Jody
I told him not to kiss me, and here I am, meeting his lips halfway. Actually, I might’ve leaned in closer and stayed longer than I should’ve. Still, when his tongue slithered between my parted lips, I got caught up in his taste and his sensual touch.
Lost to what he did to me earlier. My mind wanders to his hand on my heated flesh.
The control of his fingers between my legs.
The way he found what I needed and gave it to me until my body could take no more.
I’m so stupid.
I thought when he spanked me, it’d be funny.
Boy, was I wrong and naïve?
I should’ve known better with a man like Nash. He’s had a lot of women. Now, in some sense, he’s had me. Well, a part of me. I let him have it, and all for what? So I could get a damn job.
Deep down, I honestly think I knew what I was doing. What I was asking for but asked for it in a cowardly way.
I want him.
I know when that craziness all started.
When the need to have Theo Nash burrowed itself inside my body and made a home there.
Nothing I did would kick him out.
It happened the night I lost my virginity. I was with Todd. It was awkward and not that good, and lying in Todd’s basement, in his mother's house, staring up at the ceiling, the first thing that popped into my head was Nash.
I never really sexually thought of him. So, being with Todd and me in his bed confused the entire situation further.
The sex disappointed me. I expected more.
That’s when my mind wandered to Nash. That’s when I started to imagine what sex might be like with my best friend.
His lips break from mine. He draws back and glances over my shoulder.
“Ashley was looking.” He picks up his harness. “Thought I’d give her a show.”
“Oh,” I say, watching as he straps himself in.
My heart sinks to my belly. The kiss was for my boss.
What did I think? He did it because he wanted to?
I need to put my friend cap back on. Apparently, he has. This afternoon didn’t mean anything to him. It was just another sexual encounter to add to his long list.
He lifts the backpack from the ground. “Let’s go,” he says without looking at me again.
We join the people on the plane. The sound vibrates through me, enhancing what I’m about to do. I’m nervous. My stomach is doing somersaults.
I turn to Nash.
He looks down at me. His eyes search my face. I don’t know what he’s thinking or seeing. Do I look like I’m going to puke? I feel like I might.
He touches my arm and leans down to my ear. “It’s okay, Walker. I got you.”
He pulls back, his eyes searching mine. He nods, waiting for my response.
“Okay,” I breathe out.
The next thing I realize, I’m standing in front of the open door of the plane with Nash attached to me from behind. Right now, there’s no one else in the world that I’d want to be secured to like a backpack.
It’s loud.
I can’t hear myself think.
I stare out into the open blue sky.
Everything else disappears.
“Remember,” Nash says into my ear, disrupting the sanctuary of the open sky. “Cross your arms, bend your knees and head back.”
I nod, hug my chest, and lean back against his shoulder. He nudges me forward. I lift my knees. The harness tightens around my thighs. I squeeze my eyes shut.
We hit the air.
The wind whips in my ears, canceling out any other sounds. The first few seconds become a blur. I’m in sensory overload. The burning air whisks away my voice, deafens my ears, and reels my brain into overdrive.
The speeding air steals my breath.
I can’t breathe.
I feel a tap. I know it’s time to open my arms.
I spread them wide and open my eyes, and nothing could prepare me for the sight before me.
The clouds, the warm glowing sun, the ground below—everything is so tiny and far away.
I’m floating like a bird in the air.
Free and weightless.
And I feel Joey all around me.
I feel closer to him than I’ve felt since the day he left me.
The sun beams down on my smiling face.
I’m sailing through the wind, and for the next forty or so seconds, I take the awe-inspiring ride with Joey and Nash.
They are both with me, holding me and guiding me through the clouds.
I want to stay forever.
“Are you okay?” I hear Nash’s voice close to my ear.
I nod my head as a tear drops from my eye.
“I’m going to open the chute now,” he says just before I feel the jolt, like when a car stops fast.
Everything slows down. We sway in the air. It’s as if Joey has us, and he’s safely lowering us from the beautiful sky.
We rock back toward reality. I don’t want it to end. Minutes pass by in splendid silence, all but the lulling wind in my ears. I’m captivated by the overwhelming feelings streaming inside me.
“Lift your feet,” Nash says.
I do as I’m told. We land gently, sliding into the ground.
I feel Nash disconnect from me. I can’t move. I remain on the ground, tears streaming from my eyes.
He comes around, kneels in front of me, and takes my goggles off.
“Oh, Walker.” He wipes the tears from my cheek. “Are you all right?”
“I-I felt him, Nash. Joey was up there with us. He was all around me. It was amazing.”
“You’re okay?”
“Yes.” I nod, catching my stolen breath. “That was, oh my God! I can’t explain it. He was there. Joey was with us. I know he was! It was like we were three little birds. Ya know, like the song. You probably think I’m crazy.”
“You’re not crazy. I get it.” He pushes the hair back from my face and runs a steady thumb over my cheek. “When Joe was dying, he told me to always look up at the sky. He’d be looking back down at me. That’s why I jump. I feel like I’m meeting him part of the way. Most of the time he shows up. I’m glad he was there with us both today.”
My heart swells. A few more tears drop from my eyes. “Thank you,” I wrap my arms around him and hold on until I stop shuddering.
“You’re welcome,” he whispers into my ear.