“LOOK AT THIS FABRIC, MERRY. THE GIRLS would look wonderful in this dark pink.”
Merry looked doubtful. “It would be great for trim, Darvi, but the twins need a dark background or they never look clean.”
Darvi nodded but couldn’t honestly say she understood. As a child she was not allowed to get dirty until she came for her annual summer visit to Austin. Her family had a yard in St. Louis, but it was all very trimmed and proper. She could pick flowers, but her fingers were not to touch the dirt. For a moment Darvi wondered how she had survived.
“What are you thinking about?” Merry asked, interrupting her thoughts.
“Just now I was asking myself how my mother and uncle could be so different and still have the same parents.”
Merry suddenly looked intense and said, “You’ve never talked much about your mother. How is she different from Marty Bracewell?”
Darvi looked pained. “It would take less time to tell you how they’re the same.” She shook her head a little. “My mother must have known Uncle Marty let me run wild during those visits. I learned to ride and shoot. I came back with a tan, scratched up my arms and legs, and probably had a little dirt behind my ears, but she never said a word. She just plopped me into the tub, proclaiming that travel made one ‘so dusty,’ and put me back into my routine.”
“And from then on you were expected to be a little lady once again,” Merry guessed.
Darvi smiled wryly. “That about sums it up. I would sit in my proper little dress and shoes and long to be back climbing trees with you. Merry!” Darvi exclaimed with a sudden thought. “Will there be trees in heaven?”
“I’m not sure. I have a memory of reading something in Scripture about that, but I couldn’t tell you where.”
Darvi’s eyes sparkled with delight. “I love all these things I’ve yet to learn.”
Merry’s eyes widened with surprise. “Most people feel just the opposite, Darv. They want to know it all right now and are frustrated that they don’t.”
Darvi gave a little sigh. “I was so smug, Merry—so settled in my own world and sure I knew who I was and where I was going. No matter how much I don’t know right now, I do know one thing: I’ll keep searching and being in wonder, but I won’t ever forget that God’s Son died for me, and someday I’ll live forever with Him.”
“I have all I can do not to hug you and burst into tears all over again.”
Darvi smiled. “I don’t mind. I’d probably join you, but I have a better idea. Let me take you to lunch.”
“Lunch? Is it that late?”
“No, but we forgot to eat breakfast, and I’m hungry.”
Merry, feeling she were walking on a cloud, tucked her arm into Darvi’s and said, “I’ll lead the way.”
“Did I mention how I met your uncle?” Dakota asked between bites of the fried egg, bacon, baked bread, and hot coffee that Calder had prepared.
“No, I don’t think you did.”
“I first met him when I went to his office about the wound in my side, but then I visited this church and he was there with his family. They invited me to lunch.”
As Dakota was hoping, Calder took immediate interest.
“What did you think of the church?”
“I liked it. I didn’t have a Bible at the time, so it was somewhat hard to follow along, but I’ve thought a lot about what both the pastor and your uncle said.”
“So you discussed the sermon with Marc?”
Dakota answered by way of explaining what the sermon had been about and why it had been confusing. To his relief, Calder seemed to understand completely.
“I’ve had some of those same questions. Were you settled with Marc’s answers, or do you still have questions?”
“I have questions, but not about the sermon,” Dakota said, realizing as he did so that he was not very comfortable admitting this.
“About what?”
Dakota answered with his eyes on his plate. “Prayer.”
Calder could see that he would need to go easy. He simply said, “If I can help, I’d be glad to.”
“Thank you.”
The men went on eating, Calder almost absentmindedly assisting the girls before asking Dakota a general question. The men talked easily about their jobs, neither showing outward appearances of stress.
When do I let things ride, and when do I push a little? It was a question Calder wrestled with all through the conversation. The meal ended, and Dakota even helped him clean the kitchen, but the subject of Dakota’s questions on prayer did not come up again.
How do I really know You hear me when I pray? Dakota asked the Lord not long after the meal. I know what Slater and Desmond have said, and at first I felt that You heard me, but right now I’m not so sure.
Dakota stood at the window in his room, barely keeping himself from pacing. Things had not gone as he had hoped. He had wanted to ask Calder where this doubt was coming from and where the answer could be found, but Calder had the girls to handle, and Dakota also knew the women would be back at any time, since the doctor had only half the day at home.
“I can’t believe You would save me like You did and then hide from me,” Dakota now whispered toward the glass, his heart aching to be heard and to know he wasn’t alone. “If You’re listening, God, I need some answers. I need to know that this is real.” Tears clogged Dakota’s throat, and he didn’t try to keep praying, not even in his heart. He didn’t believe it was right to throw a challenge at God’s feet, but he couldn’t think of anything else to do or say. If only he knew where to look in the Bible for answers.
