Nesbit
2000S
He had never much cared what other people thought, or at least that was the armor he wore. He probably did care, some, or he would have given up, would have stopped playing his piano and singing songs, but he never did. But you will play hell getting him to concede it. He played from love, the same love “my mama and daddy had. They loved music.” He had risen from professional and personal ruin, from death itself, and public infamy, so many times; could anybody even keep track of how many? He would be lauded onstage, honored with his industry’s highest acclaim, and go home to a house he did not own, which he arranged to be filed under another man’s name, so that the government could never take it away. He was seventy-one years old, in wretched health, his body still polluted by the painkillers he had battled across the second half of his life. And as he sat in the gloom of his big house in Nesbit, there beside the tranquil lake, he was not thinking retirement, or even death, though death had begun, naturally, to creep into his thoughts. He was thinking comeback. He just needed a record, needed a hit. Some things, he says, smiling, “don’t never change.”
He knew it was time to cast off his worldly demon, his addiction, or that comeback was unlikely. He was too far into his life to choke that demon down, and still pour out his songs.
He also knew that if he did not beat it, he would probably die.
He was the last man standing, quite literally, the last of the big Sun boys from the beginning of rock and roll.
Others were still alive, but time had taken either their legs or their will.
Chuck Berry was even older than he, and frail, though still playing.
Little Richard had bad legs, found it hard to walk. He would talk of retirement, but Jerry Lee would dismiss it. “He’ll not retire,” he said. “Not Richard. As long as they make wheelchairs, he’ll be onstage.”
Fats Domino had vanished into his house in Louisiana.
“Fats is, is kind of . . . funny about things. I don’t know. He’s a hard cat to figure out, sometimes. He’d like to do him some more shows, really, but he’s—he’s too nervous about it. He says, ‘I don’t think them people really want to see me.’ I said, ‘I think you’re wrong there, Fats. They want to see you. They love you, man.’”
He did not believe in his own passing, his fading, as Fats did.
“I just needed a record,” he says.
His daughter, Phoebe, had come to live with him. She has said many times that she has devoted her life to him, even forfeiting her own personal life, even children, to help care for him. She had seen her daddy rise and fall many times across her life, like some yo-yo, so quick, at times, that it seemed almost impossible in a waking world, more like a dream. Kerrie had redecorated the house—the Coca-Cola wallpaper is still there in the kitchen—but had not, despite her very public accounts of Jerry Lee’s clean living, cured him.
Phoebe took a hand in her daddy’s professional life, searching for a way he could reenter the business beyond the occasional, weary nostalgia show, the tiring European trips, and small events closer to home.
Jerry Lee went searching for a cure of another kind.
He prayed for God to cast off his demon.
“If you’re not in the hands of God, you’re over,” he says, not with the desperation that some men find as old age advances and death stands at the foot of their bed, but with a lifetime of conviction that in the end God would decide his fate in this world and the next. This time, he is certain God gave him another chance to make music, a little more music.
“He calls the shots,” he says. “Broke me from my habit. I’m a very hardheaded person. I had to really be proven to.”
He laughs. “I was proven to.”
Now he calls it one of the hardest things he has ever done. It was not just a rolling addiction, but a lifetime accumulation, sixty years of rattling pills and needles, that he had to relinquish.
“I have myself pretty well straightened out,” he says, looking back on that time. “It’s been a real uphill climb, I tell you. Never be enough money to make me do that again.”
He remembers the usual pain of withdrawal, the shakes and chills that others live through, but he met that with prayer. In the end, he conquered it there in the dark of his bedroom, but not alone.
“God did,” he says.
He was still frailer than he would have liked. But he was ready to take the stage.
His professional deliverance, when it finally came, seemed almost heaven-sent.
Steve Bing, the businessman, film producer, and philanthropist, had inherited some $600 million from his grandparents when he was a teenager, and by 2008 had most of it left. He had written movies like Kangaroo Jack, produced the Stallone remake of Get Carter, and invested in the wildly successful animated film Polar Express. He had a love for rock and roll and produced and financed the Rolling Stones concert film Shine a Light, which was directed by Martin Scorsese. He put his money to work for causes he believed in, investing millions in congressional races around the country. And one such cause was the music of Jerry Lee Lewis.
In the early 2000s, Bing decided to finance and coproduce a new record featuring Jerry Lee, in duet with—or backed musically by—some of the most legendary performers in rock and roll and country music, as well as some others who just badly wanted to be part of the project.
