“WHAT IF HE’S RIGHT?” CHARLES ASKED Virginia after they had retired.
Dakota’s mother turned from the bottle of lotion she had been reaching for and stared at her husband.
“About what?”
“About facing God. Can I honestly say I’m ready?”
“Of course you’re ready, Charles. You’re a good person. What more can God want?”
He stared at his wife. Had she not heard what Dakota had said? Had he misunderstood?
“Charles?” Virginia ventured, her voice so tentative that the senior Rawlings wondered what his face looked like.
“I’m going to go ask Dakota something. I’ll be right back.”
Virginia was stunned. What had he been thinking? Her brow furrowed with deliberation. She didn’t like the children coming home and upsetting things. If Dakota left chaos in his wake, it would put such a damper on his visit. Confrontation was the last thing she wanted.
Down the hallway Charles’ thoughts were far different. His heart almost in dread over some of the things his son had said, he knocked on Dakota’s door, working to remember what Cash and Slater had shared as well. Dakota answered before anything came to mind.
“Are you going to church tomorrow?” Charles asked without preamble.
Dakota nodded. “I was going to go early in the morning and get a note to Darvi to see if I could attend church with her.”
“What about your mother’s and my church?”
“In truth, Dad, I don’t know anything about it, but because you don’t agree with my beliefs, I’m assuming there won’t be anything there for me.”
“And what do you hope Darvi’s church will have?”
“Some type of message and challenge from God’s Word. Something I can learn from and put into practice in my life.”
“And that’s all part of not being afraid to die?”
“My peace about death does not come from a sermon I might hear, but from knowing that I have a relationship with Christ. However, salvation is only the beginning. There’s a whole life to be lived, and I won’t know how to live it without study in the Word.”
The older Rawlings studied his boy’s face, their eyes meeting and holding.
“I’ll go with you! Your mother too!”
Dakota blinked. “All right,” he said slowly. “But I’m not sure what Darvi will say. I mean, I haven’t checked with her.”
“What if,” Charles began, his pride rubbing him a bit, “it turns out she goes to our church, and the preacher explains it just like you did?”
“Then I’ll wonder how you could have been missing it all these years,” Dakota replied before he thought.
Charles wasn’t happy with this disrespectful statement, and his eyes communicated that with ease.
“I’m sorry, sir. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“No, you shouldn’t have, but it’s what you believe, isn’t it?”
Dakota dropped his eyes before admitting, “Yes, sir.”
Charles didn’t like the shame he felt over the way he’d gained the upper hand. It was true that he had taught his boys to respect him, but he had come knocking on Dakota’s door, not the other way around.
“It’s all right,” he said quietly. “Sleep well, Dakota.”
“Thank you. Goodnight.”
Charles made his way back down the hall, unaware of the way Dakota stood and watched him retreat into the darkness. He gained his own room, where Virginia still had a light on, and floored her with his announcement.
“We’re going to church with Darvi and Dakota in the morning.”
“What church?”
“I don’t know yet, but we’re going.”
Her mouth opened a little. “You don’t mean that.”
“I do mean it.”
“Charles, what will our neighbors who go to our church say?”
“I don’t care.”
Virginia knew very well how true that statement was. Charles Rawlings Sr. never did anything because someone thought he should. She watched him settle into bed, not at all comfortable with his plan. The lantern was still on, so Charles caught her gaze on him when he turned on his side. Virginia dropped her eyes and reached for the lamp, but his hand stopped her.
“Ginny,” he said quietly, “he’s got me to thinking.”
“About what?”
“I’m not a kid anymore.”
“You’re not old, either.”
“Neither was Ben down at the bank, and he dropped without warning.”
“So that’s what this is all about,” she said in a mothering tone. “You’ve just realized you’re not going to live forever.”
“Exactly.”
Virginia had not expected him to agree. She had even used a tone with him that usually angered him.
“All right, Charles.” She gave in more out of confusion than anything else. “I’ll go with you.”
Charles had not thought anything else. Virginia went nearly everywhere with him. But her answer gave him pause. Would he go if she refused? It took some time before Charles fell asleep, but even then he wasn’t sure he would go without her.
“I’m sorry to call at your back door at such an early hour,” Dakota said to the woman at the Wingates’ kitchen door. “I didn’t want to disturb anyone, but could you please get this note to Miss Wingate as soon as possible?”