A noise coming from the kitchen beyond his closed door drew his attention. It sounded as though the women were back. The trained gentleman in him immediately sensed they might need help unloading the wagon. Glad to leave his tortured thoughts behind, Dakota went to investigate.
Dakota couldn’t have said where Thursday went, but Friday arrived in a flurry of activity. He’d been up and dressed only a short time when he heard Darvi’s and Merry’s voices in the kitchen. The little girls chimed in from time to time, but the moving of chairs and other activity made it sound as if spring cleaning had arrived on September 1. Dakota stepped out to find just that. All the curtains were off the windows, and Darvi was elbow-deep in a sudsy tub, a tub of rinse water at her side.
“Good morning,” Merry greeted him, setting a plate of food on the table. “How about some breakfast?”
“Thank you,” Dakota replied, trying not to stare at the chaos around him.
“Sorry about the mess. I made the mistake of saying that I never got to my spring cleaning. Now Darvi’s on a mission.”
Dakota sat down to a high stack of griddle cakes, bacon, and hot coffee, a smile on his face.
“Trust me when I tell you that this is a feast, and washing or no washing, this beats where I usually eat.”
“Where do you usually eat?” Darvi asked in genuine interest.
“On the trail. The first three things the Rangers want to know is whether you can ride, shoot, and cook.”
“It’s Koda!” one of the twins suddenly declared from the doorway, charging in to climb onto the chair next to his.
“All right, let me see,” Dakota ordered before looking at her eye. “Ah, no scar. This must be Pilar.”
That little girl smiled at him in pleasure and then settled in to watch him eat. Dakota talked to her some, but she would have occasional bouts of shyness and not answer. The scene changed entirely when Vivian showed up. The second twin looked surprised to be left out of the pleasure of watching Dakota, and with a little frown at her sister, Vivian pushed into the chair next to her in order to glue her eyes on their guest.
“What are you two doing?” their mother finally turned from the dishes she was washing to ask.
“Watching Koda.”
This stopped Merry entirely. “What did you say, Pilar?”
The little girl had no idea what she was referring to, so she just looked at her. Merry tried Dakota.
“What did she call you?”
“Koda.”
Merry’s mouth dropped open in an unfeminine way, her head shaking in bewilderment.
“It doesn’t matter,” Dakota assured her. “I don’t mind in the least.”
“Girls,” she began anyway, “I want you to call Mr. Rawlings by his name.”
Their little heads bobbed just before Vivian turned to speak to him.
“Koda?”
“Yes, Vivian.”
Merry’s mouth was opening to scold her when Darvi’s laughter rang out.
“Darvi! Do not laugh at this.”
“I can’t help it! They’re so sincere.”
Merry saw that she was right and gave up. It was not the way she wanted the girls to address adults, but she decided against fighting this particular battle.
Having finished his breakfast, Dakota suddenly stood and spoke. “Here, Darvi, let me get that.”
“Oh, thank you.”
Dakota took the heavy basket of wet curtains from her hands, thanked Merry for breakfast, and followed Darvi outside. He half-expected the girls to follow but soon found himself alone with Darvi at the clothesline. She plucked fabric from the basket, pegging the curtains carefully in the sun, Dakota moving with her.
“Dakota?” she said softly after a few minutes.
“Yeah?”
“Did you mean it when you said your time is your own right now?”
“Yes, I did.”
Darvi looked at him before going back to work.
“Is it going to interfere with any of your plans if we stay until Monday?”
“Not in the least.”
“Do you mean that?” Darvi turned to him with such hope on her face that Dakota was amazed.
“Certainly. We can stay longer if you like.”
“I would like to,” she said as she went back to the clothes basket, “but I think company can get old very fast. I don’t want to wear out my welcome, but I do want to stay through the weekend. It’s rather important to me.”
“That’s fine. Do you mind my asking why you want to stay?”
Darvi hesitated. This was so new to her, and she was sure if he asked her any difficult questions, she would make a complete mess of things. However, the man beside her was waiting. Seeing no help for it, she admitted, “I want to go to church with Calder and Merry.”
Darvi had all she could do to keep her mouth shut when Dakota said, “I’ll join you if you don’t mind.”
Dakota saw the surprise in her eyes, but the twins came looking for them just then and neither one had time to say another word. Less than an hour later Dakota left for town. Darvi didn’t wait five minutes before telling Merry what he had said.