With Bing’s money as a machine and Jerry Lee’s reputation as an enticement, the project, coproduced by Jimmy Ripp, drew a host of famous fans: B. B. King, Bruce Springsteen, Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, Ron Wood, Jimmy Page, Merle Haggard, George Jones, Eric Clapton, John Fogerty, Buddy Guy, Don Henley, Kris Kristofferson, Neil Young, Robbie Robertson, Little Richard, and Rod Stewart. It also drew country singer Toby Keith, and the modern-day bad boy Kid Rock. Some of the tracks were laid down using the expedient ways of modern music, with voices spliced and married by machines. But some were done the old-fashioned way, with men looking at each other across a microphone.
It brought live performances and even a made-for-video concert show, joining Jerry Lee with great performers in their own right, like Springsteen on “Pink Cadillac.” In one of the most interesting pieces of film from the making of the album, Springsteen sings backup, and seems glad to do it. His line at the beginning of the song, “Go on, Killer!” made people smile with a kind of goofy joy. When he and George Jones sang “Don’t Be Ashamed of Your Age,” he actually yodeled so high that Jones had to warn him not to hurt himself. When he and Willie Nelson sang the sweet “A Couple More Years,” it was with a wink and a grin. When he did “Hadacol Boogie” with Buddy Guy, you knew they spanned a time when that song was more than trivia, when broke-down guitar pickers throughout the South had it in their repertoire. Guitar licks from players like Buddy and Jimmy Page meshed with his piano and voice—which showed its age, surely, but how could it not? It was still Jerry Lee Lewis and all that that implied.
And some of it was music that just stuck in your head. His duet with B. B. King sounded like the two old men were singing on barstools on Beale Street, finally equals, so long after Jerry Lee had to sneak into Haney’s to hear the man play. “‘Before the Night Is Over,’ you gonna be in love,” says Jerry Lee. “That was a song. I liked that.” He did “That Kind of Fool” with Keith Richards, “Traveling Band” with John Fogerty, “Sweet Little Sixteen” with Ringo Starr, and “I Saw Her Standing There” with Little Richard.
Recorded mostly at Sun Studio, it was called, of course, Last Man Standing.
“Who would have believed it?” said Jerry Lee.
He emerged from the gloom of his Nesbit ranch with, if not renewed vigor, at least a new purpose. Jerry Lee Lewis had not just become relevant again, he was back in the charts. Last Man Standing rose to number 26 in Billboard’s Top 200, number 8 in country, number 4 in rock, and number 1 among independently produced albums.
“Was I surprised? Naw, I wasn’t surprised,” he says, slipping back into the confident old Jerry Lee like he was never missing. He is asked if he enjoyed making some of the songs more than others, and he just says “Enjoyed ’em all,” that all of his guest artists, some of them in their sixties, were “pretty good boys.”
Asked later if he could choose to play music with anyone, anyone in the world—the Rolling Stones, B. B. King, Hank Williams—who would it be, he didn’t miss a beat.
“Kenny Lovelace,” he answered immediately.
Last Man Standing would have been a fine album to go out on, if he was planning on going out.
He was not.
“Am I satisfied with how it’s all gone? I don’t think so. I yearn to be satisfied. I do a song and I know I can do it better. And so I seek it.” He thinks only of the music as he ponders that question, not the life that frames it. By the late 2000s, he knew that his voice was changing, ever changing, but it still sounded like him, and his hands were still able to do many of the acrobatic moves of his youth. If it looked a little slower, well, that was his intent. As he had moved closer to the Lord, the old R-rated versions of his shows were fading away. He eased up on the word muthahumper, though it would creep into a recording here and there, out of habit.
In 2007, after being feted by Kris Kristofferson, Wanda Jackson, Shelby Lynne, and others for the American Music Masters series at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland, on came a surprise guest: Jimmy Swaggart, who played “Take My Hand, Precious Lord” and told his cousin he loved him. At the end of the program, Jerry Lee took his award and instead of making a speech, walked to the piano, sat down, and played “Over the Rainbow.”
Two years after that, he returned to the Hall of Fame for its twenty-fifth anniversary, this time at Madison Square Garden, as its guest of honor. He opened the two-night celebration alone in the spotlight with a solo rendition of “Whole Lotta Shakin’ Goin’ On.” The following night he did the same thing with “Great Balls of Fire,” and rose to kick the piano bench away. Then, walking offstage, he picked it up and heaved it farther across the floor. He was seventy-four.
