Nash
I make it through the front door, anxious to get back to Jody, when I see my father.
Like I’m a little kid again, my entire body tenses.
“Son.” He walks over to me, stopping a few safe feet away. His eyes run over my rigid body. “How are you?”
My promise to Mima rings in my ears. “Good. You just get back?”
“Yes.” His eyes continue to race over me.
He smiles. A familiar expression I’ve only seen in a picture of him with my mother. I personally have never seen the man smile. His dark hair is streaked with gray, and his body is fuller, but he’s still in decent shape for a fifty-five-year-old man.
“Did you see your grandmother?”
“I did.” I stand in the foyer, unsure what to do with my hands. Finally, I resume my defensive stance and clench my fists.
He glances at my hands. “You’ve made her so happy. Thanks for coming.”
“How bad is she?”
He shakes his head. “Some days are better than others. You know her, though.” His eyes soften. “Did you see Mr. Steller?”
“I was just there.”
“He explained everything to you.”
I nod.
“Do you have any questions?”
“I’m good.”
“Okay. You signed the papers?”
“All set.” I look away, not wanting to get into all that shit right now.
I spot Jody, and my heated anger escapes me like a cool breeze on a hot day.
“Hi.” She moves hesitantly toward us. “You must be Mr. Nash.” Her eyes flash to the man they call my father.
“Yes. You must be Jody?” My father’s smile remains fixed and genuine. It’s strange to see.
“Theodore’s grandmother mentioned that he brought a friend. It’s nice to meet you.”
“Nice to meet you as well.” Jody smiles, moving to my side.
Her presence relaxes my fists, and my shoulders drop.
My father’s watchful eyes scan us both. “Well, I need to get my things unpacked and make a few calls, but I thought it’d be nice if we could all have dinner together.” He glances at his watch. “How’s six sound?” He views me with hopeful eyes.
Jody’s hand slips into mine. I grasp onto it.
My father’s eyes move to our joined hands.
“That sounds good.” Jody nods at my father, turning to me with a small smile. “Right?”
“Sure.” My lips thin. “Six.”
“Great!” The happy expression returns to my father’s face as his eyes lay on me for a few more uncomfortable seconds. “I’ll see you then.” He gestures with a nod before disappearing down the hall.
Filled with mixed emotions, I stand staring at the empty space he left behind. I’m not sure how to act. How I should feel. He seemed happy to see me. He appeared genuine about it. I’ve never experienced such an encounter with the man. Hating him came easy, but this… this shit.
“Hey.” Jody tugs on my hand. “You okay?”
“What?” I blink away the confusion and look down at our entwined hands. “Yeah.” I flash to her waiting, huge clear blue eyes. She’s comforting to look at. Reminds me of home, Joe, and everything that means something to me.
“Want to go for a walk? You could show me the garden.”
“Sure.” I drop the envelope I’ve been gripping onto the counter. My other hand remains entwined with hers. I’m not ready to let her go.
We stroll out the back and down a stone path until we come to the gate to the garden.
Her eyes dance around at the array of colorful flowers. “This is beautiful, and it smells awesome!”
It doesn’t compare to her scent or her beauty, but I nod in agreement. “This is Betty Jean’s oasis.”
“Oh, does she live here? Who is she? Is she your aunt or something?”
“No. She’s not my aunt, and yes, she lives here. She’s my mima’s lover.”
“Really?” Her eyes grow wide.
“Yes.” I chuckle. “She’s been here for as long as I can remember. When I was little, I’d run into Mima’s bedroom in the morning, and Betty Jean was always right there in bed with her. I didn’t think anything of it until I went to school and realized not everyone’s grandma had a Betty Jean. Most had a grandpa. I asked her about it, and she told me you can’t help who you love. You can only love them the best way you know how.”
“She’s a smart woman.”
“Yeah, she’s a lot of things. Smart is only one of them.”
“Wow, your mima is gay?” She nods. “No wonder you accepted Joey so easily.”
“I’m not gonna lie. When your best friend of five years tells you something like that, well, it did help.”
“Does your dad know?”
“Yes. He never talked about it, though. Like many other things, he chooses to ignore it. After his father died from an accident at work, Mima took the insurance money and started the business. My father has her to thank for all his money.”
“He runs the business now?”
“With her guidance. She had a stroke. It slowed her down, but she’s still in control. She has the final word.”
“She’s an amazing woman,” she says, and I hear the admiration in her voice.
“That, she is.” I smile down at her, unconsciously rubbing my thumb over her soft hand.
“Nash.” She bites her bottom lip. I recognize the look. My defense creeps back up my spine. “She asked to see me today. She—”
“Fuck!” I pull my hand from hers, recognizing the look of pity I wanted to avoid. “She told you, didn’t she?”
Her eyes gloss over, and she nods. “I can’t imagine what it must’ve been like for you growing up—”
“Fuck, Walker. Don’t do that! I don’t want your pity.”
“It’s not pity!”
“No, then what is it?”
“I’m just trying to be here for you. You brought me here. What do you want from me?”
“I just need you to be a friend.”
“Friend?” Her eyes go from sympathetic to enraged. “Friends don’t know what other friends taste like. Friends don’t kiss. They don’t finger fuck you!”
Now, this I can handle. This emotion pouring from her is doable. “Some friends do.” I grin, encouraging her anger. “Haven’t you ever had a friend like that before?”
“No! And I don’t want one!”
I grab her around the waist and pull her to me. “Well, you should have thought about that before…” I pause, the words nearly falling from my lips.
Before she let me fall in love with her. I’m not sure when it happened. It could’ve been fifteen years ago when I first laid eyes on her. On the other hand, it may have happened ten years ago or last year. Hell, it might’ve been more recent, like when I kissed her.
But fall I did and hard.
I gaze down at her. She’s waiting for me to finish what I started to say. “So, are you saying that you don’t want to be my friend anymore? Has our friendship come to an end? Is it time?” I’m tempted to add that Joe’s anniversary is coming up, but I hold my tongue.
She’s honored his will.
I’ll give her an easy out if she’s looking for one.
She peers up at me, searches me, but I refuse to crack.
My heart breaking inside, I hold my smile.
“You’re an asshole!” She lifts her chin. “And a coward.” She blinks, and a tear drops from her eye.
My heart shatters as I watch her walk away.