Chapter Three

I GLANCED around me and made my way straight to the bar. The club was busy, with people standing around or dancing in pairs or groups. Others sat together, talking and drinking. I felt completely out of my depth, and the simple acts of walking through the door and making my way to the bar made me shake with nerves. It made me realize how much of my confidence I’d lost. I used to be so happy in my own skin and certain I was being noticed by both boys and girls. Now I dreaded someone catching my eye and seeing their expression turn to annoyance or disgust.

I reached the bar and raised my voice to shout to the barman above the music. I began to order a double vodka and Coke and then remembered I was driving. I changed my mind and settled for half a pint of Carling instead. I could make it last, and if I wanted to stay longer, I could get another half pint later.

There was a vacant bar stool close to me, and I sat on it while I sipped the lager. The bass beat from the trance music made my chest vibrate and my ears throb. It was too loud to hold much of a conversation without shouting, but maybe there wouldn’t be any need for that. I doubted anyone would come over and speak to me, and I certainly wasn’t going to approach anybody myself.

“Hey!”

I jumped and almost spilled my drink as the voice came from my right side, close to my ear. I placed my glass on the bar and turned my head. Much to my surprise, I found myself looking at Gary, the only person Colin had ever been able to call a friend. I hadn’t seen much of him, but Gary had visited us at the flat maybe half a dozen times in two years. Then in the last few weeks he’d appeared almost every day until Colin had grown sick of seeing him and told him to stop coming around. It was Gary whom Colin had meant to go fishing with on the day I left.

I eyed him warily and then peered around, praying to God that Colin wasn’t with him. Not that I’d ever known Colin to go to a gay club, or even a bar. He’d rarely gone anywhere.

“I’m on my own!” Gary shouted and gave me a smile. “I haven’t seen Colin for weeks.”

I relaxed marginally. “I’ve never been in here,” I said.

“No, I guessed that. You look really out of place. This is my favorite hangout.” Gary smiled wider. “How are you?”

“Okay.”

“Do you want another drink?”

I shook my head and indicated my glass. “I’m fine, thanks. I just bought this.”

Gary ordered a drink for himself and then turned back to me. “I’m going to sit over there. It’s not so loud.” He pointed to a far corner with alcoves for privacy. “Wanna join me?”

“Um....” I didn’t know what to say. He was looking at me kindly, and I wondered if he liked me. Colin had said the main reason he’d stopped Gary coming to see us was that he knew his friend had the hots for me. I hadn’t seen it myself. I’d looked like shit, and Colin had drummed into me that no one but him could ever want me. I’d believed it, so I’d never understood how he could assume Gary liked me.

“I don’t bite.” Gary smiled winningly. “Listen, I know Colin hurt you. He’s a piece of shit. I never took much notice at first, but he’s always had an attitude problem. I’m glad you got away.”

I swallowed and avoided his eyes. Colin was the last thing I wanted to dwell on. Being out somewhere made me remember the rare occasions I’d been out with him. He’d always watched me like a hawk whenever we passed another man, convinced I’d be eyeing him up. I’d received a few beatings over it, while he’d yelled at me for being a slut and trying to get attention from everyone I saw.

“Tommy....” Gary touched my shoulder, and I looked up again.

“Yeah. Sorry. It’s the first time I’ve been out alone in... years.” I pulled myself together and slid off the stool. Gary was nice, I told myself. He wasn’t Colin, and it seemed as if he liked me after all. That was what I wanted, wasn’t it?

We sat in the corner booth, close enough to hear each other talk, but not so close we were touching. I didn’t say a lot, but Gary talked enough for both of us. He’d never worked as long as I’d known him, and I’d thought he was like Colin—idle and uncaring, and of the opinion that the world owed him a living. But he’d been in trouble with the police for theft, and as hard as he’d tried, he hadn’t been able to get a job because of his record. Now he had one, ironically, as a security guard in a local department store.

“They were desperate,” he said. “I was the only one the agency sent them. I haven’t fucked up yet, though, and I don’t plan to. It’s cool having money.”