“I will, sir. Is there anything else?”
“No, thank you.”
That was how the morning had started. Dakota had awakened early and gone swiftly to Darvi’s, hoping she would get the note as he directed, and she did. Just an hour later a return note arrived from her, telling Dakota what church she attended and that if he liked, she would come for him at ten o’clock. One more message from Dakota established that his parents would be along and also offered to include her in their carriage.
Now, Dakota, Charles, and Virginia rode in silence to the Wingate home. Virginia was tense, her mind filled with uncertainty over this outing. Charles seemed so certain, and Dakota was calm, his expression relaxed, but she felt completely out of her element.
It helped to have Darvi join their group. That young woman began a conversation with her the moment she took a seat, and Virginia actually relaxed a little before they arrived at the church.
“I want you to meet a friend of mine,” Darvi continued to talk as they walked up the steps, the younger woman having taken the older woman’s arm. “Her name is Mrs. Beacher, and she’s such a dear. In fact, she lives just a few blocks from you.”
“Martha Beacher?”
“Yes!”
“We’ve known each other for years. She goes to your church?”
Darvi smiled. “This is her church. She was the one who introduced me.”
Virginia relaxed a little more. Martha Beacher was a wonderful woman, always kind and ready to lend a hand. Up to that moment Virginia had not known what to expect, but suddenly she wasn’t worried, at least not about meeting the people. However, the sermon, or whatever the service entailed, still had her somewhat concerned.
“Can you tell what your parents thought?” Darvi asked Dakota as they walked in the garden behind the house.
“Not exactly.” His voice was deep and soft. “I think my father understood, but I’m not sure what Mother was thinking.”
“How is it that they wanted to come?”
“My father decided. I’m not sure he gave Mother much choice.”
“Does she do everything he says?”
Dakota smiled. “What do you think?”
Darvi smiled back. “I think the Rawlings men are used to getting what they want.”
Dakota looked very innocent. “I can’t imagine what you’re talking about.”
“Of course you can’t.” Darvi’s voice was indulgent. “You always ask me and give me lots of choices. You never tell me to do anything.”
Dakota worked at not smiling. “Regarding what?”
“‘By the way, Darvi, we’re not going to make the next town. Would you like to camp here for the night?’” she began to tease him. “‘Darvi, you’ve been through a lot. Would you like to lie down and rest awhile?’” Her brows rose in a way that told him she was very pleased with herself just then. “You’re used to giving orders, Dakota Rawlings, and I suspect your father is the same way.”
“You little pill,” Dakota growled playfully and began to reach for her. Darvi darted away from him and around a bush.
“Did I hit a little close to home, Mr. Rawlings?”
Dakota told himself not to laugh as he came around the bush toward her. Darvi evaded him nicely and slipped across the paved path around an arbor. She peeked through and watched him approach. She was about to dart off again, but he stopped. Bending just a little to watch his face, Darvi waited.
“I just thought of something,” he admitted, his eyes on hers. “I can’t really do anything if I catch you.”
Darvi’s smile grew rather wide, her expression downright smug.
“On second thought…” Dakota reconsidered and started forward again.
Virginia chose that moment to call from the kitchen door, telling them she was serving coffee and cake in the living room.
“We’re coming,” Darvi took advantage and answered, her eyes gleaming with amusement as she sauntered triumphantly up the path.
“You’re an impudent piece of baggage, Miss Wingate,” Dakota growled close to her ear as he drew up beside her. Darvi smiled for a moment but suddenly stopped and turned worried eyes up to his. Her brow lowering in concern, she studied him a moment.
“You knew I was teasing just now, didn’t you, Dakota? I mean, you do know how much I appreciate everything you’ve done, all your care and such?”
Dakota’s finger swept through the soft tendrils of hair that refused to stay off of her forehead, pleased when her brow softened a little.
“Yes,” he said softly. “I do know that you’re thankful. You’ve told me in dozens of ways.”
Darvi’s head tipped to the side in a way Dakota found irresistible.
“What kinds of ways?”
In a flash Dakota was back on the roadside, having rescued Darvi from Cassy’s ranch. He had stopped to check on her and soon found her sobbing in his arms. Never had he felt so needed.
“Let’s just say,” Dakota began, working to dispel the image, “in your own special way you’ve made it very clear.”
