RAND WAS gone when I woke up in the morning, but there was a note under my cell phone telling me why. The ranch needed him, but he would see me that evening for the rehearsal dinner. Until then, I was to miss him and not be too mad about my neck. The last part of the note made no sense until I passed the mirror in the bathroom.
“Oh… shit,” I groaned, leaning forward, looking at all the deep purple marks on my collarbone and the sides of my neck. There was one right at the base of my throat, but it was small, barely noticeable. Between my bruised eye and the hickeys, I looked like somebody beat me up.
After I showered and changed, I put on a dress shirt and left only the top button undone. I looked like I was ready to go to a business meeting instead of downstairs for breakfast.
“What’s with the shirt?” Charlotte asked as I took a seat beside her.
“I’m running out of clothes,” I lied, smiling at her.
“You didn’t pack enough clothes?” she asked skeptically. “You didn’t… you?”
“Yeah,” I snapped at her. “I miscalculated.”
Her eyes, a darker version of the ones her brother had, narrowed.
If for any reason I flinched, she had me. She knew me too well for me to be able to hide things from her.
“What?”
“I dunno, something’s weird… different.”
“Just hurry up and eat,” I ordered her. “We’ve gotta go pick up the dress, and I’ve gotta check the wedding programs, and—”
“The programs are here. Nick and Clarissa picked them up.”
“Where are they?”
She got up and brought me back the huge box, and the second I removed the lid, I saw a problem. It turned out to be only one of many, the least of which was that my name was not Stephanie.
“Who proofed these?” I asked her softly, slowly, my eyes lifting from the program to her face. “It wasn’t you, was it?”
“No,” she answered warily. “Why?”
I turned it around so she could see that her wedding was still more than a month away. I was surprised that all the glasses in the room held up to the scream instead of shattering right there on the spot.
“What’s wrong?” Ben yelled as he came flying in from the kitchen with Nick behind him. He looked like he was ready to kill someone.
But it was impossible to understand Charlotte between the sobbing and intermittent shrieking. The wedding was making her crazy.
“Jesus,” he yelled at her a few minutes later, finally understanding what she was crying about. “Could you save that particular bloodcurdling scream for when you’re being murdered? Christ, Charlotte, you scared the shit outta me!”
The wailing continued as she collapsed into my lap, wrapping her arms around my neck, sobbing into my shoulder.
“Tell me where there’s a printing place around here,” I said to Ben, standing up with his fiancée clinging to me like a vine.
“Sure,” he said, his eyes wild, concerned about the bride-to-be’s state of mind.
“Now,” I said flatly.
At which point he finally understood the magnitude of her breakdown.
Calming Charlotte took time, but once I got my laptop, she and I sat down and redesigned the program, and I e-mailed it over to the local copy shop, she was once again able to breathe. The glasses of white wine helped a lot, as did the amazing job the seamstress had done updating the dress. It was not Vera Wang, but neither was it the horror it had first been. The lace had been shortened to the bodice, and without the scary beaded sleeves, it fit like a mermaid gown, and her silhouette was stunning. My friend would be radiant, the train long enough to be elegant but still short enough to dance in, and the veil was enchanting. I was certain that there would never be a more beautiful bride.
In my room later, I tossed her a small, black velvet box.
“What’s this?”
“It isn’t a ring,” I teased her.
“Well no.” She giggled. “I didn’t think it was.”
“Open it.”
“Stefan Joss, what did you… oh my God.” She caught her breath when she lifted the lid.
Between the bridesmaids and her mother and mother-in-law to be, Charlotte had the old, borrowed, and blue all taken care of. They were missing the new, but I had supplied that.
“Oh Stef.” Her bottom lip quivered as she stared down at the diamond earrings. At a carat each, it was not a small gift. But she was the only woman in my life, the only family I had, my touchstone, and my dearest friend. She deserved a medal for putting up with me.
“It’s you who deserves the hazard pay,” she said as she put the earrings on, finally releasing me after long minutes to screw on the backs.
“Happy?” I asked her.
“I’m never going to take them off.”
“Good.” I smiled at her, turning back to face the armoire, trying to figure out what else I could wear to hide the purple blotches on my neck. Rand Holloway was a dead man when I saw him.
THE AFTERNOON rehearsal was crazy. One of the groomsmen was AWOL, Reverend Ellis could not wrap his brain around Charlotte having a Man-of-Honor, and everyone was stunned at the very revealing dress that Ben’s mother showed up in. It plunged in the front, and it plunged in the back, and I was simply speechless. The groom was mortified.
“Aw, c’mon, that’s probably why they’re still married,” Nick consoled his best friend. “’Cause your mom still fires up your dad’s engine, if you know what I mean.”
Ben’s stunned expression as he looked over at Charlotte and me made me snort out the water I was drinking. The bride just sounded like she was gagging.
“This is what I’ve been telling you.” She smacked her fiancé in the back of the head. “The man’s a pig.”
“Stef,” he whimpered.
“Char,” I said, trying not to laugh.
She made the disgusted noise again.
“So, how are we all getting out to the ranch?” Tina asked as she arrived at my side.
I wasn’t sure who she was talking to.
“Stef?”
I turned my head slowly to look at Charlotte.
“Hi.” She smiled widely, looking guilty as hell.
“What’s going on?”
“Well.” Her voice went way up high, squeaking like it did when she was really nervous.
“Aren’t we going out to Rand’s for the rehearsal dinner?” Nick asked, confused.
Ben waggled his eyebrows at me. “Oh yeah, buddy—we’re both in hell.”
I scowled at Charlotte.
“Your face is gonna freeze like that.”
“I’m not staying out there,” I said so she wouldn’t know it was all I wanted.
“You have to,” she moaned. “I think it’s in the best friend contract.”
Ben could not contain his cackling laughter.
We ended up in a ten-car caravan driving out to the Red Diamond Ranch, and even though my stomach was full of butterflies, I made sure that my tradition with my best friend was observed. The second we got into the Mustang convertible that Ben had given Charlotte when they got engaged, I plugged in my iPod, and we got “Cruisin’” cranked up as loud as it would go.
“Aww,” Tina gushed from the backseat. “How cute are they?”
“Adorable,” Ben groused from behind Charlotte.
“You’re just jealous because her boyfriend is so hot,” Kristin taunted the groom.
“Not one person in this car is sane,” he assured us all.
But he ended up singing along with us under the hot Texas sun as we went through an hour’s worth of oldies.
The closer I got to the ranch, the more nervous I got. What if Rand ignored me when I got there? What if he had invited a woman to be his date? What if he was kind and warm but wanted me to stay only because of Charlotte? He would be engaging and charming, and then, at the end of the night, retire alone to his bedroom, allowing Charlotte and me our time together, our last night as Will & Grace.