“Yeah, it is.” I nodded and smiled. After the bills had been paid, Colin had taken every last penny of my wages from me. Since moving back with Sarah and Shirley, I only had to pay a small amount of money for my board each week and cover my car’s running costs. The rest of my wages were for me to spend exactly as I liked. It had been amazing to buy new clothes, nice toiletries, a computer and phone, and the CD player I’d wanted for the Mini.

“Do you want to dance?” Gary asked suddenly.

I looked at the dance floor, filled with bodies gyrating against each other. Dancing was something else I hadn’t done in a long time, and I’d always loved it. I nodded, and when I rose from my seat, Gary grasped my hand to lead me into the middle of the crowd.

Gary was much taller than me—taller even than Colin. He was stocky, too, with wide shoulders, a broad chest, and a little too much girth around his middle. His brown hair, which had once been long and straggly, was cut neatly to collar length, and he was wearing a white shirt and jeans. He looked nice, and I felt good with my small hand dwarfed in his huge mitt. Someone wanted me. Someone other than Colin, who’d convinced me I was worthless and would never be able to attract anyone else. I kept telling myself to stop thinking anything Colin had said to me had been the truth.

Gary let go of my hand and pulled me closer to him. He slid his arms around my waist, and I hesitated for a second before I rested my hands on his chest. I could feel the thud of his heart under my palm and the heat of his body against mine. He smelt warm and musky, with a hint of a spicy cologne. My heart raced as I moved with him, my body swaying and gyrating without me having to think about it. I was a natural dancer, and I quickly found Gary was, too. He moved well for such a big man.

He pulled me more firmly against him and nudged a knee between my thighs. He slid one hand down to my ass and gave it a squeeze, then caressed lightly. Instantly I got hard. It was a combination of things: the feel of him, the smell of him, the way his body moved against mine, and the way he touched me. But mostly it was that this man—a man I barely knew—wanted me. I could feel his erection pushing against my thigh until he reached down and adjusted it. He maneuvered it upright in his jeans and then pressed himself harder against me. I felt his length digging into my stomach, and I suppressed a groan. He was hard for me.

The music changed from a fast beat to something slower and more sensual. Some people left the dance floor, and others joined. Gary and I stayed where we were, grinding against each other. I could feel my cock leaking into my underwear, and I panted for breath as Gary ran his hands over me. He concentrated on my ass, stroking and squeezing, dipping his fingers between my legs from behind until I worried I’d come in my pants.

“I’ve always liked you,” he said in my ear. His warm breath made me shiver. “I used to toss myself off over you. I’m so hard, I could come right now.” He pressed his fingers more firmly between my legs, and I moaned. I could feel how much he wanted me, and his words added to my excitement. I would have done anything he asked at that moment. I was exhilarated. “It’s been a long time since I was with anyone,” Gary continued. “I’m aching for it. Can we go somewhere?”

“Okay.” I didn’t hesitate. I was swept away by his apparent desire for me. He took his hand off my ass and slid it between us instead. I gasped when he cupped my erection through my jeans and gave it a squeeze. I pushed myself into his hand, and he stroked me for a moment.

“I want to suck you,” he said.

I gaped up at him. Colin had made efforts to give me pleasure in the first few months, but it had quickly become all about him. He’d made me suck him every day, his reasoning being that he wouldn’t last long if he didn’t come before we started having sex. It had been a routine—a horrible routine that I’d come to dread. I’d give him a blowjob, and an hour later he’d fuck me in a variety of positions, on and on until I was exhausted and sore. Sometimes it had been too much, and if I’d lost my erection and hadn’t come, I was punished for not appreciating his sexual prowess enough.

I realized my cock had softened when Gary took his hand off me and touched my face instead. “We don’t have to do anything. I’m sorry if I’m too pushy. I got carried away.”

“No, it’s okay. I want to. It’s just been a long time since I... um....” I shrugged and felt my face heat up.

“Well, we don’t have to rush it.” Gary smiled at me again and then backed away. “Come on. Let’s get out of here.”

