Chapter Ten

SARAH’S WORDS haunted me for the rest of the weekend, and I began to question myself. What did I have to lose if I said something? The worst that could happen was that Marcus would let me down gently and things would be awkward between us at Jujitsu and at the car show. He’d never be unkind about it—I knew that much about him. He made it obvious how caring he was, but I hadn’t paid enough attention to the other people he trained with to see if he treated them the same way he treated me. He trained with me nine times out of ten anyway. I’d almost made up my mind to just blurt it out to him the next time I saw him, but I thought I’d probably chicken out when it came to it.

On Sunday night I took the Mini to Jujitsu, with the idea of making a quick escape if I managed to pluck up the courage to say something and then went down in flames when he said he wasn’t interested. Sarah commented on how jittery I was before we set off and teased me about being over-excited at the prospect of seeing my hero.

By the time I arrived at the club, I was more nervous than ever. I parked next to Marcus’ Mini and headed inside. Sarah and Jake hadn’t arrived yet, and I changed quickly. There were only two other men in the changing room. Marcus was already dealing with subs and chatting to a potential new member who had arrived with one of the girls. He nodded at me and smiled when I handed him my money. He was busy, and I walked off to do some warming up while I waited for things to get started.

I didn’t have Marcus to myself that night. The new boy, whose name was Jason, was working with us. Marcus explained it would be good for me to try training a novice. He gave instructions and watched as I taught Jason the breakfalls and various blocks. It took my mind off what I’d been thinking about saying, and the two hours flew by. Jason got along well, and I found him pleasant and easy to talk to. He lived on The Grange, one of the rougher parts of town, and he wanted to learn a form of defense in the hopes it would keep him out of trouble. He was chatty and eager to learn.

When he left and the rest of us went to get changed, my heart began to pound and my palms grew damp with nerves. Now I would have the opportunity to speak to Marcus alone for a few minutes, but I wasn’t sure I could go through with it. How awkward and embarrassing would it be at the car show, camping together, if I said something now and he didn’t feel the same? I lost my nerve. Jake and Sarah had gone, and I made my way to my Mini, wiping my hands on my jeans. Marcus followed and came to me as I unlocked the car. He rested his arm on the roof and leaned against the side of the car.

“Are you okay, Tommy?” he asked.

“Yes, thanks.”

“Are you sure? You seemed distracted tonight. You did great training Jason, but you were a bit distant, as if something’s on your mind.”

“I... um... it’s nothing.” I cursed myself inwardly. Why couldn’t I just say it? I might be missing out on getting exactly what I wanted.

“Tommy....” Much to my surprise, he raised his hand and brushed the tips of his fingers over my cheek, then placed his palm on my neck. I felt the heat of it on my skin, and I wondered if he could feel how fast my pulse was. I licked my lips nervously and risked meeting his eyes. They were warm and gentle, and he gave me an encouraging smile. “Tell me what you want,” he urged.

“I... uh....” I cleared my throat and swallowed. “I want you.” I said it in a whisper, and I wasn’t sure he’d even heard me. The car park was noisy with engines starting up and cars driving away. Seconds ticked by, and he didn’t say anything. But he stroked his thumb along the line of my jaw and then did something I’d longed for and imagined for weeks. He leaned in and kissed me.

I stopped breathing and my heart quickened its already rapid beat against my ribs. I let my eyelids fall and parted my lips in response as Marcus brushed his mouth over mine. The kiss was so light it was barely there. His lips slid over mine and then left, and then they were back—another gentle caress before that small gap came between us again. I couldn’t help the moan which escaped me. I opened my eyes just enough to see Marcus’ face hovering close to mine. He lifted his free hand and brushed my long fringe out of my eyes, and then he pressed his lips to mine again. We fitted together perfectly, our faces angled just enough and his crooked nose bumping against the side of mine.

I realized my hands were dangling uselessly at my sides, and I brought them up to rest on his chest. I immediately felt his heart thumping in time with mine, and I curled my fingers into his shirt. My knees were weak and my blood made its way rapidly to my groin. Marcus was kissing me—finally!

It didn’t last anywhere near long enough and there were no tongues, but it was perfect. When he let me go he shoved his hands into his pockets and grinned.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for a while,” he admitted.

“You have?” I sounded breathless. “Why didn’t you, then?”

“I thought you needed some time. And then I thought... well, I doubted you’d be interested in me.”

“I thought I was being obvious. Sarah and Jake noticed.” I chuckled. “Well, Sarah did. I doubt Jake would notice if I’d shouted it at the top of my voice in training.”

