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Under Pressure
‘If only man could cry...’
So thought Australian coach John Buchanan as he watched Glenn McGrath’s battle to hold everything together in spite of the pressures he and Jane had lived with for over a decade. Buchanan’s sensitive nature made him different from most coaches. He encouraged his players to do things like write and recite poetry at team meetings as part of his holistic approach to mentoring elite athletes. To help them develop, he needed first to understand them as humans, not just sportsmen. And while he worked hard to fulfil his aim, following his retirement the thought played on his mind that he may sometimes have failed to pick up on signals from players who’d screamed for help despite not making a sound. McGrath was one who suffered in silence.
‘I believe the role of a coach is to help players and I probably – in my own mind, at least – wasn’t there to help some players because I was busy doing other things; or because I hadn’t really got in tune with that person, I wasn’t able to help them even if they were crying out for help,’ says Buchanan. ‘The reason I asked players for poetry was to allow me to understand the whole person. It just wasn’t about Stuart Law or Ricky Ponting the cricketer. And while the cricket was the most important part of their life at the time, it struck me that if all I wanted to know about them was their cricket, then I really couldn’t help them. To help them I had to know their game inside out.
‘As for Glenn, the biggest thing he needed to know was I was there if he needed me at any time. He needed to know there was compassion, understanding and every leniency possible. However, because Pidge is Pidge, he kept so much inside and I found that amazing. I wondered what he’d have go through his mind every night he went back to his hotel room alone. How was Jane? The kids? The future? Yet when you’d see him the next day, he’d answer your enquiry about how he was doing with, “Never better, mate.”
‘If only man could cry. You can’t show weakness when you’re Glenn McGrath, the country boy, the role model, the bowling template, because everyone looked up to you. Thinking about it, it must have been so hard for him.’
Buchanan wonders sometimes if McGrath’s stoicism was a case of an athlete living up to what the public expects a hero to be – the strong, silent type who can perform no matter how badly his body or spirit was injured. Steve Waugh, one of McGrath’s closest friends, admits cricketers do tend to build a facade as a survival mode.
‘Glenn was a master of churning out the clichés, but I think most cricketers are like that,’ says Waugh. ‘We played a game where you learn to put up a defence; brick walls all around them. It is a game where you need to spend a lot of time away from loved ones and on your own; you don’t give too much away, because you figure it might be taken the wrong way or seen as a weakness. You keep things to yourself.’
Waugh gained a raw insight into the pressure his mate lived with when he was called to McGrath’s room at 5 am during the team’s stopover in London on their way to the West Indies in 2003. Jane had a secondary cancer.
‘We were at the Gatwick Airport Hotel, not a flash place at the best of times,’ says McGrath. ‘Jane didn’t know where we were staying and she contacted the Cricket Board. I received a phone call from one of the employees just before 5 am and was told to ring my wife. My first thought was to think of the kids ... I had a million fears as I dialled home. Jane told me that after six years of everything being clear, the cancer was back. It knocked me around. I think there was bliss in being naive when it first happened because it was a case of, “Yeah, we’ll beat it.” But I knew too much.’
Waugh, Errol Alcott and McGrath decided he should not worry about his luggage – he should head straight to where he was needed most: home.
‘He had to return and sort his private life out,’ says Waugh. ‘He was always positive about his and Jane’s situation, though he never said a lot. He never went into detail as to how bad things may have been, but I’m sure behind the scenes it was different. Unfortunately, I experienced a similar thing with Lynette [she needed emergency brain surgery to remove a blood clot in 2006] and you don’t let people know 90 per cent of what is happening behind the scenes. It gave me a much better insight into what Glenn’s life was about. Jane and Glenn wanted to keep their lives as normal as possible, they didn’t want the cancer to rule their lives or overtake it, and that’s why he played cricket. I think playing good cricket was important to Glenn because that meant a sense of normality had returned. I think cricket was his break from reality – he could go out and do his thing and forget about everything for a while. I believe that is why he played so well – his time on the field gave him a clear focus.’
Playing cricket was an outlet for both McGrath and Jane. Apart from allowing him to gain satisfaction from taking on the world’s best, it also allowed Jane a focus other than her illness. McGrath realised the cricket field was not the place to take out any emotion or aggression for the hand fate had dealt him and his wife – although there was no doubt that the pressures at home contributed to his brain explosion when he rejoined the team during the 2003 tour of the West Indies. His sledging of batsman Ramnaresh Sarwan ended up in a wildeyed, expletive-ridden stand-off.