“Oh, lighten up.” Charlotte cuffed my arm as I took the first turn off the highway, and the down the driveway that would eventually lead to an enormous Folk Victorian house.
“Oh, look at this.” Tina was in awe as she got out of the car. “There’s a huge porch and a swing…. Is this where you grew up, Char?”
“Yes, it is.” Charlotte inhaled the scent of wildflowers, grass, and freshly cut wood, just like I did. For whatever reason, the ranch always smelled good, everything mixed together on the breeze. “Don’t you just love it?”
“I do,” Kristin chimed in. “I love it. The huge porch and the swing and… oh….”
It was the long, drawn-out oh, said with such absolute, breathless wonder, that caught my attention. As the other cars began to roll up around us, parking wherever they stopped, I watched, along with everyone else, as Rand rode toward us. He was doing it on purpose, and I didn’t appreciate it.
“Wha… ha… oh,” Kristen gurgled out beside me, one long string of vowels emanating from her mouth, which she seemed unable to close.
“Oh my.” Tina caught her breath.
“Holy shit, I almost forgot,” Alison whispered fast.
“What?” Charlotte asked her.
“That your brother is a cowboy, and a damn fine sexy one at that.”
“Are those chaps?”
“Dear God in heaven, the man is beautiful.”
There was no argument to be made; the man was absolute fantasy material come to life. Up on his horse, riding in from the range, he was as close to heaven as most of us were ever going to get. As he dismounted, my eyes mapped every line of his massive frame. He looked amazing in the boot-cut jeans that hugged his long, muscular legs and ass, the brown leather chaps, and the weathered cowboy boots. The belt buckle was huge and drew your eyes to his groin, and between the flannel shirt, the white T-shirt peeking out from the open collar, and the cowboy hat, he was mouthwatering. And it wasn’t just me noticing.
The sly, sexy way he smiled, the dimple in his chin, the veins in his hands, the way the shirt stretched across his wide chest, and his bright, glittering eyes… I needed to be dumped into a pool of ice water. When he reached us, leading the beautiful Appaloosa mare, I felt my mouth go dry.
“Hey, you,” Charlotte greeted her brother, stepping forward to touch the brim of the hat that shaded the upper part of his face. “Are you ready for all of us?”
“I’ve got dinner covered,” he assured her, passing me the reins of the horse, “but I’ve only got room for you and Stef out here tonight.”
“No, I know.” She smiled at him. “I appreciate you hosting this for me. I know that traditionally the rehearsal dinner is for the groom’s family to do, but since they’re paying for the wedding… I wanted us—our family—to do this.”
“’Course,” he said, turning to me. “You okay to hold her?”
I nodded, looking at the horse, reaching out to stroke the side of her neck. “Yeah. She’s so beautiful, Rand.”
“Yes, she is.”
“She’s not one of your brood mares, though?”
“No,” he said slowly, “she’s not.”
I felt myself scowl. “What?”
He shook his head. “Nothing. It’s just funny that you know anything about brood mares.”
My face got hot. “No, I—”
“So tell me—how many brood mares do I have, Stef?”
“I dunno… fifteen?” I asked, looking up into his glittering eyes.
“That’s right,” he said, delight plain on his face. “And how many other horses on the ranch?”
“Four stallions, and what’d you tell Char last time—thirty saddle horses?”
His smile was out of control. “Yep, and what kind of cattle are here on the Red Diamond?”
I was aware of everyone’s attention. Charlotte was looking at me like I had grown another head, and Rand’s wicked smile was making his eyes glitter. I was making an absolute fool of myself, and that would not do. I dropped the reins before turning to walk toward the house.
“Is your mom here?” I asked casually.
“Yeah, she’s inside.” He chuckled.
I nodded, moving fast, not liking the fact that he was making fun of me. I had cared enough to remember details I had overheard about his ranch, and he found that amusing. Screw him! Nobody got to laugh at me. The only comforting thought was that after years of practice, my emotions were not easy to read on my face. I might feel warm, but I never blushed. I might have trouble speaking, but it only made my voice, when it did come out, lower, huskier, sexier. A string of my mother’s deadbeat boyfriends, culminating in a vicious stepfather, had taught me how to keep everything from showing on the surface.
“Stef!”
I kept walking.
“Stefan Joss!”
His voice had been a roar, so I stopped and looked back over my shoulder.
“I fired the butler,” he said sarcastically, pushing his hat back before pointing to the trunk of the car. “So you should probably bring in your and Char’s stuff.”
My look must have scared Ben.
“I’ll bring the bags,” the groom offered quickly, putting up his hands. “Just go in already.”
On the porch, the wood creaked under my wing tips, and I smelled the garlic and onions even before I reached the screen door.
“Hello,” I called out as I opened it and went in.
“Stefan, honey, I’m in here,” May replied from the kitchen.
You never realize how hungry you are until you’re faced with sautéed onions. Even if you hate them, they still smell amazing.
“There’s my boy,” Charlotte’s mother greeted me warmly as I came through the swinging door to join her.
After we finished the hugging and kissing portion of the evening, I listened as she explained about the twice-baked potatoes that were in the oven and the gravy she was making to go over the barbecue ribs.
I was leaning against the counter when Ben came in with my duffle and Charlotte’s garment bag. I saw him out of the corner of my eye.
“Thanks. Sorry.”
“No.” He shook his head, waving at me, wanting my attention.
When I was really looking at him, giving him the full weight of my stare, he mouthed out that Rand was a dick. Since Rand’s mother was in the room with us, I understood why I was reading his lips and not listening to his voice. No one wanted to hear a criticism of their child, even if it was true.
“I couldn’t agree more,” I assured him, leaning against the counter as Charlotte’s mother walked up beside me, her hand on my back, patting gently.
“I made peach crumb cobbler for you and Charlotte for later.”
She knew it was my favorite. “Thank you for thinking of me.”
“I always think of you, sweetheart… you’re my angel.”
I had taken care of Charlotte when she couldn’t, helped fulfill her late husband’s wish that his girl get a college degree. For the rest of my life, I was golden in her book.
“Which room is mine?”
“The one next to Rand’s at the top of the stairs.” She smiled at me. “Charlotte’s is across the hall.”
Grabbing my duffel, I slung it over my shoulder and headed for the stairs. I loved the feel of the house and noticed on the many occasions I had been forced to be in it over the years that, for whatever reason, I always felt comfortable. There were lots of windows, wooden floors, rugs that resembled Navajo blankets, and leather furniture with the brass rivets in it. It was a man’s home, and there were no delicate feminine touches, even though Rand’s mother visited often. She had left the ranch after her husband died and now lived in a condo in Lubbock.
