The moment he bit out the words, Zac regretted them. Still smarting from Kat’s continued need to push him away, snapping at her had been an instinctive reaction, but also a mean one. She might not want him as he wanted her, but he thought she did at least like him, and wasn’t finding this any easier than he was.
The call from Helena had blindsided him though, and he simply couldn’t cope with Kat’s concern right now. It would take all of his focus, all of his strength just to keep it together until he could make it into the four walls of Mandy’s room, shut the door, and phone Helena back to get the full, gut wrenching picture. After that …
He drew in a sharp breath and let his head fall back against the headrest. One step at a time.
At least his being a sod to Kat had, for once, shut her up. Knowing he’d upset her gnawed at his insides, but he was incapable of even the most banal conversation right now.
‘Would you like me to heat up the corned beef hash?’ she asked with cool politeness as they walked into the house.
‘No … thanks.’ The thought of eating made his stomach churn. ‘I need to make a call.’
Very aware of her eyes on him, he dashed up the stairs and into the room he’d temporarily commandeered.
‘Helena.’
He sounded breathless and didn’t know whether it was from the flight of stairs, or the fear currently clawing at his insides.
‘Zac, dear, I’m so sorry to be the bearer of such awful news. The liaison officer was trying to reach you, but I told them I would pass the information on.’
‘It’s okay, what did they say?’
‘He’s going to be released early. They couldn’t give a date yet, all they could say was his release had been approved.’
Fuck.
He sunk into the bed, weighed down by a wave of hopelessness. His carefully crafted life was about to get smashed wide open.
‘We don’t know what his frame of mind will be,’ Helena said softly. ‘He’s been in prison for nearly twenty years. It’s bound to have changed him. He probably won’t even want to look for you.’
‘Perhaps.’ But the thought that he might, had plagued Zac for years. Hell, when he’d started receiving the notes, signed in pink lipstick, for God’s sake, his paranoia had been so acute, his first thought had been that the bastard was somehow behind them.
‘Even if he does want to search you out,’ Helena continued in that same calm tone, ‘twenty years has definitely changed you. You even have a different name, Zac. He won’t recognise you. With luck, he’ll live the rest of his life without troubling you.’
With luck. He wasn’t sure how much he had left in supply. His whole career was based on luck; the right place at the right time, with the right director. God knows, twenty years was a long time though. Long enough for his life to have changed beyond all recognition.
‘Darling, you need to push it to the back of your mind for now. For all we know, there’ll be a change of mind or circumstance and he won’t get released after all.’ Zac wasn’t sure she believed her own words, but he appreciated her trying. ‘Now, tell me how the filming’s going?’
‘It’s going fine,’ he answered, grateful for the change in topic. ‘We’re on track, which is a major plus.’
‘And your stalker? Are they any closer to catching her?’
He pushed himself up on the bed, shaking off the doom that had cloaked him since answering Helena’s call in the car. ‘The police have a photofit, which is a step forward.’
‘I’m sure they’ll catch her soon, though I suppose that will mean you have to say goodbye to that lovely bodyguard.’
Zac managed a small smile. ‘That wasn’t very subtle.’
‘Oh, I don’t know. I thought it was a very clever way of asking you if you have plans to see Kat when this is over.’
He raised his eyes to the ceiling, wishing it was that easy. The client–bodyguard issue would be over, but whatever else was holding Kat back – indifference, wariness, a mistaken belief that they weren’t compatible – that would still remain. ‘It’s not all in my hands.’
He heard the smile in Helena’s next words. ‘So I was right, you do like her.’
‘Yes, I like her.’ It had gone beyond like, but as the deeper feelings appeared to be all on his side, there was no point piquing Helena’s interest. ‘Tell me what you and William have been up to recently. Didn’t you go to Venice?’
***
By the time Zac made it back downstairs, only Debs was in the sitting room. Walking into the kitchen, he noticed the corned beef hash on the side, with a note giving instructions on how to heat it up.
Debs glanced up from the TV, which was currently showing a group of men and women in their twenties wearing very little and sitting around a pool, showing off the most appalling fake tans. ‘Kat’s in the study. You know, in case you wanted her for anything.’
‘Thanks.’
He needed to make peace, so after scooping a portion onto a plate and zapping it in the microwave, he grabbed a fork and carried it down the hallway towards the study. Swallowing down a quick mouthful, he knocked on the open door.
Kat, laptop in front of her, looked up from behind the desk. ‘Hi.’ She focused back on the screen. ‘Thought it was time I caught up with my emails. Well, those that aren’t trying to sell me bitcoins, or encourage me to join a sex romp with some dubious Russians. How’s the corned beef hash? Sorry it’s nothing fancy but I thought it would at least make a change from pasta.’
Shaking his head, he leant against the doorway. ‘No apology necessary. Your job description says you have to protect me, not feed me.’ He forked up another mouthful. ‘Besides, this is surprisingly tasty.’
‘Surprisingly? Well gee, thank you. Complimented and insulted in the same breath.’
