Caitlyn

Paris could be described as beautiful during daylight, the architecture and the atmosphere of this history drenched city as uniquely engaging as its people, but Paris by night came alive in a twinkle of lights, an array of colourful people, and postcard-perfect scenery against a midnight skyline. You may only get to see it once, but Paris is a city you will never forget even if by chance you lived a million years.

A city full of romance, endless opportunities and perspective, people came to Paris in search of themselves. The city of lovers. The city of lies.

The Boulevard Saint-Michel and Boulevard Saint-Germain had become a mecca for tourists, the Latin-quarter of Paris all eager to sample the delights France’s capital city had to offer. Amidst the cobbled streets of various bars, restaurants, and shops, the imposing stature of the Notre Dame Cathedral loomed in the distance, the gargoyles thought by locals and tourists alike to ward off evil.

But most Parisians were unaware of the true evil that lurked below their city. Yes, the vampires and monsters were out in the open, and France, like most countries, had embraced those who ventured out of the shadows and into the spotlight. Yet the true monsters of Paris lurked in the shadows still and controlled more of Paris than they liked to admit.

The air smelled the same to Caitlyn, crisp and a little humid, and the sounds of the city amplified by her vampire hearing. Despite the sense of familiarity, the city of her birth consisted of a lot more traffic than she remembered. The constant beeping of horns and the sound of mopeds zipping around took a little bit of adjustment, the streets a little fuller than the horse and carts she remembered along the cobbled streets.

Caitlyn allowed herself a smile as she stood atop the Pont d’Iéna Bridge adjacent to the Eiffel Tower, blending in with the throngs of tourists lined up for the clock to strike nine and waiting for their spark of Parisian magic. At the chime of nine, the Eiffel Tower burst into a spectacular array of lights, twinkling and flashing as the crowds ohhed and ahhed, the sparkle lighting up the night sky. Caitlyn had not seen the sight for over a hundred years, nostalgia having dragged her here tonight, the view she had from her rented apartment too alluring to resist.

Perhaps Caitlyn should have been keeping a low profile considering the suicide mission she had decide to go on, but he would have known the moment Caitlyn’s private plane touched down at Charles de Gaulle airport. Even now, a vampire stalking over the bridge caught sight of her and froze, his eyes widening at the mere sight of her before he retreated, vanishing into the crowds in a heartbeat.

Caitlyn knew her reputation preceded her, one of the few good things to come from her time under her maker’s tutelage. Many had witnessed her spree of blood and destruction. Few had lived to speak of it. Yet whispers among the children of the night spread across the world until every single vampire understood that Caitlyn could be the last thing they saw before their final death. Caitlyn was a blade, honed to perfection and sharp enough to cut.

After having no choice but to kill her father, Caitlyn forced herself to push down the barest hint of humanity she clung to, ignoring the guilt that came from killing those who her maker marked for death. Shame engulfed her as flashes of those she had slain replayed through her mind; dismembered bodies, victims she had tortured for information, and the suffering and fear she had unleashed by her hand. Disgust darkened her features at how much she had revelled in it.

Despite the impact of the control he held over her, Caitlyn could not blame him entirely for her lust for the kill. Her pére had prepared her for her first kill, his parentage meaning Caitlyn had been trained from an early age to wield a blade and how to strike death blows for various creatures. Telling her tales of vampires and legacies beyond her control, her beloved father informed her that she had a destiny to protect the innocent against those who would harm humans, and that she had blood in her veins that would give her the strength to do so.

As a child of maybe five or six, Caitlyn’s earliest memory of her training was the day her father took her out of Paris and into the countryside, where he handed her a knife, placed himself in front of a tree, and demanded she throw the blade over and over until she could toss the knife at him without her hand trembling until her aim landing true. It had taken a while, daylight turning to dusk until a fury inside her was unleashed and she lashed out, the knife digging into the tree mere inches from her father’s head.

After that, it wasn’t long before her father took her on hunts, and for many years once she became a teen, Caitlyn had gone by herself. By day Caitlyn was a lady of the manor and educated as such, but by night she was a hunter and that had continued well into her death.

There had been a brief period that she had left that life behind her, stopping her pursuit of the undead when she realized she was with child. Jessamine became a shining light, with Caitlyn determined not to allow the legacy of darkness of their ancestry take hold of her pure soul.

Caitlyn had kept only one secret from her Sebastian, and mayhap, if she had divulged the dark deeds of her past with him, then the moment the monster had stepped over the threshold of their home, Sebastian might not have dismissed the ramblings and ravings of evil within his new investor as an illness due to her pregnancy.

“My love, you are unwell. This pregnancy has made you ill. We will right this, love. Have no fear.”

“I’m not unwell, you idiot! That monster is a vampire, and he will bathe in all of our blood if we allow it. Think of Jessamine…think of your son. If we do not slay the monster and rid ourselves of this creature, he will destroy us all, Sebastian.”