My room for the night was small but airy, the Casablanca fan spinning slowly on the ceiling, all the windows open, the breeze bringing in the smell of wildflowers and charcoal. The grill had been fired up.
“I wasn’t laughing at you.”
Turning, I found Rand leaning against the doorframe.
“I swear, Stef, I would never laugh at you.”
“It felt like it.”
He shook his head. “Nope, I was just surprised.”
“About what?”
“That you knew anything at all about this ranch.”
I looked at him and felt my stomach flip over.
“So I’m sorry, all right?”
All I could do was nod.
His smile came fast as he tipped his head at me. “Nice collared shirt you got on there.”
I flipped him off, turning back to the bed, needing to take a breath since looking at Rand made moving air through my lungs difficult. He needed to go away so I could calm down.
Grabbed hard, I landed on my back in the middle of the bed under my best friend’s brother. It took me a second to realize that I had been tackled and that the man with the dancing eyes looming over me seemed very pleased with himself.
“Rand….” I tried to shove him off me. “What’re you—”
He bent and kissed me, sucking my bottom lip into his mouth, biting it gently. The result was instantaneous: I forgot about everything but him. My brain emptied; nothing mattered except Rand Holloway and the way I was being kissed, like if he didn’t, he’d die. He made me feel like I was all he needed.
I arched up into him and felt the answering tension, his hard thigh pressing into my groin, his arms wrapping around me tightly.
“Did you miss me?” he asked against my lips.
I coiled around him so he’d know, turning my head to offer up my neck for more of his marks. His teeth closing on the base of my throat felt like heaven, as did the hand sliding down my thigh, lifting my leg up over his hip.
“I wanna be buried back inside you, Stef. It’s all I could think about all day long.”
My eyes lifted from the kissable mouth to eyes filled with need. “Close the door and I’m all yours.”
He chuckled before he bent and ground his mouth down over mine, kissing me so hard, so deep, his tongue driving me out of mind, stroking over mine until I was sure I had melted into the bed. His hands were on me everywhere, under my shirt, on my burning skin. I didn’t even realize he had tugged the button-down out of my pants.
“You’re just saying yes ’cause you know I can’t do shit about this right now.”
I reached up and took his face in my hands. “I’m saying yes because I want you to fuck me ’til I pass out.”
The groan was low; he sounded like he was in agony. “Jesus, Stef… why you gotta say shit like that when you know it’ll be all I can think about now?”
“Because I can,” I said with a smile up at him.
“Aww, man.” He sighed before he suddenly clutched me tight to him, his face pressed into the crook of my neck. “This is good too.”
I had no idea what was going on. Hot pillow talk promising hours of fucking I could do. Intimacy was a totally different thing. The man was not trying to rip off my clothes; he was hugging me tight to his heart as he rolled over on his back, keeping me in his arms.
“Stay here with me after the wedding. I wanna wake up with you in the morning and take you riding and eat dinner, just you and me. Please… just stay here.”
I pushed against him, and he let me untangle myself. I sat up, straddling his thighs as I looked down into his eyes.
“Oh yeah.” He shifted under me, drawing his knees up behind my back, running his hands up my thighs. “This works.”
When I put my hands down on his chest and lifted up only to sink back down, pressing my ass over his groin, I felt him shudder under me.
“Stef.” My name came out as a sultry whisper. “Forget what I said… fuck me now.”
I licked my lips. “Can’t… you’ve got a house full of people to entertain.”
“Stef, I—”
“Stef!” Charlotte called as she clomped up the stairs.
I scrambled away from Rand and off the bed and was standing by the window when she strolled into the bedroom.
“What’re you doing?” she snapped at me. “Get downstairs and deal with these people with me.”
Rand muttered something as he stalked from the room.
“What?” she called after him. “What?”
I moved toward the door, but her eyes, suddenly back on me, froze me where I stood.
“What did he say?”
“What?”
She squinted at me.
“Seriously, what?”
“Did he just say that I shouldn’t yell at you?”
“No,” I assured her, tipping my head at the door. “C’mon, I’ll follow you.”
She was staring at me. “Why would my brother care what I do to you?”
“He doesn’t.”
But she did not look convinced as I walked out of the room.
THERE WERE over a hundred people just at the rehearsal dinner; I could only imagine what the wedding the following day was going to be like. As I sat at the table with the rest of the bridal party, I watched Rand as he stood talking to people I didn’t know. Every time I tried to look away, I found my eyes wandering back.
His black hair fell into his eyes, long in the front and running down the back of his neck, but not hitting his shoulders like mine did. The inky waves looked soft, and I knew from brand new firsthand experience that they were. The blue eyes looking out between the strands of hair that caught on his lashes were very sexy. I found that just looking at him—his profile, the chiseled features, the sharp, clean lines—made my heart beat funny. I needed to take a walk and clear my head so I could process everything that had happened.
I walked down toward the stable, and halfway there, I heard footsteps behind me. Turning, I found Nick. He was weaving, tripping as he closed in on me, so very drunk.
“You better get your ass back up there and—”
“Stef,” he cut me off, lunging at me, wrapping his arms around me, trying to pull me close.
But while Nicholas Towne was taller than me, six-three to my own five-eleven, he was not the wall of solid muscle that Rand Holloway was. I had him shoved back and flat on his back in the dirt seconds later. The maneuver I had performed had swept his legs out from under him before he even realized he was falling.
“Shit,” he coughed after a minute. “I think you broke my legs.”
“Hardly,” I said, squatting down beside him. “What the fuck was that?”
He coughed again. “I don’t…. I’m just drunk.”
I nodded. He was most definitely drunk, but that did not mean his agenda was fuzzy in any way. Had I been receptive to it, he would have kissed me and maybe done more. The look, when he came at me, had been pure lust. But making him explain himself was a mistake. Better to just let it go and not have any awkwardness for Charlotte’s big day.
“Take my hand.”
He took the assistance I offered him, letting me pull him up to his feet.
“Sorry, Stef.”
“It’s fine,” I assured him, turning away. “I’ll see you back up at the house.”
“You won’t tell Ben,” he said behind me.
“Shouldn’t you be more worried about explaining it to your wife?”
“Stef, I—”
“Just forget it.”
“Thanks, Stef,” he called after me.
I waved to let him know I’d heard him but didn’t turn around. I was having the weirdest few days.
The farther I walked, the calmer I got. It was twilight; the breeze was warm, and the smells of grass and flowers and the faint trace of smoke filled the air. It was nice, slow and easy, and as I climbed up on the fence to look out at the pasture, I had the strangest feeling of calm. Four men on horseback were riding toward the house, and when they saw me, they all lifted their hands to wave. It was nice, friendly, and I smiled as I waved back. Minutes later, hoofbeats in the dirt turned my head back toward the house. I doubted I would ever get tired of seeing Rand up on a horse. He belonged on the cover of a romance novel.