“Much like me.” Marcus laughed along with me. “So... what now?”

“That depends on you.” I wanted to ask him out on a date, but he seemed to want to take his time. He didn’t seem like the type of man who’d kiss me and then change his mind about it. He’d been thinking about it for a while, so I had no problem leaving the rest up to him. If I had to wait for anything more, I didn’t care. I was beyond delighted that he’d kissed me for thirty seconds.

“I’d like to take you out. If that’s okay. I don’t mean to a car show or some other event with half a dozen other people there. Just you and me.”

“I’d like that, too.” I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been on a real date. I’d gone out to places with some of the unsuitable characters I’d been with in the few months after Colin, but mostly we’d just gone to the pub and then fucked.

“What do you like to eat?” Marcus asked.

“Food.” I giggled, and he laughed again too. “Anything really. Chinese is probably my favorite, though.”

“There’s a really good Chinese restaurant in Brigg,” Marcus said. Brigg was fifteen or so miles from Grimsby, and although I’d been there once or twice, I’d never seen the restaurant he mentioned. “I’ll take you there. Are you free on Saturday?”

If I hadn’t been, I’d have canceled whatever I had planned. “Yes,” I answered.

“Great. I’ll pick you up at six o’clock.”

I beamed at him. I felt like a teenager being asked on a first date, and apart from my age, that was pretty close to what I was. I couldn’t wait, but at least I’d see him a couple more times before then at training.

There didn’t seem anything more to say, and we stood smiling at each other for another minute or so, before Marcus pulled himself together and said he had an early start in the morning and needed to get moving. He gave me another light kiss on the lips and then a firmer one on the cheek before he walked over to his car and got in. I stood there watching until he’d driven away, tempted to pinch myself to see if any of it was real. Eventually I set off for home, grinning to myself all the way.

Sarah was in the kitchen making a snack, and I went in to get a glass of water. She glanced up from a revolting-looking sandwich containing Marmite, cheese, and cucumber. I hated Marmite with a vengeance.

“Tommy!” she gasped, as soon as her gaze landed on my face.

“What?”

“What happened? You look like you won the lottery or something!”

“Um....” I felt my face heat up and looked down at my glass. “Nothing much.”

“Did you talk to him?”

“Who?” I went for innocence, but I knew I failed miserably. I couldn’t suppress my smile.

“Marcus, you muppet. Come on, spill. What happened?” She stared at me eagerly, wide-eyed.

“He asked me on a date. He’s taking me out for a meal next Saturday.”

“Yes!” Sarah clapped her hands together. She seemed almost as excited as I felt. “About bloody time!” she added. “Give me details.”

“No! We just... talked for a minute, and he said he’d like to take me out. That’s it.”

“Did he kiss you?”

“Shh!” I hissed as Shirley came into the room. There was no way I was going to talk about Marcus kissing me, especially not with Sarah’s mum listening. I wanted to keep that part to myself.

“Okay, spoilsport.” Sarah turned back to her sandwich, cut it in half, and took a large bite. “I’m happy for you, though,” she mumbled around the mouthful.

“Thanks. I’m going to bed.” I took my glass of water, said “goodnight” to Shirley, and headed upstairs.

I lay awake for a while, reliving the kiss over and over in my head until my cock was hard and my heart was pounding. I couldn’t help creating a scene in my head where Marcus took me back to his home. I imagined him kissing and touching me, stroking my cock through my jeans. I kicked the duvet off the bed, pushed my boxers down and gripped myself firmly. I was leaking, and my balls were tight. I doubted I would last long, which usually seemed to be the case when I thought about Marcus.

I came to the image of Marcus kissing me and using both hands to touch me—one hand around my cock and the fingers of the other thrusting deep into my body. I didn’t get as far as imagining him fucking me, but I hoped it would happen, however long it took for things to develop.

That week was one of the longest of my life. I saw Marcus at Jujitsu twice, and both times we worked with Jason. Then after most people had left, he walked me to my car and kissed me. I’d taken to driving it to every session rather than getting lifts with Sarah and Jake, to ensure I’d get those few minutes alone with Marcus. When I said goodbye to him on Thursday, I began counting off the hours until our date. My day at work on Friday dragged, and I slept poorly that night. I was so excited I couldn’t relax.

I dragged myself out of bed on Saturday morning and showered, then spent a few minutes looking through my wardrobe and deciding I had nothing suitable to wear. Most of my clothes were the smart shirts and trousers I wore for work, or jeans and T-shirts, or sweaters. I had nothing nice to wear on a date. I got dressed, went downstairs, and made coffee. I forced some toast down my neck at Sarah’s insistence, and as soon as it was late enough for the shops to be open, I set off into town. Sarah came, too, certain she could be of help to me.

