As we’ve seen, self-control can help you overcome any challenge and the more you hone it, the more effective you’ll become. The way to achieve this is precisely by exercising actions that require you to put it to the test.

The simplest and most direct way is to expose yourself to situations that require you to forgo instant gratification, and see if you’re able to overcome them. A good example is taking on complex challenges such as the following:

1. Go three days without eating sugar
2. Practice intense exercise for three days in one week
3. Write one thousand words a day for a week

Once you’ve achieved this, you can level up. For example, don’t restrict just sugar for three days, but also flours. (Please consult with your doctor before engaging in any activity that involves dietary changes.)

It would be almost impossible to maintain a commitment and devote all the necessary effort to self-control if we didn’t have a concrete goal. So far in this book, we’ve gone through complex processes of self-assessment and then perspective formulation, but none of this would make any sense if it weren’t accompanied by a profound reason for taking the actions this demands.

DIAGRAMS OF PURPOSE

There are too many obstacles and too long a road to reach our loftiest dreams. At the same time, this is a journey we take not just to reach the destination and stay there. Sometimes we must climb down from success to see it through.

THE SOUL’S MEMORY CAN ALWAYS STORE ALL THE DATA.

How to identify the purpose that should move us is a topic that has been covered endlessly, and various theories have been developed, many of them effective. When considering which one to recommend, I prefer one that combines what we’re passionate about (what we love) with what comes naturally (what you’re good at, that is, what your intelligence supports), what is transcendent (what the world needs, meaning the contribution we make), and what is profitable (what we can be paid for, in other words, the compensation our actions yield).

The theory that I will explain in the following pages comes from the ingenuity of several thinkers whose ideas eventually found a common path, even though their disciplines weren’t seeking the same outcome. Their combined work doesn’t offer an easy-to-apply alternative for moving forward individually in terms of personal purpose. But it possesses a vision that has become an extraordinary phenomenon.

The first step was taken by astrologer Andrés Zuzunaga. Just to be clear, I don’t subscribe to astrological concepts, but this model is very useful whether you do or not. Zuzunaga proposed a Venn diagram depicting the interrelation of the four factors I just mentioned above. The intention of this diagram was to illustrate his view of the forces at work in the construction of our purpose.

A couple of years later, author Marc Winn fused basic interpretations of certain branches of Japanese philosophy with the graphic representation designed by Zuzunaga. Winn presented his model to summarize the concept of ikigai—which refers to where the source of the value of life emerges and gives meaning to our effort—and ended up creating a new guide for evaluating our actions in the map of the aforementioned dimensions: what we’re passionate about, what comes naturally, what is transcendent, and what is profitable.²

This new diagram has become so popular that in the Western world it has turned into an icon for understanding, exploring, and explaining the principles of ikigai, which hasn’t been welcomed by some experts on the subject, but has become a didactically exceptional and popular tool.

Left: Diagram of Purpose based on the ideas of A. Zuzunaga

Right: Ikigai diagram based on the theories of M. Winn

After Winn adapted the diagram, it went viral, and this vision is now indivisible from ikigai, given that practically all the literature on the subject is based on this interpretation, although unfortunately an alarming number of authors have forgotten to mention its creators.

In the ikigai model proposed by Winn, which stems from his own interpretation of this Japanese philosophy, the tasks of daily survival converge with the highest elements of each person, through their skills, astuteness, and ingenuity. These are things that can make us happy and become our livelihood.

From a more philosophical perspective, this vision seeks to make people do things in a sustainable and harmonious way. Under ikigai, everyday activities are enjoyed and value is placed on small details.

IF THEY ARE NOT STIMULATED, THE HEARTBEATS LOSE THEIR RHYTHM.