“Hey.” I nodded to him as I stepped off the fence, looking up into Rand’s bright blue eyes.
“What’re you doin’ out here?”
I shrugged. “Just needed to clear my head.”
“Why?”
“You know why.”
He nodded, patting the side of the horse’s neck. “C’mon, lemme give you a ride back before anyone attacks you again.”
My head snapped up. “You saw that?”
He smiled, leaning forward to give me his hand. “Yessir, I saw that,” he told me. “Which is why I nearly rode him down on my way to you.”
“Rand, he just—”
“C’mere,” he ordered me. “Hurry up.”
I grasped his warm, callused hand, and he hauled me up behind him.
“Put your arms around me.”
“I shouldn’t,” I told him. “Everyone will see.”
“See what?”
“How much I’ll be enjoying it.”
His rumbling laughter made me smile as he looked at me over his shoulder. “Hold on tight, Stef. I don’t wanna lose you.”
My thighs were plastered behind his, my arms wrapped around him, and I rested my cheek between his shoulder blades.
“Tighter.” His voice came out as a rasp.
I clutched at him, and I felt his hand over mine, his fingers between my fingers, pressing my palm over his heart so that I could feel his pulse through the flannel shirt.
“Call whoever you have to, but promise me you’ll come back here with me tomorrow after the wedding and stay here, just for a week or so.”
But how could I promise that when my life was in Chicago?
“Stef?”
“I’ll see.”
He was silent as we rode, just holding my hand until he cautioned me to stop squirming if I didn’t want to be pulled into the barn and thrown down in the hay.
“That sounds really hot,” I assured him.
“It’s not, actually,” he growled at me. “It itches.”
How matter-of-fact the man was in the face of passion made me smile.
“What’s funny?”
“Nothing,” I squeezed him tight, heard his grunt when I did it before his deep sigh.
I made him drop me off at the end of the drive and watched him ride away. I had no idea what he really expected me to do, while at the same time I wondered what I was capable of. I was normally so in control when it came to sex. I had been called cold, aloof, and distant, but I couldn’t manage to be anything but shockingly eager whenever Rand got near me. What the hell was I supposed to do?
IT WAS the evening I was certain Charlotte had hoped for, wished for. There was music and dancing and food… so much food. It was all so warm—the picnic tables with the red gingham tablecloths, the wildflower bouquets on every table, the pitchers of sun tea—the rehearsal dinner was more like a big family gathering than a planned event. Everyone got caught smiling. Even Ben’s father, whose comments about Charlotte’s family had disturbed me, was touched by the charm of the ranch. There was no way to miss the beauty, the quality of life that had not changed in generations, and the strength and character of the man who owned it and the men who worked it. Ben’s father, along with everyone else, was impressed with the Red Diamond Ranch.
As I watched Charlotte and her brother dancing on the end of the gravel drive, I took in the fluid way the man moved, the play of muscles under his shirt, and the way his jeans hugged his firm, round ass. When our eyes locked, I realized that I had been caught not only staring, but probably salivating. His arrogant smile told me he was pleased. I took quick refuge in the house, but it was a mistake. Had I not run, the torture would not have been instigated.
Later in the evening, back outside, I was having a slice of red velvet cake, listening to Charlotte’s uncle talk about the day she was born and what her daddy had said to him, Rand moved in beside me. The bite I was ready to eat was taken from me, along with the fork.
He grinned lazily, brushing against me. “It’s good, ain’t it?”
I could feel the warmth radiating off him. “Sorry?”
“Don’t you think?”
Any thought that had been in my head had been abandoned the second he gave me his full attention.
“Stef?”
“What?”
“The cake?”
“Cake?”
“Yeah.” His smile made his eyes sizzle. “The cake you’re eating. It’s really good.”
Watching him eat off my plate was what had been good. The muscles in his jaw, the line of his throat, the way he licked his lips—all of it combined had short-circuited my brain.
He leaned forward, his voice dropping low. “You like watching me.”
“Yessir, I do,” I said, licking my lips, my eyes narrowing. “And you like looking at me, too, don’t you?”
He sucked in his breath. “Yes, I do.”
“Good,” I said before I levered myself off the wall and walked back toward the house.
“Where are you going? I thought you were gonna play with me?” He sighed when he caught me at the back door with a hand on my bicep.
I looked down at his hand on my arm. “Can’t do this out here where someone might see us. What would they say?”
“Who?”
“Anyone.”
“Jesus, Stef you don’t have to get all serious alluva sudden. Do you even know how to play?”
“So this is a game?” I clarified with a chill in my voice.
“You’re bein’ an ass.”
“Let go.”
“No.” He smiled at me, tightening his grip, stepping in close to me so his chest was against my shoulder and I had to tilt my head back to hold his gaze. “I ain’t lettin’ go.”
“You have to,” I assured him, and for some reason I was flooded with sadness.
His eyes locked on mine, and when I eased out of his grip, he did, after all, let me go.
MUCH TO Charlotte’s annoyance, no one was leaving. I knew she wanted her quiet alone time with me, but by eleven, two hours after the dinner had officially ended, the entire wedding party and a few assorted cousins were still sitting around in Rand’s living room. I was stretched out on the couch, listening to everyone talk and laugh, the alcohol making for interesting conversation.
“Here you go, guys,” Ben said as he took a seat beside me, having used getting another round of beers as an opportunity to swap places. I knew that sitting next to strangers made him uncomfortable—he wasn’t a big extrovert. He felt better flopping down between me and Charlotte.
“Thanks,” I said, liking the way his thigh rested against mine. It spoke volumes about how comfortable he was with me. The fact that I was gay and he wasn’t didn’t matter in the least.
“I should have brought clothes with me too,” he groused, turning his head to look at me.
I shrugged, feeling good. I had taken a shower and was now sitting there in a white cotton button-down, white T-shirt, and jeans, barefoot, with my arms back over the seat; I was ready to drink or talk or do whatever anyone wanted. I was at their disposal.
“Tell me again what’s with the dress shirt,” Charlotte pressed me.
“I told you, I’m short clothes.”
“Which has like never ever happened to you before, care to explain?”
“I’m getting old and forgetful.”
Her scowl was immediate, and she would have said something, but the doorbell chimed and Clarissa got up to get it. She returned leading four women into our midst. It turned out to be Charlotte’s cousin Bethany, from Lubbock, and she had brought three friends with her.
“Those are the girls I told you about,” Charlotte said under her breath, leaning forward to talk to her brother, who sat beside the couch in an overstuffed wingback chair. “At least two of them might actually want to live way out here in the boonies with you, cowboy, so don’t mess up.”