I followed him to the door and felt relief as we stepped outside into relative silence. A few cars drove past, and I could still hear the faint boom of the music from inside the building, but otherwise it was peaceful.

“My car’s parked down there,” I said and pointed.

“I might just be able to squeeze in it.” Gary chuckled, and we began to walk along the street to where I’d left the Mini. “I live near here now. I share a flat with a mate, but he’s not keen on me having blokes there. Do you want to go down to the beach?”

“Yes, all right.” My heart pounded as I unlocked the car and got in. Something was going to happen with him, and I couldn’t wait.

Gary folded his large frame into the passenger seat, his head almost touching the roof and his knees in front of his chest. The traffic was light, and it took only a few minutes to drive to Bonkers’ Bank. Only one other car could be seen there, and I parked the Mini as far from it as I could. It was obvious we wouldn’t be able to do anything in the cramped space, and we got out. Faint music could be heard coming from the other car, indicating it was occupied.

Gary grabbed my hand again and led me away from the parking area. The cloudy sky obscured the moon and stars, and it was so dark I couldn’t see where I was putting my feet. I was relieved when we stopped walking, and I spotted the vague outline of sand dunes as my eyes grew accustomed to the dimness. Gary let go of my hand and slid an arm around me instead. He pulled me close and lifted his free hand to brush my long fringe out of my eyes. I tilted my head back to look up at him, and he leaned down to press his lips to mine.

He kissed me softly at first, gentle caresses that made my racing heart bang harder against my ribs and my cock swell in my jeans. Gary’s mouth was warm and soft and wet, and he tasted faintly of Jack Daniels. I melted into his arms and held onto him as he dipped his tongue into my mouth, tentatively at first and then more urgently. He slid his hand down to my ass and pulled me closer so I could feel his erection. I groaned as he pressed it against me and gyrated his hips to gain friction. The sound I made seemed to spur him on, and he kissed me harder, crushing my lips against my teeth as he strained to thrust his tongue deeper into my mouth.

Gary drew back suddenly, and I breathed out hard and then gasped in a lungful of air. I looked down as I felt his hands tugging at my clothes. He slid one hand under my shirt and stroked his warm palm over my chest and stomach. He stopped to unfasten my shirt, and then his fingers reached the waistband of my jeans. He fumbled with my fly, and I moaned again as his knuckles brushed my cock. He hummed in appreciation, his mouth close to my ear.

“Fuck, Tommy, I want you.” Gary’s voice was husky with desire, and the sound, along with the feel of his hand stroking me through my underwear, aroused me further. My cock throbbed under his hand, and I felt the wet patch around the head grow larger. I whimpered, hoping I wouldn’t disgrace myself by coming before he even got me out of my briefs.

I was relieved when he removed his hand and took a step away from me. I took a deep breath to collect myself. Gary lowered himself to his knees in front of me, and I looked down at his bowed head, still surprised he seemed so keen to give me pleasure. He gripped the sides of my jeans and pulled them down to my knees, taking my underwear with them. My erection slapped against my belly, and the tip left a wet smear on my skin.

Gary leaned closer, and I felt his tongue swipe up my length from balls to crown. Then he engulfed the head of my cock in his mouth and sucked. I groaned loudly and bit off the sound, worried I would be overheard. We seemed to be alone, but you could never tell in the area where we were. I gasped for breath and struggled to control myself, but I knew I wouldn’t last long. Gary wrapped one large hand around the base of my cock and pumped it while he sucked on the head. I heard the clink of a belt buckle and then the sound of unzipping, and when his moan made his mouth vibrate around me, I realized he was wanking with his free hand.

“Oh, God. I’m not gonna last long,” I whispered.

Gary made a muffled sound around me and worked me harder with both hand and tongue. Coupled with the sound of him sucking on me, I could hear the faint slap of his hand on his own cock. I felt myself start to come. My balls drew up tight against my body, and my spine tingled. I tried to warn him and pushed at his head, but he kept hold of me and swallowed around me as my cock pulsed and emptied into his mouth.

