Chapter Fourteen

“MARCUS!” I gasped. “What happened?”

“Come in, babe.” He pushed the door wider, but remained leaning on the wall. His face was gray and unshaven, and he was wearing a faded T-shirt and jogging bottoms. I stepped in and closed the door behind me.

Marcus turned and began to make his way slowly to the living room, leaning on the wall as if he needed the support. I moved to his side to help him, and he gripped my arm. When he reached the sofa, he lowered himself onto it and lay back with his eyes closed. I noticed a plastic bucket nearby and a couple of bottles of water on the coffee table.

“I had an accident,” he said. “I’m doing some renovations on a house. It’s a wreck and part of the chimney collapsed. A chunk of brick hit me on the head. It was lucky it wasn’t a whole one, or it would have done a lot more damage. My partner took me to the hospital.” He grimaced and closed his eyes. “I’ve got three stitches and a concussion. The docs kept me in for the last two nights. I’m sorry I didn’t let you know. My phone’s upstairs. I forgot to take it with me when I went to the job, and I’ve only been home about an hour. I haven’t made an attempt to get up the stairs yet.”

“Oh, God,” I groaned. “Shouldn’t you still be in hospital?”

“I demanded to be let out. They said I wasn’t in any danger.”

“You look really—” I broke off before I finished the sentence.

“I know I look like shit.” He grinned. “I’ll be fine. I just need some sleep. My head feels like someone’s bashing it with a hammer.”

“I was worried about you,” I admitted. “I thought... I don’t know... I thought something must have happened.”

“You thought I was avoiding you after what happened at the weekend?” He opened his eyes again and looked at me.

“I....” I hung my head in shame. How could I ever have thought that?

“It’s okay.” Marcus reached for my hand and squeezed it. “I understand. But you have nothing to worry about. I meant it when I said I love you.”

“I’m sorry. I love you, too. I’ve never had this... something this good.”

“I know.” He pressed my hand harder and then let go. “Look, I really need to sleep, and you have work. Could you just run upstairs, get my phone, and plug it in the charger over there?” He pointed to the cable trailing over the end of the cabinet the TV sat on. “Then you should get back to your office. If you want to come and see me later....”

“Of course I’ll come,” I said at once. “Do you want me to bring you anything?”

“No, just yourself.” He gave me a faint smile and closed his eyes again. I left him and went up to his room, where I found the phone on the cabinet beside the bed. I went back downstairs and plugged it in. Marcus had already fallen asleep, and I sat on the edge of the armchair nearby and watched him for a few minutes.

I wondered how I could have been so stupid. I’d tried talking myself out of my fears, but it hadn’t worked. Marcus seemed to understand me better than I understood myself. He wasn’t even upset that I’d doubted him.

I watched his chest rise and fall steadily as he slept. He was snoring softly, lips parted. One hand rested on his stomach and the other dangled off the edge of the sofa. I wished I could stay all afternoon and watch over him, but I had to get back to work. I slipped away reluctantly, hoping he would be okay alone. I doubted the hospital would have let him go home if they thought he was in any danger, but it didn’t stop me worrying he was in pain and maybe sick, while I wished away the afternoon.

When I finished work, I sent Sarah a text and went straight back to Marcus. I didn’t bother him by knocking on the door, but let myself in quietly in case he was still sleeping. I found him on the sofa in exactly the same position I’d left him. He looked relaxed and comfortable. I went to the kitchen and made myself some sandwiches, then returned to the living room and sat in silence for an hour until Marcus woke. He yawned and stretched, then opened his eyes and blinked a few times before his gaze landed on me. Then he smiled.

“Tommy. How long have you been here?”

“About an hour.”

“You should have woken me.”

“No way. You needed to sleep. How do you feel?”

“Not so bad. Headache’s less. I don’t feel sick now either.” He sat up and reached for one of the bottles of water.

“Do you need anything?” I asked. “Something to eat, or—?”

“I am a bit hungry,” Marcus admitted. “If you don’t mind, there are some tins of soup in the cupboard above the microwave. I don’t want anything too filling.”

“Coming right up.” I returned to the kitchen and sought out the soups. There were a few to choose from. I picked out chicken and mushroom, heated it in the microwave, and took out four slices of bread and some cheese from the fridge. I made some toasted sandwiches to go with the soup and found a tray to place everything on.