He laughed at her. “Is that right? You’re setting me up the night before you get married?”
“A true matchmaker never sleeps,” she assured him, inhaling. “Well, at least you smell good for once, not like horses.”
The man’s scent was a hundred times better than good. The aroma of musk and soap was rolling off him. He looked and smelled good enough to eat.
“Well, let’s bring on the buffet.” Rand waggled his eyebrows at her, his eyes flicking to mine before returning to his sister.
“Here,” Ben yawned, shoving a Wii controller into my hand. “I wanna kick your ass at tennis again, alright?”
“I’m sorry?” I asked him, grinning as I stood up. “When did you kick my ass before?”
As I played, I could not stop glancing over at Rand. His warm smile lifted his eyes, crinkling their corners and turning them a startling aegean blue. One of the girls, Gillian, a pretty brunette with creamy olive skin and big dark eyes, put her hand on his forearm as she talked to him about hunting. Apparently, she wanted him to take her. She preferred to hunt wild boar, but whitetail deer or mule interested her as well. He seemed pleasantly surprised as he listened to her talk about growing up on a ranch.
“Christ, Stef, are you even paying attention?”
I wasn’t, no. When my eyes flicked back to Rand and the woman who wanted to bear his children, I was startled to find him staring.
“Can I play the winner?” he asked me.
I swallowed to make sure I could speak. “Sure.”
“Come on,” he said as he invited all the girls to sit behind us on the couch. As he walked by me, he put a hand in my hair, rubbing the back of my head quickly, gently, and the touch, coupled with the warmth in his eyes, made my heart hurt.
Ben beat me because I could not focus to save my life. I took a seat on the floor, not wanting to wedge myself in between the girls, and when Rand lost as well, he sank down beside me. When the girls offered to make room for him, he shook his head, leaning his knee into mine.
“I’m good here,” he assured them before he leaned sideways, his mouth hovering close to my ear. I could feel his moist breath down the side of my neck. “Don’t worry, baby, you’re the only thing here I’m interested in.”
Baby? I sucked in my breath. On what planet was I worried? When my head swiveled to look at him, he waggled his eyebrows for me.
“You should see your eyes,” he whispered, his smile making his eyes glitter. “How pissed off are you?”
I got up quickly to go to the kitchen.
“Hey, Stef,” Rand called after me, “bring me back another beer, will you?”
“Me too,” Ben chimed in. “Thanks, hon.”
I shot Rand a look over my shoulder, and he snorted out a laugh. I hit the swinging kitchen door with both hands. He would be lucky if I came back without a firearm. I was standing out on the enclosed porch when I heard a sound from behind me. Rand was slouching in the doorway when I turned to look.
His eyes were hot, and I saw the muscles working in his jaw. “I had no idea you were so possessive, Mr. Joss.”
“I already told you that I don’t like to be teased and I don’t like to be laughed at.”
“Yeah, well, so what?” He shrugged. “You need to learn not to take yourself so goddamn serious and stop bein’ such a pain in the ass.”
My eyes felt huge as I looked at him.
“Stop tryin’ to push me away ’cause I’m crazy about you.”
What was the proper response for that?
“You could say you’re nuts about me too.”
“That’s awfully presumptuous,” I said without thinking.
He chuckled, moving closer. “Jesus, how did I ever fall for such a coldhearted man?”
I was often accused of having no heart at all, because even though my friends saw it, the men I went to bed with never did.
“Shit, you’re too cool for me, Stefan Joss.”
I just stood there, staring at him as he got closer and closer.
“Or maybe not, huh? Maybe you’re not as unaffected as you pretend to be.”
I cleared my throat. “Better get back to the girls, Rand,” I said, shoving my hands in my jeans, taking a quick breath. “They’ll be missing you.”
“Shut up,” he growled at me, hands on my shoulders so I couldn’t bolt. “God, I’ve never met anyone who needed a kick in the ass more than you.”
I stared up into his eyes as he slowly lifted his hand and placed his palm on my cheek.
“You think I’m like all those others guys that can’t really see you, but I’m not. I know you better than that. I’ve seen you with Charlotte and my family, I watched you save Ben the other day, put yourself between him and my idiot cousin, and with me…. God, Stef, with me you’re so gentle and sweet—”
“Now wait,” I warned him, trying to tug away from him to no avail. He was not letting go. “I may be many—”
“Stop,” he ordered. “Last night, when you were lookin’ at me, kissin’ me… I saw you clear as day, Stefan Joss, and even though you don’t think you trust me or even wanna trust me… you do. You already do.”
I shivered hard.
“You ain’t gotta be strong all the time.” He exhaled, lifting his other hand to rest on the side of my neck, touching the pulse beating wildly at the base of my throat. “’Cause you don’t have to be on your guard with me. I ain’t laughin’ at you, I’m laughin’ along with you, and you need to learn the difference.”
“Rand—”
“Teasin’ you is all kinds of fun,” he rumbled, the backs of his fingers sliding up and down my throat.
I wanted him to put his hands all over me, so I bit the inside of my cheek to make sure I didn’t give voice to the desire.
“I don’t want you to worry no more about them girls.”
I coughed before clearing my throat. “I was never worried.”
“Like hell you weren’t.”
“Rand—”
“You done staked your claim, boy. Ain’t nobody takin’ that away from you.”
He was insane. “I did no such thing.”
“You wanted to sit in my lap.”
He had no idea how much I had wanted that.
“I wouldn’t’ve minded at all.”
I pulled free of him and took several steps back. “Really? That would have been all right with you if I just outed you in front of everyone?”
“It would’ve been better’n the silent treatment I got since this afternoon.”
“Rand, that’s stupid. I’ll be gone in two days. Why mess up your life for nothing?”
“So this is nothing to you.”
“No—you just—”
“Wait,” he ordered me, moving forward, the mountain of hard muscle that was Rand invading my personal space. “Just, let’s try a truce again, for the rest of tonight and tomorrow. I just don’t wanna fight with you no more.”
As I stared up at him, the light from the enclosed porch gave off just enough of a glow for me to see the hope and need in the big man’s eyes.
“Okay.”
“Okay?” The smile came blazing back to life, wicked and hot.
“Yeah, fine, whatever.”
He grabbed hold of the front of my shirt, fisting his hand on the collar. “You should see how you’re lookin’ at me.”
“How am I looking at you?”
“Like you wanna be kissed.”
“Are you drunk?”
He looked me up and down, missing nothing, eyes settling on my lips. “Your bottom lip is wider than your top one—just made to be bit.”
“Rand—”
He lifted a hand, turned, and disappeared back into the house. I was surprised that he left me and just as surprised when he reappeared on the porch seconds later.
“What are you doing?”
