The number four is a powerful number, and although not often used for magic rituals, it’s important when we want to predict what kind of magic the number five will show us.
There are two ways to do this, either by using a square or a cross. If we’re using a cross, we are dealing with opposites. So, for example, the left and right side of the cross represent opposing elements, while the upper and lower show elements that define their type of interaction.
The most simple way to see the left and right sides of the cross is as past and future. If the past is good, the future can only be bad if the upper and lower elements aren’t balanced between each other, namely, when a woman cheats on her boyfriend by having sex with a man she doesn’t love. Such relationships can’t ever work and it’s statically proven that they’re doomed to fail, simply because the reason why they start in the first place is to escape an emotional challenge, which then ends up reverting to the new partner with far more strength than before.
The stronger the fear, the deeper the desire, but desire in itself emerges always from fear, and therefore, the more we wish for something, the more we fear its opposite. That’s why women that fear being abandoned invest so much in their new relationships that end up becoming obsessed about it, eventually destroying it with such obsession. The more we fear something, the more we obsess over its opposite, and the more we obsess, the less results we get, which eventually leads to more fear and a stronger obsession. Fears will always catch up with us, and if not with a previous relationship, with the next, reason why, in time, we end up seeing the same signs we are already familiar with manifesting in a new partner.
The upper and lower elements of the symbolic cross can also be represented as the man and woman going in different directions and pursuing different goals, or merely their thoughts and emotions. So, for example, if my girlfriend is trying to manipulate me into living with her and can’t accept my own needs, she’s creating an unbalance in which the movement from past to future will lead to a transference from good to bad, as what actually happened between us in my last relationship, because we started fighting more after being apart.
From another angle, looking now at emotions and thoughts, the same thing occurs. If one person doubts the love of the other, there is already unbalance at the lower element of the cross, and this if we’re correlating heart and mind.
Such situation can be corrected with the upper element, the mind, but if one of them isn’t mature enough, then the collapse is imminent. And, in fact, this was also verified in my situation, because I kept explaining to my girlfriend that I was always alone, working, and even talking to her on the phone everyday, but she could’t feel at peace. Despite all the evidences that her mind could perceive, her heart was afraid, as she was afraid to end alone, and so, she manifested the future that ended up happening.
The Egyptian cross, also known as ankh is a good representation of such dynamics, because at the upper level we find the symbol for conscience, showing us that whatever happens and whatever we choose in life, is always determined by conscience.
Conscience is cyclical, and with every cycle we revert to a different manifestation, a different passage and transformation. It is for this same reason that the yin and yang symbol of Taoism is shown in a circle as well as the wheel of life in Buddhism.
The dramatic side of my personal story is that, by running away from her fears, my ex-girlfriend created an even greater unbalance between her own heart and mind, and so, she ended in a relationship that completely traps her inside her own mind, a major illusion that she can’t awake from and may never anytime soon. The way she talks about her new boyfriend has everything to do with illusive manifestations and nothing to do with emotions or love. In fact, she believes that her relationship is working relatively well because there is no love, which is even more sad, as she can’t see that the imminent collapse shown already in less than one month, unveils a dark and painful future that she can’t escape from.
It is obvious by her own words that she is confusing the failure with hope, lack of emotions with easier love, and conscience with illusion, therefore allowing the growth of the impact that this karma will have on her.
Her strong desire to keep me as a friend is as much a contradiction as it is a desperate call for help in a person that can’t be helped, as she’s voluntarily creating her own painful future. By the time she realizes what happened, she’ll be facing a much bigger and darker fear, a much dramatic solitude.
Fears never abandon us but they get stronger if we feed them. And running away is feeding the fear. As soon as it becomes big enough, it comes with a vengeance, and this is what will happen to her as soon as she realizes that she lost both relationships. As a matter of fact, when she told me that she had found hundreds of unanswered calls in his phone but still wants to be with him to, in her own words: “see if the relationship can work” she’s already assuming a self-destructive attitude towards her own life.
It is said that the ones that hurt us the most need more love and compassion than anyone else, but it’s nearly impossible to save someone that has decided to destroy her own life. Whatever we say to such people, they will always do the opposite.