Marcus beamed at me when I took it to him. I sat beside him while he ate, and then we watched TV for a while. Marcus lay down again and pulled me into his arms. I lay with my back to his chest, watching crappy soap operas until Marcus’ arm grew heavier around me and his breathing deepened. He was asleep again, and I carefully wriggled away from him. I switched the TV off and picked up a book from the coffee table. Marcus liked to read, and this one was The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown. I’d wanted to see the film when it was out a couple of years ago, but it didn’t appeal to Colin, so of course I hadn’t been allowed to see it—not even on DVD. I opened the book and began to read.

The book gripped me from the first few pages, and I was still engrossed in it a couple of hours later when Marcus opened his eyes and stretched.

“Shit, I’m sorry, Tommy,” he groaned. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep again.”

“It’s okay. The more you sleep, the sooner you’ll be better.” I put the book down. “Can I borrow this when you’ve finished reading it?”

“You can borrow it now. I’ve read it. I was going to start it again because I haven’t had the chance to buy any new ones lately.”

“Okay, thanks.” I made a mental note to go to Waterstones the next day and buy a new book for Marcus. I doubted he’d be working for the rest of the week. I stayed another hour and then reluctantly left him to go home. I wanted to stay, but I was still in my work clothes, and I’d need fresh ones for the next day. Marcus got up and walked me to the door.

“I’m sorry I’ve been such lousy company,” he said as we cuddled each other in the hallway. “But thanks for staying with me.”

“You could never be lousy company. You’re lucky you didn’t do any worse damage to yourself.” I nuzzled his neck and hugged him tighter. “I’ll make you some dinner tomorrow.”

Marcus pushed me away a few inches so he could look at my face. “You’re spoiling me.” He pressed his lips gently to mine. “And I love it. I love you. Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me.” I kissed him back. “I’d do anything for you.”

As I drove home, I realized I really would do anything for him, and not in an effort to gain approval or attention—just because I loved him. It was a wonderful feeling.

I took a change of clothes with me when I left for work the next day. I sent Marcus a text to check he was okay, and he replied to tell me he’d gone to bed and slept for ten hours. He felt much better and was looking forward to seeing me later.

I went to the book shop at lunch time and picked up Outbreak by Chris Ryan. Then I went to the supermarket and bought ingredients to make spaghetti bolognaise. By the time the afternoon came to an end, I was impatient to get away from work and see Marcus. I’d had a text from him while I was out shopping, telling me he was watching daytime TV, which I imagined bored him rigid.

When I parked on Marcus’ drive behind his Mini, he opened the door and waited for me to reach him. He looked much better. His face was its usual color, and the thick dressing had been replaced with a thin square of Elastoplast. I grabbed the bags of things I’d brought with me, and he looked at them curiously.

“Are you moving in?”

I wish. I hoped I hadn’t said it out loud, and I lowered my head to hide my blush as I explained I’d brought other clothes to change into and food. I gave Marcus the small Waterstones bag and held my breath as he opened it. I hated buying gifts for people. Well, I’d hated buying them for Colin. He’d always criticized my choices—always.

“Thanks so much!” Marcus exclaimed as he looked at the book cover. “I’ve only read a couple of his, and there are loads. At least I won’t have to watch Loose Women or reruns of Who Wants to be a Millionaire tomorrow. Thank you.” He slid his hand around my neck and pulled me close for a kiss. “I’ve been thinking about you all day.”

“Me too. I mean, about you.”

I went upstairs to change out of my work clothes and then started cooking the spaghetti. Marcus hovered in the kitchen, and when I had the meat sauce simmering, he moved in close behind me and slid his arms around my waist. He caressed the back of my neck with his lips and rubbed against me until I felt him grow hard.

“There’s clearly not much wrong with you anymore,” I teased.

Marcus slid his hand lower and cupped my growing erection through my jeans. “I want you so much. What we did the other day... made me want more.” He continued to stroke me, and I hardened fully. I trembled in his arms, and he loosened his hold, then turned me to face him and touched my cheek. “We don’t have to. Not yet.”

“No, I want to.” I longed to be in his bed, in his arms, with his beautiful cock inside me, but I still couldn’t shake the feeling I’d had a few months ago. I was scared I’d ruin things.

“Tell me what you’re thinking.” Marcus traced the shape of my cheekbone with one finger and then slid it under my chin to make me look up at him.

“I just... I don’t....” I groaned and closed my eyes. “The last time I had sex....”

“I know,” Marcus said softly. “But this isn’t like that, or any of the other times. Look at me.”

