” He looked at her again and rubbed his nose. “You all right?”
She tried not to smile at the giveaway that he was lying. “Fine. Loose rocks down there.”
He glanced over the dark water. “Aren’t you afraid of what’s down there at night?”
She really had to squelch her smile. “Same as what’s down there during the day, I’d guess.”
“Chase, she’s gone through hard times this past year, and she doesn’t need anything to send her off-balance. She’s got her family, and that’s all she needs. Thank you.”
With Maddie in tow, she headed back down the dock. Maddie tried hard not to look back at Chase.
“Mom, I hate when you do that.”
“What? Straighten out your messes?”
“No, talk about me as though I wasn’t there.” Once she’d said the words, she realized how true it was. Her long-suppressed irritation bombarded her.
“Look at you, you’re soaking wet. Let’s see if Barnie has a towel you can borrow so you don’t get your upholstery wet.”
“Mom, please listen to me.”
They had approached the warehouse where Barnie, wearing striped pajamas and a robe, was sitting in his wheelchair. Maddie started to put her thoughts together, but Mom cut her off.
“Baby, I love you, you know that?” Maddie nodded, and Mom tightened her hold. “And your mother knows best. That man is nothing but trouble. I never objected to you being with Wayne, because we knew his family. He was a good man who took care of you.”
Chase’s words about his recklessness filtered through her mind. She pushed them away. “I’m not in love with Chase.” She hoped the words didn’t sound as empty as she thought they did.
“Maybe not, but you’re infatuated with him, or with this idea that Wayne sent him. Don’t turn to a stranger to heal your broken heart, Baby. That’s what your family is for.”
When Mom went into the warehouse to get a towel, Maddie looked toward the sailboat. She couldn’t see Chase, which was probably a good thing. She wrapped her arms around herself, feeling chilled for the first time since getting into the water.
Maybe Colleen was right. Maybe she couldn’t change the way things were.