Even well-meaning people believed he was surely done by now; surely he would soon succumb to all that hard living, or at least, growling in disgust, finally retire. Still, when he walked into a hotel room for an interview, reporters seemed surprised somehow that he had actually gotten old. They described his face as wattled, his voice as high and thin; they described a newfound humility when he performed onstage, an increased carefulness with music that now suddenly was not a guarantee. Some reviewers seemed almost let down when he played like a grown-up and relieved when he slipped back into his occasional indulgences.
But he kept showing up, even as the world enlisted yet one more young pretty face to retell his story, now more than half a century old. In early summer of 2010, the musical Million Dollar Quartet opened on Broadway, with the actor and musician Levi Kreis stealing the show in the role of the young upstart piano player.
The show, a fanciful re-creation of that long-ago December day in 1956, was the brainchild of Sun historian Colin Escott, who had written with authority about Jerry Lee for decades, and director and writer Floyd Mutrux. In giving the role to Kreis, the show’s creative team selected a Southerner from Oliver Springs, Tennessee, and a piano pounder who had grown up on Jerry Lee’s music after his mother handed him a stack of Jerry Lee Lewis 45s when he was still in elementary school. “I cut my teeth . . . on Jerry Lee Lewis music,” he told one interviewer. He also played the hymns of Jimmy Swaggart, and was at the time enrolled in ministerial school, as Jerry Lee had been. It was almost like fiction, how his story dovetailed with Jerry Lee’s own.
The story of Million Dollar Quartet revolved around a few slender subplots—Johnny Cash’s departure from Sun, Sam’s dream of luring Elvis back from RCA—but all the energy came from the blond-haired figure behind the piano. He had never been an appropriate man, but in old age much had been forgiven, it seemed, and the very idea of Jerry Lee Lewis was enough to carry a show in what they used to call the legitimate theater. And besides, everyone said the music was the true star, just as it had been in 1956.
On a visit with his younger self in New York, Jerry Lee showed none of his characteristic gruffness or ego at the idea that someone else could play him. Wearing slippers on his feet, he merely told the young man he did a splendid job.
Then, in an almost surreal time-machine moment, the real Jerry Lee later joined the actors playing his now-departed friends onstage for an encore after the final curtain. He played “Shakin’,” rewriting the lyrics there, too, as he liked, without telling anyone beforehand. Kreis just sat close by and watched.
“There’s no stopping him,” he told the interviewer. “I want to be kickin’ ass and takin’ names at his age, like he is.”
In covering the meeting between Lewis and Kreis, the New York Times noted that it was made poignant by the older man’s “unmistakable frailty.” It was true: he was weaker that year, even as a man playing his younger self took home the Tony Award for Best Featured Actor in a Musical.
Last Man Standing had been such a success that there seemed little reason not to do it again, and while the album that followed had fewer blockbuster guests, it was crammed with fine music.
It was his fortieth album, called Mean Old Man.
This time the music was mellower but perhaps more meaningful, the artists more soulful.
He sang “Life’s Railroad to Heaven” with Solomon Burke, “Release Me” and “I Really Don’t Want to Know” with Gillian Welch, and “You Are My Sunshine” with Sheryl Crow and Jon Brion. He did a pair of well-chosen songs from the best corners of the Rolling Stones’ catalog: the heartbreaking “Dead Flowers” with Mick Jagger and the spiky, mournful “Sweet Virginia” with Keith Richards.
One of the jewels of the album was its title song, by his old friend Kris Kristofferson:
If I look like a voodoo doll, that’s what I am
If I look like a voodoo doll
Who takes his licking standing tall
Who’d rather bite you back than crawl
That’s what I am
The album would enter the Top 100 too, peaking at number 72—and putting Jerry Lee Lewis back in the charts for his seventy-fifth birthday.
He seemed to be having a good time on the album, with its easy tempos and warm ambience, but perhaps what he enjoyed most was shooting the cover photo. Dressed in a dark suit, his blond hair completely silver now, he steps out of a limousine into a waiting bevy of beautiful young women.
“They changed clothes right in there,” he says, motioning to a small room off his bedroom, “and they didn’t shut the door.”