I parked the Mini in the multi-storey car park in the middle of town, and we wandered around the shopping center. Sarah tucked her hand through my arm and marched me into River Island where she was sure I’d find exactly what I wanted. It had been my choice, too, and after half an hour of trying things on, I had a blue-green shirt which Sarah said emphasized the color of my eyes. I bought trousers as well, not wanting to wear jeans to a restaurant. These were dark gray, loose-fitting, and halfway between smart and casual. I parted with sixty quid without even a slight cringe, but protested when Sarah suggested I get my hair cut.

“It’s fine. I had it cut last month.”

“Yeah, but your fringe has split ends. Come on, it’s your first date with someone special. You might as well go all the way.”

I snorted at the double-meaning, and Sarah giggled and elbowed me. Ten minutes later I was sitting in front of a mirror having my hair trimmed, primped with products and blown dry. From there we went to Boots the Chemist, where Sarah chose a new lipstick for herself and then suggested in a whisper that I buy condoms.

“I’m not buying them while I’m with you. Anyway, I won’t need them,” I said. I couldn’t imagine Marcus fucking on a first date, and I was reminded of my experience on New Year’s Eve, and what that guy in the toilet had said to me. I decided that even if Marcus wanted to, I wouldn’t, as much as I might want to myself.

“You might. It’s better to have one and not need it, than need it and not—”

“Sarah, just leave it!” I interrupted sharply. “I’m not doing that, all right? Not today.”

“Okay. Sorry.” Flushing, she dropped the subject and went to pay for her lipstick. We finished the outing with coffee in Starbucks and then headed home.

I spent the afternoon in my room, listening to music, messing around on my computer, and glancing at the clock every two minutes until five o’clock came. Then I took another shower, taking care to keep my hair dry, scrubbed my teeth twice, and put on my new clothes. I wished I’d bought new socks and underwear as well, but I reminded myself Marcus wasn’t going to see them. I was half hard at the thought of him seeing them and I wished I’d taken the time to get myself off in the shower. I’d probably spend the entire evening with a hard-on, unless nerves caused it to deflate.

I had begun to feel nervous, and I worried about what we’d find to talk about. We had no trouble as friends, but a first date might be different. I wanted to be able to hold a proper conversation with him, rather than spend the evening flirting and making unsubtle innuendoes about what we could do after dinner, the way I might have in the past.

By the time Marcus came to pick me up, I was pacing anxiously around my room. I hurried downstairs, put my shoes on, and grabbed a jacket while Sarah talked to Marcus in the kitchen. I took one last glance at myself in the hall mirror before I went to join them. Sarah looked me up and down and smiled, then left us alone.

“Hi, Marcus.” He looked gorgeous. He’d had his hair cut, too—it was more closely cropped than usual. He was wearing a gray shirt, the same steely shade as his eyes, and black trousers. When I lifted my eyes back to his face, I noticed him drawing his gaze up my body as if he’d been checking me out in the same way. I grinned and blushed.

“You look good,” he said.

“Thanks. Sarah dragged me ‘round town this morning. I didn’t have anything to wear for a restaurant. I suppose I could have worn my gi, but it might have caused a bit of a stir,” I joked. Marcus chuckled.

“Nice shirt. Are you ready to go?”

“Yes.” I followed him out to his car, and we set off. Although I still felt nervous and a little worried I’d fuck up somehow, I was more relaxed than I’d expected to be, and we chatted easily as Marcus drove. He had a Kid Rock CD playing in the car, but not so loud we couldn’t talk without raising our voices. By the time we reached Brigg, the butterflies in my stomach had vanished and I was enjoying myself.

“I booked a table,” Marcus said as we walked into the building. “They get really busy on Friday and Saturday nights. The booking system is hilarious though. Wait until you see.” He led me to the desk in the foyer and waited for the elderly Chinese gentleman behind the counter to look up. “Marcus Brown. I booked a table for two, for seven o’clock. We’re a bit early.”

The gentleman looked down at the large sheet of paper on the desk, which appeared to be covered in scribbled writing and doodles. Various names were written here and there with numbers next to them. I watched in disbelief as the man eventually located the name “Brown”, scrawled in wobbly letters across the corner of the paper, with the number seven written in brackets next to it.

“Ah, yes. Here you are!” he exclaimed triumphantly. “Your table is ready for you, sir. Come this way.”

