Someone shook me awake, and I did not appreciate it.
I growled and blinked my eyes open to see Kaye standing above me with messy hair and a wild expression.
“C’mon, get up, you!” she urged, shaking me yet again. “I got a call about another object making trouble. I’m going to get dressed and put my shoes on. Can you wake Amy?”
I growled again, but slowly rose to my feet. “Yeah, yeah. All right.”
Hopping off the bookshelf, I hurried out of Kaye’s bedroom and down the hall to Amy’s door, which she’d left out just a crack. Was that an accident or had she done it so that I could come inside if I wanted to? Hmm. Either way, I was glad as it helped me now.
“Amy,” I called, padding my way across the room. “You awake?”
It was pretty dark in there without a nightlight like Kaye kept in her room. Even my kitty eyes were struggling to see in the dark. “Hey, Amy, wake up!” I tried again.
“Five more minutes,” she moaned and rolled over to face the wall.
Shoot. I’d have to get up there.
After leaping onto the bed, I crept up near her pillow and shouted, “Amy!”
Nothing. Not even a sharp intake of breath.
Well, I guess I’d have to do this the feline way. I moved back down the bed and climbed up onto her stomach. I didn’t want to hurt her or leave paw-shaped bruises on her otherwise perfect flesh, so I climbed up slowly and carefully.
“Hey,” I called in the direction of her face once I’d taken up my spot. Oh, man, why did Kaye make me do this? If we were in such a hurry, wouldn’t it have been easier for her to do this part herself?
All I knew is that Amy had to get up and get dressed—and fast.
“Hey!” I shouted again and jumped in the air, landing back on her stomach with a whoosh. When she didn’t wake, I did it a second time. And a third.
Somewhere around my fifth leap, Amy finally roused, pulling herself up in bed while I was still mid-air.
Rather than landing on her stomach as I intended, I fell straight down on her.
Uh…
Well, something else.
“Oh geez!” I exclaimed and darted onto the floor in embarrassment. “I’m sorry! I wasn’t trying to do that.”
“What is it?” she gasped. I couldn’t even be sure she’d been awake enough to realize I’d touched her there. “What’s going on?” she demanded, reaching to flip on her bedside light.
“Get dressed quick,” I said, keeping my butt firmly planted on the floor. “We got a call about another cursed object we have to go settle. Also, you sleep like the dead. You know that?”
Amy threw off the blankets and clambered out of bed.
And she was only wearing a short T-shirt. Have mercy!
I ducked out of the room to give Amy her privacy, but the memory of her long, shapely legs had already burned itself into my brain.
Five minutes later, we all piled into the car and Kaye took off driving like a maniac.
“There was a 911 call,” she explained, keeping her eyes fixed squarely on the road. “Some kind of problem with a hand mirror. Our team texted me the address.”
I’d never had reason to place an emergency call, but ringing them up about a hand mirror—cursed or not—seemed a bit extreme.
Amy plugged the address from Kaye’s text messages into the GPS right as we made it out of the parking garage.
Turns out the place we were headed wasn’t all that far from us. Traffic was bad, but not the same kind of otherworldly nightmare it was during the daytime.
About thirty minutes after getting our wakeup call, we parked in front of a small bungalow-style house. A police car already sat in the driveway, so we parked at the curb.
“Let’s go,” Kaye said. “Get ready for some fast talking.”
She led the way to the front door, and Amy followed behind with me in her arms. All the while I tried to act as if nothing weird had happened when I woke her up.
I mean, for all she knew, it hadn’t. She’d been acting normal since then, which was a good sign. Yeah, I had a crush on her, but I wasn’t a creep—and I didn’t want my sweet Amy thinking any differently.
Kaye knocked on the door and a police officer answered. He did not look happy to see us. “Can I help you?”
“Yes, sir, we got a call about a trick mirror,” Kaye said, pushing her way past him. “It was sold at an estate sale earlier today.”
The officer’s eyebrows flew up. “I figured there had to be an explanation. Mirrors don’t just insult people.”
“Insult, huh? What exactly is this mirror doing?” I asked, my ears perking up with interest.
Amy patted my back to remind me where we were and what I was. “Shh, Moss, it’s okay, kitty.”
“Does the cat need to come in?” the officer asked as Amy attempted to follow Kaye through the door.
Amy straightened herself up tall and gave him a haughty look. “Yes, in fact, he does.”
The officer chuffed and shook his head. “It’s not my house, so whatever, I guess.” He stayed behind as Amy hurried to catch up with Kaye.
“What’s it like having the biggest nose in all of the free world?” a loud, hysterical voice demanded as we made our way into the cramped living room.
“Who said that?” I asked, whipping my head around wildly.
Amy—bless her—repeated my question so that Kaye could answer it without looking weird.
“The mirror.” Kaye picked it up from the sofa and waved it at us. “It’s got a computer chip in it so it will insult anyone who looks at it.”
Amy’s jaw dropped.
“I don’t believe that! Not for a second!” cried a teenaged girl sitting on the couch. “It told me I had a pizza face. How could a computer chip know I have acne?” She sobbed and threw herself into what looked like her mother’s arms.
“Is someone spying on us through that mirror?” the older woman asked.
“No, no, nothing like that. It’s just a coincidence,” Kaye explained patiently. “However, I can take it and give you a refund if you’d prefer.”
“I would.” The enraged mother rose from the couch and pointed toward the door. “Get that thing out of my house.”
The police officer chose that moment to join us in the living room. He leaned over and whispered to Amy, “It told me I looked like I was a dirty cop. That does seem like a big coincidence. I’m not saying I’m dirty, but how’d it know I’m a cop?”
Kaye held the mirror above her head and waited for all eyes to focus on her. “If you’ll look right here, I’ll show you how it works.”
I hadn’t seen her get the powder out of her bag, but quick as a whip, she blew some into the cop’s face. Amy had to dart out of the way to keep from being hit beside him.
Turning, she did the same for the mom and teen. “Is anyone else in the house?” Kaye asked.
“No, it’s just us,” the mother answered in a daze.
“Great. The mirror is a trick mirror. It called you ugly.” She pointed to the cop. “It told you you’re fat, even though you’re skinny.” She turned to the girl. “What kind of grades do you get?” she asked.
The girl blinked. “Straight As.”
“Great.” Kaye winked at us. “The mirror told you that you’re stupid, which is so silly because you’re actually really smart.”
Everyone nodded, and Kaye continued. “I came and took the mirror away at your request.” She waved her hand and a hundred-dollar bill appeared. “You were well-compensated since you didn’t pay nearly a hundred for the mirror.”
The woman nodded and smiled as she accepted the bill and clutched it to her chest.
“And you,” Kaye said as she turned to the cop. “You thought this was the highlight of your night, the easiest call you had, and you wish there were more like this.”
He chuckled.
Kaye dismissed him with a wave. “You can go now.”
Ten minutes later we headed home, chuckling amongst ourselves as the mirror continued to hurl ridiculous insults at Kaye and Amy.
“Your fur smells like dog pee!” it said when I peeked at its glass surface.
“Moss, no!” Amy screamed, just as I was preparing to rake my claws across that dirty, no-good smack-talker.
Well, Kaye had better fix that thing soon, or I would fix it for her.