The fact that she was even talking to him, never mind feeding him, told him he was a lucky bastard, and she had a very forgiving nature. ‘I wanted to apologise for my behaviour earlier, in the car.’
‘Before or after the phone call?’
Ouch. Shame rolled through him as he remembered he’d been a prick before the call, too. ‘Both.’ He swallowed another mouthful while he considered his next words. ‘The truth is, I’m not dealing with this situation well at all. The stalker, why they’re doing it, and what they want from me. Living out of a suitcase.’ He met her eyes. ‘Wanting something I can’t have.’ Inhaling a deep breath, he pushed off the doorframe. ‘But I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. Especially since you’ve just given me my first taste of corned beef hash.’
‘Apology accepted.’ Her features softened. ‘And if you need me to be a punch bag now and again, no problem. I can take it.’
‘Thank you.’ He didn’t want to hit her though, he thought despondently. He wanted to do far more pleasurable things.
‘About the phone call.’ It was typical of Kat that she brought it up rather than leaving the issue to fester. ‘Clearly there is something wrong, and while I don’t need to know what, I’d like to know if there’s anything I can do to help.’
For a split second, he thought of telling her. Thought how good it would feel to unburden himself to someone who might understand, even if it would change her view of him. But trusting her with that was a further step on the road to intimacy, and it was a road she’d made clear she didn’t want to travel with him. ‘Thank you, but I’m fine.’
He thought he saw a flicker of disappointment, but it could also have been annoyance. Or relief that she could get back to her Russian sex fests.
***
Sharing bathrooms was a tricky business. It was one of the reasons Kat and Mandy had decided to build Debs her own en suite when she’d turned eleven. That way they each had their own bathroom. Kat’s bedroom already had an en suite, and from that moment on, Mandy had been able to commandeer the main bathroom.
The bathroom that was now Zac’s.
It had been working out fine, until this morning, when Kat noticed a large pool of water on the floor of her en suite when she went to take a shower. It looked like the loo was leaking.
Deciding to use the one in Debs’s room instead, she knocked on the door, only to hear Debs turn on the shower.
Great. Waiting was a possibility, but time was ticking on, Debs was a notorious hot water hogger, and Zac, Mr Punctual, would have a fit if they didn’t leave at 7.30 a.m.
As he was always so punctual though – way beyond punctual, bordering on ludicrously early – he would surely have finished in the bathroom?
Tentatively she walked down the corridor. His room – Mandy’s room – was at the end, with the bathroom next to it on the right. All was quiet, and the bathroom door open. Thankfully she stepped inside it.
And screeched to a halt.
Zac stood at the sink, cleaning his teeth, a white towel around his hips, showcasing a neat, sexy backside. Above it, tanned, naked skin stretched across broad shoulder blades forming a triangle of masculinity that made every part of her sit up and take notice.
Their eyes caught in the mirror.
‘Crap, sorry. I didn’t realise you were in here.’
Slowly he turned, and greedily her eyes fixed on his chest. More precisely, on the drops of water that slid over the curve of his pecs, down the hard ridges of his six pack, and into the trail of brown hair arrowing beneath the towel.
A rush of heat pooled between her legs.
‘In the context of fairness, I think it’s only right that you take your shirt off, too.’
Guiltily her eyes jumped to his as a hot flush crept across her skin. ‘Sorry?’
‘I’m happy for you to stare at me,’ he pointed out mildly, ‘as long as I can do the same.’
‘Oh no, no way.’ She backed up a step, and then another. ‘I couldn’t possibly compete with all that.’
His right eyebrow shot up, and his mouth curved, just a little. When she checked out his eyes, they sparkled with silent laughter. ‘I beg to disagree.’ He placed his toothbrush back in the holder and leant against the sink, arms folded across his chest. Biceps bulging. ‘Though really there’s only one way to find out.’
‘I’ve got a leak. In my en suite.’ She seemed to have difficulty talking.
‘Oh dear.’ His eyes tracked around the bathroom. ‘You’re welcome to share.’
She swallowed, but the saliva had disappeared from her mouth. ‘Share, no. Use, when you’ve finished, yes.’
‘Oh, you don’t have to worry on my account.’ He turned again to face the mirror, his eyes finding hers in the reflection. ‘I’d rather share than be late.’
‘Of course you would,’ she muttered, throwing her towel onto the side of the bath. ‘Shout when you’ve finished.’
‘Oh, I’m done.’ But he remained where he was. A bulk of pure, rippling manhood.
‘You don’t seriously expect me to have a shower while you’re still in here, do you?’
He gave her another small smile in the mirror before bending to splash water on his face. ‘Expect, no.’ Dragging a hand towel from the rail, he dried himself. ‘Hope?’ This time he grinned right into her eyes. ‘A man can always hope. I’ll see you at 7.30 by the front door. Don’t be late.’
‘I wouldn’t dream of it.’
When he’d left, she sagged against the door. There was no doubt what her top priority was today. Finding a blasted plumber.