Epilogue
Sadly, Glenn and Jane were denied their wish to grow old together. On 22 June 2008, and with her family gathered by her bedside, Jane passed away after complications that followed surgery. Her death was the cause of widespread mourning, with the prime minister, cricketing greats, media identities, surgeons and everyday people who’d all been touched by Jane’s courage commenting on the impact she’d had on their lives. The Australian cricket team, on tour in the West Indies, sent their heartfelt condolences and wore pink ribbons in the Test match as their tribute to a special member of the cricket family.
The leader of the opposition, Brendan Nelson, told parliament that ‘Jane McGrath reminds us, in her life and in her death, that the value of one’s life is not determined by the adversities that come to you, but how you choose to deal with them’.
Steve Waugh spoke to The Sydney Morning Herald. ‘The thing that stands out to me about her was her attitude and will to try and get better all the time and see the positive side of life,’ he said. ‘It was a great inspiration for Glenn. Her positive attitude and trying to make the most of every day helped Glenn throughout his career.’
As he always had during their happy life together, Glenn continued to draw upon Jane’s strength in the hours that followed her passing. He released a statement in which he urged women who were battling breast cancer to not view his wife’s death as a defeat.
‘I am devastated by the loss of my beautiful wife, Jane,’ he wrote. ‘She was my best friend.
‘This is also a very tough time for our children, James and Holly. I am grateful they were able to spend the time they had with their mother. Both are only young, but as the years pass and they grow older I will ensure that they never forget how much she loved them. They were her world.
‘I would like to think Jane will be remembered as an extraordinary person whose courage and determination humbled me and inspired so many people. Jane would want those women who are battling breast cancer to stay strong. She would want them to draw strength from the fact she didn’t only “survive” breast cancer for 11 years, but during that time she lived life to the fullest and found pleasure in the simple things so many people take for granted. I never took for granted the time I had with Jane, and if there is one thing that can be drawn from her life, it is that every day is a blessing.’
McGrath’s immediate priority was his children, as he knew that was what Jane would have expected. The morning after she died he was on the lawn of their house bowling a ball to James while Holly watched on quietly. Very little was said but, despite their young ages, the children accepted their misfortune with their dad by their side. Warren Craig, who for years had been as much a friend as McGrath’s manager, worked tirelessly handling media enquiries, planning the funeral arrangements and being on hand to help McGrath. Rove McManus’s management, who’d worked their way through the same numerous challenges when Belinda Emmett passed away, offered their assistance. They did all they could to help make Jane’s funeral as easy as possible for Glenn and her family – if that was at all humanly possible.
Nine years after he and Jane said their vows to be loyal and faithful as husband and wife at the Garrison Church in the Rocks, Glenn sat in the front row of the church, hugging his children, with Jane’s white casket in front of them. The joy and happiness of that special day nine years earlier – a day of endless promise and the genuine hope that love really could conquer all – now seemed distant.
Alan Jones, a dear friend of the McGrath family, said in his moving eulogy: ‘My sense is that Jane would be bewildered by the attention she’s receiving today and in these last days. But it’s a measure of the impact that she unknowingly had.’ During the course of the eulogy Jones relayed a message from Matthew Hayden, who was in the Caribbean, which read: ‘The heart and soul of Jane was ... her heart and soul.’
The sister Jane never had, Tracy Bevan, told the 400-strong congregation of the privilege in being able to call Jane her friend. ‘The Jane McGrath I know is loving, kind, generous, extremely funny, creative, sensitive, a loyal wife, a loving mother and the very best friend anyone could ever have. She’s the one I’ve shared many of my fondest memories with through our cricket years, our weddings, the birth of our beautiful children, James, Holly, Olivia and Amelia. We’ve cried together but mostly we’ve laughed together. I’ll miss her every day until I see her again.’
And yet nothing said in that historic church was as moving as the reading from 2 Timothy 4: 6–8. Kellie Hayden, wife of Matt and whose daughter was Jane’s god-daughter, honoured her friend by reading the words in the way they were written – strongly and with great purpose – when it would probably have been so much easier for her to break down and cry:
‘The time is here for me to leave this life. I have fought the good fight to the end, and I have done my best in this race. I have run the full distance and I have kept the faith. And now there is waiting for me a prize of victory awarded for the righteous life, the prize which the Lord, the righteous judge, will give to me on that day, not only to me, but to all those who wait with love.’