‘A few people asked if I ever took my frustration out on the batsman, but I didn’t,’ McGrath says. ‘Cricket was an escape for Jane and it was for me. It wasn’t a place to go out and bowl bouncers at batsmen to feel better about myself. Bouncers and aggression weren’t going to help Jane. Bowling bouncers wasn’t going to help my team. The truth about cricket is you need to stay in control to do well.’
Ricky Ponting prides himself on being able to recognise when a player is in need of some respite from the physical and mental grind of their sport. According to Ponting, however, McGrath was unreadable.
‘He made it clear to us when he needed to be rested,’ says Ponting. ‘I can spot things clearly and early and I know when things aren’t right with most guys in the team, but Glenn never gave that impression at all. It was only when things got to their very worst that we realised something was up with Glenn. I remember when we played a series against the South Africans at the Telstra Dome in 2006, and he just packed his bags and went home when Jane got sick.
‘I always found it remarkable how he could separate his cricket life from his personal life. We all talk about how hard cricket is when we’re away from home and travelling around the world, but when you get something else on your plate as well it makes life a hundred times harder. To Glenn’s credit, he’d always answer that Jane was going great when we’d ask. I think deep down Glenn knew we realised that wasn’t right, but we respected his approach because that is how they wanted to deal with it. Jane and Glenn were ultra-positive all the way. I think it is a credit to them both – Jane especially – how they have handled it. She is obviously an incredibly tough person who has been through some incredible stages and phases in her life.’
Jason Gillespie is one of McGrath’s most trusted friends, yet he realised early on that McGrath wanted his – and Jane’s – privacy to be respected.
‘He didn’t have to say anything,’ says Gillespie. ‘When guys had personal problems they handled it differently. Some guys will sit down in the bar and chat to a mate, others shut their door to be alone. All of us appreciated what was going on in his life and we’d say that if he ever needed a chat, we were there to listen. There was the occasional chat over a beer, but we knew when she was hurting and when he was hurting. He remained upbeat and I think a reason for that was because Jane is such a positive influence on Glenn.’
Warren Craig recalls McGrath’s first reaction to helping Jane fight the good fight as being quite simple and innocent.
‘Obviously it was very traumatic,’ he says. ‘From Glenn’s perspective, his view was that if you have a situation in front of you, you assess it and do whatever must be done to fix it up. That was probably a bit naive in the early days. In Jane’s later bouts he knew a lot more about what they were dealing with, but that idea to “fix it” remained his philosophy.’
In Craig’s view, McGrath and Jane have a very similar approach: ‘Once they’ve recovered from the initial shock, they sit down, close ranks and seek out the people they need to talk to and work out a strategy. Once they have their plan, they get on with life; that has largely been how they have coped with it. They have never allowed the cancer to be something that would beat them.
‘From a cricket perspective, Glenn has taken time out when it was needed. When Jane was first diagnosed he took time off so they could work out a strategy. When Glenn felt everything was under control and the plans were all in place, he returned to cricket. Jane has always been of the view that when Glenn is playing cricket, things are normal. He’s just taken it head-on. Ever since I’ve known him his attitude has been, “There is a solution.” ’
While Shane Warne is adamant his friend displayed a rare strength and character not to allow life’s battle to overwhelm him, he is certain it took plenty out of McGrath.
‘What he had to go through with his private life – Jane and being on the road away from home – took its toll, I have no doubt about that,’ he says. ‘Every time we saw him in the dressing-room or at the hotel or on a bus, he was always upbeat and positive about everything. I like to think that I was there for him when he needed support, because I appreciated all the support he offered me at various times. Jane, Glenn – how strong are they as a couple to have gone through all they have? My hope for them is they grow old together because they deserve it.’
Trainer Jock Campbell says he knew Jane was not doing so well when he didn’t see McGrath at training. However, he admired the fact McGrath never lost his sense of humour, when it would have been easy to snap.
‘When Glenn came off the field after a bad day or a decision went against him, he’d yell, “There’s no justice in this game! No justice!” We’d laugh. No justice? Five hundred Test wickets, house on the water, a beautiful wife – and believe me, he’s punching above his weight with Jane, because he was hopeless with girls as a young bloke – beautiful kids, great car. Yeah, he’s right, there is no justice,’ Campbell laughs.