Caitlyn felt a prick to the side of her neck as the nurse gave her something to calm her, but little did they know that the monster haunted her whilst she slept, dredging up dark and illicit fantasies that she could not fight against.

Hiding the world from Sebastian had not shielded him from evil like Caitlyn had wished for, it had only brought it knocking at their door and snuffed out her family in between breaths. It became a nightmare Caitlyn had yet to wake from, and a story of a monster who would stop at nothing until he captured what he deemed to be his.

Caitlyn shook her head to clear away the memories, tearing her tear heavy eyes away from the sparkling spectacular sight of the Eiffel Tower. Her heels barely made a sound as she strode away from the bridge, trying to ignore the admiring glances in her direction. Caitlyn knew why they looked, but understood that sometimes being beautiful could be a curse itself, because the curse of being ‘beautiful’ had led her down this path of destruction and sorrow. Had she been unremarkable, had she been plain and nothing special to gaze upon, then he would not have spared her a second glance.

On their first meeting, Sebastian barely looked at her, concentrating on his sketches in the courtyard of Notre Dame Cathedral, impressing tourists with his art. Caitlyn had been walking the city to calm herself after a long night of bloodshed. When she happened upon a mousey-haired, thin wisp of a man whose spectacles had slipped down the bridge of his nose, Caitlyn had been drawn to him. His skin was sun-kissed from many a day sitting in the Paris sunshine, and when he smiled, Caitlyn’s stomach flipped.

Without knowing his name, Caitlyn surveyed him for a time, captivated by the flick of the pencil, etching the cathedral onto the blank canvas. His eyes didn’t wander from the cathedral even as she stepped up beside him, waiting a few moments until she spoke.

“Perhaps if you lighten the shade of grey in the sky, then the gargoyles would appear fiercer.”

Her words, spoken in her native tongue, wrung a snort from the artist, who shook his head. “Mademoiselle, I draw what I see, what I feel…perhaps, if my art is not to your liking, you should move on elsewhere and leave me to my own devices.”

Used to being an outspoken female, Caitlyn chuckled at his words as the sound of her laughter dragged his gaze away from his artwork and eyes of the deepest blue looked at her in surprise. Caitlyn gave him a smile, apologized, and asked if he would have coffee with her, as a way for her to make amends for her ill words. Extending her hand, Caitlyn introduced herself, and as the handsome man took hold of her outstretched hand, she asked him his name.

“Sebastian Hardi, Lady Caitlyn. It is my honour to meet your acquaintance.”

Inseparable since then, a flirtation quickly turned to love, and Caitlyn had agreed to be his wife a short six months later. A small ceremony with just a few guests, Caitlyn had pledged to be married to Sebastian until death do them part. And it had. But here she was, walking the streets of the city in which her most painful memories burned bright, and the moments Caitlyn treasured more than life itself came alive.

Having walked for what seemed like forever, Caitlyn halted when the suburbs of Paris surrounded her, and the elegant manors came into view. Pausing outside one of the manors, she glided up the steps, twisted the handle, and went inside. The house appeared as if she had never left it. The staff she hired to maintain the home she and Sebastian had lived in, the home in which her father had raised her, kept in pristine condition.

Caitlyn lingered in the foyer, her body beginning to tremble as flashes of memory threatened to undo her. She envisioned Jessamine running down the winding staircase calling for her mama. She felt Sebastian wrap his arms lovingly around her waist and kiss the side of her cheek, and for a fleeting moment, Caitlyn was certain she could feel the son she once had growing in her stomach kicking against her.

There was a reason why she had not come back here in over three hundred years, and it was because this house and all of its memories had the ability to drown her in its ocean of pain and sorrow, and Caitlyn wasn’t certain if she wanted to be saved right now.

A crash of glass sounded, along with a gasp as Caitlyn spied a woman standing in the archway leading into the kitchen, her hand clasped over her mouth. The glass she’d been carrying lay in ruins on the floor. Caitlyn imagined it must be a surprise to see the undead woman who paid to maintain the house, who had done so to her family before her.

“M’lady, forgive me…I was not expecting you.”

Caitlyn gave her a small smile. “I had not expected to be here either. I never thought I would come back here. I just ended up here.”

“M’lady, let me clear up this mess and I will fix a room for you.”

Caitlyn took a step forward, holding up a hand. “I will not be staying, but merci. What is your name?”

“Charlotte, m’lady.”

“Charlotte, you look just like your great grandmother. She helped me with my daughter when she was born. Do you have a family?”

Charlotte had dropped to the floor and begun to clear up the glass. “I have three sons, one of whom helps me around your home.”

“You are blessed to be able to see your children grow. They will never have to ask for anything. They will have the best of education and will never fear evil. I avow it.”