He held up an olive oil cruet and flipped a dishtowel over his shoulder.
I pointed at him. “I get to go home, cowboy, but you’re the one that gets to live with it if anybody sees us. You ready for that?”
“I’m ready; you’re the one who’s chicken.”
“Is that right?” I asked, walking backward away from him, toward the shadows where the dryer was, and beyond. “Maybe for that, you get to wait to get laid until all those people clear out of your living room.”
“I can’t wait,” he said, following me, stalking me. “You smell so good, Stef, and lookin’ at you all stretched out on the couch, that beautiful body just needin’ some attention, and those jeans… how are you even moving in them?”
“Come see if you can get them off.”
He charged over to me. “Oh, I’ll get ’em off,” he promised.
I leaped at him, arms and legs wrapping around him tightly, kissing him savagely as his hands cupped my ass, grinding his groin into mine. It felt so good—the friction, the way he rubbed against me, how rough he was as he kissed me.
“Fuck, Stef,” he growled at me, shoving me up against the washing machine, both hands on the fly of my jeans. Then his voice went up sharply. “Shit!”
He had to lunge sideways to catch the glass cruet and keep it from falling off the dryer, and the ridiculousness of the situation made me laugh.
“What?”
I tried not to giggle. “We’re outside sneakin’ around like a couple of kids, ready to use olive oil as lube, no less.”
“Yeah, it’s hysterical.” He smirked at me before he spun me around and pushed me forward, steering me past the dryer to a small folding table I hadn’t noticed in the dark. Seconds later, the snap of my jeans surrendered to his dexterous fingers, and the zipper followed. All I heard was his indrawn breath before I was bent forward over the table, my jeans and underwear shucked roughly to my knees. I parted my legs as far as I could and let my head fall back.
“Rand.” I trembled when I felt his slippery fingers coating my crease.
“Say I can. Tell me it’s okay.”
“You know it’s okay.”
“You’re so beautiful, Stef. I mean it. I ain’t never seen the likes of you.”
He rubbed his face in my hair at the same moment his oily hand wrapped around my cock. A hoarse moan tore out of me.
“I love the noises you make,” he said, his voice a throaty whisper as he prodded against my entrance. “Fuckin’ love ’em.”
I could feel the muscles in my ass clenching and unclenching, ready for him, wanting him, needing him. “Fuck me.”
“Yessir.” He exhaled as he thrust inside, sheathing himself in me, the burn white-hot for seconds before the pleasure twisted quickly into bliss.
He felt so good. I was so full, and his cock buried inside me felt somehow more intimate than it had ever felt with anyone else. “Rand.” I barely got his name out.
“God, Stef, your body just swallows my cock and then holds it so fuckin’ tight… how is that even… baby,” he moaned, sliding in and out of me, stroking deep, the movement sensual and slow. The pace of his movement let me know that he wanted to feel all of me squeezing all of him.
I pushed back as he pushed in, the two of us rocking together hard, the sound of skin slapping on skin filling the open space. The fingers tracing my lips were salty when I tasted them, and Rand let out a harsh groan when I sucked his thumb inside my mouth.
“Christ, I have never wanted anyone this bad,” he almost snarled, tangling his hand in my hair only to yank my head back hard, making my back arch as he shoved into me, stretching me tight. The angle was perfect, and he stroked over my gland, causing a hoarse moan to well up from deep inside me.
I felt my balls tighten, heat gathering at the base of my spine as the strokes became harder, pounding thrusts before I was lifted and twisted sideways, folded in half, his hand like a vise around the back of my neck. Rand slid his hand to the small of my back and held me there, anchored, the hammering thrusts pushing up as I was forced down. Every gliding stroke nailed my prostate. I couldn’t scream—only panting came out.
His balls slapped against my ass, his thighs plastered to mine as he pushed in and out of my clenching hole, fucking me so hard, so deep. I writhed on his cock, and I heard the sharp intake of breath.
“Fuck yeah… come for me. You’re fuckin’ drippin’, Stef… you’re so hard in my hand… let go, just let go.”
His name tore from my throat in a strangled whisper, and semen splashed the floor at my feet. The muscles in my ass clamped down on him, gripping his cock tight, and I instantly felt my insides filled with heat.
“Stef!” He got out my name before I was yanked up roughly by my hair, and arms like iron wrapped tight around me. His face was buried in my shoulder, and I registered the moisture seconds later.
“It’s okay,” I soothed him, trembling hard, so thankful to be held.
“I’m not….” he started, but couldn’t continue.
I knew he wasn’t crying; it was simply that the emotions were overwhelming, the pleasure so intense that there was no way to process it without breaking down just a little.
“I don’t wanna let go,” he said, his mouth opening on the side of my neck, sucking hard.
The man really enjoyed leaving marks on me. “You gonna stay inside of me ’til you go soft?” I smiled, letting my head bump against his, my body boneless in his embrace.
“Stef!” I heard Charlotte yell from inside.
“I guess not.” He chuckled, and because he was still buried inside me, plastered to my back, I felt the rumble spread through me like a ripple on the surface of a lake until my entire body vibrated with his happiness.
When he slid out of me, I had to grip the edge of the table to keep myself standing. Everything in me wanted to beg him to stay buried to his balls in my ass.
“I wanna lie down with you,” he said, kissing up the side of my neck to my ear, breathing out sharply, covering me in goose bumps from head to toe. “Don’t you wanna get in my bed, Stef? Don’t you wanna wrap yourself around me?”
I groaned, unable to stop shaking.
He took a quick breath. “Lookin’ at your sweet little ass with my stuff dripping out of it is makin’ it hard to breathe.”
His words were having the same effect on me.
“Stefan Joss, where are you?”
The yell was shrill—she wanted me now. Without another word to him, I bent, yanked up my briefs and jeans, and bolted from the porch.
“You smell like come and olive oil.” He laughed at me as I threw open the screen door.
I had just enough time to flip him off before Charlotte appeared in the kitchen doorway.
“Jesus Christ, Stef,” she barked at me. “I’ve been looking for you for a half an hour!”
But even though she was mad, all I could hear was Rand’s throaty laughter. He really needed to get it together. It wasn’t that funny.
ONCE THE crowd thinned out, I went upstairs with Charlotte and lay down on her bed. I listened to her talk about Ben and the wedding flowers and the appetizers and how much she hated vegans and why my idea of having a photo booth had been so inspired. She had wanted to have cute pictures of everyone, and now she was sure to have them. The photo booth would make two prints of every picture, one for the guest and one for Charlotte’s wedding album.
“How did you ever get so brilliant, Stef?”
It was a photo booth; I had not found the cure for the common cold. “Seriously, how tired are you?”
She groaned loudly and flung herself facedown on the bed.