‘His family obviously means the world to him. He’s a very loyal bloke and I think that showed in the West Indies when he had the blow-up with Sarwan. That was more through frustration at what had happened to Jane than anything else. It affected him, even though he wouldn’t allow himself to say anything because he is such a positive bloke. There were times during the West Indies tour in 2003 when we could tell he would definitely have preferred to have been home with Jane.’
While McGrath is viewed by thousands of cricket fans as the epitome of determination no matter how great a challenge may be, he and Jane created a foundation that would eventually provide thousands of women afflicted by breast cancer with hope. With Jane as its driving force, the work by the foundation would surpass anything McGrath achieved on the cricket field.
13 November 1993: Glenn McGrath takes the wicket of New Zealand’s Mark Greatbatch, his first in Test cricket. Photo by News Limited/Newspix
McGrath appeals for a wicket during the Fourth Test of Australia’s tour of the West Indies, 3 May 1995, at Kingston, Jamaica. Photo by Shaun Botterill/Getty Images
David Boon leads the celebrations after another Test victory to Australia.
McGrath runs in to bowl against England at Lord’s, June 1997. Photo by Adrian Murrell/Allsport/Getty Imag
McGrath celebrates his eighth wicket in the England innings. He finished with 8 for 38, at the time the third-best figures ever by an Australian bowler. Photo by Laurence Griffiths/Allsport/Getty Images
The last wicket of Australia’s World Cup semi-final against South Africa in 1999. Allan Donald walks off dejectedly after being run out, as the Australians celebrate a tie that puts them through to the final. Photo by Ross Kinnaird/Getty Images
Three days later, after defeating Pakistan in the final, Australia is again crowned the World Champion of cricket.
A selection of McGrath’s most prized cricket souvenirs. Photos by Alan Richardson
McGrath meets a six-month-old rhino at Chipangali Wildlife Sanctuary, just outside Bulawayo, Zimbabwe. Photo by Hamish Blair/Allsport/Getty Images
Sachin Tendulkar of India ducks into a McGrath bouncer and is given out LBW at the Adelaide Oval, December 1999. Photo by Hamish Blair/Allsport/Getty Images
McGrath is awarded the Allan Border Medal for the Australian Cricketer of the Year, 31 January 2000. Photo by Alan Richardson
Allan Border Medal
Michael Slater and Justin Langer celebrate McGrath’s hat-trick against the West Indies at the WACA, 1 December 2000. Photo by Hamish Blair/Allsport/Getty Images
England captain Mike Atherton, the player McGrath dismissed most in Test cricket, leaves the ground after again losing his wicket to the Australian. Edgbaston, July 2001. Photo by William West/AFP/Getty Images
November 2002: McGrath takes one of the most spectacular outfield catches of all time to dismiss England’s Michael Vaughan off Shane Warne’s bowling. Photo by Nick Wilson/Getty Images
McGrath angrily confronts Ramnaresh Sarwan during Australia’s 2003 tour of the West Indies – an incident the paceman still regrets. Photo by Hamish Blair/Getty Images
Success at the 2003 World Cup: Michael Bevan, Brett Lee, Glenn McGrath and Nathan Bracken.
McGrath hits out against New Zealand at the Gabba in 2004...
... and celebrates his first Test half-century. Photos by Hamish Blair/Getty Images
McGrath’s best Test figures of 8 for 24 – the second-best bowling ever by an Australian – came against Pakistan at the WACA on 19 December 2004
Photo by Hamish Blair/Getty Images
Test wicket number 500, taken at Lord’s in 2005: Marcus Trescothick, caught Langer, bowled McGrath. Photo by Mike Hewitt/Getty Images
Errol Alcott comes to McGrath’s aid after the paceman rolled his ankle before the crucial Second Test against England in 2005. Photo by Tom Shaw/Getty Images
Above: Four of McGrath’s prized trophies and awards. Below: The most treasured possession of all, his baggy green cap. Photos by Alan Richardson
Three champions retire: Shane Warne, Glenn McGrath and Justin Langer, after their last Test match, a victory over England at the SCG, January 2007. Photo by David Hancock/AFP/Getty Images
A third straight World Cup victory – the perfect end to McGrath’s international career. Photo by Hamish Blair/Getty Images