Calder knotted his tie on Sunday morning, not quite able to grasp the last few days. He couldn’t think of the last time he’d been so busy. Merry and the girls were having the time of their lives with their guests, but Calder had delivered four babies, wrapped broken bones, patched split heads, and all this among his other duties. He was starting to think the people of Stillwater were on some type of mission, one that would let them visit their doctor on a regular basis. Calder thought he would be ill as well if they kept it up, and all of this knowing that Darvi and Dakota were leaving the next day.
Dakota had even come into town and stopped at Calder’s office, but he’d been with a patient and had two more waiting. The big Ranger had not looked put out, but Calder had been frustrated by it all.
There was a time when I begged You for a successful practice, Lord, and now I’m complaining. Please help me to enjoy the time I have with these folks and leave the rest to You.
“Papa?” a little voice called from outside the door.
“Come in.”
Calder listened to his daughter try before he stepped over and opened the door.
“Mama says eat.”
“Okay, Viv. I’ll be right down.”
Vivian waited for him, and when they both gained the kitchen, Calder was pleased to see that neither Darvi nor Dakota had come in yet. He didn’t want to miss any more time with them. In less than five minutes everyone was gathered, and they sat down as a group. Calder prayed, and to his amazement, Dakota had a question as soon as he was finished.
“Do you ever worry that God isn’t hearing you, Calder?”
“I haven’t for a long time, but I used to.”
“What changed for you?”
“Something my father said. He asked me if God’s Word was true or not. It forced me to evaluate what I believe, and the truth is, I believe every word of the Bible. With that in mind, I looked at the different people who were devoted to prayer, including Jesus Christ. I know I can follow their lead.”
“Where did you find those examples in the Bible?”
“I have some verses written in the front of my Bible that might help. Would you like me to copy them for you?”
“I would, thank you.”
“Have you spent much time reading the Bible, Mr. Rawlings?” Merry asked.
“Just recently I have. I’m afraid that not all of it makes sense to me.”
“I don’t think anyone would claim to understand all of it,” Merry added with a smile. “If he did, I’m not sure I would believe him.”
Darvi was careful not to look at Merry, but she was nearly falling into her plate to listen to this exchange. Realizing she was staring at Dakota, she forced herself to eat. From there the time simply sped away. Everyone was barely finished when Merry said they were running late, and before Darvi knew it, she was sitting in church, the Scott family to the left of her and Dakota on their other side.
Some of the songs were familiar, but the sermon was something she’d never heard before or even considered. The pastor told them, with verses to support it, that God had not only saved man, but saved him with a plan. God had good works for His children to do, and His will was evident on every page of the Bible.
Darvi was still thinking about the sermon when she walked absentmindedly out the church door. She had told Merry she wanted a moment alone at the wagon. She was nearly half a block down the boardwalk when a male voice stopped her.
“Well, hello.”
Pulled from her musings, Darvi turned to find two men leaning against the side of a building, both dressed in denim, clean shirts, hats, and boots. There was nothing disreputable about them; indeed, they were clean-shaven and well pressed, but Darvi thought it rude to address her without an introduction. Her chin went into the air, but they only smiled, pushed away from the wall, and started to move toward her.
“Been to church, have you?”
“You, sir,” she began, but stopped before starting the set-down she was ready to give him, not certain her old tactics were a good idea.
“Sir?” The man who was fairer-haired spoke again. “Did you call me sir? Oh, I like that.”
“And I’d like it if you’d move on and leave the lady alone.”
Neither man looked particularly guilty or intimidated by the large, dark man who appeared behind the woman, his entire face visible above her head, but neither did they want to tangle with him. Pretty as the woman was, the dark, intense eyes of the man who shadowed her were a little more than they bargained for.
Watching them walk away, Darvi stood very still. She could tell she was shaking a little and wasn’t up to facing Dakota. He didn’t know this. Only a moment passed before he stepped around and faced her. Darvi made herself look up.
“Are you all right?”
“I think so,” she said with more bravado than she felt.
“What did they want?”
“I don’t know.”
“But they wouldn’t move on when you told them to.”
“I didn’t tell them to move on.”
Dakota’s brows rose on this. “Why is that?”
Darvi’s face filled with frustration before she answered. “I don’t know! I’m a different person now, Dakota, and I don’t think I’m supposed to talk to people that way.”
Dakota’s eyes narrowed, his own temper rising.
“Let me get this straight. You didn’t want to hurt their feelings?”
Darvi scowled at him but didn’t answer. Seeing the upset and confusion in her eyes, Dakota softened. He spoke quietly, his voice compassionate.
“Unless I miss my guess, Darvi, you and I have had a recent change in our lives.”
The strawberry blonde nodded.
“If yours is anything like mine, right now you don’t know which way is up.”