Each of the circles in the diagram proposed by Winn represents one of the four factors that, when connected, lead to what he calls ikigai:

• What we love to do and we’d do without looking at the clock or how much we get paid for it.
• What supports our natural intelligences. We feel comfortable doing it because we do it well (and ideally, we love doing it).
• What we can do to receive an income. We’ve already established a way to turn it into a source of income. (And it would be even better if we were passionate about doing it and were good at it).
• An activity that gives back, fulfills us, and gives meaning to our lives. (It would be perfect if we were excited just thinking about it, exhibited mastery in its execution, and were compensated for doing it).

The interaction of these four factors, whether they’re referred to as “ikigai” or “purpose,” also has other internal connections that can be seen in the following illustrations.

When what we are passionate about is combined with what comes naturally to us, we have a passion, an activity that we enjoy doing, and we do it well, like the skilled dancer who can spend all day on stage and who is scolded because they need to rest.

We mustn’t forget that passion comes from passio, which means “to suffer” and is related to padecer, which also means “to suffer,” as in the Passion of Christ, who received the action. In our passion, we are the subject.

When what is supported by our natural intelligences is combined with what we can do to support ourselves financially, we have a profession, the job we’re paid to do well.

When what we are paid to do is combined with the transcendent, we find a vocation. For example, the social work we do and for which we receive financial compensation. The vocation must come from our ideals and convictions, not from what benefits us.

When the transcendent is combined with what we’re passionate about, we have a mission, which can be a kind of personal priesthood, something that is done mainly because it generates enthusiasm in ourselves and others. This can be common in volunteer or activist activities.

While connecting the factors in the previously mentioned combinations can be beneficial, none of them can provide you with a lasting purpose on their own. If any of these connections aren’t made, a vacuum is created that will eventually swallow that purpose because it is incomplete.

In my case, I’d add to the four dimensions my constant search for ways to place my steps on the mantle of God’s will. God is in what I’m passionate about, and my talents are a gift He has bestowed me. Similarly, any resource received comes from His grace, and any transcendent action is a compensation for His favors.

For example, we could do something that we like, that fulfills us, and that we do well, but it would be difficult to make it sustainable if it doesn’t offer us financial support. Similarly, if a job that we’re good at is financially profitable, but doesn’t end up moving us, sooner or later we’ll be filled with dissatisfaction and we’ll seek to intensify one of the other factors (more money or greater social contribution, for example). In other words, if you’re good at a job and it’s profitable financially, but you’re not passionate about it, sooner or later you may feel that you need more money to make up for that.

DON’T WORRY WHEN I RUN OUT OF PATIENCE, BUT RATHER OF DESIRE.

If we embark on activities that do nothing for the community, we will lose our chance to leave a legacy. If we engage in activities that don’t match our talents, we’ll be overworked and that will likely be a source of distress and fatigue. As you can see, the intensity of our purpose can be drained by any of those four leaks, but on a daily basis, in the demanding world we live in, the one that consumes the most time and has caused us the most sleepless nights is the one that has to do with money. You need to take some diligent time to locate yourself on the map of life and know where you stand and where the heck you’re going. Shake off your apathy right now, dot your i’s and cross your t’s.

INTENTION MAP

The fear of going bankrupt or of losing the income we rely on, even if it’s coming from an activity that destroys us from within, is the main reason why millions of people in the world are afraid to release the butterflies and pursue their personal purpose. Since this is precisely the most critical element in the modern era, I will devote the next two sections of this step to talking a bit about money, but first let’s finish our review of the purpose model.

Let’s take a look at what we’ve just discussed with a concrete example: music, an activity that many people are passionate about. To turn music into a purpose, aside from passion, one must have musical intelligence (this activity’s contribution to society is so important that we don’t even need to mention it). You may already have these three factors in place, but turning a musical career into a way of life becomes a bit more complicated. It’s not always about whether we have the courage to let our dreams take flight, but whether we are willing to give them wings.

Before we continue, remember that achieving your purpose doesn’t imply that you should abandon other vital issues for you and your loved ones. On the contrary, it should become the engine that drives your relationships with greater intensity. This exercise doesn’t consist of finding a purpose and only focusing on it—you must remain in a constant state of seeking.