Chapter 16: Lya

He’d let me go.

Cade had cut me loose, fed me lunch, and let me go.

No bites. No promises or oaths required. Just complete and utter dejection and disappointment.

I couldn’t believe it, and yet here I was, back in my apartment, blood untouched, life intact. My shoulders still hurt like a bitch and my wrists were raw from the ropes, but he’d let me take back all my weapons, which would have been a major pain in the ass to replace. I almost wished he’d drained me. At least then I wouldn’t have to live with feeling like the shittiest person on the planet or the gut-wrenching fear of having to face both Farand and Callista tomorrow.

What the fuck was I going to say, let alone do? I’d been rude to Farand this morning, so certain that one way or another I was getting out.

The one thing I did know was that I owed Cade more of an apology than I’d left him with. Something that would be expressed in action, not just words. But what could I offer him to make this right, other than blood?

Then it hit me like a sunrise: his sire and master. I could offer to hunt that asshole instead.

The idea rumbled around in my head while I put everything away, showered, and paid some bills. It’d be dangerous as hell but no less dangerous than what I’d already agreed to do for Callista. Cade had demonstrated that quite clearly.

I made mental notes of what I knew, not daring to write anything down. The sire’s name was Morris. He’d been captain on Cade’s ship, and to survive however many centuries as a vampire at sea meant he was a real brutal badass. But Cade had also burned him nearly to death. Close enough that he’d thought Morris was dead. That’d take ages to recover from without drinking from a full-blood Othersider every day, and he wouldn’t have the strength to catch one or enough spare blood in him to turn a human and grow a new crop of fledglings.

I could take him. If Cade would accept my help.

I got a few more things done and cooked dinner while I waited for the sun to set. I had no idea if Cade would have gone back to bed or moved to a safer location, but waiting for nightfall would be polite. At least, that’s what I told myself—that it was courtesy, not a hot blend of shame and fear that had me putting it off.

At sunset, I bit my lip and pulled up his number, tempted just to send a text. But this was big and dangerous in a way that had nothing to do with the hunt and everything to do with defying Callista and the so-called natural order of things. Resolutely, I stabbed my thumb down on the call button.

When it rang a bunch of times, I almost hung up.

But then Cade answered. “I wasn’t expecting to hear from you again.”

I flinched at the faint hint of accusation in his tone. “I owe you.”

“I already told you—”

“Look, just let me do this, okay? I like you, Cade. I like you a hell of a lot, and I shouldn’t because I know how it ends when I start to give a shit about someone. But I do, and I want to make shit right with you.” I snapped my mouth shut at what I’d just admitted to myself as much as to him.

I did like him. This wasn’t just about justice and honor and striking back against abusive fucks. It was because I genuinely liked him. I refused to say love. I’d only known the man for a few days. But we had an undeniable connection.

One I’d fucked up, maybe unforgivably so.

“Cade?” I said after a moment.

“What did you have in mind?” His neutral tone promised nothing.

But hope flared in my heart. “I kill Morris.”

Silence. Then, “Excuse me?”

“We assume it’s Morris who put the bounty on you, right? You said he’s been following you around. So he has to be in town somewhere.”

“He is. He’s in Raleigh. I tracked him to City Cemetery, but I don’t know that he’s staying there. Lya, if killing him was an option, I’d have done it.”

“Oh.” I deflated a little. “Why isn’t it an option?”

“The Détente?”

“That just says we can’t get caught doing it by the mundanes. He’ll have a lair or something, right?”

“He will, but I’m still not agreeing to this. He threatened you.”

That sparked rage in me. “He what?”

“He must have been watching the night you came back to mine. He wants you. Not just your blood. He wants to hurt you. Like he did me. To get at me.” Guilt tinged Cade’s voice and under it, anger.

I paced the room in a fury. “That makes it personal. I didn’t do shit to him.”

“I know but…” He sighed. “But nothing. This is my fault. I got careless. Stayed in Raleigh too long. Lya, I don’t want to see you harmed.”

“I’m a bounty hunter. It’s in the job description, and either way, I’m within my rights to defend myself. But I am asking that you let me fix things between us. An apology isn’t enough.”

“Why?”

I frowned. “Why what?”

“Why do you want to fix things? Why this way?”

“I told you. I like you.”

“Like as in…”

“I don’t know. Care.” I hugged myself with my free arm as a spike of anxiety jabbed through my core then rushed to blurt out the rest. “I enjoyed our date. I like how I feel when I’m in your arms. Not just the sex. The after too. I want to see where this could go if we’re not playing games.”

“Oh.” The note of surprised pleasure in that one little word eased me. “In that case, I’m coming with you. We’ll hunt Morris together.”

I started to tell him no, that this was my debt, and then stopped. The two of us would go round and round on debts and payments until the sun came up. Besides, I’d never hunted with a partner. It could be fun. At the very least, it’d be safer than trying to hunt a vamp as old as Morris had to be alone.

I did try to learn from past mistakes. Usually.

“Deal,” I said. “Callista said yesterday there was an extra hundred grand tacked on for the job to be done in three days. That gives us two more days before she’ll expect an update from me.”

“Yesterday. After I saw him. He’s scared. The old bastard is scared of me.” Cade’s grim satisfaction set my heart racing, and his dark chuckle sent it pacing even faster. “Good. Give me tonight to track him down.”