A man is not meant to be alone.
He would fix that, in time.
He was in demand again, but even as he celebrated this latest triumph, he knew something was different this time. His phone rang with offers that year, but he could not take them, or at least not most of them. In the middle of this latest comeback, his body failed him again, this time not violently, as it had before, but in a creeping betrayal. Arthritis in his back all but crippled him, making it nearly impossible to sit on the piano bench for more than a few songs, a few minutes. Pneumonia hit him again and again, leaving him weak. Shingles left him in agony. Still he wasn’t convinced that he would not rise one day from his sickbed in the big house in Nesbit and walk into a studio or climb a stage. “I would like to record some new songs,” he said that summer, “but I guess that’s in God’s hands.” He had beaten his addictions and walked cold turkey away from his old friend Calvert Extra just in time to be beset by the ravages of age, as if he were any other man. The phone rang, and he promised, weakly, to do it if he could, when he could.
He needed a caregiver.
Judith Ann Coghlan was his ex-brother-in-law Rusty’s wife, and Myra’s sister-in-law. She came to Nesbit to cook and help care for him, and to talk about times better than these. They had much in common. She was the daughter of sharecroppers, too, from the tiny town of Benoit, Mississippi. She was a tall blonde, a star athlete as a young woman who had played basketball for the Memphis Redheads professional team, whose players took the court in satin outfits and jumped for rebounds in big hair.
She was living at the time in Monroe, Georgia, but said she moved to the Lewis house at her husband’s urging. She arrived to find the house and the man in need of attention.
“He was lethargic, out of it . . . ,” she says, and worse, “Had systemic infections—shingles, pneumonia.” But treatment was difficult. “He was scared of needles,” she said, afraid of the old demon he had beaten back after a lifetime.
“Yeah,” Jerry Lee says now, “it was no bed of roses.”
As he lay there between fevers and bouts of pain, they spent long hours talking about where they grew up and how. They talked about old songs, and old ways. “I fell in love,” she said. “Well, I probably fell in love before then.” They had met more than a quarter century before, in Las Vegas, where he said that if Rusty didn’t marry the woman, he would. “We went to see him with sawdust on the floor in the Cherokee Plaza, in Atlanta,” she said. “I remember the women screaming. . . .”
“And you wanted to be one of them,” smirked Jerry Lee.
“Yes,” she said, “I did.”
She divorced her husband in 2010 and immediately clashed with Phoebe and Myra.
“Phoebe told me, ‘You have no right to take him.’”
“She probably thought she was lookin’ out for me,” said Jerry Lee.
“They told me, ‘Well, give her two hundred dollars and the old Buick,’” as incentive to leave, Judith said.
Money was never the reason, she said. There was not much of that, hadn’t been for some time.
“I was told he would kill me,” Judith said. “I was told he would kick me out after one month. But Jerry stood by me and we made it.”
“I got her down here,” said Jerry Lee, “and wouldn’t let her leave.”
At Christmas 2010, he gave her a diamond ring, but did not tell her it was an engagement ring until a few months later. “I want you to know that the ring I gave you for Christmas is a promise that I will marry you,” he said, as she later told the Natchez Democrat.
“I’d never had a diamond like that,” Judith said.
Jerry Lee just lay in his bed and smiled.
She was treating him for various ailments, all over his body. “I figured if she got that close,” he said, “we might as well go all the way.”
He was still weak and ailing, but he was feeling better.
She traveled with him, to do a show in Budapest.
“That’s when it was ‘Great Balls of Fire,’” he said, and then, quietly, ‘hee, hee.’”
In those early days with Judith, he would rise from his bed and do a show, then slump exhausted in the car or plane seat for the long ride home. They were all long rides then, even if they were just up the road.
In a concert at Jack White’s Third Man Records in Nashville in April 2011, fans lined up by the hundreds to get tickets, to buy posters and T-shirts with the young man’s face and the simple legend KILL. They were mostly young people, people who were not alive when he was the hottest thing in rock and roll, not even alive when he was the hottest thing in country music; many of them may not have been alive when he entered the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. He had been old all of their lives.
“A lot of the old fans are gone,” he says now. “But I guess there are new ones to take their place.”
In a plain black suit and white starched shirt, he played them some barroom music:
Wind is scratchin’ at my door, and I can hear that lonesome wind moan
Then he raised his loafer, gave it a final lick, and smiled.