McGrath did not speak during the service. Afterwards, a slight smile appeared on his face outside the church as he released three white doves from a cage in a symbolic gesture that was seen by observers as Jane’s soul being set free. Later, McGrath stood beside the church’s iron gate alone and stoic as he hugged and thanked those who’d come to honour his wife and best friend. As he offered the congregation his thanks, Holly and James danced and played innocently next to the hearse that carried their mother. McGrath saw what they were doing but didn’t stop them.
McGrath honoured his commitment to ensure that his children would never forget how much their mother loved them. They went bush for three weeks after the funeral to his outback property, the same place he and Jane had sought refuge when she was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1997. ‘Jane wouldn’t have been happy with that,’ says McGrath of the excursion with a smile. ‘She was a great mother and very protective of the kids. She thought the bush was too dangerous a place for them, but I took them there and they were happy. They had wonderful adventures.’
The children’s reaction in the weeks that followed Jane’s death had been ‘good’ but McGrath found that when James and Holly were tired and cranky they’d get very upset about their mother not being there. However, at nightfall the three cherished loves of Jane’s life – husband, daughter and son – would light a candle in her memory and look at the sky to find the star that was Mummy and say hello.
McGrath found it hard to re-enter the public arena. ‘People were very nice,’ he says. ‘A lot of them passed on their best wishes and I appreciated that. The reaction to Jane’s death is a true indication of how people felt about her. She was an inspiration to so many. It is hard, though. When people say they’re sorry for what happened, it’s nice and I know they are being kind, but it brings it all back.’
Prime Minister Kevin Rudd was right when he said Jane would be an inspiration to all as he reaffirmed the government’s pledge to grant $12 million to the McGrath Foundation. Australians threw their support behind the foundation by donating more than a million dollars in the days that followed Jane’s death.
Cricket Australia and the SCG Trust announced that the third day of the 2009 New Year’s Test against South Africa would be named Jane McGrath Day to honour both Jane and the McGrath Foundation. The day before the match Matthew Hayden wore a pink helmet in the training nets to support the cause. The two McGraths, Glenn and James, took it in turns to bowl at the Test opener.
‘Let’s knock him over,’ Glenn said to his son, in earshot of the media. ‘Put a nice red mark on that pink helmet.’ McGrath set the pace by bowling a bouncer that forced the solidly built Hayden to sway like an oak tree in a gale, then James slipped one through the opener’s defence to take a prized scalp.
Before the Test the Australian team posed in baggy pink caps, the umpires hammered pink stumps into the ground and the crowd was bathed in pink as fans showed their support for the day. South African skipper Graeme Smith threw himself into the spirit of the event by posing in one of the pink bandannas that were sold at the ground. Shane Warne turned up dressed in a garish hot-pink suit; such is Warne’s persona, his way of honouring Jane did not seem out of place.
Sadness was not an option for McGrath as he looked at the grandstands and observed that most supporters had rallied to the call to wear pink. He had, however, left his children at home for the opening day’s play because he had no idea how he would handle the ‘living memorial’ to their mother.
‘I wasn’t sure how I’d feel about this before the actual day,’ McGrath said. ‘I’m doing what I know Jane would expect. She wanted [her family] to be happy, to have fun and to enjoy life. I think of how she would have seen this. It is a huge honour for her. I know she would have felt humbled because Jane never saw herself as anyone special, but I know she’d have appreciated how special an event this is.’
The Foundation gained nearly $600,000 over the five days, but McGrath found the Test more emotionally and physically draining than any match he’d played in Sydney. The Jane McGrath Test had forced him to confront his loss again, and although he put on a brave face, it definitely hurt. McGrath and his extended family attended a high tea in Jane’s honour during the lunch break, and it was noted by media who attended the function that he had to turn away when the organisers played a video tribute to Jane that left many of the Test team’s partners – and Tracy – in tears.
At the end of the Test, which was won in the most dramatic of circumstances by the Australians, McGrath stepped onto the presentation stage and thanked everyone who’d supported the initiative. He said the outpouring of support made him proud to be an Australian, and very proud to be Jane’s husband. Most observers were amazed that he’d managed to keep his emotions together.
McGrath returned home from the SCG bone-tired and weary. Before he and his children called it a night, they had an important ritual to observe. They lit their candle for Jane and then, hand in hand, they went outside and searched the heavens for their star.
‘Hello, Mum,’ said the two children’s voices.
And then, after a brief pause, their father, who had so much to tell his wife, simply whispered: ‘Hello, Jane.’