Grinning in amusement, Marcus followed him, and I brought up the rear. We’d been allocated a small corner table, with a lantern containing a candle standing in the middle. When we’d taken our seats opposite each other, our host passed us two menus, which he’d gathered up from somewhere on the way to the table. Within seconds, he’d left us, and in his place was a young girl wearing a smart white blouse and a long black apron over her skirt.

“May I get you some drinks?”

“Do you like wine?” Marcus asked me.

“Yes. I haven’t had it very often, but I like dry white, or red.”

Marcus ordered a bottle of dry white wine and said he would have two small glasses as he was driving, and I could have the rest.

“Are you trying to get me drunk?” I whispered across the table.

“Never. Sarah would have my guts. I’m under strict instructions not to take advantage or mess you around,” Marcus deadpanned.

“Oh my God. What did she say?” I gasped, horrified. My face flamed at the thought of Sarah telling him how to treat me. Marcus lost his serious expression in an instant and his eyes lit up as he laughed loud enough for the closest tables of diners to turn and look at us.

“I’m pulling your leg, Tommy. She didn’t say anything except to have a good time. I wouldn’t mess you around anyway. You know that, right?”

“Yes, I know. You bugger.” I grinned and nudged his ankle under the table with my foot.

We were interrupted by the arrival of the wine. The waitress poured a small amount for Marcus to try, and when he approved it, she filled both our glasses and left the bottle in a wine bucket on a stand next to the table. I took a sip and then concentrated on my menu. I’d eaten Chinese food countless times and loved it, but I’d only ever had takeaway.

“Would you like a plate of assorted starters?” Marcus asked. “They’ll bring a bit of everything if we ask. Then maybe we could have the halibut. If you’ve never had it, you should. Do you like fish?”

“Yes, that sounds good,” I said.

“Just choose a main course then.”

“Isn’t the halibut the main course?”

“No, it’s kind of a middle course.” Marcus leaned across the table and pointed at the menu. “You can have either halibut or duck before the main. I’m having beef in black bean sauce for my main course. With egg fried rice.”

I looked at the list of mains and tried to remember what I liked best. It was a while since I’d had any of them.

“I’ll have chicken and cashew nuts,” I said eventually.

Marcus ordered when the waitress returned, and within five minutes, the platter of assorted starters arrived. The service was incredibly quick and efficient, despite the amusing method of booking. We dug into the food, and I tried a little of everything—even the seaweed.

“This is amazing,” I mumbled around a mouthful of prawn toast.

“It’s the best Chinese restaurant in Lincolnshire,” Marcus told me. “They had a big fire here once. It almost wiped them out, and they were closed for months. The insurance rebuilt the place, though, and it’s even better now than before.”

“Have you been here many times?” I envisioned him on dates with other men and felt a surprising pang of jealousy.

“Quite a few. I’ve been with my ex, Steven, and my mum used to love coming here, so it became a tradition to bring her for a meal every birthday. My dad died when I was in my teens, and she never met anyone else, so I’ve always made time for her. Except when I was with Phil.” He grimaced at the memory.

“Does your mum live in town?”

“She lived in Brigg, actually. But she passed away three years ago.”

“Oh God, I’m so sorry,” I groaned. I automatically reached across the table and laid my hand over his where it rested on the table.

“It’s okay, Tommy.” He turned his hand over and curled his fingers around mine. “She lived life to the full. The things she did, you wouldn’t believe. She did a parachute jump on her sixtieth birthday. Her doctor thought she was insane when she bullied him into giving her a medical certificate to present to the parachute club. She’s done the Three Peaks Challenge, too. I did that with her, it was unbelievable. She was tiny—only five feet tall—but she gave me a run for my money.”

“I’ve heard of the Three Peaks,” I said. “I went up Sca Fell once.” Sca Fell was England’s highest mountain, situated in my beloved Lake District.

“You do Snowden first, then Sca Fell, and then Ben Nevis last,” Marcus told me. “Mum had two friends of hers take turns at doing the driving for us so we could try and sleep a bit between climbs.”

“I wouldn’t mind trying that,” I admitted. I missed hiking in the mountains. Other than the one trip I’d made alone when I first left Colin, it was a long time since I’d been.

“Maybe we could do it together one day,” Marcus said. “I mean, if you don’t decide you’ve had enough of me after tonight.”

“I don’t think that’s going to happen.” I gave his hand a squeeze and then let go and picked up my wineglass. I was delighted by the way things were going. It was so much easier to talk to him than I’d expected, and I hadn’t missed the way he repeatedly looked at me across the table. The warmth in his eyes told me he was enjoying being with me as much as I was enjoying being with him.