It seemed different, somehow, though it is easy to read so much into such little things. But that day he seemed different from the man of a million self-referential smiles, leering and mugging from the stage, the stage that was his due.
He seemed, simply, happy to be there.
The crowd, with their young voices, roared and roared.
Tragedy continued to dog those in his life, even those on its outer reaches, even those who were bound to him in name only. Lori Leigh Lewis, Jaren’s daughter, accidentally smothered her infant son to death in May 2011 when, police said, she passed out on top of the child after ingesting a dose of muscle relaxants. “It was awful,” he says. The next year, his longtime bass player, B. B. Cunningham, was killed in a shootout at the Memphis apartment complex where he worked as a security guard. Jerry Lee was not involved, but the tragedy evoked violent memories of the past, a side of him he sometimes refuses even to recall.
“I don’t believe in fightin’ and carryin’ on,” he says now. “That’s not my game. I sure don’t want to shoot nobody.” He says this within easy reach of the automatic on his bedside table and three feet from a drawer of firearms, including one that looks like it was made to fell a charging Cape buffalo. But those, he clarifies, are just there in case someone bothers him.
He was hospitalized in January and February 2012 for various old ailments, including the nagging stomach trouble and a new bout of pneumonia. On March 9, when he was seventy-six and Judith was sixty-two, they were married in a small ceremony house on the Natchez Bluff, overlooking the big river, the one that swallowed Jolson when he was a boy.
“They kind of hemmed me in,” he jokes now, pretending he was somehow bushwhacked. “What with that Baptist minister there, and all.” The wedding party sang hymns, “but it wouldn’t have been shoutin’ music,” he says, because the Baptists could not have kept up.
The vows were barely said when he struck his leg against a door facing, resulting in a compound fracture of his lower leg. Surgeons repaired the damage with thirteen screws and two metal plates. The pain and stress almost killed him.
“I went out in the parking lot and got down on my knees,” Judith says, “and said, ‘Please don’t, don’t take him away, someone I have just found in my sixties.’”
His cousin David Batey drove up from Cleveland, Tennessee, to pray with her. He told Jerry Lee what he had witnessed in the parking lot.
The leg would not heal properly. “The pain was so bad, he was out of his head,” she said.
He still refused the needles.
“It was so bad, he had to go to the wound-care center,” Judith said. The wound healed—slowly, after three more operations, but it healed.
He did not worry himself with challenges, with the distances others might set as goals: a mile, a half mile, a hundred feet. He wanted to walk across the stage to the piano stool and back, unaided.
That would be enough.
“And it seems okay now,” he says. “It’s tough. It’s hard to do. It’s like learning yourself to walk again,” as a child. “And you try to cover it up as much as you can. Walk out onstage, walk to the piano, set down, take the microphone and start doin’ your thing. And if you can do that, good. If you can’t do that, it’s best to stay home.”
Now, from his bed, he looks at Judith and shakes his head.
“Wasn’t much of a honeymoon, was it, baby?”
She is asked now why she would take such a chance on the man they called the Killer. But that man seems, if not gone, at least very well hid. They go on dates for chili dogs and like to go to a local meat-and-three for vegetables. He still eats the food he loved as a boy, and she cooks it for him.
“It’s what a man needs,” he says, “good lovin’, good cookin’.”
In the dark of his bedroom in Nesbit, Judith brings him a Coke float with vanilla ice cream.
“No Diet Coke,” he says, and takes a sip. “Real Coke.”
Somewhere in this nuptial bliss, an odd thing has happened: the faces of the women on the road have grown less distinct in his mind. It used to be that he could call them all back, or many of them, or things about them. “They run through my mind, and I wonder where she’s at now or where some other one is. . . . You can’t hang on to a ball of fire. That time is over. But it happened.”
Now, though, things have changed. “I can’t even hardly remember. . . . Well, I can remember, but it really didn’t amount to nothin’. Not as much as people think.”
He wonders if it might be time to do a new record.
“I think now’s my time to get it again. It’s now or never.”
He always liked that Jolson song, “Bye, Bye, Blackbird.”
“Been thinkin’ about doin’ that.”
He plays it through in his head.
Pack up all my cares and woe
Here I go, singin’ low
Bye, bye, blackbird
He is not worried about his hands.