“What’s wrong?”
There was a long, muttering explanation spoken into the pillow.
“Look at me, because I didn’t hear a word of that.”
She rolled her head to the side, her eyes fastened to mine. “I said that Ben wants to know about the worst day of my life.”
My stomach did a slow roll.
“What should I say?” she asked, her fingers featherlight across my jaw.
“What do you want to say?”
She took a shaky breath. “I want to tell him, but I’m just afraid that he’ll look at me different after. I should have told him a long time ago.”
Her face looked pained.
“Honey, do you—”
“Will you hold my hand?”
“What?”
“When I tell him”—she swallowed hard—“will you hold my hand?”
I took a quick breath. “Cut out my heart instead.”
Her sigh touched my face. “I already did that.”
Laying there, my face inches from hers, I watched her eyes fill, saw the tiny rosebud lips purse and the delicately arched brows tighten slightly.
“Ben’s downstairs.”
“He’s drunk.”
“Maybe that’s better.”
We sat up at the same time.
“It’s a lot to take in the night before your wedding,” I told her.
“And I should do what?” she asked me seriously. “Begin my life with him with this hanging over us?”
“What’s hangin’ over you?” I snapped at her. “If he never knows, who cares?”
“Easy for you to say.” Her sigh moved my hair. “You know already.”
I rolled my head back so I was looking at her.
“Sorry, that was a shitty thing to say.”
Only at that moment, staring into her eyes, did I realize how terrified she was. I grabbed her hands tightly, startling her, as evidenced by her gasp.
“You know… whatever happens….”
She nodded quickly, the tears spilling over, trailing down her cheeks. The reassuring smile she gave me, trying to comfort me, was painful. “Go get him.”
I didn’t say anything; I just got up and went to the door.
“And Rand.”
My head swiveled back to her.
“I want Rand to know.”
“Why?”
“Because he should,” she said, her tone telling me that she was resigned to the idea.
Halfway down the stairs, I remembered to breathe.
Maybe it was my face, or the way I couldn’t bring myself to speak, but when Rand saw me, he got up from where he was sitting apart from the others. Instead of sharing space on the couch, he was alone in the wingback chair.
“Stef,” he said softly, moving quickly to step in front of me. His hand slipped around my neck, his thumb sliding down my throat. I doubted that he even realized he was touching me, wearing his affection and possessiveness for anyone to see. It was fortunate for him that everyone was drunk. They didn’t even spare us a glance.
“Can you and Ben come upstairs with me?”
“’Course,” he said, turning only his head to look over his shoulder at Ben. “C’mon.”
“Stef, what—”
“Now.” Rand’s voice dropped into his chest, and I heard Ben’s quick intake of breath before he was up and standing beside me. “We’ll follow you.”
When I opened the door of the bedroom minutes later, I found Charlotte standing at the window. Her face, when she turned, was panicked.
“Shit,” I muttered, crossing the room to her, taking the trembling hand she reached out to me. She was already a mess.
“Char?” Ben asked, and I heard the click of the door closing behind him.
She took a breath, forcing a smile. “Okay, so the other day I blurted out about the worst day of my life, and you said you really wanted to know.”
He was stunned; it was all over his face. The man had been laughing and having a good time earlier, and now, suddenly, he was stone-cold sober. “Charlotte—”
“And I know it wasn’t just that, because you’ve known from other things I’ve said, how weird I get sometimes in the dark or when we went to that swingers’—”
“Charlotte!” He raised his voice, glancing at me and Rand. “I don’t think—”
“I was excited to go.” She smiled, even though her eyes were starting to moisten, redden. “I told Stef all about the retreat.”
His eyes snapped over to me. “She told you about that?”
But before I could answer, as she did in most situations, she answered for me. “Seriously, Ben there’s nothing—and I mean really, nothing—I don’t tell Stef.”
He opened his mouth to speak.
“Like remember the time you shot your wad so hard you hit the cat?”
“Charlotte!” he coughed.
I smiled at him, giving him the big thumbs-up. “Nice distance, by the way.”
His eyes were huge as he turned to look at Rand.
Charlotte’s brother clapped him on the back. “Not bad, but I don’t have a cat. If you can hit one of my hunting dogs, I’ll be impressed.”
I could tell from his expression that of all the revelations of the past few minutes, Rand joking around with him was the biggest. Ben was looking at him like he’d grown another head. When his eyes hit me, I just shrugged. I’d had no idea the man could laugh or tease or be funny either. I had been just as surprised.
“So anyway—” Charlotte cleared her throat. “The point is I really wanted to go. I mean, I’m as twisted and kinky as the next girl, but when we got there, it was just…. I wasn’t expecting the bondage part of it, and even that would have been okay, but—”
“You freaked when those two guys grabbed your arms.”
She nodded fast. “Yeah, I mean if the girls had strapped me in, I probably would have been all right, because the straps themselves, the harness… that wasn’t like what happened, so it wouldn’t have reminded me.”
“Char,” Ben began softly, taking a step toward her, “I don’t think you really want Rand and Stef here when you—”
“Oh no,” she cut him off, lifting a hand to stop his progress. “I have to have Stef here, and Rand…. I mean, I should feel weird telling him that his baby sister is willing to take part in a ménage or even an orgy, but even though I talk a lot of trash about my brother… he’s still my brother, and c’mon, I tell my family everything. Even my Mom knows about the weekend with the swingers.”
“She does?” Ben gasped.
“Oh sure.” She nodded. “My family is not emotionally stunted like yours is, Benjamin. We all talk about things.”
“Char—”
“But the only thing I’ve never told my mother or my brother or you is about the worst day of my life,” she cut him off, squeezing my hand, shifting on her feet so she was pressing against me. “And you should know… I mean, I was telling Stef that I should’ve just told you before, but I just—I never—”
“You were raped, weren’t you?” Ben swallowed hard, the muscles in his jaw working.
I saw Rand’s brows furrow as he crossed his arms, waiting.
“Honey.” Ben’s voice was soft, caressing. “I don’t—”
“No,” she said, her voice small, nasally, as tears filled it, welling up in her eyes. “I wasn’t raped. My friend Mandy was.”
No one moved or made a sound, and Charlotte took a breath.
“See, I had this great idea in junior year that for me to really date and meet lots of guys that I would move in with another girl and have the cool bachelorette pad.” She nodded, taking another breath, swallowing before she found her voice again. “And so I moved in with my friend, Mandy Woods.”
“I don’t remember you living with anyone but Stef,” Rand said, letting her focus on the most mundane part of the story for a moment so she could get herself under control.
“I know.” She smiled through her tears. “Because it was so short. I think it was like two months, and then I was back home… with Stef.” She wiped quickly at her eyes, taking another quick breath.
