Whenever a person wishes to prolong an action or a relation that seems doomed to end badly, what we’re actually witnessing is a situation in which this individual, despite knowing that is creating everything around himself or herself, can’t accept responsibility for it and is afraid to change and face all the fears implied in such transformation.
To be responsible and change is also to accept that we hurt others and not many people can deal with the feelings of guilt, shame and blame. It’s always easier to start from the beginning, to just destroy everything we have and restart again. Or, at least, so it seems, because it won’t work if the conscience behind the manifestation is the same. You can’t manifest a different projection in the karmic waters of life by keeping the same type of conscience.
In alchemy, water is related to emotions, and it’s one of the four main elements, being fire, earth and air the other three. And so, we can’t change our emotions by maintaining the same type of thoughts (air), actions (earth) and fire (desire).
The woman in the story mentioned before doesn’t know this and, as everyone that is spiritually immature, thought that changing man would solve her problem, while what it did was change the same paradigm to a new relationship.
If you think that you’re loving someone but you’re instead giving pain to that person, you won’t be able to move to another until you learn to love that first person. And this is a very complex topic that not many people can deal with, but the difficulty is usually related to the concept of love that we have. It’s for this reason that people try to suppress love with anger and blame. The two things are so interrelated that only the tears of disappointment and frustration can reveal the real truth beneath any human connection.
Love pushes conscience forward and pain forces the awakening of such conscience. Whenever there is love, there we will find also pain.
Most people think that love is something that simply exists within them, that spontaneously happens and they may even say: “I love you but you don’t love me” or “You love me but I can’t love you”.
From an external point of view, this may seem to make sense but it’s not the case, however, from an alchemical perspective. Love is the resulting manifestation from two elements in interaction. If the other represents a two, our reflection of one, then love is the third element, emerging from both.
To be more precise, we tend to attract people that reflect us, and that’s why friendships and relationships fail so often. We have difficulties in going back to the first elements and seeing what we’re doing, although, seeing it and changing it, also makes those friendships and relationships disappear.
The people we know are always correlated to what we are reflecting. And the emotions we create with them aren’t as much related to what is said or thought as to what is felt between both. That specific emotion is a chemical reaction showing the combination between self and the reflection of self.
In fact, it’s quite interesting to notice that people tend to see different things on the other, and even interpret different things in a conversation according to their own nature. One sentence can have one meaning to a certain person and a completely different meaning to another. And yet, whatever each one observes, is always related to who they are, to what they must see and acknowledge.