INFLUENCE MODEL
As we’ve seen, two people can get different results from a similar target, even when using the same method. Several factors can affect these results. A significant one is the person’s likability. We’re more inclined to follow people we find attractive. The teachings of the Koran say, “God is beautiful and loves the beautiful.” Although God loves everything, we sometimes use His name to describe behaviors that are entirely human. This beauty that Islam mentions largely describes patterns of how we, not God, have a predilection for the beautiful. This refers not only to physical attractiveness, but also to charm, position, and any other criteria that enhance the message bearer’s appeal. Our species is inclined to please the people it likes the most.
There are two fundamental conditions for increasing this attractiveness: first, looking like the kind of person the target wants to be, and second, being someone they can relate to through shared similarities. The chances of getting a positive response increase if the request comes from a person with whom we have developed an affinity. In short, you should always seek that genuine connection with those you wish to conquer, a method that modern tyrants and coercive cult leaders have unfortunately learned quite well.
The idea is to establish a relevant starting point, such as musical taste, a name, or a hometown. Then it would be helpful to pay attention to other things you have in common and highlight them. One way of increasing this sense of similarity is through imitation, carefully repeating the words, gestures, or actions of the person with whom we are interacting. This exercise increases affinity levels, which in turn increases sincere likability and the chances of succeeding.
It should also be noted that a positive image is strengthened by demonstrating facts, credibility, authority, and knowledge. And this is something that can’t be built without effort and can’t be imitated. Our suggestion must also respond to the interests of those we wish to persuade; there must be something for them to gain. It’s not about offering a bribe or igniting a smoke bomb, it’s about allowing the decision to happen naturally, without coercion. Sometimes the benefit to the target isn’t too clear. That’s when indecision sets in, which often leads to a mental block. In this case, the best thing to do is to find support from people who have the same perspective you want to promote.
UNTIE THE KNOTS WITH CONFIDENCE’S FINGERS.
In China, the expression “three men make a tiger” refers to the impact of receiving concrete support from three sources. Beyond Eastern wisdom, there are studies that quantify the persuasive impact of introducing a third source. The Chinese expression comes from the story of a wise counselor whom the emperor sent on a journey far from the palace. Knowing that gossip and intrigue would rain down from his adversaries upon his departure, he told the emperor before he left to beware of such remarks. The royal insisted he wouldn’t believe anyone who spoke ill of his beloved adviser, but the counselor asked him, “If someone told you that there was a tiger in the palace, would you believe them?” The emperor bluntly said no. “And if, along with this messenger, another one came along and said that he had seen a tiger, would you believe him?” The emperor insisted that he would not. “Suppose that before these two messengers leave the room, a third one arrives, alarmed, and says that he’s seen a tiger. Would you believe him?” The emperor hesitated and said, “I’d think that, for some unexpected reason, a tiger had escaped from captivity and entered the palace.” The sage stood looking at him and said, “See, Your Majesty, three men make a tiger. The same thing will happen to the lies they tell you about me when I leave. Ask me about anything they tell you about me.”
The saddest evidence of the power of other people’s opinions doesn’t lie in traditional psychological knowledge but in the crude reality of the behavior of societies mobilized by masses of people enraged and alienated by the most absurd ideologies. Even the best families can experience this, as proven by the German experience almost a century ago.
Ironically, a Polish Jew came up with one of the most eloquent investigations to prove how the collective’s opinion alters our reasoning. In the 1950s, Solomon Asch conducted a research project in which he invited groups of students to take a test. He had them enter a room full of other “participants,” who were no more than the researcher’s minions. The recruits were exposed to a series of figures containing lines of different lengths. The idea was that each participant, following a pre-established order, would indicate which of the lines was the longest. One after another, the minions provided wrong answers, and with this group tendency, the answers of the research subjects changed. The experiment’s results demonstrated how social pressure can impact our perception of reality.4
If one of the researcher’s minions gave a deliberately wrong answer, the impact on the research subjects was minimal, but this influence increased significantly when the number reached three or more “wrong” answers. That’s the thing: Three opinions can make a tiger appear.
Often the collective opinion is formed spontaneously and carries us along. But other times mobilizations are the result of carefully planned strategies that cause a snowball effect in which a few convince others, and this becomes an avalanche of lies to the maximum extreme.
Asch’s research reveals that a totally rational person can be pressured to deviate from their levelheaded behavior. The results are compelling in demonstrating that group reactions can lead to behavior that is inappropriate or out of touch with reality.
SOMETIMES WE DON’T FALL INTO SADNESS, SOMETIMES WE’RE PUSHED.
This is why companies make such an effort to show how many followers they have. It’s a common practice in nightclubs to create conditions to gather a lot of people at the venue’s entrance, and thus create the idea that there’s a crowd eager to get in, even though there is room inside for many more customers than those waiting outside. In politics there’s a race to see which candidate can get the largest turnout at their rallies, which also becomes a perception struggle. “The most read book” and “the most visited park” are typical messages that don’t focus on intrinsic attributes, but on developing the idea that if many people like it, it must be excellent.