“That about explains it. It’s been wonderful,” she was swift to add, “but I’m so unsure about so many things.”
Dakota saw that Calder was headed their way. He gave him a quick wave and turned Darvi back toward the church. As he hoped, Calder only waved back and turned himself, giving them a moment alone.
“No matter what changes have occurred, Darvi, God wants us to keep using our heads. I refuse to believe that there’s some verse in Scripture that says once you accept Christ, you have to let men accost you.”
“No, I don’t suppose it does say that, but my tongue’s been getting me into trouble for a long time.”
“Nevertheless, you know what appropriate attention is and what it is not. If you wanted those men out of your face, you had every right to tell them.”
“But I was angry, and I didn’t want to blast them with my temper.”
“That’s wise of you, but you can still tell someone, quite firmly, I might add, that you don’t wish to speak to him.”
Darvi stopped and looked up at him.
“I’m not going to argue with you, but I’m going to have to think on that.”
“That’s fair enough,” Dakota agreed. “What did you think of the sermon?”
Darvi sighed. “Wow.”
“I know what you mean.”
“I just never thought about God having a plan for us. Did you?”
“Not personally, no. My parents taught my brothers and me to believe there was a God, but it’s only recently that I considered the fact that God has thoughts of me or that He would want a relationship with me. It’s a little more than I can take sometimes.”
Darvi was still framing a reply when Calder pulled up with the wagon. The whole family was already on board, and the girls tried to climb onto both of them the moment they were seated. Darvi ended up holding the Bibles, and Dakota took both girls on his lap.
“Koda?”
“Yes?”
But that was all Pilar wanted to say. She laid her head against him, and Dakota held her close. Vivian spent the whole ride looking up into his face but didn’t care to talk either. The girls gave him such a longing for Laura Peterson, his brother’s young sister-in-law, that Dakota determined to visit Slater right away. He was thinking about how he could do this when Darvi shifted beside him, and he was reminded of his present job. Working not to let his emotions take over but not quite making it, Dakota’s thoughts were very determined.
I’ll get Darvi off safely, and then I’ll make my way home. I’ll visit Cash for a while and then go see Slater and Liberty. If Brace doesn’t want me back by then, I’ll go back to the ranch for good!
“Are you going to be all right?” Dakota asked Darvi once they had left the house. She hadn’t cried when they had said goodbye, but her face was so set that Dakota knew she was in agony. The fact that she didn’t answer him also told him she was just hanging on.
Not in a hurry this time, they rode easily. Dakota was very rested, and Darvi had not wanted to leave. Neither did she want to talk, at least not for some miles. Indeed, it was midmorning—they were long out of Stillwater—before she broke the silence.
“Weren’t those little girls cute?” she asked quietly.
“Oh, yes,” Dakota replied with a smile. “I fell in love the first moment I saw them.”
“They liked you too.”
“I hope so.”
“Merry told me,” Darvi assured him. “She said Vivian and Pilar are usually more comfortable with women. I guess their father owns their hearts, but with you they made an exception.”
Dakota smiled. “They weren’t very vocal, but they sure liked to look at me.”
Darvi smiled as well and turned to stare at him.
“What?” Dakota wished to know.
“I’m just trying to see you through their eyes.”
Dakota good-naturedly shook his head. “Well, tell me when you figure it out.”
With that the two were content to ride in silence for a time. Darvi looked completely at ease, like a child who’s well taken care of, and that must have been because she was well looked after. Dakota was constantly on the alert. He was mentally thinking about the roads that would take them to Aurora and also where they could lunch, as well as finding a suitable place to set up camp before dark.
Dakota had stocked up on provisions, so he wasn’t worried, but when the sun was right over their heads, he decided to mention to her that they were not going to make any sort of town that night.
Upon this announcement, Darvi pulled her mount to a stop.
“We’re not going back through Blake where we stayed before?”
“Not if we’re headed to Aurora so you can catch the train. Blake would be out of the way.”
Her hat shaded her face quite nicely, but she still put her hand up to the brim and looked around them.
“Where will we spend the night?”
“There’s an oak grove about five hours from here. It’s off the road, but there’s a large stand of trees, and the stream there is deep and fast flowing. I think we’ll be in good shape if we can make that.”
“Then we’ll be in Aurora tomorrow night?”
“Probably not, but if you want to ride hard, we can try.”
Darvi thanked him for the information and heeled her horse back into motion; indeed, she even picked up the pace some. At the same time, her mind gave her heart a short lecture.
You had to see Merry. You couldn’t live another day until you saw Merry. Would you have been quite so eager, Darvi, if you had known you were going to be sleeping on the ground? Darvi rode on without even trying to answer.