Real love starts with admiration. We admire the ones that manifest what we wish for ourselves, as well as those that make us feel proud.
Admiration works in both ways, so, for example, men want to be admired by being seen with a beautiful and friendly woman, and women want to be admired by being seen with a beautiful and friendly man. In both cases, this admiration is related to recognition, a third element.
Another third element could be the projection of our inner desires. Whatever we need becomes loved when seen. So, if a woman needs a rich husband, she may believe to be falling in love with a man that has money. And the same applies to certain emotions, like respect, happiness, etc.
Obviously, within these concepts that we need, there may also be others that we reject, and sometimes they are the same. For example, if a woman wants to be happy but can’t accept happiness due to her own self-inflicted pain related to a past that she hasn’t solved, namely, past breakups that aren’t yet healed, then she can’t love anyone else, as she’s living in contradiction.
When women constantly change from one relationship to another, thinking that the problem is in the man they find, they’re basically running away from themselves.
Whenever I saw this situation manifesting in women that couldn’t be happy with me, it was extremely easy to make them want me back, because I suddenly realized it wasn’t love that attracted them to me but pain. The more I offended them and gave them painful words, the more they wanted me back. In fact, they were smart enough to know how to provoke me into reacting in such way.
That’s obviously a distorted perception of love but is extremely common with women that are unhappy with themselves. They may say to a previous boyfriend that they love him while sleeping with another, as they feed from the pain of others. And that’s their third element, that’s how they diminish their own sense of guilt and frustration.
It would be normal to affirm that everyone desires happiness, but the truth is that a person that isn’t happy can’t. She will destroy her own relationships without realizing it. At the end, she will only be able to look at reactions, not her responsibility in the process.
Happiness is in the 1st alchemical element, our desire, the 2nd, what we admire in the other, the 3rd, the love between both, and the 4th, the experiences shared together. But as soon as we reach the fifth element, happiness becomes the need for more, and it is at this point that the happiness shared might not be enough.
If a woman can’t be happy, she’ll always seek for happiness in something more than her own relationship, by traveling more, meeting more men and demanding more things from her lover. She’ll always project a need for happiness, because she can’t see it in any of the previously mentioned four elements.
Often what happens is that people aren’t conscious of their own life, and so, they move from the 1st alchemical element to the 5th without any awareness whatsoever, and then are surprised when the 5th element brings forth destruction.
This statement can easily be proven when you tell others how they offend you and they show themselves surprised, as the most aggressive individuals are commonly completely unaware of what they’re doing to others and how they influence them.
There’s a huge weakness in the first element, the conscience of self, whenever there is pain. And it’s as sad to say it as it is challenging, because there’s only one way to help such individuals, and it consists in loving them despite the amount of pain they give us in return.
It’s extremely difficult to love someone that, for example, betrays, but the dramatic side of it is that this is the only way they’ll ever have a chance to be normal again and maintain any relationship in their life.
This kind of sacrifice may lead to the death of the one sacrificing himself, but this is what love truly means. When a priest risks his own life to perform an exorcism, he is offering the ultimate sacrifice, his life in exchange for the soul he wants to rescue.