Darvi studied him. “Will I ever get a straight answer to that question?”
Dakota could feel himself falling, his heart squeezing and filling all at the same time as he looked into eyes that held such trust and honesty.
“I hope so” was all he was willing to say just then, and Darvi understood. She smiled a little and nodded.
They walked on to the house, Dakota doing all he could not to place an arm around her slim waist. He hadn’t been glad to see Brandon at the house a few weeks back, but he couldn’t say he blamed the man for trying.
“Have you been at church this whole time?” Clarisse Wingate spoke rather primly the moment Darvi walked in the door. It was almost two o’clock.
“No, the Rawlings asked me to lunch, and I accepted. I didn’t think you’d mind.”
“And does my minding mean anything to you these days?”
“Of course it does, Mother. I thought you enjoyed the Rawlingses and approved of them.”
Her mother sniffed, not wanting to admit that her daughter was right. Another tact was needed.
“You’ve certainly transferred your affections swiftly enough.”
“Swiftly?”
“Yes, swiftly! You just broke off with Brandon a few weeks ago.”
Still managing to keep her voice kind, Darvi said, “I broke up with Brandon early this summer, but no one would listen to me.”
Her mother shook her head. “I don’t know you anymore.”
Darvi felt cut to the quick but stayed quiet. Why her mother would want the “old Darvi” back was unimaginable. The old Darvi pouted if she didn’t get her way. The old Darvi was never happy, constantly wanting more things, parties, or excitement. The new Darvi was very glad to be rid of her.
“Did I see Mr. and Mrs. Rawlings in the carriage earlier?” her mother asked next, working hard to sound as though she didn’t care.
“Yes.”
“Does Mrs. Rawlings go to that church?”
“She did this morning.”
Her mother’s face was so stiff it looked as though it might crack.
“May I tell you something, Mother?”
Clarisse Wingate nodded but looked no less unyielding. “Our ancestors are so important to you, but I can’t remember half of them. I’m your only child. If I don’t remember, who will?”
“You could make more of an effort.”
“I suppose I could, but even you have forgotten some of them, and when that happened, I finally understood that we do not carry on through our ancestors.”
Her mother’s face went from stony to livid.
“How can you say such a thing? Why, you were named after your dearly departed Uncle Darwin and Uncle Virgil!”
Clarisse stomped away at that point, leaving the foyer area and retreating to her small sitting room on the south side of the house. It was her sanctuary, her leave-me-alone spot, but Darvi did not take the usual hint. She followed right behind.
“Please, Mother. Please discuss it with me.”
“I will not! I’ve never heard such nonsense. You’re going against everything we’ve ever taught you.”
But her mother did turn to her, and even though her eyes did nothing but accuse, Darvi tried again.
“I have so much I want to share with you and Father, so much in my heart. But it seems to me that you only want to look good on the outside, not take time to see inside to the real person.”
“You will not speak to me in such a way!”
The words were all but shouted, and Darvi retreated in defeat. Her face a mask of pain, she uttered her final words. “Uncle Marty told me I could live with him anytime I needed. I leave Wednesday for Aurora. I think I’ll just go on to Austin from there.”
Darvi waited for her mother to ask her not to go, to order her or demand that she come right home, but nothing was forthcoming. Feeling as though her insides were breaking into little pieces, Darvi took her pain over this rejection to her room, where fighting tears of horrible pain and confusion, she began to sort through her things and pack.
“I want you to do me a favor,” Virginia said to Dakota the moment he came home from returning Darvi. Setting her book aside, she turned a little to face him squarely.
“All right,” Dakota said as he sat down, watching his father put his paper aside and figuring that he was in the dark as well.
“When do you leave?”
“Tuesday or Wednesday.”
Virginia nodded. “I want you to write me a letter.” Dakota forced a dozen questions to stay inside.
“You can write it now and leave it here for me, or you can write it after you leave and mail it.”
Dakota only looked at her; Charles did the same.
“In the letter, I would like you to explain to me what that man was talking about this morning. What does he mean when he says we have to be born again?”
“May I ask you a question?” Dakota put in before she could go on.
Virginia gave a brief nod.
“Why can’t we talk about this face-to-face?”
Virginia looked away and kept her eyes averted while she answered.
“I haven’t told anyone how much it bothers me that all of you boys have something with your grandmother that I don’t have. And now your father is interested, and I’m going to be left all alone.”