I opened my eyes again reluctantly and saw only love in his. I relaxed a little and held onto him. I knew I was being ridiculous, but I couldn’t seem to help it.

“Tommy, I’ve told you this before. I’ve been in your shoes in the past. I know what it feels like. But this is different, isn’t it? I love you. I don’t want to fuck you, make you feel used and then walk away. I want to make love with you and hold you in my arms as we fall asleep. You’re scared it’ll spoil what we have. Aren’t you?”

“Yeah, I suppose.”

“This is a big deal for me too, you know. I don’t see us as being temporary. Sex is just the next step, but it doesn’t have to be yet. Just think about it, and let me know what you want. Okay? Either way, I want you with me every minute I can.”

“You’re amazing.” I smiled again at last. “How do you know exactly what to say, and exactly what I’m thinking?”

“I suppose I just know how it feels to be where you are.” Marcus grinned and pointed behind me. “Sauce is burning.”

“Shit!” I spun away from him and stirred quickly. No harm was done, and I turned the heat off and put the pan aside. Marcus left me to serve up the spaghetti and sauce and the slices of garlic bread I had crisping in the oven. We ate at the dining table, the awkward moment forgotten.

We spent the rest of the evening snuggling together on the couch, and I left reluctantly at ten o’clock with a promise to return after work the next day and make another meal for us. Marcus seemed happy to let me do things for him, and I planned to make a chicken curry next time. I was thankful I’d learned to cook and that had mostly been down to Shirley. She’d taught me kitchen basics after my dad kicked me out and I’d hastily learned more in an effort to impress Colin—not that it had worked very often.

By Saturday, Marcus was better. His headache was gone, and he didn’t need to wear a plaster over his cut anymore. The three black stitches were surrounded by an evil-looking bruise, but there was no swelling, and he told me he felt fine. In the morning we went to the supermarket to stock up on some food items, and Marcus told me it was his turn to cook a meal for me that evening.

In the afternoon we went out to a local pub for a couple of drinks, and as we walked back to the house, Marcus asked me if I’d stay the night with him.

“I want you all to myself this weekend,” he said.

“I’d love to stay.”

“Why don’t you go home and get a change of clothes while I start cooking?” he suggested. “You could bring your gi as well. You’ve missed two training sessions, and you’re supposed to be grading on Tuesday. Last chance to practice.”

“Shit, I’d forgotten.”

Marcus went into the house when we got back, but I set off straight away and went home to get my things. I was so excited about staying the night with him again I had to check my bag three times to make sure I had everything I needed. I packed a full change of clothes for Sunday, my gi, toiletries, and after much hesitation, lube and condoms. I’d bought condoms a few days ago. Even though I wasn’t sure whether we’d have sex, I knew I was ready, and although I expected Marcus to be prepared, it was just like the line Sarah had quoted from Alien v Predator—”It’s better to have one and not need it, than need it and not have one.”

When I entered Marcus’ house, I found him in the kitchen chopping and slicing vegetables. A large wok sat on one of the gas rings, waiting to be used, and it was clear he planned to make some kind of stir-fry.

“I thought we’d have our own homemade Chinese,” he said. “Do you like prawns?”

“I love them. I’ll go and dump my stuff upstairs.” I left him to it, and by the time I got back to the kitchen, he’d started frying onions, peppers, carrots, and sugar snap peas, and the scent of garlic and ginger filled the room. I watched as he added the prawns to the pan and sprinkled on Chinese five-spice and chili flakes. Rice noodles and soy sauce came next, and it was ready in minutes.

After we ate and I’d washed up, we sprawled on the couch in each other’s arms and watched TV for a while. It was only a matter of time before Marcus guided my lips to his and gave me a heated and urgent kiss—something we hadn’t shared all week. I grew hard instantly, and when I turned to face him properly and pressed my body against his, I felt he was as aroused as I was. I moaned and rolled my hips, nudging our erections together through our clothes. Marcus broke the kiss with a groan and opened his eyes to meet mine.

“Tommy....”

I held my breath as he pushed me away from him a little, his hand on my hip. I thought he was going to tell me he didn’t want to do anything, or that he still didn’t feel up to it.

“Yes?” I prompted.

“Will you come to bed with me?”

“Yes,” I said again, an answer this time rather than a question. I pulled out of his hold and sat up. He got to his feet and caught my hand in his as we walked out of the room together. He didn’t let go of me as we climbed the stairs to his bedroom, and I knew this was it—the moment I’d been waiting for. We were going to have sex for the first time.