The woman peered up at her, her eyes filled with a sorrow Caitlyn felt deep in her rotten soul. “My mother spoke of you often, m’lady. How you claimed my family line as your own and that meant we were safe from harm. We always had jobs. We live well and I thank you for that. Are you certain I cannot ready a room for you and some refreshments?”

Caitlyn shook her head. “Non, merci. I wish to collect something from my bedroom, and I will take my leave.” Caitlyn came to stand in front of Charlotte and held out a card. “If you need anything and cannot contact me, then call this number and tell the man that I gave you this. His name is Donnie and he is the closest thing to family I have left. Thank you for taking such good care of my home.”

Backing away, Caitlyn took the ornate staircase two at a time until she reached the top. Three bedrooms stood facing her, the one she had shared with Sebastian, the one that Jessamine had slept in, and the room in which her unborn child would have laid his head. Caitlyn made it as far as to wrap her fingers around the handle before she snatched it away, certain that seeing the blue-coloured room with Sebastian’s carefully crafted animals drawn against the blue backdrop might have undone her.

The door to Jessamine’s room opened softly as Caitlyn flicked on the light. The most vibrant shade of pink surrounded the walls of this room, but instead of a flurry of animals, Jessamine’s room had a spectacular princess castle, complete with a moat and a dragon. Jessamine had been fascinated by the beasts, and Caitlyn had spent many a night curled on the canopy bed with Jessamine weaving stories of the princess who captured the dragon and saved the day.

Walking across the white carpeted floor, Caitlyn tried not to imagine the blood that had once drenched the material, her beautiful baby girl’s body a mess against the mural. The dragon had come into their home and the princess hadn’t been able to save the day.

Perching herself at the end of her daughter’s bed, she took one of Jessamine’s dragons in her arms and lifted it to her nose. Closing her eyes, Caitlyn could almost imagine she could smell the scent of her daughter lingering here, yet she knew it was impossible.

Another memory played inside her mind, of a night shattered by the scream of a child and a mother’s rush to comfort her.

Caitlyn raced across the floor as Jessamine screamed loud enough to wake the dead. As she flung the door to her daughter’s bedroom open, she could hear her baby girl sobbing. Caitlyn perched herself on the bed beside Jessamine and pulled her into a hug.

“Hush now, baby. Tell Momma what has upset you so.”

The little girl sniffled, wiping the tears from her eyes before she peered up at Caitlyn with grey eyes that mirrored her own. “There’s a monster under my bed and it’s going to eat me.”

Caitlyn brushed the hair away from Jessamine’s forehead, kissing it briefly. “I promise there are no monsters under your bed, mon bébé.”

“But I heard it. It had claws and teeth the size of a mountain.”

Struggling not to smile, Caitlyn cupped her daughter’s chin and held her gaze. “Any monsters that would dare to come within a breath of you will answer to me first. Would I let any harm come to you?”

“Never, Momma.” Such belief in her, even back then.

“Good. Now it’s time to go to sleep.”

“Momma, I’m scared.”

Caitlyn pulled Jessamine into her lap and simply held her. “But you, my dear, sweet, beautiful child, are brave. Can you be brave for me?”

The little girl with eyes of grey and ringlets of hair as black as coal narrowed her brow. “How can I be brave if I am scared of monsters?”

Giving her daughter a bright smile, Caitlyn searched for words that, when Jessamine grew up, she could carry with her as an adult when neither she nor Sebastian were around. “To be brave does not mean you are fearless. To be brave means being absolutely terrified, but doing something anyway.”

Caitlyn cuddled her daughter some more, relenting when the little girl asked her to stay with her until she fell asleep. Lying down beside her daughter, she breathed in the apple scent of her skin, stroking Jessamine’s hair as her daughter’s breathing evened and she fell into a deep sleep.

A throat cleared in the doorway, and Caitlyn smiled at the tousled appearance of her husband, who looked at her with such love.

“Je t’aime.” He mouthed, a grin on his face.

Caitlyn, assured that their child was asleep and safe, got up from the bed and pressed her lips to Sebastian’s. “I love you too,” she said against his lips, happier than she could ever expect to be. Happiness was a blessing, as was her family, and she was grateful to God for his blessing upon them.

A sob escaped Caitlyn for she had been unable to slay the monster that took her family from her. Broken promises to a little girl who never had the chance to grow into a woman who could have been brave. Rising from the edge of the bed, Caitlyn placed the dragon back on the bed and left, closing the door behind her, but the lingering sadness came with her.

Leaning her head against the door, she took a moment to allow her pain to overwhelm her until her knees threatened to buckle under the sheer force of her body shaking. Her daughter was dead, her son was dead, and no matter how many promises she made to them, no matter how much she’d been able to slay vampires and kill monsters in the past, none of it mattered when she didn’t have the strength to keep her family alive.

Caitlyn had not been brave. She had not been fearless and that one moment of sheer panic had cost her everything. She slid to the floor, pulled her knees to her chest, and allowed herself to cry for the first time in over two hundred years.