“Okay.” I couldn’t help a silly grin, and I didn’t even scold myself for it.

“Thank you for this, Lya. I’ll be in touch. Take care of yourself until then. Don’t let your cousins get under your skin, okay?”

I’d almost forgotten telling him about that. “Yeah. I’ll try. Low profile.”

“Exactly.”

“Bye, Cade.”

He said goodbye and hung up, leaving me with flutters of more than anticipation. If we could pull this off, we might both be able to free ourselves from our pasts. He wouldn’t have the shade of his old master hanging over him. I could finally let go of what’d happened in Lyon and focus on making a new life here in the Triangle, rather than floating on the edge of Otherside society, feeling like a resentful, unwanted ghost. I’d still have to hold to the terms of my exile agreement, but maybe it’d be more palatable if I didn’t feel quite so alone.

For the first time in ages, the prospect of the future excited me.

 

***

 

That excitement warped to dread the next morning. I literally kept my head down when I walked through the door of the agency, moving a little slower than usual in an effort to make it look like I really had been sick. Half-elves didn’t get sick very often, but when we did, everyone knew it was bad. It had to be a pretty nasty virus to overcome the elven antibodies that protected us from most human diseases.

“Look who it is,” Farand said in a faux-sweet voice, tossing brown bangs out of his face. “Our favorite halfling, back from her vacation. Feeling better?”

I gritted my teeth at the slur. Be smart. Be. Smart. “Well enough.”

“Sure you don’t need to take another day? I know how frail you low-bloods are.” He sneered. “So much for hybrid vigor.”

Heat raced through me, and I clenched my fists. Kept walking. Dropped my bag on my desk and started sorting through the paperwork stacked on it. There was no way all this had come in just yesterday.

This was more punishment—work Farand or the other elves in the office didn’t want. Drudgery or shit that was just complicated. They acted like I was here to clean up after them when I had the highest success rate in the office for bringing people in and the lowest error rate on paperwork. I’d always excelled because it hadn’t been an option not to, and instead of celebrating me for it, they heaped more on my back and told me to carry it even further.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, looking for calm.

It snapped when Farand said, “Hey, halfling bitch. Answer your betters when they speak to you.”

Someone gasped. Even they couldn’t believe the lack of decorum and the outright hostility. The others had all looked away over the last few months as Farand’s “hazing” had continued long past any reasonable time and clearly showed itself as unmitigated rancor. Not that I’d ever expected them to speak up for the one half-elf in the office. That would have required courage. That would have required decency. And honor. And so many things they either lacked or were happy to sacrifice in order to keep the peace and maintain a status quo that kept elves comfortable and everyone else secondary.

Enough. I’d had enough and more than enough. My skin prickled as I wrestled down my small talent with Aether. Going head to head with him magically would be a mistake.

But words? I could use those.

“Goddess damn you, Farand.” I couldn’t keep the bitter snarl out of my words, even though I knew I’d pay for them. “Damn you and damn your House. I didn’t ask for any of this. I didn’t even do anything wrong, and yet all of you see fit to judge me.”

I glared around the rest of the office so they’d know I was as sick of their silence as I was of Farand’s voice. They were as guilty as he was because they let him think the treatment I’d received was okay.

“You all think you’re better than me, and you know what? You’re not. You never will be. That’s why you’re stuck here in this shitty little bail bond agency instead of working for the Darkwatch or as a political asset. Me? I could go anywhere. But you’re stuck, and you’re nobody, worse than me, because at least I was never expected to be anything other than a low-blooded mistake.” My tirade left me panting and trembling with righteous anger. Everything I’d ever wanted to say to him for every little slight had come pouring out like pus from a lanced abscess.

In the ugly twist of Farand’s mouth, the jut of his jaw, and the dangerous narrowing of his hazel eyes, I could see it was going to cost me.

“Are you done?” His words were a barely-there whisper. “Because you need to be. Before I have to remind you that some mistakes can be corrected.”

The way he smiled then sent chills down my spine, like I’d just given him exactly what he was looking for. I tried to replay exactly what I’d said and couldn’t, having been too hot in the moment to have any sense or calculation.

But I couldn’t back down now. I wouldn’t. I was done groveling and apologizing for doing nothing other than existing. I was done being considered less-than when I was greater than the sum of my heritage. With just scraping by on the limited dregs of the opportunities they saw fit to give me.

Bail bond runner? Fuck that. I could be an independent bounty hunter, a real one, on my own merit. I’d had my own independent gig in London. Callista’s offer showed me I could have the same here. Working for Farand was just part of the punishment I’d been dealt.

I was done taking punishment I hadn’t earned.

When I didn’t answer him, Farand said, “Get out. Don’t bother coming in tomorrow. You’d better pray that Callista takes you in because I’ll see to it that the new terms of your exile have you shoveling pig shit in the boonies otherwise.”

My guts clenched tighter than my jaw as I fought not to make this worse for myself.

I’d been right. But I hadn’t been smart.

And now I definitely needed to get shit sorted out with Cade, Morris, and Callista, or I was more fucked than ever.

I grabbed my bag and backed up slowly, hands out to my sides, my attention not leaving Farand as I made my way out. I didn’t quite run to my car, but I felt no shame in walking fast.