“Love….” Ben moved closer, and when her hand didn’t stop him, she retreated just a little behind me. It was enough to stop him.
“I can’t confess if I can’t get it out,” she told him.
He stopped, and his eyes flicked to mine. “I hate that you know whatever this is and I don’t. It’s killin’ me.”
It had nearly killed me at the time.
“Okay,” she growled, shaking it off. “Sorry, I’m stronger than this shit. Here’s what happened. I woke up because I heard screaming, and there was a man in my bed choking me.”
“Ohmygod, Char—”
“Shut up,” Rand said, his eyes never leaving Charlotte.
She gave a quick smile. “He told me that he’d kill me if I made any noise, so of course the second he let me go, I screamed my head off.”
No one made a sound.
“When he came at me again, I made it off the bed and out of the room, and I would have made it out of the apartment, but I tripped over Mandy,” she managed to get out before the sob took her voice.
My arm went around her, and she turned into me, face in my shoulder, hands digging into my back as she clutched at me.
“I thought… maybe I’ll write it down,” she cried and then suddenly laughed, looking up at me. “Fuck, it’s like a goddamn oral book report.”
I grunted out my agreement.
“Did you have to do those?”
“’Course. Your teacher gives you a choice. You can either stand up in front of the class for three minutes or write a six-page report.” I smiled down at her, wiping away her tears. Her eyes were already getting puffy. “I always stood up.”
“Oh, I’m sure you did.” She sighed. “I always wrote the six pages.”
“Well.” I shrugged. “I am fantastic at oral.”
She coughed before snorting out a laugh. “God, leave it to you to tarnish my memories of elementary school.”
“It’s a gift,” I assured her, wiping away more of her tears with my hands. “Don’t cry anymore. You’re gonna look like shit for pictures tomorrow.”
She giggled. “I know, right? I mean, you with your black eye and me looking like ass, what’re people gonna think?”
“Who knows,” I grunted before blowing cold breath on her face. “There, now finish. It was your brilliant idea to do this tonight.”
“Could… maybe you….” She shook her head, waving her hand at me. That was it; her voice was gone.
“Shit,” I muttered under my breath. Somehow I had always known that the explanation would fall to me. Looking over at Rand and Ben, I realized how hurt Charlotte’s fiancé looked, and saw plainly the fury stamped on her brother. Quick was better, the Band-Aid theory, and so I took my own breath to settle the butterflies in my stomach. “There were two men in the apartment. The police agreed that the screaming Char heard was Mandy. She made it out of her bed after being raped, but she didn’t make it out of the apartment. They caught her and hit her, and she was just a little tiny thing, and….” How could I explain all the blood? How broken she had looked with her throat cut?
“So Charlotte fell down, but she got up fast.” I smiled down at my friend for a moment. “And when she got up, she ran into the kitchen and grabbed a knife.”
“You fought,” Rand said flatly, and Charlotte turned to look at him and nodded.
“She did,” I told him. “And when Kevin Kramer went after her and tried to grab her, he ended up dead.” I looked back down at her. “Like he deserved to, in that apartment with the girl he raped and murdered.”
Charlotte nodded.
“Mandy’s parents think you’re a fuckin’ superhero.”
Another quick nod.
“But what about—”
“Stef came,” Charlotte gasped like she was surfacing from deep underwater. “I turned around after I stabbed”—gulp of air—“Kevin in the throat, and the other guy grabbed me and punched me, and he was kicking me when the door opened and there was Stef.”
Two sets of eyes on me.
“I had a key,” I told them. “I called earlier, and she told me to come and sleep over after I went out ’cause we were supposed to do something the next day. So I got to the apartment and opened the door and….” I shrugged.
It was hard, even after so long, even being so far removed from it, to put everything into words. The blood, the man beating the shit out of my friend, Charlotte’s face, the weight of knowing that in that instant, I was all she had.
“Oh.” She sighed, easing away from me, and I saw her smile. I opened my mouth to stop her. “No—no, you know I’m good during this part. I can tell it from here, it’s just before, when I was scared and alone… but then you came,” she said, turning to look at the two men she had trusted with this story. “Stef just ran in, and the guy, Jared Kenny, he tried to stab me, but Stef was there before he could.”
Adrenaline was a scary thing. I had seen pieces. The guy, Jared, had lunged at me, and before I even registered my action, my fist had connected with his jaw. He fell hard and fast, and the second he hit the ground, I kicked him. My motorcycle boot made mush of his face, but I wanted to make sure he stayed down.
“When the police got there, it was all over.”
“Did Jared go to jail?”
She nodded. “He did.”
“And is he still there?”
“No, he died three weeks into his sentence.”
“Do you know—”
“Yes,” she cut Ben off. “The detective who took care of my case told me. Another prisoner killed him.”
“Why?”
“The detective didn’t say.”
“How did the men get in the apartment?”
“Through Mandy’s window. She was forever leaving it open. I told her all the time to…. Stef even put a lock on it so all she had to do was shut it, and it would…. But she forgot.”
“Char—”
“When the police interviewed Jared, he told them that he and Kevin were out shooting pool when they saw Mandy and decided to follow her home.”
“Jesus.”
She shrugged. “They got in through her window and raped her, and when she got away and went to call the police, Jared stopped her. He beat her up pretty bad before he slit her throat.”
There was a long silence.
“Is it okay,” Ben finally whispered, looking at Charlotte. “Could I maybe hold you now?”
She lifted her arms for him, and he lunged forward, grabbing her tightly, crushing her against him.
“Oh baby,” he breathed into her shoulder, shivering hard. “I’m so fuckin’ proud of you. You were so strong, and you were so brave, and you never gave up.”
“It was just survival instinct,” she sobbed. “That’s all. I’m not—”
“You’re amazing,” he assured her, “and I knew it all along, but it’s even clearer now. Goddamn, woman, you’re a lion!”
I was so pleased with him, so touched watching Ben hold my best friend, that I didn’t realize that Rand was speaking to me for several minutes.
“What?” I asked softly.
“Thank you.”
I smiled up at him, into the azure eyes, before he moved to go to Charlotte and Ben. As I watched the three of them, I understood the magnitude of what my best friend had done. She had exorcised all her demons, had come clean to the two most important men in her life, and now she was ready to be married the following night with no secrets, nothing hanging over her. It was a triumph for her, and I was so proud and so happy, even though I knew our relationship had just changed forever.
Because she had told Ben and Rand, I was no longer the caretaker of her secrets, no longer her champion. Her husband was taking my place as her safety net, and while that was the way it was supposed to be, I had no job if I wasn’t the person in Charlotte Holloway’s life who reassembled the pieces after she broke. If I didn’t ride to the rescue, what use was I? When I slipped from the room, no one noticed.