A confession: When I started writing the summaries at the end of each chapter, I struggled with the heading to give them. Was “What Have We Learned” too earnest? Too didactic? But then I realized how much I had learned—from the women at my happy hours, the podcast listeners who wrote in, and the experts interviewed for this project. And, I decided, it was just right. As women, our financial power—and our power in the world—is growing at such a fast clip, we have to keep learning to simply keep up with it. And so here’s what I hope you take away as you come to the end of these pages.
Your relationship with money—why you use it, react to it, think about it in the way you as an individual do—depends on the things in life that propel you to reach for them. Whether you’re driven by security, power, independence, the urge to do good in the world, or something else entirely has a lot to do with both the way you were raised (you may be in a totally different sphere now, but it’s tough to escape) and how all of us, as humans, are wired. But understanding these things, and the way they impact not just us but also how we function with our partners, families, and friends, is a key building block toward getting a financial grip.
Once we’ve got our money selves tamed (or at least understood), we can begin to maximize the financial power we already have—and make moves to gain even more. Yes, Time’s Up when it comes to closing the gender wage gap in this country, but that’s a tall order. So, let’s focus on closing it one woman at a time by advocating for our own pay and making sure the women we employ are paid fairly. And earning money by working is just step one. It’s time to take our seats at the investment table. This doesn’t mean we’re trading individual stocks every day, but rather that we’re paying attention to the money we have working for us in our retirement (and other) accounts and making sure it’s on track to accomplish our goals. Investing in our own businesses and in homes we live in (or rent out for income) are other important ways to bring in more money. And then, yes, we need to give ourselves permission to enjoy the benefits all this hard work brings. Spending is not a dirty word. We should do it in ways that make us feel good.
Once we’ve got ourselves conquered we can move on to the other important people in our lives—and in the world. As women, we spend a great deal of time and energy focused on our kids, our parents, our communities, our causes. Let’s start doing it with more intention and by using the financial resources at our disposal in ways that are specific, smart, and forward thinking. Where our kids are concerned, this starts when they’re young as we educate them on how to make the most of the financial resources they have, put more money in their hands as they age to train them to handle it, and—hopefully—set them on a course toward independence. With our parents, the challenge is helping in ways that make the most of their resources and, when contributing our own, doing it in a way that doesn’t sabotage our own financial fortitude in later life. Finally, we can and should take all this financial power and use it to do good—good for our families, the causes we care about, and in a bigger way (by investing, giving, and spending thoughtfully) for the world.
I hope that you’ve enjoyed going on this journey with me. It’s one I continue every week on the HerMoney podcast, in the private HerMoney Facebook group, and at HerMoney.com. Please join me there—and if you’re so inclined, take a moment and drop me a note about your experience as a woman with money. I promise, I’ll read them all.
Jean Chatzky
August 28, 2018