“I would never leave you all alone,” Charles said quietly.
“Not physically—I know that—but this is bigger than our living together, Charles. You must see that.”
“Yes, I do,” he admitted out loud because she was still not looking at either one of them.
“But why a letter, Mother?” Dakota persisted.
“Because I need time to think. I feel rattled when you start to talk of this, and I want to panic and run.” She finally turned to him, and Dakota was shocked to see tears in her eyes. She managed to speak, but her voice was filled with self-deprecation. “Wouldn’t the women in town be amazed to find the invincible Virginia Rawlings all shook up over her son’s religious convictions?”
“I’m not sure I agree with you there, Mother. If you were to get any of them alone to talk about their own mortality, I think you might see something different. Maybe all the parties and committees are a way of covering their own fears.”
“But you and that pastor honestly think I deserve to go to hell, don’t you?”
“I deserved to go to hell,” Dakota countered. “Why God saved me from that I’ll never know, but that’s what He did, and I know He’s waiting to do the same for anyone who will call on Him.”
Virginia’s heart lightened within her. She had felt so helplessly condemned, but Dakota’s tone had been understanding and humble. And she did want to comprehend, but it was frightening to her as well. At the same time, he had made it sound as though there was hope.
“So you’ll write the letter?”
“Absolutely. I’ll leave it in my room.”
Virginia wanted to cry in earnest then. He was so much like his father: used to taking charge but sensitive with those he loved. She didn’t know why she’d expected the worst, but she had.
Stifling a yawn, Virginia suddenly felt very weary. Not getting her son’s wrath or scorn was so relieving that all she wanted to do was sleep.
Having been married to her for 30 years, Charles detected the signs. She had yet to look at him, which told him she was either embarrassed or still felt betrayed, but even in profile he watched her lids grow heavy over the pages of the book she had reopened. Before long she was trying to read with her head laid back, finally giving up and placing the book in her lap. Moments later her eyes were closed.
Father and son were on their own, but neither spoke. Dakota had questions but sensed they should wait. His father hadn’t looked his way before going back to the newspaper, but Dakota had watched the way he’d studied his wife. It came to him without warning, and he was not sure his parents were aware of the fact, but Dakota saw for the first time that God had certainly blessed their marriage.
Dakota didn’t join his parents in reading or napping just then. He was too busy wondering how he’d never seen this before. Not moving an inch from the living room, Dakota talked the whole thing out with God and determined to ask Cash the next time he saw him whether God blessed those who wanted nothing to do with Him. Dakota thought He must, but that wasn’t good enough. The Texas Ranger wanted verses to prove it.
“How are you today?” Dakota asked quietly as he and Darvi walked from her front door on Monday evening.
“I’m fine,” she said quietly.
“Was your mother a little cool just now,” he asked before getting to the carriage, “or did I imagine things?”
“Frozen better describes her,” Darvi said so quietly that Dakota let it drop. He had asked her to join him for dinner and knew that this conversation would wait for the restaurant.
They rode in silence; Dakota at the reins, Darvi beside him. Thinking as they moved along that Dakota was one of the most restful persons she’d ever known, Darvi felt not the slightest anxiety whenever she was with him. If he looked at her a certain way, her heart would pound and her pulse race, and his nearness affected her no small amount, but never did she know danger or fear. It was an amazing thing.
Sitting beside her, having already pulled the carriage over to the curb in front of the Grayson Hotel, Dakota studied Darvi’s profile and waited. He smiled just studying that captivating mouth and little-girl-turned-up nose. She was in a far-off place right now, but the half-smitten Ranger saw no reason to disturb her. Not even the horse’s shifting brought her attention around, and Dakota waited several minutes in silence. When he saw her noticing where they were, he just waited for her eyes to swing to his. Darvi smiled as soon as they met.
“We’re here,” she grinned a little.
“Yes.”
“How long?”
“I didn’t keep track.”
“But we didn’t just get here, did we?”
“No.”
For a few seconds they just watched each other.
Dakota’s heart felt a little fuller every time he was with her. Darvi’s was doing the same.
Dakota climbed down at last, moved to her side, and assisted Darvi to the walk. Offering his arm to her, he said, “May I escort you to dinner, Miss Wingate?”
“Yes, please,” she said.
Dakota led her inside. It was going to be a wonderful evening.