“Fuck!” I hissed. I held onto his shoulders, needing support when my knees went weak. Gary pulled back, and my cock slipped from his mouth. He began to pant hard and doubled his efforts to finish himself off. “Do you want me to...?” I began, but I stopped when he let out a deep groan and slumped forward, his head bumping my stomach. He stayed there, breathing fast for a minute and then rose to his feet. We tucked ourselves away and adjusted our clothes in silence.

“Was that okay?” Gary asked in a whisper.

“Are you kidding?” I laughed softly. “It was amazing.”

“Next time I want to fuck you.”

“Next time?” I looked up at him and saw his eyes glinting.

“Yeah, if you want that. I’d like to... see you. You know... go out.”

I nodded. “I’d like that, too.” I was filled with excitement and my heart rate hadn’t slowed down much after I came. It was amazing to feel wanted again, especially when this man had been thinking about me for a while. The idea of him tossing himself off with my image in his head was thrilling, and what had just happened made me feel on top of the world. And it wasn’t going to stop there.

It didn’t occur to me to consider what I thought of Gary—whether he was attractive to me, or whether I could like him as a person. Nor did it seem to matter. The way he made me feel was enough.

I drove Gary back to his flat, and he kissed me goodbye in the car, took my phone number, and promised to ring me to arrange a date. I drove home with a smile on my face and my cock hard again. I was eager to get to my room and relive those few moments on the beach.

Sarah and Shirley had gone to bed, and I was relieved I could go straight to my room, but at the same time disappointed I didn’t have anyone to tell about my new boyfriend. I crept to my room so I wouldn’t disturb them and took my phone out of my pocket. I’d had it on silent mode, and I noticed I’d received a text from an unknown number. I opened it and grinned wider when I saw it was from Gary.

“Can’t wait to see you again. Tomorrow? Gary. x.”

“Me too. What time tomorrow? T. x.”

“2 p.m.? Come to mine? Flat mate will be out :)” He’d added the number of his flat after the smiley face, as if it had been an afterthought.

“I’ll be there,” I responded at once.

“Great. Goodnight. xx.”

I almost jumped up and down after the brief exchange. Instead I stripped off my clothes and climbed into bed. I put the phone on the bedside cabinet and slid both hands down my body to my cock, which was fully hard again. It had been so long since I felt like this—happy and excited. I couldn’t wait for him to fuck me.

I’d bought lube a while ago and hidden it in my sock drawer. I stroked myself with one hand and took the other off my balls to grope in the drawer and locate the bottle. I breathed hard, fumbling impatiently until I’d coated my fingers. My cock ached, and I resisted the urge to speed up and make myself come as fast as possible. I kicked the bed covers down, pulled my knees up and spread my legs. Then I closed my eyes and imagined Gary was with me, touching me with his large hands.

I circled my hole with one slick finger and pressed the tip inside. I hadn’t touched myself that way in a long time. I’d done it all the time before I met Colin. Then when I was with him, he’d often made me get myself ready for him, and in the last few months I’d started to hate it. I hadn’t wanted to do it since I’d left him, but he was a long way behind me now. After that one phone call, he could have fallen off the planet for all I knew. Thank God.

I pushed thoughts of him out of my head and conjured up Gary again. I pushed two fingers into myself, remembering his hands were huge. I breathed out and felt myself stretch around the invasion. I imagined Gary would probably take his time and make sure I enjoyed it. I explored myself slowly, sliding the two fingers in and out and stroking my shaft to the same rhythm until I was desperate to come. I bucked my hips and shoved myself through my fist. I added a third finger and imagined I was being impaled on Gary’s thick cock. If tonight was anything to go by, neither of us would last long. I pictured him braced above me, panting hard, his round belly rubbing against my erection as he slammed into me.

I came hard and painted my stomach and chest with warm fluid. I pulled my fingers out of myself and let my legs fall down onto the mattress while I gasped for breath. I lay there, weak and breathless, until my heart eventually slowed its rapid tattoo and I was capable of grabbing the box of tissues nearby to clean myself up. I pulled the covers over myself again and curled up on my side, waiting for sleep to take me. When it did, I dreamed of Gary, fucking me over the bonnet of my car.