He looks at them, fingers slightly splayed and crooked, the way they rest on the keys. “It don’t matter,” he likes to say, “what my head does. They know where to go.”
He had to prove so much in his time: that a piano man could lead a band, could be a straight-up star. That a country boy could play the Apollo. That a rock and roller could do big-time, mainstream country. That he was not just a crazy man who wrecked pianos, that he was just living life real loud. A dozen times, that he was not washed up, not done. Now he has to prove, again, that he’s not dead yet.
“I’m back on the spot again,” he says. “I gotta go back in the studio, and prove it all over again. I gotta come out with somethin’ different, that I’ve stored back in my membranes, back there.” In the old days, he recalls, “if somebody wrote a song and it’s pretty good, I’d listen to it and play around with it a little bit,” then leave it alone till he got to the studio to cut it. “Now, it takes time to really learn the song, and get the band into it, and the singers into it, everybody into it. It ain’t just like sittin’ down and doin’ one take. Those days are gone. But of course you can’t think in that way. You gotta think you can still do it the same way.”
That has always been the trick. If you want to do anything worth a flip, you must live in the past, at least a little bit, because that is where the magic was. That was why he was always so much more exciting live, where his mind could wander free and string together things he loved or half remembered. It was why he went back to the past again and again to find the words, the music. What is wrong with living in the past, he knew as well as anyone alive, if the past was better?
“I’ve had an interestin’ life,” he says, “haven’t I?”
He had said, at the beginning of interviews for this book, that he “had been lucky at everything, except life.” He has had some time to think about that, and he is no longer sure.
His Chihuahua, Topaz Junior, eyes the people who come and go from the room with ill intent. He eyes everyone with ill intent, except Jerry Lee, and he bites anyone who tries to remove him from his place on the soft quilt between his feet.
“But you wouldn’t bite Daddy, would you?”
Topaz Junior snuggles deeper.
“A great life,” Jerry Lee says.
He has been around so long and lived so hard that almost everyone, it seems, has a story about him, a story of seeing him live, or of a thing that happened while listening to his music, or just a thing they heard, that stuck like fishhooks in their mind all their lives. The memories flash brighter and bang louder, somehow, than others. Gail Francis will always be ninety-eight pounds soaking wet, will always be a looker, every time she hears a Jerry Lee Lewis song. Dr. Bebe Barefoot, who teaches English at the University of Alabama, will always be the young woman who was actually struck by lightning as she drove down the highway listening to “Great Balls of Fire.” When she hears his music, she thinks about the world around her charged with blue fire. There are thousands of them, tens of thousands, more, who attach a moment in their lives to his story, his songs. He believes there will be more of it. “I mean,” he says, “I can’t let ’em down.”
Late one afternoon, resting in bed, he suggests that maybe he has been foolish even to think about age. He contradicts himself a little, but then that is his prerogative. “Age never crosses my mind,” he suddenly says, and then thinks a minute. “As long as I can sing and play the way I want.”
He pauses. “‘And the audience went crazy,’” he says, quoting a piece of some long-ago review, really almost any review, any story.
He looks at his hands, again.
“Just like they always was.”
One day last winter, Judith was passing through the electronic gates of the Lewis ranch in a rainstorm when she saw, in the rain over the iron gate, what seemed to be an apparition. She described it to Jerry Lee. They think maybe it was Elvis. Not his face, not exactly, but somehow she felt it was him.
“I don’t know if I believe in all that stuff or not,” says Jerry Lee, “but I’m beginning to.”
A man who believes in angels should not be surprised by one.
“That’s what I think it was, an angel,” he says, then thinks a moment. “I don’t know what it was. Some kind of warning? ‘See what they done to me?’ Maybe he was saying to not let ’em do the same to me, and my life. I don’t know.”
Or maybe it was Elvis coming to answer that old question that haunted them both, that old question about what happens to those who sing and play this music. Maybe again, he has gone and left it unanswered.
“It’s strictly in God’s hands,” he says. “And it makes no difference what they write or what they say, or how they feel, it’s . . . right between me and God.”
He doesn’t believe he can talk his way in.
“You gotta live it. You gotta . . . believe it. But you can only believe to a certain extent. You gotta live it, too. You gotta back up what you preach.”
He would have liked to have seen this Elvis himself. He wouldn’t have been scared of him. But the apparition was gone with the clouds, and with it his answer.
Or maybe not.
If it was an angel, he has the answer now.